True Wish
by Diamond Snowflake
Summary: Growing in the white sands of Hueco Mundo are red flowers of passion and love. But these flowers are stained with blood and soon enough, they will be destroyed as the storms of winter approach and the sound of blades clashing ring louder and clearer. AxI
1. The Capture: Burning Hatred

Title: True Wish

Pairings: Aizen x Ichigo, Ulquiorra x Orihime, hints of others

Warnings: Swearing, sexual content, violence

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance, could be considered tragedy

Summary: Instead of just Orihime getting kidnapped, both she and Ichigo are taken as prisoners. While in Huco Mundo, Ichigo finds himself inexplicably drawn towards Aizen and vice versa while uncovering many hidden and unknown truths, creating many complications along the way and ultimately ending up in a forbidden romance with a tragic end.

* * *

><p>A string of curses flew out of the young orange-haired teen's mouth when he was locked up alone in his "room" although a comfortable cage seemed to be a more fitting name. Honey brown eyes sent a vicious glare at the door as though everything was its fault. Childish? Perhaps, but there wasn't much else he could do aside from that other than twiddle his thumbs.<p>

He huffed out an annoyed breath before replaying in his mind exactly how he had gotten into this mess in the first place.

_Flashback:_

The sounds of swords clashing rang in the air as Grimmjow and Ichigo slammed into each other furiously. Fierce electric blue eyes and eerie golden ones glared at each other when they collided before they pulled away simultaneously and fired attacks at each other, ceros from the sexta and black energy from the vaizard.

Earlier in the battle, Grimmjow had been winning despite the loss of one of his arms but once Ichigo pulled his mask on, the tide turned although not for much longer.

'_Shit I need to hurry. My eleven seconds are almost up!'_

He swung his sword down in a powerful swing and shouted, "Getsuga Tenshō!" A black wave of energy surged towards Grimmjow resulting in a huge cloud of smoke from the impact just as Ichigo's mask began crumbling away.

Ichigo panted as he landed on top of a building, using his sword to help him stay standing. He let out a small sigh of relief before muttering, "That… should have gotten him-" A figure suddenly appeared in front of him and he barely had time to register Ulquiorra's presence before the espada moved.

His eyes widened in shock when a fist landed in his gut causing him to collapse, completely winded. Ulquiorra's face remained impassive as he supported the now barely conscious body of the substitute shinigami.

Turning his attention to the smoke cloud, he inquired, "Trash, how long to do you plan on playing dead?" Ichigo's hazy eyes widened a bit and his semi-aware mind prayed that what he just heard wasn't true but clearly some higher being up there _really_ didn't like him because when the smoke finally dissipated, it revealed Grimmjow still alive albeit covered in injuries.

"Shut the fuck up Ulquiorra" Grimmjow spat as he wiped some blood away from the corner of his mouth. "What took ya so damn long anyway?" Instead of responding, Ulquiorra threw Ichigo at him and said, "We are returning. I have already secured Inoue Orihime so our business here in the human world is complete." That last comment snapped Ichigo back into a somewhat more awake state as he began struggling in Grimmjow's grip, causing said espada to snarl in annoyance.

He flung the squirming shinigami over his shoulder before ripping open a gargantuan and easily stepping through, Ulquiorra gliding in gracefully after him. "Let me go you stupid bastard!" Ichigo weakly growled as he tried to kick his captor, his movements getting more frantic as the gargantuan started closing. After getting fed up by Ichigo's feeble attempts at escaping, Grimmjow finally just knocked him out earning him a reproving glare from his companion.

"Aizen-sama wants the boy alive and relatively undamaged trash. Is you're tiny brain too small to comprehend that?" Grimmjow sneered back at him and retorted, "If he wanted the kid back 'unharmed' then he should have sent someone else to do it." Their bickering was cut short when they entered the large fortress, Las Noches, and were met by an ever-smiling Gin.

Ulquiorra nodded his head respectfully while Grimmjow just unceremoniously dropped the unconscious shinigami although Gin quickly caught him, sparing him from suffering what would have been a rather painful meeting with the floor.

"Welcome back you two~ And would ya look at that, you actually successfully pulled off a legit mission Grimmie! There's still hope for ya yet although ya get some points deducted fer the damages." Grimmjow glowered at both the jabs and the ridiculous nickname.

Gin chuckled in amusement while he took out a special object specifically made for Ichigo. A slim, black collar with a pale white jewel in the center was slid around Ichigo's neck, the clasp connecting with the other end perfectly as though there had never been an opening, making it impossible for the wearer to remove it.

The moment the collar was sealed, the gem in the center glowed before turning into a misty light blue color. Grimmjow snorted and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "Stupid bastard-sama and his need to show off."

Gin hummed in satisfaction while not-so-accidentally stepping on Grimmjow's foot.

"Right then, I will take our dear little Strawberry to Aizen-sama so you two can be on your merry ways. Oh wait on second thought… Ulquiorra, you've been assigned ta watch the lovely princess so you should head on over to 'er room."

With that said and done, Gin took Ichigo to the room that was soon to be his.

* * *

><p>"Berry-tan, wake up~"<p>

Ichigo moaned slightly when he felt someone shaking him and trying to make him wake up despite how blissful his unconscious state was. Blearily, he opened his eyes and blinked in mild confusion when he saw a smiling silver fox hovering above him.

"A… fox?" Said fox chuckled before saying, "Much as I enjoy being compared ta animals Berry-tan that ain't exactly right. Ya don't remember me?" Ichigo stared at him for a while before his memory flashed back to Rukia's execution and he remembered fighting this guy when he entered Soul Society.

He jerked his head up but due to the unfortunate close proximity he had with the other man, they ended up smacking heads with each other, quite painfully too. "Ouch, yer head's hard Berry-tan" Gin commented, nursing his forehead while Ichigo cursed. After recovering a bit, Ichigo looked at the other man and snapped, "Don't call me that! Besides, why should I apologize to you if you're technically my enemy…. uhh…. Gin?"

Gin's smile widened as he cheerfully replied, 'I guess I should be happy ya at least remembered part of m' name. Ichimaru Gin, former 3rd division taicho and current babysitter at Las Noches at yer service~" He completely ignored the part about the younger man not liking the nickname he gave him.

Ichigo's wary expression turned into a startled one and he began asking, "Babysitter?" when Gin abruptly stood up and energetically declared, "Now that yer awake, enough dawdling! We need ta go see Aizen-sama 'cause he wants ta talk to ya 'bout somethin'."

Disregarding any protests, he grabbed Ichigo's wrist and started dragging him out. "Wait a damn minute! Who said I was gonna speak to that bastard?" Ichigo demanded while struggling to free himself from the iron hold. "Ya want ta know about the condition of yer dear friend Orihime-chan don't ya? 'Sides, Aizen-sama can answer more of yer questions if ya ask him directly."

The hitch in his voice told Gin he'd hit the mark when he mentioned the human girl and he mentally patted himself on the back for having gotten Ichigo to calm down a bit. "I'm going to kick his ass if he hurt her." On second thought, he might have gotten him to calm down but he sure as heck hadn't managed to get him to think rationally.

Before any more could be said, they arrived at a very large door which vaguely reminded both of the 1st division's entrance way. Once they stepped inside, they were met with the sight of all ten espada seated around a table, some of whom appeared to be drinking… tea.

Ichigo's body immediately tensed when some of them directed their attention towards him. There was a taut silence that threatened to break into violence as hostile feelings began stirring, excitement and agitation caused by the thick tension in the air.

"Ah, it appears our guest has arrived."

The calm, amused voice shattered the slightly strained atmosphere as Ichigo jerked his head up, only now seeming to realize that Aizen was also in the room. Said man smirked at him from his throne-like chair as he added, "I hope your stay has been for the most part, enjoyable. I heard your journey here was rather… rough."

Ichigo barely suppressed a snarky response and instead boldly demanded, "Where's my sword?" Aizen's eyebrow rose slightly in amusement as he replied, "Your sword is safely locked away and will remain untouched unless I say otherwise." In other words: The sword is in a place where you will not be able to find it thus leaving you a sitting duck in a lion's lair.

It was at about this moment when Ichigo realized he had absolutely no access to his reiatsu. "The hell? What did you do to my reiatsu you bastard?" he hissed in anger. Aizen's eyes narrowed slightly and Ichigo suddenly found it difficult to breathe as a wave of reiatsu pressed down on him.

"I abhor expletives Kurosaki-kun and I would like for you to refrain from using such uncouth language in my presence." Aizen's tone didn't really change but there was a definitive harder edge to it and his amused smirk had all but vanished. As Ichigo geared himself up for another defiant comment, he continued, "It would be a shame if any… harm befell Inoue Orihime should you insist on acting like a child."

That silenced any unpleasant words Ichigo had been about to say so he instead, settled on sending a vicious glare at the man he was starting to hate more and more.

Once he felt his point was made, Aizen began speaking again, "And to answer your question, I had a special item made to seal your reiatsu in order to prevent any unfortunate mishaps from occurring. I am quite pleased to see that the collar fits since it was designed to complement the outfit you will be wearing during your stay. Do not bother trying to remove it, only I can take it off."

Ichigo's glare intensified as he made a mental note to try to get the damn thing off once he was alone although he had a feeling it would just be a waste of time and energy. Out loud, he hissed, "I'm not your dog and like hell I'll wear anything from here." Aizen's smirk returned full force as he replied, "Perhaps but you will continue to wear that collar like one until I deem it unnecessary and unless you wish to run around in rags or nothing at all, then you will wear the clothes brought to you."

If looks could kill, Aizen would have been dismembered, cut to pieces by a chainsaw, and then burned in a barbeque; that was how deadly Ichigo's fiery look was as he struggled to prevent himself from just trying to strangle the egotistical bastard. "What do you want from us?" he finally asked, phrasing the question in a much more pleasant manner than it had been in his mind.

"From Inoue Orihime, nothing other than for her abilities to stay out of my way. As for you, there are many reasons for bringing you here but the simplest one is that you are the most detrimental factor to me in this war so I need you to be out of the way."

Vaguely interested by the odd response, Ichigo pushed his curiosity aside and fixed Aizen with unwavering defiance in his eyes as he demanded, "Then why don't you just kill me?"

* * *

><p>AN Whew, first chapter of _True Wish_ is finished! I hope readers enjoyed it XD The story might seem a bit slow for a while since I need to figure out how Ichigo's going to warm up to Aizen but it'll all work out (I hope). Anyway, as a small bonus, I'll add "deleted scenes" at the end of each chapter for some humor so enjoy~

_Ichigo's Capture Scene Take 1_

Grimmjow slung the squirming shinigami over his shoulder, his hand accidentally brushing the shinigami's ass.

_SMACK!_

"Don't touch my ass you pervert!" Ichigo yelled bright red in the face as he proceeded to beat the shit out of Grimmjow.

"Kurosaki…"

"What Ulquiorra?"

"… That was an accident."

"…"

"… Oh. Uhh, sorry Grimm, I guess I overreacted a bit…" A little sign next to the heap known as Grimmjow asked, "A BIT?"

_Ichigo's Capture Scene Take 2_

Ichigo's eyes widened when Ulquiorra hit him, causing him to collapse from the pain.

After a couple minutes of interacting between the two espadas, Grimmjow demanded, "What took ya so damn long anyway?"

Instead of responding, Ulquiorra looked at the substitute shinigami who appeared to be muttering curses.

"Dammit Ulquiorra, you were supposed to hit my gut, not my friggin' privates!"

_The Collar_

A slim, black collar with a pale white jewel in the center was slid around Ichigo's neck, the clasp connecting with the other end perfectly as though there had never been an opening, making it impossible for the wearer to remove it.

Gin smiled proudly at his handiwork until Ichigo gasped out, "Gin… too…. tight…"

Gin hurriedly removed the collar as Ichigo gasped for blessed air. Rubbing his throat, Ichigo glared at Gin and muttered, "Am I going to live long enough to even get into a relationship? I swear you guys are all trying to kill me…"

TBC… Or not XD


	2. Captivity: Despair

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews for the first chappie and my other story, _Never Alone_, I really appreciate it ^_^ Here's the next chapter~

Disclaimer: As per usual, Bleach and all its characters belong to Tite Kubo (T_T lucky duck)

"_Then why don't you just kill me?"_

'Such a simple question yet so difficult to answer' Aizen mused silently. It was true that killing the boy would make everything so much easier yet he was hesitating to do so. Aizen wasn't a fool by any means and he knew that deep down, the reason for his hesitation was because he was fascinated by Kurosaki Ichigo.

The boy had achieved the same amount of power as some of the strongest captains in the Gotei 13 in an unbelievably short amount of time and he _still_ hadn't reached his full potential. As the child of a once powerful shinigami and a strong-willed human woman, the possibilities for Ichigo were unimaginable; he wanted to keep him alive if only to see how far the boy could go. His rather attractive features and the delightful fire in his eyes that never seemed to die were only added bonuses.

"Now where would the fun be in simply killing you when there are so many other things far worse than death? For instance, I think it would be much more enjoyable to force you to watch each and every one of your comrades die, either in the war or in a valiant attempt to rescue you and Ms. Inoue. Or I could torture you in front of your family and friends and have them suffer the anguish of seeing their beloved hero slowly die while they are unable to do anything to help."

Ichigo literally saw red and despite the reiatsu suppressor around his neck, his eyes flashed gold for a second as his raging reiatsu begged to be released, preferably in a way that would silence the source of his fury; he could hear Shirosaki encouraging him to rip the bastard's head off. Unfortunately, the second Aizen's reiatsu pressed down on him, he lost focus and the power he had built up slipped from his grasp leaving him to collapse on the ground, gasping for air once more.

"Interesting, to be able to even get your eyes to change color despite the collar…" Aizen idly commented while he reigned in his reiatsu, "Well rest assured, I have no desire to end your life although the first idea is rather tempting. I have other plans for you that require you to be alive so you should be quite grateful." Ichigo weakly breathed in blessed air although the look in his eyes was most definitely not one of gratitude. The blazing glare in his eyes hadn't diminished in the slightest, causing Aizen to inwardly smirk in satisfaction at the challenge presented to him.

_'Breaking Kurosaki Ichigo would be very interesting indeed._'

"There is nothing more that needs to be said so I do believe we are finished here. Gin, escort our guest back to his room." Ichigo clearly thought otherwise but Gin cheerily said, "Yes sir~" and gave a mock salute before helping Ichigo up and ushering him out, the door closing with an echoing thud.

* * *

><p>"Man Berry-tan, ya really need ta learn when ta fight a battle and when ta make a strategic retreat. It ain't smart tryin' ta fight Aizen-sama physically or verbally when yer like this." Ichigo's scowl reflected his irritation and once he had fully regained his breath, he retorted, "I'm not just going to ignore any threats he makes against my friends! I don't care if I'm too weak to do anything, I refuse to just let him say or do whatever the hell he wants."<p>

Gin shrugged in capitulation before brightly saying, "Well at least the two of ya will be able ta keep each other on yer toes~ No one, not even Grimmie, stands up ta Aizen-sama very often so yer probably throwin' him a loop with yer behavior. And as fer you, ya need ta learn the difference between bravery an' stupidity an' this is the perfect opportunity for that provided it don't kill ya in the mean time. Who knows, maybe you two will be able ta find some sorta understanding and even warm up ta each other~"

"Over my dead body."

"…" One of Gin's eyebrows rose as he glanced at Ichigo's shinigami robes which, he belatedly realized, were still torn and bloody.

"Over my physical dead body. There, happy?"

Gin just chuckled before opening the door to Ichigo's room. "That ain't much better since all we'd hafta do is get the mod soul outta yer human body and then voilà, a dead phyical body!" Ichigo sweatdropped at the logic that he grudgingly agreed made sense as they stepped into the room he had first woken up in.

"Alright here we are~ If ya need anythin' just talk ta the arrancar guardin' the door and they'll be speedin' off faster than you can say "That's an order!" Let's see what else… you'll be gettin' new clothes ta wear in the evening so don't worry 'bout that... Oh and lastly, try ta avoid Aizen-sama's bad side or else ya won't be able ta chat with yer friend. I think that's all so I'll see ya later Berry-tan. Bye-bye~"

Ichigo was still processing Gin's words when said whirlwind of energy was already heading out of the room.

The door was shut and Ichigo was snapped back to focus when he heard the sound of a lock clicking into place, leaving him trapped, weaponless, frustrated, and alone in enemy territory.

_End Flashback_

Plopping down onto the surprisingly comfortable bed, Ichigo gripped one of the pillows harshly as the reality of the current situation threatened to overwhelm him. "Shit I screwed up big time. I can't find my sword, get this stupid collar off, save Inoue, _and_ escape without getting caught!"

"_Nice aibou, not only do ya get yer ass kicked but ya also get stuck in somethin' like this."_

Great, now his inner hollow was lecturing him about his screw-up. 'Why couldn't the stupid collar at least make it so that I couldn't hear this damn voice?' Ichigo mentally grumbled.

"_I heard that! Ungrateful aibou…"_

A brief moment of silence as both sulked a little before Ichigo started talking again._  
><em>

"Any particular reason why I can only talk to you?"

"_Che, still an idiot ain't ya? The only thing we can't do is lend ya our powers; god-wannabe never said nothin' 'bout talkin' ta each other. Ya could probably still talk ta the old man but he's somewhere meditatin' on his pole or somethin'. "Less yer situation changes fer the better or worse, he won't think it necessary ta speak. By the way, keep talkin' ta yerself, you'll only look a bit insane."_

"Shut up! And here I was about to thank you for actually being civil for once!"

"_I was only bein' civil 'cause it's friggin' pourin' in here again and I was tryin' ta make ya stop it!"_

"…. You were trying to make me feel less lonely and depressed?"

Ichigo blinked when he felt something akin to embarrassment and denial from his hollow as he snapped, _"Why would I do somethin' pathetic like that? I was just tryin' ta get the rainin' ta stop an' that's _it._"_

Lips quirking slightly into a genuine smile, Ichigo said, "Shiro?"

"_The hell do ya want?"_

"Thanks."

He faintly heard Shiro scoff before feeling him fade back into the recesses of his mind. He was still slightly miffed by Shiro's mild change in behavior but decided this was fine since they were actually sort of getting along.

Unfortunately, without Shiro distracting him, he was left alone to his thoughts which usually lead to more brooding.

'I can't mope around like this, it'll only make Zangetsu-ossan and Shiro miserable and that's not fair to them.' He sighed. 'I really have to get out of here. I don't want the others to do something stupid and try to rescue us and I also need to get Inoue out of here as soon as possible.'

'I also need to talk to vaizards… I never got around to actually thanking them for their help… Oh crap, what'll Yuzu, Karin, and Goat-face think? Yuzu and the idiot might not be worried right now but Karin should have definitely felt my reiatsu vanish…'

He slammed his fist onto the bed furiously, seriously regretting not telling them he was at least going on a trip before he went running off to train with the vaizards. Now, who knew when he would see them next if ever at all. He had failed not only as a friend who could be relied upon but also as a dependable older brother and that hurt more than anything else.

His family had no idea where he and Orihime were, the shinigamis were still lacking in military strength due to the deficient number of captains, the vaizards were unwilling to get involved in the war, and he was basically at the mercy of the one who started the whole stupid war in the first place.

"_What the hell am I supposed to do?"_

* * *

><p>AN: Again, thanks for the reviews and keep 'em coming XD I'll _try_ to update often but no guarantees, especially since I have other stories I'm dying to try out~ Well anyway, look forward to the next chapter!

And the most anticipated part yet… Deleted Scenes!

_Shiro's Denial_

"…. You were trying to make me feel less lonely?"

Ichigo blinked when he felt something akin to embarrassment and denial from his hollow as he snapped, "Wh- no- what're- ... Gah! I give up."

"Shiro, you can't just give up, we're in the middle of a scene!"

Said hollow was currently sulking in a corner as he snapped back, "Shaddup! I only memorized my lines up until my 'The hell do ya want' line!"

"…"

"Shiro, you do realize that line is _after _the one you just gave up on?"

"… Well fuck."

_Ichigo's Brooding_

'And the vaizards… I never got around to thanking them… Crap, what'll Yuzu, Karin, and Goat-face think? Yuzu and the idiot might not worry but Karin should have definitely felt my reiatsu vanish…'

'Goddammit, now she's gonna actually kill Goat-face and then she'll get arrested, and then Yuzu will be alone, and then some fishy stranger is gonna come and kidnap her, and then-"

"Ichigo."

"What Zangetsu-ossan? Can't you see I'm busy? And wait, are you even supposed to be speaking in this scene? What're you-"

"Ichigo, you rambled too long about your siblings."

Silence.

"#*$!"

_Behind the Scenes…_

"Can we go beat up Aizen yet?"

"No Renji, we haven't even been mentioned yet!"

"When is the magnificent Kon-sama gonna get his solo?"

"Oh can it you stupid plushie. You're like, less than a minor character."

"What'd you say? Why I outta-"

"Renji, Kon, if both of you do not shut up this instant, I will tie you up and lock you in a men's bath house for the elderly for a year. And you know what that means, yes?"

_No ogling hot _young_ guys or girls for a year._

"Yes mistress Rukia!" both squeaked out.

_Behind the Scenes Bonus_

During break…

"Yo guys, I hope you realize you were loud enough to be heard during the scene we were acting out which by the way, meant we had to do it all over again" Ichigo said with a pissed off grin as the devil known as Shirosaki loomed menacingly behind him (it had been the scene he had screwed up his lines in. He had finally gotten them right and then he was told to do them over due to background excess noise).

"Ummm, sorry?"

* * *

><p>The joys of friends :D And no worries Kon fans, I will try to make it so that he's not just a 'less than minor' character (that'll take a bit of effort but it should work out X3)<p>

TBC~


	3. UlquiHime: Jealousy

Here's a chapter for the UlquiHime fans~ Their relationship progress will probably have their own dedicated chapters unless I can somehow figure out a way to get both theirs and AizIchi's in the same chapter. So to all the AizIchi fans, sorry! . The next chapter will most likely focus on them so look forward to it!

* * *

><p>Ulquiorra's POV<p>

_In another part of Las Noches…_

After leaving the meeting (which largely involved the espadas being ignored so he found it rather pointless), Ulquiorra silently entered the room he was assigned and surveyed his new ward unnoticed. The woman known as Inoue Orihime, for some unknown reason, intrigued him and it was irritating. Someone who was simply trash should not be bothering him to the degree that she was.

There was nothing significant about her other than her rare ability to "cancel" an event as she had demonstrated when she restored the arm of the trash known as Grimmjow Jaggerjacques.

If one overlooked her strange powers, then it became quite obvious that the woman was weak, her reiatsu not even holding a candle to Kurosaki Ichigo's. Her healing and defense abilities only worked so long as she had the strength to use them and her compassionate nature made her useless in a battle.

In short, she should have been perfectly content to remain uninvolved in the shinigamis' affairs and it would have been more beneficial for her to simply continue living a normal human life.

Yet she didn't.

Despite all her weaknesses and the risk of losing her life in something that shouldn't matter to her, she insisted on getting involved in the war. Now here she was, her very existence in danger of being ended at any given moment since it rested in the hands of his lord who had no real care for her well being. And all because she wanted to help her "friends."

* * *

><p><em>'So why isn't this woman terrified? She should be crying, on her knees and begging for her life but she isn't, and it infuriates me that such a simple creature behaves in such an incomprehensible manner.'<em>

* * *

><p>It wasn't that she was completely unafraid; she always had a frightened look in her eyes whenever he or any other arrancar approached her. But then the look would vanish, replaced by one of a quiet resolve to remain composed in front of her enemy.<p>

It was a form of strength he was unfamiliar with and though he would never admit it out loud or even to himself, it unsettled him. He despised not knowing or understanding something and he instinctively went on guard when faced with an unknown. It was incredibly annoying.

* * *

><p><em>'Why must I be cautious of a human girl I can easily crush with a single hand?'<em>

* * *

><p>The source of his ire still had yet to take notice of him so he continued his silent observations. Her body, though clothed in the loose white garments unique to Hueco Mundo, was tensed a little as though she was worried about something. She was standing in front of the only window provided, long hair dancing in the light breeze that floated in while her mind was lost in thought.<p>

It would be a long time before he would finally be able to admit to himself that he thought she was the most breath-taking creature he had ever laid eyes upon at that very moment.

As he was now however, he remained in adamant denial and ignored any thoughts related to examining the ridiculous notions his mind seemed to be having.

He called out to her, finally making his presence known.

"Woman."

Orihime jumped a bit before she turned to face him only just now noticing he was in her room. Just as he had surmised from her body language, she was indeed worried and there was even a fearful edge in her eyes that she normally would have never allowed to be seen.

The reason for her fear became clear when she burst out, "Is he okay? Kurosaki-kun isn't hurt or anything is he?"

Worry and fear not normally displayed so clearly, her ability to sense reiatsu permitted, Kurosaki Ichigo's reiatsu vanishing without warning due to the seal…

The puzzle pieces clicked together and he distantly felt something akin to displeasure for some odd reason, as well as a form of wonderment.

* * *

><p><em>'How can someone hide concern for their own well-being yet so openly display it on someone else's behalf?'<em>

* * *

><p>"He is well, his reiatsu was simply sealed. He met with Aizen-sama briefly but only because my lord wished to speak to him."<p>

She visibly relaxed as she gracefully sat down on the bed before murmuring, "I'm glad he's alright."

For some unexplainable reason, that irked Ulquiorra and for once, words spilled out of his mouth without his control.

"Weak trash such as him will inevitably die. I fail to see how he is still breathing considering his pathetic strength."

Her eyes widened before narrowing as she stood up abruptly and strode purposefully towards to him.

_SLAP!_

There was silence, the only sound being Orihime's harsh breathing as she gave him a glare that was filled with pure anger and fury.

"Don't, don't you dare say that. Kurosaki-kun is strong, much stronger than anybody else and he will _not_ die, not in a place like this."

Ulquiorra's face remained impassive as he stated, "Trash will be eradicated and it's only the time and method of how they die that varies. Unfounded hopes won't change anything."

Orihime's eyes lost their angry edge a bit, replaced by fondness, unwavering belief, and a bit of something else he couldn't identify.

"It might be unfounded but I believe in him and I know it's not just me, everyone else does too. Ishida-kun, Chado-kun, Kuchiki-san, all the other shinigamis, his sisters; anybody whose lives have been touched by his strength understands that he won't die, not while there are people he wants to protect and especially not when someone's still out there threatening those people."

She looked directly in his eyes and said, "Power isn't based on just how strong your physical abilities are, it's also based on willpower and strength of heart. There will always be people stronger than Kurosaki-kun physically, there's no use in trying to deny that. But in terms of resolve, he will never be beat. His kindness and love for the people he cares about is unparalleled and only someone with equally strong feelings might be able to kill him. No matter what anyone else says, that is what I believe."

He gazed into her clear eyes, inwardly astounded by the sheer magnitude of her faith in someone with such weak power and lack of killing intent.

The boy was like the woman in the sense that his gentle nature hindered his true capacities and made him weak. The only reason he'd survived for so long was because of sheer luck, his opponents either didn't have the strength to finish him off after battling or something else occurred that had to take priority.

He whole-heartedly believed Kurosaki Ichigo was weak and the nonsense about strong wills and resolves was nothing more than desperate hope and he conveyed his opinion through his eyes, like he was trying to telepathically get her to agree.

They stayed like that, eyes locked in an unspoken battle over who was right and who was wrong.

Finally, Ulquiorra looked away first although it was not because he was admitting defeat. He had more imperative things to be doing other than trying to stare down an obstinate woman and he was done wasting time.

"I will return in the evening with food. Until then, you will be guarded by other arrancar. If you require anything, ask them."

If Orihime minded the rather sudden end to their argument, she didn't show it. She only nodded in understanding but as she returned her attention back to the window, her expression turned downcast.

Somewhere deep inside, Ulquiorra knew the reason for her dejected look and yet again, words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"You will be allowed to speak with the other trash tomorrow afternoon provided you behave."

Her head snapped back in his direction, her eyes sparkling with hope and happiness despite the rude phrasing as she asked, "Really?"

Aizen-sama had said the two prisoners were allowed to spend time with each other once in a while provided neither caused any trouble. Aside from the minor outbursts during the meeting, Ulquiorra didn't believe the boy had done anything to warrant a punishment since his lord hadn't been mad per say, just bothered by the profanities used by the fool which he easily rectified.

And as for the woman, though she _did_ just recently hit him he wasn't really angry, just a bit baffled as to why she had reacted so strongly.

He gave her a curt affirmative response before he turned on his heel and glided out, shutting the door behind him. He knew he didn't have to bother locking it since it was highly doubtful that she would risk doing anything that would jeopardize her meeting with Kurosaki Ichigo.

As he walked down the long white hallway, He felt a strange feeling when he thought about how happy the woman had been at the prospect of seeing the trash but easily brushed it off as a fleeting feeling that lacked any substantial importance.

He eventually learned that the feeling actually held significant meaning and that it had a name.

_Jealousy._

* * *

><p>AN: I'm not a huge fan of Orihime mostly when she's in damsel in distress mode. I think she's a lot stronger than that which is how I'm going to portray her in this story. Her relationship with Ulquiorra is going to be a bit complex like Aizen and Ichi's, starting from captor/captive and eventually transitioning into love. On a side note, I just love Ulqui :3 His emotion scale is about as long as mine aka, very limited XD Next chapter will take a bit of time but I'll try to get it up as soon as possible~

* * *

><p>Anyhoo, it's time for…. Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Orihime's Worry_

Just as he had surmised from her body language, she was indeed worried and there was even a fearful edge in her eyes that she normally would have never allowed to be seen.

The reason for her fear became clear when she burst out, "I forgot to buy chili peppers and mayonnaise!"

Ulquiorra looked at Orihime with a raised eyebrow as she blinked and then grinned sheepishly.

"Oh, oops! Sorry Ulqui, I was trying to decide what to make for dinner and that just slipped out."

'… I think it would have been better if she never remembered…' was the unanimous thought of the rest of the acting crew.

_The Slap_

"Umm, so in this scene, I have to hit Ulqui?"

Affirmative response.

"Eh? But what if I hit too hard…"

Ichigo called, "It's ok Orihime, Ulquiorra's a tough guy and its just a slap." Ulquiorra nodded in agreement so Orihime took a deep breath and announced, "Ok, I'm ready then!"

During the scene…

"Weak trash such as him will inevitably die. I fail to see how he is still breathing considering his pathetic strength."

Her eyes widened before narrowing as she stood up abruptly and strode purposefully towards to him.

_**SLAP!**_

_Crash!_

Silence.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Ulqui!"

"… Uhh Orihime, I know I said he's a tough guy but that was a little… You didn't have to hit him _that _hard."


	4. Propositions: Weakening Resolve

That _bastard._

Ichigo didn't care if his insult was very uncreative; he felt that that word was the perfect epitome of the egotistical, arrogant, conniving, and full-of-bullshit-megalomaniac known as Aizen Sousuke.

Confused? Let's rewind a bit then.

* * *

><p><em>Half an hour earlier…<em>

Ichigo had been restlessly pacing around, dividing his worries between his friends in the human and shinigami world and Orihime who admittedly was of a higher priority since she was actually in immediate danger.

Passing by his bed for the fiftieth time, he mentally tried to reassure himself but ended up just getting more concerned.

'Gin said she was okay but still, that could have been just a way to make me lower my guard…'

His thinking process was going in circles. He seriously needed to get his act together and stop worrying about the others for a moment so that he could try to figure out a way to escape.

Unfortunately as the saying goes, that was a hell of a lot easier said than done.

While he was preoccupied, he failed to hear the sounds of footsteps approaching his room and someone telling the arrancar outside to leave for a moment.

'What if Inoue's in trouble right now? Or what if Aizen sent the espada to attack the others again? Or what if...'

He was finally snapped out of his thoughts when he realized someone was coming into his room again. Assuming it was Gin, he whirled around and asked in bewilderment, "Why are you back alrea-"

The words in his mouth died when he realized the person who had entered his room was not Gin but was in fact the bane of his existence.

Aizen strolled in as if he had no cares in the world, his long robes swishing with a certain sway of elegance as he approached Ichigo

He warily watched the man and backed up a bit before demanding, "Why are _you_ here?"

To his relief, Aizen halted his advance but then the bastard actually had the gall to feign innocence as he asked in a mock, hurt tone, "It almost sounds like you don't want me visiting you Kurosaki-kun."

Understatement of the friggin' century.

"You didn't answer my question" Ichigo snapped impatiently.

Aizen arched an eyebrow and smoothly replied, "I will overlook the lack of respect only one more time." The amusement in his voice had taken a slightly harder edge that did not escape Ichigo's notice.

He seethed but held back any biting comments at the subtle threat as the bastard continued, "And to answer your question, I have a preposition for you." Ichigo had a very distinct feeling he wasn't going to like it.

His instincts were never wrong.

"I will allow the shinigamis and a certain number of humans from your precious town to survive…"

There was a catch; he just knew there was going to be a catch.

"… if you swear your allegiance to me."

...

What. The. Hell.

Ichigo was seriously tempted to believe the man in front of him was a fake because that had to have been the most obviously disagreeable offer known to humanity and something that someone of Aizen's intelligence level should have known was never going to be accepted.

Resisting the urge to use profanities or say somethin insulting, Ichigo bit out, "Why would anybody want to join the person responsible for their kidnapping? Or for that matter, the one who plans to kill thousands of people just to make a key so that he can storm some king's palace and make himself the ruler?"

A light smirk flickered on Aizen's face as he replied, "You should be quite willing in all actuality. You, a few of your friends, and your family will be allowed to live instead of dying and only at the cost of a few thousand lives of people who shouldn't mean anything to you. A few thousand isn't really that much, its basically similar to destroying an ant hill so I don't see any problems or reasons to reject my offer."

The way he talked about people's lives made Ichigo's stomach churn; it shouldn't be possible for a person to just casually talk about mass murder as if they were discussing the weather.

Blazing honey chocolate eyes pinned him with a glare as Ichigo hissed, "I refuse. I don't care if they're strangers, it's wrong to kill them for your selfish desires."

Aizen seemed unfazed by the intense look as he raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So you would rather your beloved family and friends be killed along with the rest of the humans in Karakura Town?"

Damn bastard for playing the family and friends cards.

His hands closed into tight fists as he searched for something to grasp on to so he wouldn't fall for the bait.

"The shinigamis will stop you." Even to Ichigo's ears, that sounded hopelessly pathetic and Aizen's smirk only grew smugger.

"Soul Society's strength is much weaker than what my army possesses and even if they weren't, they have all been exposed to my shikai's ability and are thus susceptible to my illusions. Without you, they don't even have the slightest chance of winning."

Ichigo's resistance faltered even more since he was also perfectly aware of the devastating effects Aizen's shikai had and the vulnerability the shinigamis had when it was involved. And there was no denying that Aizen's forces were formidable in numbers.

"That's-"

Aizen noticed his hesitation and attacked with more cruel words, slowly chipping away at Ichigo's defiance like a predator breaking the last barrier between it and its prey.

"Do you honestly believe that about twenty relatively strong people max will be able to handle the full might of my force? I could easily send wave after wave of hollows to weaken them and then send my arrancars and espada to finish the job. I wouldn't even need to get involved."

"Shut up."

They have no chance of winning so why not limit the number of casualties? The ones who truly matter to you will survive and the ones that only drag you down will be eliminated. And all you would have to do is join me."

Ichigo clenched his fists even harder and shouted, "Shut the hell up you bastard!"

He hated this. Hated Aizen for his poisonous words; hated _himself_ for letting the words eat away at his faith in his friends and for even considering the sugar-coated, poisonous offer.

Aizen smirked victoriously as he stepped away and said in a false, kind voice, "I see I have upset you. I suppose for someone as compassionate as you, this decision is a bit... diffcult."

Ichigo didn't say anything but he also refused to look at him, a sign that his words were sinking in and tearing the last remaining bits of his resolve into pieces.

Inwardly pleased at his soon-to0be-successful breaking of the boy, Aizen added, "Since I'm feeling rather generous today, I'll let you have until tomorrow morning to think of a response; I look forward to a favorable answer. Enjoy your meal and the time you will be permitted to spend with Ms. Inoue this evening Kurosaki-kun. Good night."

With those final words he left, leaving Ichigo to his thoughts and in his current predicament.

* * *

><p><em>Present<em>

It was at times like these when Ichigo desperately wished to bash his head against the wall for getting into this situation.

'I can't just agree to join the bastard and let thousands of people die, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself and the others would be pissed beyond belief…'

Even as he tried to convince himself of these things, Ichigo knew he also couldn't risk letting his precious family get hurt simply because he was being stubborn.

He paused in his pacing, hoping to calm himself down a little but that just allowed the tempting offer to gnaw at his already disintegrating resolve.

The knuckles of his clenched hands had turned white from the long loss of blood circulation as his eyes reflected the inner turmoil he was facing.

His options were either the people he cared about or people he barely knew. The answer should be obvious but it went completely against his nature and basic morals and carrying the burden of so many sacrifices would be far to heavy for him to handle.

Two choices and both required heavy losses, a decision he didn't want to have to make.

Numbly, he stumbled to the bed and fell onto it, curling into a fetal position as the choices weighed his mind down. Flashes of potential outcomes for each were far from pleasant and it only sent him sinking further into despair.

Eyes fluttering closed, he began drifting into a light slumber as the fatigue caused by his predicament finally caught up with him.

"I don't know what to do..." he mumbled softly before he entered the realm of dreams.

* * *

><p><em>Ichigo opened his eyes and blinked in confusion. He had been expecting to land in his inner world and get chewed out by Shiro or possibly Zangetsu, not in… wherever he was at the moment.<em>

_He _was _still asleep right? Well, unless he had somehow sleep-escaped from Hueco Mundo and arrived in an oddly peaceful place, he was pretty sure this was a dream although he had a surprising amount of clarity for someone who was asleep._

_He tried to figure out if this was possible before deciding that now was not the time to be thinking like a doctor's son.  
><em>

_Shifting his focus, he surveyed his surroundings, finding the mysterious yet rather calming scenery intriguing, peculiar, and even a little eerie. _

_He was surrounded by pure darkness except for where he was standing which appeared to be a small cliff. Down below in front of him was a large pool of water with stones forming a path to the center where there was a large stone platform. Floating on it was a softly glowing light, the only luminescent object in the strange place so he focused his attention on it.  
><em>

_For some reason, the light both attracted and repelled him although it only seemed to radiate a warm, comforting feeling that felt achingly familiar. He really wanted to move closer to it but something more cynical inside him was reluctant to, as if afraid of being disappointed. It was something he had felt before when he was younger but it kept slipping from his memory.  
><em>

_He was still trying to pinpoint the nostalgic feeling when he felt another wave of warmth from the light a little stronger than before and suddenly, his memory clicked. _

_What he was feeling was safe_, _as if there was nothing that could hurt him while he was near the light. _

_He had been nine when he had last felt like this. He had been a foolish idiot who had believed that he would always feel this sense of security, a belief that had died along with the center of his world._

_He wondered why he was having this dream now since he had never felt something that so closely resembled the one he failed to protect in any dreams prior._

'Idiot, it's just a dream. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe your insecurities are making you needy like a child and you're hoping that person will just magically appear and make everything better like when she was alive' _he bitterly thought._

_He was about to turn away and just let the darkness consume him when he heard a voice come from the light, a voice that he had longed to hear again for so many painful years._

"…_Ichigo…"_

_The voice that belonged to only one woman. His..  
><em>

"M-mom?"

* * *

><p>AN: An unexpected twist! Will Ichi's "dream" be able to help him or will he continue to drown in his doubts? Only time will tell XD Thanks for the reviews guys and keep 'em coming! I love hearing all your opinions and they hopefully help me write better~ Next chapter will come soon! (I hope)

* * *

><p>Aaaand it's time for… Deleted Scenes! (Everyone's favorite part right? :D)<p>

_Aizen's Expressions_

"I will allow the shinigamis and a certain number of humans from your precious town to survive…

… if you swear your allegiance to me."

What. The. Hell.

Ichigo started saying something as he glared at Aizen before suddenly turning scarlet, sputtering something incomprehensible, and then giving up.

He whirled around and quickly called, "Hold on, cut!"

Aizen blinked at him in mild confusion as Ichigo buried his flushed face into his hands and mumbled incoherently.

"Is something wrong Ichigo?"

Ichigo muttered louder, "Do you have to look like a freaking predator in heat when you say that line? It's insanely hard trying to remember what I'm supposed to say when you look so friggin' gleeful and horny at the same time!"

_Familiar Voices_

_He was about to turn away and just let the darkness consume him when he heard a voice come from the light, a voice that he had longed to hear again for so many painful years._

"ICHIGO!"

That was most definitely not the voice he had been yearning to hear as Ichigo sighed and shouted back, "Ririn, kinda in the middle of something here! I thought I told you not to shout when you need something when scenes are being acted out."

Ririn pouted and called, "But… but… it's important!"

Ichigo prepared himself for a headache as he asked, "And what was this important thing?"

Shuffling feet and a deep intake of breath for a dramatic shout.

"Kon stole my plushie!"

It was times like these when Ichigo seriously considered hiring a babysitter for his friends (who should be around his age but insisted on acting like five-year-olds).

"Ririn."

"Yup?"

Big sparkly eyes that Ichigo knew he could never win against.

A sigh. "Fine, you can kick his ass just don't interrupt another scene, got it?"

But she was already long gone and he sighed and muttered, "I need new friends."


	5. The Strength of Women: New Determination

_Ichigo leaped down from his perch and landed on one of the rocks leading up to the center platform, eyes glued to the light with disbelief and shock filling his entire being._

_He got closer to it but then paused on the last stone, wanting so badly to let his mother's warmth envelop him but hesitating out of fear that it would disappear the moment he got too close._

_His worries were cleared however, when the light grew in size until it formed into the familiar outline of the one he lost so many years ago. The brilliant light began fading, morphing the silhouette into the face of a beautiful woman whose sweet butter chocolate eyes and flowing orange hair so closely resembled his own._

"Mom… are you… is it really you?" _he choked out, still refusing to let his hopes get raised too highly only to get crushed later._

_Masaki just smiled before holding her arms open, a silent invitation he needed no further asking to accept._

_In a flash, the distance between them was closed as he finally held the one woman he had cherished more than any other in his arms, her thin but strong arms wrapping around him._

_After a couple minutes of just staying like that, she pulled away and looked at him fully, eyes shining with love and unrestrained pride._

"_You've grown to be such a handsome man Ichigo, I'm so proud. I wish I could have been there to watch you grow up."_

_Ichigo's happiness dimmed a bit as a wave of guilt flooded through him. Regret shining in his eyes, he blurted out, _"I'm sorry Mom, if I hadn't been so stupid that night, you would have-"

_A finger lightly pressed on his lips, silencing any further words. Gently, she took his face and tilted it towards her so she could look at him clearly._

"_My darling child, I wish you would forgive yourself for that night. You insist on burdening yourself with my death even though no one else begrudges you for it; not your loving father, not your adorable sisters, and especially not me."  
><em>

_He inhaled sharply when he felt as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. Hearing those words come from her mouth directly seemed to cement the reality of what she and so many others had told him and he was able to look at her now without anything clouding his conscious._

"Thanks Mom."

_Her sweet smile widened as she lightly squeezed his hand and said, "I wish we could talk about everything that you, Isshin, and the girls have gone through but that isn't what you need right now and the time we have is limited."_

_Blinking in alarm, Ichigo demanded, "_You have to go?"

_The reassuring squeeze on his hand returned as she replied, "Unfortunately, I cannot stay. I am only here because your heart is so terribly troubled and your need for guidance so strong. What I am now is currently nothing more than a final fragment of my soul that remained with you until it was called upon in the direst of times."_

_The disappointment in her son's eyes tugged at her heart so she pulled his head down and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before murmuring, "Ichigo, you have grown to be such a strong and independent young man. You no longer need me to keep moving forward."_

_When it looked like he was going to argue against that, she said assertively, "You have what it takes to keep walking my dear child. You have a family will always lend you their support and friends will never cast you aside. You have found mentors who can guide you and enemies who will force you to make mistakes and grow."_

"_But most importantly, you have a great inner strength that is beyond unimaginable, a strength you have been using all these years and must now use again."_

_There was a moment of silence as she let her words sink in, waiting patiently for him to say something since he refused to meet her gaze once more._

_Finally, he mumbled just barely loud enough to be audible, _"It won't help me now Mom. I can be as strong as I can but that won't change anything. I still have to make a choice between saving the people I care about and letting them die with the people of Karakura."

_Soft hands firmly turned his head once more to look at her as she chided him, "And this is why I said you must turn to that inner strength. It encompasses more than just a stubborn will and a powerful resolve and you need to remember what else makes you strong."_

_She paused briefly when her body suddenly shimmered a bit before the lower part of it started disappearing into small floating balls of light._

_Ichigo's eyes widened in horror when he saw this and he pleaded, _"Wait Mom, you can't go! I don't understand what you're trying to say! Please… I finally got to see you again…"

_Masaki's arms wrapped around him once more even as they started vanishing too as she said gently, "I'm sorry but my time is running out… I must move on soon."_

_Her fingertips briefly touched his head in an affectionate gesture before they also turned into glowing lights. Soon, her head also began to disappear until only a cloud of luminescent lights and a fading voice remained,_

"_Remember Ichigo… Alone, a person will never be burdened with the lives of others and can obtain vast amounts of power. But someone who is not alone will never be weak because those he protects will always watch his back and in turn, they will have someone watching over theirs. For people who are supported, there is no such thing as limited possibilities."_

_Ichigo's hands desperately grasped at the lights in a vain hope of bringing her back but inside, he knew it was a lost cause and he dropped to his knees, refusing to let the moisture in his eyes fall as the final pieces of his mother's existence began dissipating. As the last of the lights faded, the darkness surrounding him began to creep closer until it enveloped him in a blanket of sweet oblivion which he gladly accepted faintly hearing his mom's final words._

"_I love you Ichigo and I'll always watch over you… Good-bye…"_

* * *

><p>"...kun..."<p>

Words were slowly dragging him out of the deep depth of his slumber and he distantly wondered if this was another dream. His eyes fluttered open a bit as his body stirred and he looked to the speaker, feeling a surge of hope when he saw someone with long orange hair.

"Kurosaki-kun? Kurosaki-kun, are you alright?"

The worried voice of Orihime brought him somewhat back to reality and he groggily sat up, feeling a small pang of bitter disappointment. His half-awake mind drifted and his eyes became unfocused as he replayed his dream.

'Mom's words… she was trying to tell me something important but I don't know understand what…'

"Kurosaki-kun?"

His mind snapped into full awareness and he whipped his head around to see Orihime kneeling at the side of his bed, concern and a bit of relief washing over her face when he finally actually saw her.

"Inoue? When did you…?"

Before he could say anything else, she threw her arms around him and sobbed, "I'm so glad Kurosaki-kun, I thought for a moment that Aizen-san had done something to you! You were tossing and turning and no matter what Gin-san and I did, you wouldn't wake up…"

He was momentarily stunned before regaining composure and awkwardly patting her on the back. "Er sorry Inoue, I was having a really… strange dream and I guess I was so into it that I didn't realize you were here. Sorry about that."

She pulled away and looked at him, checking to see he wasn't lying on her behalf. Satisfied that he was telling the truth, she smiled and said, "It's good to see you Kurosaki-kun, scaring me aside."

He returned the smile with his own small one before asking in concern, "You've been fine right? That bastard hasn't hurt you?"

She quickly shook her head and replied, "Oh, no! Actually, I've mostly been interacting with Ulquiorra and he's been for the most part quite considerate. He's a bit on the unemotional side but…"

She trailed off and looked a bit uncomfortable so Ichigo changed the topic and said, "That's good, I'm glad he hasn't bothered you."

A thankful look flashed in her eyes before it was overshadowed by concern as she asked, "Is something bothering _you_? You look troubled..."

It was times like these when he was reminded that though Inoue was generally a bit of an airhead, she was incredibly perceptive and intuitive when it came to her friends.

Raking a hand through his hair, he thought about what to say before asking, "Say Inoue, if you had the choice to save a friend at the expense of someone else's life or let both of them get hurt, what would you do?"

Orihime was quiet; she could sense the gravity of this question and that depending on her response, it could be beneficial or detrimental for Ichigo. Finally, she softly said, "I would save both of them."

She giggled a bit at his startled expression and began fiddling with the blanket on his bed while she explained, "All the people I care about, they're so strong. If there was someone I could save with my own power, then I would and if it endangered my friend's life, I would just remind myself that they're strong and that they'll pull through no mater what."

Her hands clenched a bit and a small blush adorned her face as she said shyly, "If it was Kurosaki-kun, then I have no doubts that both the friend and the stranger would be alright since you would trust the friend to protect you while you protect the weaker person."

She was still flushing a little but she steadily met his gaze as she stated, "Kurosaki-kun is really strong but sometimes even strong people have to rely on the strengths of others in order to reduce the number of potential casualties. One person can save another's life, two people can save multiple. And with all the strong friends Kurosaki-kun has, I really feel that he and the others could save as many people as they want to."

And like a puzzle, everything fell into place once he found the missing piece as suddenly, his mom's words made so much more sense. The determination in his eyes returned full force as he said, "Thanks Inoue, you really helped me out."

Even though she didn't know exactly how, she saw the dwindling flame in him blaze into a roaring fury and she was just glad that she was able to help somehow. "You're welcome Kurosaki-kun."

They talked easily after that about miscellaneous topics while they ate the food Ulquiorra had surprisingly enough made and that Gin brought until it was time for Orihime to return to her room. She gave him another hug before saying,

"I don't know why Kurosaki-kun but it looks like you're not troubled anymore and that makes me happier than anything else. If you ever need anything, I'll be there even if I have to fight tooth and nail to do it."

Ichigo briefly wondered when she had gotten so strong and how he hadn't noticed as he gave her a bigger smile and replied, "Same here Inoue. I'll go through hell and back if you ever need my help."

They shared one final glance before she left, lead away by the stoic Ulquiorra. Gin, who was standing near Ichigo, smiled even more than usual and asked mischievously, "Somethin' tells me Aizen-sama's gonna have a tough case on his hands soon~"

Ichigo smirked, defiance and new-found confidence boosting his reiatsu and making the jewel containing his reiatsu glow brighter than ever as he replied, "Hell yeah."

* * *

><p>AN: Whew longest chappie yet I think~ Ichi hasn't given up yet so Aizen's gonna be in for a surprise XD Look forward to Ichi's response to Aizen in the next chapter!

* * *

><p>The ever anticipated… Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Death and Hugs_

Before he could say anything else, she threw her arms around him and sobbed, "I'm so glad Kurosaki-kun, I thought for a moment that Aizen-san had done something to you! You were tossing and turning and no matter what Gin-san and I did, you wouldn't wake up…"

Ichigo's face was slowly turning bluer as Orihime began rambling on about how she nearly had a panic attack when he didn't wake up, and how she had missed him these past few days, etc.

"Oi, woman."

She blinked and looked at Grimmjow in confusion as his eye twitched in irritation.

"Oh Grimmjow! I didn't know you were in this scene…"

He scoffed and snapped, "I ain't but somebody needs to tell you that you're suffocatin' Ichi over there."

She blinked rapidly before glancing at the now near-death Ichigo.

"Oh my goodness Kurosaki-kun, I'm so sorry! Please don't die!"

And she promptly grabbed him in other "hug" aka choke hold and proceeded to cut off his oxygen supply.

"This is why I can't stand women when they're PMS-ing" Grimmjow grumbled.

_Joys of Innocence_

They shared one final glance before she left, lead away by the stoic Ulquiorra. Gin, who was standing near Ichigo, smiled even more than usual and asked mischievously,

"How'd it feel ta have a nice young lady's body pressed against ya you lucky kid?"

And then he fled.

Once he processed what Gin had said, Ichigo sputtered and turned multiple brilliant shades of red before chasing after, shouting, "Follow the damn script you stupid perverted fox!"

The rest of the crew was torn between irritation at all the mishaps during the scenes and amusement at Ichigo's shy and very innocent nature.

Poor Ichi :D He's so much fun to tease~ TBC!


	6. The Answer: Newfound Resolve

Whoops, realized there was a slight contradiction here and in a later chapter. I worked with it a bit so it more or less matches later. Sorry about that ^^

* * *

><p>"Aren't ya gonna go see Berry-tan?"<p>

Aizen sipped the tea Gin had poured him and just ever so slightly grimaced; Gin might be an absolute genius when it came to combat but in terms of making something as simple as tea, he failed spectacularly, unless it was that one specific type of tea that actually tasted quite good. Unfortunately, they reserved it for only very special moments since obtaining some of the ingredients was quite difficult and he had no desire to test any experimentations Gin decided to do on it.

Smoothly covering his slip-up, Aizen replied, "I figured it would be more pleasant to have our discussion during breakfast so I was merely waiting for you to finish… cooking." His slight pause went unnoticed as Gin said cheerily, "Well then it's a good thing I'm done~ Everythin' is all set up on the table already so I'll go fetch Berry-tan!"

Why did Gin always look so pleased with his concoctions when he should have noticed that typically anyone who actually consumed it aside from himself became ill momentarily. There were a few extreme cases but they were few and far in between. Now that he thought about it though, he probably shouldn't have subjected the boy to such a life-threatening ordeal like the other man's cooking. But before he could tell Gin he had changed his mind, the silver-haired man was already heading off to get their "guest."

'_Ah well, I'm sure that if he can survive numerous near-death incidents then a little bit of slightly inedible food won't do much harm.'_

Letting his mind wander, he idly wondered how the boy would respond to his offer. True he was extremely unpredictable and tended to upset his carefully laid out plans, but he was also a naive child compared to the hardened shinigamis; perhaps if he was cornered and then presented a chance to save his precious loved ones, he might be more complacent and less disruptive. He really didn't want to have to kill someone with so much potential simply because they didn't know when to give up.

His thoughts were disrupted when he heard Gin's fast footsteps already returning and someone stumbling after. An amused glint entered his eyes. Yes, Gin's unnatural energetic nature tended to throw many off especially since he enjoyed starting the days at ungodly hours. Kurosaki-kun must have still been sleeping when his student barged in and dragged him out of bed.

His theory was confirmed when the two walked in, Gin looking as if he'd been up for hours while the person he was dragging looked to be still partially asleep. Even more amusing, it seemed Gin had taken the chance to get the boy to change his clothes in his semi-lethargic state. He was now wearing the customary white clothes of Hueco Mundo and Aizen privately mused that they suited him, more so than the shinigami robes.

The gem on the collar glinted and, as expected of Gin's fashion tastes, the collar itself complimented the boy's clothes perfectly. His outfit resembled a reversed version of his bankai outfit with minor differences: it had a high collar and the sleeves were long and flared out towards the bottom, almost covering his hands entirely with only his fingertips peeking out at the ends.

One of the covered arms lifted as Ichigo drowsily tried to wipe away the sleep from his eyes and Aizen found himself suddenly captivated by the unintentional perfect picture of pure innocence.

'_Interesting… the white clothes seem to draw out and emphasize the untainted purity he has. It's quite adorable…'_

…

'_I do believe I drank too much of Gin's tea, I'm starting to have strange thoughts.'_

While he was having a mild internal argument, Ichigo became more awake as he grumpily said, "When you said we were going to talk in the morning, I thought you meant a more sane time. I can't tell squat what time it is since it's perpetually night here but my internal clock says its way too damn early to be eating breakfast."

Breaking off his thoughts, Aizen found himself once again fascinated by the incredible accuracy of such a young person's instinct.

"Your 'clock' is correct. If we were to go by the Human World's time, right now it would be 4:26 a.m. and before you get upset, let me explain. Gin is a… very early morning person; he wakes up at strange hours and then wakes everyone else once he gets bored."

Ichigo tried to give Gin an irritated glare but deflated when he saw the rainbows and sunshine that sparkled around him. Aizen understood that feeling; he himself had tried to get angry at Gin multiple times and then return to bed only to end up staying awake along with the infuriating yet somehow enjoyable man.

Gin pouted at his words and claimed, "I don't wake up _everybody_. It's next to impossible ta wake Stark up at any given time an' Lilinette kicks me when I try. And Harribel's so scary~ Everyone else is more or less okay… but now I'll have Berry-tan ta bug too!"

Giving him a withering look, Ichigo subdued a yawn before sitting down and looking at the table of… food. The table itself looked quite nice, a smooth reddish-brown with a clean white tablecloth over it. The food on the other hand, looked like a burnt version of Orihime's culinary experiments.

For several long minutes, he just scrutinized the strange substances, trying to determine what the majority were. He managed to identify fruits that were professionally chopped, porridge that looked more like diarrhea, and what looked to be a poisonous tea-like liquid in the tea cups.

"What… is that?" he finally asked, looking at a particularly unpleasant, _glowing _lumpy thing that vaguely resembled the shape of a pancake. Gin looked very proud of himself as he replied, "Scrambled eggs!"

Aizen had to give his own incredulous look at the man since he had been almost positive it had to have been a bread of some kind. Ichigo quirked an eyebrow before saying hesitantly, "Um, Gin? Scrambled eggs aren't supposed to look so… flat. And for that matter, they're not supposed to be so neon yellow either."

_"It looks radioactive"_ was the subtle message he was trying to convey.

Both felt extremely worried when Gin frowned a bit and asked, "They're not? How odd, the cookbook said they were supposed ta be."

"What cookbook is he looking at?" was what Ichigo's expression said and Aizen was more than inclined to agree with his questioning. There was a small hope that Gin would take the hint that Ichigo was not really looking forward to eating and would remove the dishes but alas, Gin just gave them expectant smiles as he happily said, "Well no need ta hold back on my account! Go ahead an' eat an' chat, I'll just be tendin' to other business~"

And like a flash, he was gone, leaving the two victims to warily stare at the undoubtedly indigestible food in a bit of a more tense atmosphere than when their cook had been present. Aizen hadn't moved to try the food which indicated he was waiting for Ichigo to decide his next action before they started talking.

Briefly thinking about throwing the food out a window or something, Ichigo huffed out a small sigh before grabbing the plate of fruit, the only edible food, and taking a bunch of apple slices. Aizen granted him some peace to do that but once he set the plate back down, he began speaking.

"And how are you enjoying your stay so far?"

The body across from him stiffened a bit before a tanned hand lifted a silver fork and knife and began cutting the apple slices into bite-sized pieces. As he cut, Ichigo sharply snapped, "Quit making it sound like I'm here because I want to be. No matter how comfortable I am, a cage is still a cage and my status as a prisoner won't change."

An amused smirk briefly flashed on Aizen's face.

'_It appears that the boy still has some fight in him.'_

Taking another sip of his tea, he replied easily, "True enough I suppose. Did you enjoy your time with Ms. Inoue then?"

A vicious stab with the fork at one of the pieces of fruit could be heard as a piercing glare was directed at him. The youth hissed, "Quit dancing around with your words and just spit out whatever you wanted to say. I don't think you sent Gin to get me just for idle chatter."

Aizen debated on whether to reprimand him for his rather rude tone but decided to let it slide, finding the defiance strangely appealing since it colored the otherwise monotonous life in Hueco Mundo. Grimmjow sometimes disobeyed but even the disruptions he caused were few and far in between and things always got dull unless he was talking to Gin.

He set his cup down before giving the impatient boy across from him his full attention as he lightly stated, "You already know what I want to say, all I'm waiting for is your response."

Ichigo was eating the little pieces of fruit and it seemed he was clearing up any last minute doubts about his decision. Aizen was satisfied to let him have as long as he wanted when his guest's voice rang clearly from his end of the table.

"No."

Aizen blinked at the rather blunt and abrupt statement, so thrown off that he asked, "I beg your pardon?" Blazing confident brown eyes looked at him directly as Ichigo repeated, "I said no. I'm not going to accept your offer." Raising an eyebrow, Aizen pressed for more, "Even if I sent my entire army to attack the Human World right now?"

_'Why are you so positive? Just yesterday, yo were on the verge of breaking down yet now you don't show even the slightest of doubts.'_

The unwavering look didn't even lose a bit of its certainty as Ichigo responded with absolute surety, "Then the shinigamis would stop you." Now amusement filtered into his expression once more as Aizen countered, "Even if they were stronger than before, they can't win. And even if they could, they wouldn't be able to save all the humans. Your precious family would be in danger."

_'Give in.'_

_'Break.'_

Eating the last bit of the fruit on his plate, Ichigo was silent before he said with a hint of finality, "It's not a matter of whether they can or can't do it." When Aizen just waited, he continued, "If everything people did was based on whether their goals were possible or not, then very few things would be accomplished. Which is why in situations like these," a brazen smirk of his own, "You do what you have to do. The shinigamis know I'll kick their asses if anyone gets hurt under their watch so they'll win. That's all there is to it."

"And on what grounds make you think that line of reasoning will work? Most of it is foolish wishful thinking coming from a child whose very naive to the brutal reality of war."

Finally, the sure look was gone but it wasn't replaced by uncertainty, only a hint of disappointment. "I know they won't be able to win without any sacrifices, I'm not that stupid. But..." Now, there was a shadow of pain in his eyes as though what he would say next hurt more than anything else.

"No matter what, they won't let a single innocent person who isn't involved in the war die even if it means they have to die in their place. That is one of their forms of pride. If I accepted your offer, then I would be basically saying their pride means nothing and for them, that would be worse than dying in battle."

Ichigo didn't meet Aizen's gaze as he said softly but firmly, "I won't betray them because I want to be selfish. I will give them the burden of protecting my town and my family and in return, I'll bear the responsibility of not doing anything to prevent their deaths."

Briefly closing his eyes, he gave Aizen a defiant look and stated, "You heard my answer. I won't ever join you so forget about the idea, you'd be better off just killing me."

Aizen remained impassive as he studied the strange person he had underestimated once again. Where there had been a reckless hot-headed child was now a young man making a decision most people wouldn't have made given the short time frame for contemplation and the gravity of the things involved. And not only was it difficult to make but he had backed it with strong albeit idealistic reasons that wouldn't let him be swayed.

He honestly couldn't say whether he was actually irritated or just even more intrigued than ever before.

A/N: In case it wasn't already obvious, the beginning is going to be relatively light with tense moments being the only problems. Things will start changing after a few more chapters so look forward to it~

The beloved part we've all been holding our breath for... Deleted Scenes!

_Of Poisonous Dishes and Off-hand Remarks_

For several long minutes, Ichigo just scrutinized the strange substances, trying to determine what the majority were. He managed to identity fruits that were professionally chopped, porridge that looked more like diarrhea, and appeared to be a poisonous tea-like liquid in the tea cups.

What... is that?" he finally asked looking at a particularly unpleasant, _glowing _lumpy thing that vaguely resembled the shape of a pancake.

Gin looked at it for a while and after a long pregnant pause, cheerfully announced, "I... Have absolutely no idea!"

Ichigo proceeded to choke the life out of him for attempting to food poison them.

"It's edible! Maybe... I think... ya might get a wee bit sick."

As Ichigo strangled him some more, Aizen muttered thoughtfully, "I suppose I wouldn't mind getting sick so long as Kurosaki-kun takes care of me..." Gin nodded vigorously and said, "See? Aizen-taicho understands!"

The sound of two flying plates meeting the heads of two unfortunate souls could be heard as the blushing teen stormed out.

_More Unfortunate Tales of Poisonous Cooking_

Taking another sip of his tea, he replied easily, "True enough I suppose. Did you enjoy your time with Ms. Inoue then?"

A vicious stab with the fork at one of the pieces of fruit could be heard as a piercing glare was directed at him.

"No and I blame you for that. She somehow managed to sneak in this weird taco thing with peanut-butter and ice-cream with a topping of oreos and leeks. And there was a dipping that consisted of friggin' alfredo pasta sauce with anchovies and sweet and sour sauce mixed together!"

So that's why he looked so pale after that scene ended..."


	7. The New Game: Confusion

Ichigo was half-expecting to get killed right then and there or be given to Grimmjow to get mauled by. What he wasn't expecting was for Aizen to simply say, "Very well" before going back to drinking his tea. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel relieved that he was still alive or suspicious because, well, he was still alive.

'And people say I'm hard to understand…'

"_Ya ain't hard ta understand aibou, yer just complicated."_

'What's the diff-'

"_Now this guy, he's hard ta understand. Probably has ADD or bipolar issues."_

Ichigo coughed to cover up the snort of laughter that escaped him before quickly taking a sip of the tea… only to nearly choke in his hurry to spit it back out. "What the hell is in here?" he demanded, wiping his mouth with one of the napkins.

Aizen examined the liquid in his cup before idly guessing, "I believe there appears to be… kiwi, grass, garlic, shredded pieces of a maple leaf and… cactus juice? Where in the world did he find that?"

'And he's _drinking_ it?'

"_Practice makes perfect aibou. Either that or it destroys yer taste buds. Why don't ya cook fer him instead, got plenty of practice from yer little sis."_

'… Fuck off Shiro.'

Ignoring the insane cackle resounding in his mind, he hastily started getting up and said, "Can I leave? I uh, suddenly lost my appetite." Not looking offended by his rush to depart, Aizen set his cup down and stood up as well before saying, "Very well then. Since Gin is occupied at the moment, I will escort you back to your room."

Ichigo was about to say he didn't need an "escort" since he couldn't do squat without his reiatsu or Zangetsu anyway when he remembered all the confusing twists and turns Gin had led him through in order to reach this room. The chances of getting lost? 100%. Deflating, he reluctantly followed Aizen silently and as they strode through the intricate hallways, tried to but eventually gave up on memorizing the way.

When they arrived at his room, Ichigo was about to go in but paused, curiosity and a bit of anxiety eating away at him. Turning, he warily asked, "I'm not going to get stabbed in my sleep am I?" He found himself surprised by the genuine confusion in Aizen's eyes as he explained, "I'm not going to join you so shouldn't you get me out of your way?"

'Actually, why the hell am I reminding him?'

"_Ya've got a secret death wish aibou."_

Telling Shiro to "put a sock in it," he focused on waiting for Aizen's response and trying to read his expression although he found that the latter was a far more confusing experience than trying to understand his thought process. It looked like a thousand different things flickered in the man's eyes at once before they regained their composed blank neutrality.

Keeping his voice oddly blank, Aizen replied, "No, I won't kill you." There was a pregnant pause as he looked at Ichigo calculatingly which made him shift uncomfortably. An amused look suddenly entered his eyes, like he had just come up with an interesting idea, and Ichigo had a distinct feeling he would have rather been killed than hear what he had to say as the man said almost casually, "You've intrigued me to a degree I've never thought possible and it would be rather dull if I simply killed you."

A hand lightly brushed his cheek as Aizen had suddenly gotten really close within the blink of an eye and Ichigo barely resisted the urge to step back or bat the hand away. Ignoring his obvious discomfort, Aizen bent down a bit and murmured into his ear, "I've decided that I will make you join me willingly even if it means using your lack of 'experience' against you."

Ichigo shuddered before shoving Aizen away, heat rising into his face as well as a healthy dose of bewilderment. "Wh- You- What the hell are you saying?"

Aizen smirked before stating, "Exactly what it sounds like. I will use any means necessary to bend you to my will." As expected, Ichigo didn't recognize the subtle meaning in his words and he used that to his advantage.

Phrasing his new plan in a way that would seem acceptable and devoid of any ulterior motives to Ichigo, he said, "Consider this a game of sorts; I will use any method other than threatening your friends and family to try to get you to join me and you may do whatever it takes to resist for… let's say two weeks. If you don't give in, you win and I will stop trying to convince you. I don't think you need me to explain what will happen should you lose."

Ichigo hesitated so Aizen made the offer even more tempting, "If you win, I will also let Miss Inoue return to the Human World alive and unharmed." That erased any doubts Ichigo had and he readily said "Deal," a determined glint in his eye.

"_Aibou… that wasn't a good idea. He's got you, hook line and sinker."_

'What are you talking about? This works in my favor; all I have to do is ignore anything he says or does and I'll win. How hard can this be?'

"_Aibou."_

"Yeah?"

"_Yer an idiot and you suck at pickin' up innuendos."_

'Oi, I'm not an idiot! And what do you mean innu-"

He was yanked out of his mental conversation when a hand grasped his waist and pulled him forward while another lifted his face up before a pair of lips pressed against his in a delicate but very real kiss.

'…'

'Eh?'

Aizen swiftly took advantage of his surprise, slipping his tongue through his slightly parted lips and deepening the kiss. Ichigo couldn't suppress the small moan that forced its way out when he felt the other man's tongue caress his own in teasing, slow sensuous movements.

It was only when he hazily opened his eyes and remembered exactly who was kissing him that he began frantically trying to pull away. He attempted to jerk his head back but Aizen kept a firm grasp on his chin that prevented him from doing so. Next, he tried pushing him away with his hands. Unfortunately, without his reiatsu, he wasn't as strong as usual and it actually didn't matter much anyway since Aizen easily held him close enough so that he couldn't effectively swing his arms and do any real damage.

His efforts became more panicked as he searched his mind desperately for another means of escape, panicking even more when all he came up with was an empty blank.

"_Aibou ya idiot, don't ya know any friggin' self defense in these situations? Bite his tongue!"_

The advice jolted him into action and he bit down, causing the other man to wince slightly and pull away. He immediately stumbled back, putting some distance between them as he covered his mouth with his hand, panting harshly and flushing a brilliant scarlet.

When he felt he could speak properly without stuttering, he managed to exclaim between pants, "What… the hell… were you doing?"

Testing his tongue and checking to see it wasn't bleeding profusely, Aizen easily replied, "Come now Kurosaki-kun, can't you tell? I'm sure that even with your limited experience you know what a kiss is."

Embarrassment mixing with anger, he snapped, "Of course I know what a kiss is! I'm asking why the hell you kissed me!" Raising an eyebrow, Aizen replied with his own question, "You agreed to the terms I proposed did you not?" Looking at him in confusion at first, Ichigo's face slowly paled in realization as Aizen continued, "The only thing I said I couldn't do was threaten your loved ones. Seduction," a victorious smirk, "is not against the rules."

_Now_ Shiro's words made sense and he cursed himself for not realizing this sooner since he had basically just given the evil bastard new leverage over him, one that was sadly far outside of his field of expertise. He knew even less than his younger sisters about this sort of thing and the fact that he had an incredibly sensitive body really didn't help. This was why he hated having too much body contact with anybody even if it was just a hug.

Now he had a person on his hands that would do more than just an innocent hug or a casual handshake and that freaked him out more than anything. Hell, he'd rather Aizen beat him to a pulp than touch him for longer than fifteen seconds.

'Goddammit, how do I get myself into these crappy situations?'

"_Cause yer an idiot."_

He really couldn't deny that so instead he asked Shiro, 'What are the odds that I can get past him and into my room where I can hopefully lock him out?'

"_What the hell are you, a little girl with a scary predator in the house?"_

'Yes! Girl comment aside, that pretty much sums up my predicament!'

"_Okay yer right, that's actually pretty accurate. But the fuck will hiding in yer room do? Ain't the lock on the outside of the door anyway?"_

…

'Fuck.'

Despite knowing the ineffectiveness hiding in his room would be, he still tried to rush past the pervert and into the safety of his room but Aizen effortlessly caught him and held him in place.

There was a moment of silence as if the bastard was surprised he was scared before he spoke with a hint of reassurance to the now slightly trembling body in his arms, "I won't do anything that you are truly against; remember, my goal isn't to terrify you, it's to sway your mind so that you will join me. However, if you react the way you did to my kiss then I will know which actions are safe to do."

Realizing that Ichigo was only partly listening, he pulled him closer and made him look at his eyes so he would see the sincerity of his words as he said, "I will refrain from bothering you for the rest of the day since I have many other things that require my attention so calm yourself. I will see you at dinner later this evening."

It looked like there was something else he wanted to say but instead, he pulled away from the petrified teen and let him go. The second he was free, Ichigo darted into his room and slammed it shut, leaning against it and staying pensive until he heard the man walk away.

It wasn't until a few minutes after the sounds of footsteps completely vanished that he finally let out a shuddering breath and slid down onto the ground, using the door as a back rest.

Curling into a ball and resting his head against his knees, he cursed the unexpected change in his circumstances. He didn't want the bastard to touch him least of all sensually and he adamantly told himself that he was the enemy, that this was wrong on so many levels, and that he had to figure out a way to get out of here.

His near hysteric mind failed to recognize the small, almost unnoticeable part of him that secretly wanted to feel Aizen's lips on his once more.

* * *

><p>AN: Confusion and surprises galore! How will our poor strawberry react to Aizen's advances and understand his new emotions? And what will Aizen do when he realizes his feelings aren't purely apathetic? Look forward to the next chapter~ And keep the reviews coming!

* * *

><p>Last but never the least, Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Joys of a Virgin_

_Now_ Shiro's words made sense and he cursed himself for not realizing this sooner since he had basically just given the evil bastard new leverage over him, one that was sadly far outside of his field of knowledge. He knew even less than his younger sisters about this sort of thing and the fact that he had an incredibly sensitive body really didn't help.

The sounds of multiple people tripping and crashing into things could be heard in the background as Rukia, who was acting as the director, shouted for a cut.

Ichigo was absolutely baffled while Shiro was irritated as the albino snapped, "The fuck midget? We were doin' fine!"

Rukia as well as many others rounded on his poor counterpart and asked in disbelief, "Your _younger_ sisters know more about sex than you?"

Turning sixteen different shades of red, Ichigo spluttered as Karin said flatly, "Yup, he's more of a virgin than Yuzu and that's really saying something."

"... Ichigo, ya better get someone to give you The Talk before you do the nasty with Aizen" Renji said with a serious tone. Everyone nodded in agreement at the wise piece of advice.

Ichigo responded by chucking multiple attacks at them out of sheer embarrassment.

_Where Are We?_

Ichigo was about to say he didn't need an "escort" since he couldn't do squat without his reiatsu or Zangetsu anyway when he remembered all the confusing twists and turns Gin had led him through in order to reach this room. The chances of getting lost? 100%. Deflating, he reluctantly followed Aizen silently and as they strode through the intricate hallways, tried to but eventually gave up on memorizing the way.

After a while of walking, Ichigo started getting more and more confused. Had it really taken this long to go from his room to the room he had eaten in with Aizen? He hesitantly asked the older man, "Uh Aizen? Are we going off the script or something? I don't think we were supposed to walk for this long..."

"We are taking a small... detour so that we can enjoy the... complexity of the hallways of Las Noches."

...

"Why can't you just say we're lost?"


	8. UlquiHime: Hurt

Ichigo was upset.

Orihime couldn't sense his reiatsu but she could feel something nagging inside, telling her that he was troubled and that it was different from when she had last seen him. Twisting her hands in her lap, she bit her lip and wished she could see him again if only to figure out what was wrong.

While it was true she could usually tell when one of her friends was distressed, she had never been able to sense it when she hadn't been face-to-face with them. The fact she could sense Ichigo's distraught state despite being in different locations meant that he must be extremely bothered by something.

Large doe gray eyes slid shut as she inwardly berated herself for being so helpless.

'_Why is it that even now I can't help Kurosaki-kun when he needs it most?'_

Looking at her hands, she wondered what good she was if she couldn't even help the person who meant more to her than anyone else. She wasn't stupid; she knew that even if she harbored affections for him, it didn't mean she could solve whatever was bothering him.

But there was a thin strand of hope that she _would_ be able to do something, and that then he would acknowledge her as more than a friend that always needed to be saved, that she was reliable and could be depended on. She knew he never thought of her as weak but there was no denying that the number of times he had saved her was innumerable while the number of times she had saved him could be counted on one hand.

Her hands closed into fists as she looked down at them sadly.

'_I'm no good at all am I? Even though I'm Kurosaki-kun's only ally in this place and we're only a few hallways apart, I can't do anything.'_

She could hear the quiet murmurs of her fairy-like friends telling her that considering the current situation, no one could do any more than what she had already done. A wane smile ghosted on her lips and she quietly thanked them for their support but it was a half-hearted response at best and it didn't pull her out of her self-hatred.

But their murmurings persisted and eventually Tsubaki's voice rose above the rest.

"_Dammit woman, stop feeling so sorry for yourself! If you want something then do whatever it takes to do it! If you want to see the brat then by the gods, demand that emo-hollow to take you to him!"_

Shifting a bit on her bed, she mumbled softly, "Tsubaki, that won't work, Ulquiorra won't let me see him. And besides," her eyes grew downcast again, "I can't do anything to help Kurosaki-kun anyway."

_"Don't say that until you've tried."_

She wished things were as easy as he made it sound but it wasn't and she argued, "I'm not Kuchiki-san, I can't cheer him up with just words like she can. I can only make him feel temporarily better. I-"

"... I can't help him." She was now twisting the cloth of her clothes, creating wrinkles that she dimly knew she would have to smooth out later but she was more anxious about how Tsubaki would respond_.  
><em>

"… _Were you always this weak?"_

Orihime flinched at the harsh comment she had been sort of anticipating as she inwardly wondered that herself. She always tried to be useful in battle but it never seemed like she actually did anything. And even if it wasn't battle-related she couldn't do much.

_"But there is something only you can do for the brat especially right now."_

Orihime shook her head; no matter how she looked at the situation, there was nothing she could do that would help. She smiled bitterly at the extent of her weak capabilities. She had always depended on others which was why up until now, she couldn't do anything for anyone else or even for herself. She hadn't even been able to muster up the courage to tell Ichigo about her feelings for him despite wanting him for so long.

"_Then tell him now."_

Her head jerked up, long orange hair swirling around her before settling back down along her back as her eyes widened in disbelief. "Tsubaki what are you talking about? That would just make more unnecessary trouble for Kurosaki-kun" she argued, cheeks tinted red with embarrassment as her voice rose a pitch. But the fairy pressed on, refusing to let his master continue to wallow in self-pity.

"_Use your head idiot! Think about it for a minute; if something happened that made you really upset and the foremost thing you can think of is that you're surrounded by enemies, wouldn't you want some sort of comfort that there's at least one person who loves you? Who actually gives a damn about whether you're alive or dead, happy or sad? Who will lend you their support when no one else will?" _

_"Even if it seems completely out of the blue, wouldn't you want someone to tell you that they loved you?"_

Orihime opened her mouth to object but then paused and carefully thought about what he had said.

_'If someone told me they loved me wouldn't it make me feel at least a bit better despite being in a difficult and complicated situation?'_

_'Isn't it better to know you're loved than to feel like you're alone?'_

His words finally sank in and Orihime felt as if something had broke, like she was no longer being held down by the chains of despair and uncertainty. There was more than just gratefulness towards Tsubaki, she could also feel a sense of calmness and resolution she didn't have before and she now understood how Ichigo must have felt whenever the fire inside him had been rekindled.

"Thank you Tsubaki."

There was a huff of embarrassed irritation before his voice faded. Reaching up and pulling her hair clips from her hair, she gently cradled them against her chest and murmured, "Thank you, all of you."

Looking at them fondly one more time, she slid them back into place before standing up and striding purposefully towards her door.

She had something to do even if it meant getting hurt in the process because she was sure that her feelings were only one-sided. Her pace almost faltered but she quickly steadied herself.

_'I can't back out because I want to be selfish. If he doesn't feel the same way, then so be it.'_

Lightly placing her hand against her door, she called, "Excuse me? Can whoever is out there find Ulquiorra for me? I need to speak with him."

Knowing that one of the two guards would summon him, she returned to the bed and straightened it out a bit before she also smoothed out the wrinkles in her clothes. Once this was all done, she stood in the middle of her room and gazed towards the window outside, waiting patiently while gathering her courage for the confrontation.

It wasn't long before the door to her room opened with a soft creak and a familiar cold voice spoke.

"What is it you wished to speak about woman?"

Forcing the small nervousness she felt fluttering inside her chest away, she turned and met the emerald green eyes she had become accustomed to seeing. Putting as much strength into her voice as possible, she demanded, "Let me see Kurosaki-kun." Her brazen command seemed to have caught him off-guard since a flicker of something flashed in his eyes before it was replaced by the usual impassiveness.

"Denied."

He apparently thought she would give up since he turned around again but she grabbed his arm before stating, "I'm sorry Ulquiorra but I won't take no as an answer." He glanced down at her hand with an indifferent look and she knew he could feel her slight trembling which made her a bit more nervous about his reaction.

He could have easily broken from her grasp, could have punished her for the obvious impudence, but instead he settled with a cold glare that frightened even the fighting-happy quinta espada. She was undoubtedly frightened but defiance blazed in her eyes as she evenly matched his gaze with her own and refused to back down despite the small tremors her body insisted on doing.

Apparently, he was surprised again since the look in his eyes eased up just a bit from their former harsh glint. He silently gazed down at her before inquiring, "Why should I permit you to see him when you met just the other night? Are you that desperate for some security?"

Orihime narrowed her eyes a bit at the implied insult but more so out of confusion.

_'Why does he sound almost bitter?_'

Quickly focusing on the issue again, she replied, "There's something I need to tell him and the sooner he hears what I have to say, the better. Let me see him." There was another strange look that flashed in his eyes and Orihime would almost swear that it had been something similar to jealousy. Before she could analyze it any further, he started speaking in a purposefully condescending tone, trying to test her patience, "There's nothing you can say that will have any effect on him."

But she refused to rise to his bait. Instead, she countered by saying, "The words of a friend will always have an effect on him because that's the sort of person he is- kind and compassionate. If you refuse to let me see him," a hard glint entered her eyes as they filled with unwavering determination, "then I will ask Aizen-san."

Any thought that she was joking disappeared when he saw her unyielding look. Orihime was well aware that Ulquiorra was for whatever reason spiteful towards Ichigo and that was the only thing standing between her seeing him so she was fully prepared to demand Aizen to let her even if it meant she had to beg for it. She knew that Ulquiorra wouldn't want to bother his lord with such a trivial matter and she also knew that if Aizen did give her permission, then Ulquiorra would have to obey. It was a rather risky gamble since there was no guarantee that Aizen would allow her visit either but she hoped the espada wouldn't call her bluff.

There was a tense pause as they tried staring each other down again, neither noticing that the fear Orihime's body had been displaying all but vanished leaving only a determined and strong-willed woman in its wake. It was possible that Ulquiorra sensed the small change because he finally acquiesced to her request, "Very well but you will only have fifteen minutes. Make it quick."

Orihime blinked at the unexpected capitulation before she gave the stoic espada a bright happy smile and exclaimed, "Thank you Ulquiorra!" The stoic Cuarta didn't respond but instead, started walking away so she hurried after him, her thoughts solely centered on helping Ichigo.

It would be quite a while until she learned that that was the moment when Ulquiorra felt something akin to pleasure for the first time. It also wouldn't be until after they shared numerous intimate moments that Ulquiorra told her that her confession to Ichigo had hurt more than anything he had ever felt before.

* * *

><p>AN: So this wasn't exactly UlquiHime but it's getting there! Things will start changing between them soon so no worries to all UlquiHime fans. And the relationship between Orihime and Ichigo will be strictly friend maybe sibling based so don't expect any IchiHime unless its one-sided. Anyhoo, keep the reviews coming~

* * *

><p>And of course Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Embarassment_

Orihime blinked at the unexpected capitulation before she gave the stoic espada a bright happy smile and exclaimed, "Thank you Ulquiorra!" The stoic Cuarta didn't respond but instead, he just blinked.

Orihime wondered if this was in the script as she waved her hand in front f his face and asked, "Ulquiorra? Are you alright?"

Silence.

Nel, who had been given permission to watch the scene, giggled and said in what she thought was a quiet voice but was in actuality quite loud "Nel thinks Ulqui ith stunned into silenth by Hime's pwetty smile!" No one disagreed.

_Of Love Problems and Cheating_

"_Use your head idiot! Think about it for a minute; if something happened that made you really upset and the foremost thing you can think of is that you're surrounded by enemies, wouldn't you want some sort of comfort that there's at least one person who loves you? Who actually gives a damn about whether you're alive or dead, happy or sad? Who will lend you their support when no one else will?" _

_"You should hurry up and go declare your undying feelings for the lucky bastard! Some of us guys ain't so lucky and we get rejected all the time-"_

_"Tsubaki you liar! I didn't reject you, you were cheating on me!"_

_"Yeah she's right you two-timer! You declared your 'undying love' to both of us in the same day just at two different times!"_

_"I did no such thing!"_

As her fairies squabbled, Orihime blinked and asked the other actors in surprise, "Tsubaki's a womanizer?"

They fell over comically and their expressions all shared the same question: _Shouldn't you know about something like that?  
><em>


	9. Friendship: Questioning Emotions

Soft moonlight filtered through the window, illuminating the otherwise dark room Aizen was sitting in and the delicate cup of tea loosely held in his grasp. The light cast shadows that changed shape occasionally as the curtain sometimes blocked the moon but he paid no heed to them, his thoughts far more distracting than the dancing shades.

Aizen prided himself on being clever and he knew that if he wanted something, then it was highly likely that he would get it. He was not the sort of person to hesitate to use under-handed means to satisfy his whims and rarely did he let silly things like morals and emotions get in his way.

And yet… there was no denying that when a look of such terror displayed itself on the face of Kurosaki Ichigo, he had hesitated. He had even gone so far as to _reassure_ him if only to put the boy's mind at ease, a rarity he hadn't even thought possible until that moment. It almost seemed as if he cared whether or not he instilled fear in him, but such a foolish concept was impossible

Now, had that been the only dilemma he had then his recent odd actions could have been brushed off as simply a sadistic desire to not break the boy so soon. It would have made his life so much easier and his mind wouldn't be so clouded by ludicrous and pointless thoughts. Alas, to his dismay, something else had happened that made him re-evaluate exactly what he had gotten into when he made that seemingly simple deal.

It was only a mere half hour ago, when he had been observing Ichigo (not checking up on him mind you) in the security room via one of the large monitors. The boy had hidden himself beneath the covers on his bed and to an untrained eye, he would have appeared to be asleep. But Aizen had noticed the tensed shape of the covered body, had noticed that should an unwanted visitor enter, the boy would be more than willing to lash out. He was lying when he internally claimed to not be affected even the slightest by the sight but he was quite adept at tricking anybody, including himself, so he easily made his mind believe that he was proud to have caused such fear in the normally fearless shinigami.

He had been about to abandon the monitor screen in favor of getting more pressing work done since it didn't seem like Ichigo was going to move anytime soon when movement at the door of Ichigo's room caught his eye. Much to his surprise, it had been Ulquiorra along with the young lady Inoue Orihime. Interest newly piqued, he had settled back down to see what had caused his most subservient espada to do something without informing him beforehand.

Had he known watching would arise some complications that even he didn't comprehend much less know how to eliminate, then he would have left immediately.

* * *

><p><em>Almost as soon as he and Orihime stepped into the room, Ulquiorra excused himself and reminded the human girl of the time limit. Orihime softly thanked him as he left, before turning to face Ichigo who had yet to moved from his current position.<em>

_Confirming her uneasy feeling that he was troubled, she tentatively placed a delicate hand on what looked to be his shoulder and called his name. The mound twitched a bit but didn't do anything else and she was worried he was going to ignore her. To her relief, Ichigo finally lifted himself into a sitting position so he could see her, the blanket draped over his head and casting a shadow that highlighted his worse for wear state._

_His complexion was a bit paler than usual and messy orange hair that was wilder than normal fell into his exhausted honey brown eyes. A weak smile appeared on his face that was definitely forced as he struggled to regain composure so he could at least alleviate some of the concern evident in her eyes._

"_Hey Inoue. What are you doing here?"_

_The normally timid woman boldly raised her hand and touched his cheek gently as she murmured, "You look terrible Kurosaki-kun. Did something happen?" __Initially startled by her gesture, it took a moment for him to gather his scattered thoughts before he reassured her that nothing was wrong and that he was perfectly fine. __Biting her bottom lip lightly in mild frustration, she pulled away and simply stated, "Liar." Even Aizen was taken aback by her candid statement and both males only just registered her next words._

"_Kurosaki-kun, you always say you're alright but in this case, it's obvious you aren't." Clasping one of his hands in her smaller ones, she stared him straight in the eye and bluntly demanded, "Let me help you."_

_Ichigo looked like he was going to pull away and insist that he was fine but he apparently saw something in her eyes that prevented him from doing so. They had a small staring contest before Ichigo finally relented and mumbled out the deal he had unintentionally made with Aizen, admitting that this was beyond his area of expertise which frightened him._

_Throughout his talking, Orihime stayed silent, observing him without any judgment or revulsion in her eyes which made it easier for him to let everything out. When he was done, she squeezed his hand comfortingly before saying, "Kurosaki-kun, this isn't something I can directly help you with. If I could take your place, I would do it in a heartbeat but I know that would only hurt you more so I won't. You will need to get through this without anyone physically backing you up."_

_Ichigo didn't say anything and his emotions were hidden by the bangs shadowing his eyes so moving her hands, she cupped his face and tilted it so she could see him clearly, a light blush coloring her cheeks at their close proximity and at what she was about to say._

_Taking a deep breath, she poured all her feelings into her voice and the words that spilled out of her mouth._

"_Kurosaki-kun, I love you."_

_Smiling a bit at his dumbfounded expression due to her admission, it eased the pain she knew was coming. She wasn't disappointed. When Ichigo could form a coherent sentence, he hesitantly said, "Inoue, you're really important to me too but I-" He looked so uncertain but she gave him an encouraging and understanding look so he finally finished by saying, "I don't like you in the same way."_

_Shoving away the mild disappointment and slight twisting feeling in her chest, she smiled sadly and replied, "I know." A confused look crossed his face as he started asking, "Then why did you-?"_

_She giggled a bit at his lost expression and stood up so she could wrap her arms around him in an affectionate hug. "Why did I tell you that if I knew I would be rejected? That should be obvious Kurosaki-kun. It's because I want you to know that I'm here so whenever you feel scared or even dirtied by the deal you and Aizen-san made," she reluctantly let go and crouched back down beside his bed with a smile, "just remember that I'll always be a few hallways away and that I will never abandon you. Even if I can't be your special someone, I'll at least have the joy of being one of your important supporters that will pull you to your feet when you fall down."_

_"I'm not Kuchiki-san and I'm not very good with words but I think it would be nice if you relied on me as a sibling. It hurts me to know you're hurting and you won't even talk to me about it. I'm your friend and friends help each other no matter what, right?"_

_Ichigo was speechless, mouth opened slightly as he once again, witnessed a display of his friend's strength. Finally, a real smile spread across his face and his tired eyes became filled with gratitude and love for the woman who had now become someone akin to a sister to him as he warmly said, "Thanks… Orihime."_

_If she was surprised that he used her first name, she didn't show it. Instead, she gave him a beaming smile and replied back, "You're welcome Ichigo."_

_It was then that the door opened again and Ulquiorra appeared, signifying the end to their heart-to-heart conversation. Orihime looked reluctant but she bid farewell to Ichigo before walking out, both humans looking more peaceful and even happier than before._

* * *

><p>When all this had happened, Aizen had felt a series of emotions that left him reeling. First was the surprise at the visit. Then it was a peculiar rage at the human girl when she declared her love, a feeling that was replaced by something scarily similar to relief when she was rejected. And then, when he had seen how happy the two were together and how they addressed each other with a new informal casualness, he had experienced something he never dreamed of feeling.<p>

Jealousy.

A hot, burning envy towards a woman who was so weak she could be killed in milliseconds by his hand. A feeling of jealousy towards a woman who had caused something he couldn't. She had made Ichigo smile that soft smile that brought a beautiful light to his eyes, a smile he was drawn to and yearned to see again. And even worse, she had something he didn't. She had his love and even if it would never escalate to romance, she still had an important spot in Ichigo's heart that he couldn't even begin to hope to obtain.

The sound of something breaking snapped Aizen out of his reverie, and he glanced down at his hand to see the cup of tea he had been drinking and forgotten about had shattered, tiny shards of glass pricking his skin and drawing small slivers of blood.

Easily using a small kido spell, he rid himself of the cuts before he stared down at the pieces of the once pretty cup. It was ironic really that an insignificant cup should represent the current circumstances so perfectly. He was trying to break the naïve substitute shinigami into pieces but each time he attempted to do so, he was the one who ended up receiving a twinge of pain that was effortlessly removed but still left behind a phantom pain.

But even if he was the one getting wounded, there was still the fact that he was chipping away at the meager defenses the boy had which inflicted a different sort of pain on him than what Aizen felt. With Inoue Orihime not only being his only friend here but also the one who comforted him, it was no wonder that he harbored such warmth towards her. In the end, a broken object would obviously like the person who repaired them and cherished them rather than the person who broke them and made them miserable.

A soft whisper breezed through his mind and he faintly heard the wise and tranquil voice of Kyōka Suigetsu, calling his name and trying to tell him something. He had grown so accustomed to ignoring her voice though that he simply brushed her off. After all, the only things she had to say were completely and utterly absurd.

Why in the world would he, Aizen Sousuke and soon-to-be-god, feel anything as foolish as affection for his technically arch-nemesis Kurosaki Ichigo? It was an outrageous thought and he firmly set his conscious to believe that and renewed his resolve to do everything he could to crush the boy- heart, will, and soul.

He persistently denied the small part of his mind that wondered if maybe, just maybe, he really was falling for someone he could never have and that the current path he was treading was only leading him closer to his own destruction.

* * *

><p>AN: Mwahaha, I finally got over my procrastination! Hopefully, I'll get the next chapter out sooner than it took for this one to come. Small note: I have absolutely no idea what gender Kyōka Suigetsu is but since it sounds sort of feminine, it shall be a she. Keep the reviews coming, all authors love 'em~ (^-^)

* * *

><p>Time for the beloved Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Body Parts_

Confirming her uneasy feeling that he was troubled, she tentatively placed a delicate hand on what looked to be his shoulder and called his name. The mound jerked and Ichigo shot up, a bright red blush coloring his face.

"Don't touch my ass you pervert- Eh? Inoue?"

Said girl blushed herself and promptly began bowing and apologizing frantically. While they tried to calm each other down, Urahara laughed in the background as he restrained the very angry and jealous Aizen from drawing his sword.

_Power of Jealousy_

The sound of something breaking snapped Aizen out of his reverie, and he glanced down at his hand to see that in one hand, he had a broken tea cup. In the other, he had snapped a piece of the wood table he had been sitting at due to the sheer strength of his clenching.

There was a pregnant pause before Rukia whispered to Renji since they were watching this scene, "Isn't that nii-sama's antique table that he spent months searching for only to find it at Urahara-san's shop where he then had to pay a ridiculous sum of money to buy it?"

"Yup."

"And then Yachiru-chan spilled some juice on it so he spent four pain-staking weeks wiping the sticky substance off without leaving a stain?"

"Yup."

"And then you spilled tea on it so nii-sama made you spar with him for a month with no holding back?"

"Don't remind me."

"And he finally swore that the next person who damaged it in any shape or form would be subject to execution by his hand?"

…

Renji closed his eyes before looking at Aizen and giving him a small wave, "Nice knowin' ya Aizen."


	10. Invasion: Beginning Attraction

Lying on his bed with one arm slung over his face, Ichigo felt extremely worn out. First there had been Aizen and his weird proposal and actions and then it was Orihime's surprise visit and her confession. That last one had really thrown him a loop; he hadn't even realized she liked him as more than a friend, something which made him feel a bit guilty for not noticing earlier.

Letting out a small exhale, he felt a fresh wave of gratitude for the strong-willed woman who had cleared his muddled mind twice now. _'How could she believe she's bad with words? She always says exactly what I need to hear.'_

Moving his arm and rolling onto his stomach, he considered his next course of action now that he wasn't nearly as bothered as before. Toying with one of the corners of his blanket, he thought about the deal, what it entailed, and how he should react to the smug pervert's advances. He certainly couldn't fall for Aizen's tricks since that was all his actions really were but…

An image flickered in his mind with startling clarity of Aizen and that strange, almost concerned look he had when he'd seen how badly shaken Ichigo was after being kissed. He remembered how the man had… comforted him in a way, given him some space and privacy to calm down.

'_Was that all really just acting? Or…'_

Unconsciously, he brought his hand up and lightly touched his lips, a small flush warming his cheeks as he recollected the explosion of emotion he had felt from the simple albeit rather passionate kiss.

Now Ichigo knew he was just being stupid. To feel anything other than hate or at the very least immense dislike for a power-hungry bastard was not only absurd but completely out of the question. So why did the strange fluttering feeling in his chest feel different from hate? And why were his instincts insisting that he had seen more than just a cruel detachment in Aizen's eyes when they met his? Why did he want to believe that he had seen something that could be defined as desire and some other emotion in his enemy's stare?

Orihime had helped clear his mind but now he was troubled by something entirely different from before. With his mind no longer clouded by fear and anxiety, he was beginning to see the events in an entirely different light that aroused a different sort of confusion that wasn't quite unpleasant. It was almost like he _wanted _to identify the new emotion yet at the same time, a part of him dreaded finding out. Huffing in irritation, he had a strong urge to throw a mini-tantrum if only to relieve some of his pent-up frustration. Why was the stupid situation so complicated?

Pulling himself up and getting off the bed, he decided that it was too much work trying to think up answers for all his questions on his own. Now that his frayed nerves were calmer, he felt less squeamish about confronting Aizen. If the bastard tried to cop a feel, Ichigo didn't care if he had his reiatsu sealed, he would find _some_ way to deck the man.

He was ready to bang on the door and demand someone to get Aizen, firmly resolved to obtain answers for questions he wasn't even sure how he was going to articulate, when it opened on its own and he nearly crashed into Gin's thin, tall frame.

"Whoa Berry-tan, you surprised me! What are you doin' standin' in front of the door? Were ya that anxious for company?" Holding his poor injured nose and wondering what the heck the former 3rd division captain was made of, Ichigo grumbled, "I surprised you? More like the other way around. And I was _not _desperate for company." Gin chuckled and invited himself in, the door sliding shut behind right after he stepped out of the door frame much to Ichigo's mild disappointment.

"What'd you come here for anyway?"

Gin tapped his chin thoughtfully as he wandered around the room before replying, "I'm actually lookin' for someone but she's MIA. I figured someone like you would enjoy her presence but it looks like she wants ta play hide an' seek with me. I was wonderin' if she somehow managed to sneak in when Inoue-chan visited ya but I guess not."

Curiosity getting the best of him, Ichigo asked, "Who are you looking for?" Gin's smile only widened as he lightly chided him, "Now Berry-tan if I told ya then it would ruin the surprise. You'll see her soon enough." Sensing the petulant pout from Ichigo, Gin cheerfully said, "Don't worry, I'll find her soon! I'm gonna head out and see if she's hidin' somewhere else so sit tight, alright?"

And as quickly as Gin came, he was gone, leaving Ichigo to stare at the door in puzzlement and slight envy. _'Lucky bastard, getting to come and go as he pleases. Actually, now that I think about it, I should have asked Gin to get Aizen to come here.'_ Hoping Gin was still near enough to hear him; Ichigo raised his hand to knock loudly on the door when a sudden anxious feeling swept through him.

'_Wha-'_

Fear, a cold gripping feeling that clawed at every fiber of his being now made itself known. It wasn't fear caused by his impulsive decision to interrogate his captor; it was a fear that stemmed from something completely different. Someone he cared about was in danger.

He highly doubted it was Orihime since though Ulquiorra had looked a bit displeased about something, it hadn't been directed towards her. It wasn't as intense a feeling as it would have been if his sisters were being attacked. And Aizen hadn't sent any hollows to attack either Soul Society or the Human World as far as he knew. Which meant…

His friends were invading Hueco Mundo and they were in danger.

A small explosion in the distance confirmed his suspicion and sent him into action. Furiously pounding on the door, he cursed when he realized the arrancars normally guarding him must have left to help take care of the intruders.

'_I have to help them! I need to stop Aizen before he gets to them or they'll die!'_

Even as he thought this, he could feel despair seeping in when he couldn't see a single way out of his confinements. Rushing to his window and testing the bars, he fought against the hopelessness threatening to take its hold when the metal poles separating him from the outside didn't even budge.

He was about to give up and try breaking the door down when he heard an odd noise at the window. Hesitantly, he tried looking around outside between the bars but all he could see was desert which alerted him to something else. The explosions had died down meaning two things neither of which were very reassuring. Either his friends had been wiped out or they had somehow gotten inside. Ichigo distinctly felt it was the latter which made it even more imperative that he get out.

He was so caught up in his thoughts and mumbling about escaping that he forgot about the noise at his window and thus, didn't notice a pair of green eyes peeking at him through the bars which vanished almost as quickly as they appeared.

For a few more minutes, he frantically tried numerous things to get out, his attempts getting more and more desperate with each failure. Just as he was about to snap from frustration and worry, his door opened. Blinking, he stared blankly at the beckoning opening before cautiously walking over and glancing around. Strangely enough, there wasn't anything outside his room and he felt a vague sense of déjà vu but brushed it off in favor of running down a random hallway, hoping it would lead him to Aizen before he killed anybody.

He made to turn down another long passage when he felt his foot bump against something, sending him sprawling quite ungracefully. "Dammit, that hurt! What the hell-" The rest of his words died in his mouth.

There, lying innocently at his feet, was a rock (that was most definitely not there before) with a note on it. The note was written in extremely messy writing and whoever wrote it had terrible spelling. It said: _Yu ith goeng tha wong wai. Aizen-thama ith stwuait doun thith pathage and en tha rum at tha end._ Translation with grammar corrections: You are going the wrong way. Aizen-sama is straight down this passage and in the room at the end.

Feeling slightly suspicious but sensing no ill intent from any where nearby, he decided to trust it. Spotting the large doors he had entered when he'd seen Aizen for the first time since he was brought to Hueco Mundo, he felt dread when he heard a loud voice that sounded an awful lot like Renji. Adding a fresh burst of speed, he opened the doors with an impressive bang. Immediately, all the people in the room turned their attention his way and he felt both colossal relief and quite a bit of confusion.

Inside and surrounded by a few of the espada and in front of Aizen himself were Renji, Rukia, Ishida, Chado, and surprisingly Hanatarou. _'Is the old man going senile? Why would he send humans and a few shinigamis to invade the home of all the hollows? What kind of invasion is that?'_

Disregarding the threatening presences surrounding him, Rukia breathed out in relief, "Ichigo, you're safe! We were so worried…" Renji also ignored the enemy as he said, "You and Orihime sure gave us a scare when you up and vanished! We actually didn't even know you had been kidnapped until Urahara-san told us." Hanatarou bobbed his head up and down quickly and said in a rush, "We were so scared that you had gotten eaten, or killed, or tortured, or something horrible like that!"

Ishida pushed his glasses up and briskly stated, "Point being, it's a relief to see you're not harmed although your outfit is a half a centimeter to big around your waist." Ichigo's brain was currently short-circuiting as he tried to take in what they were all saying from the shinigamis' concern to Ishida's rather pointless comment.

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, he brought his hands up, interrupting their comments and asking, "Wait, this isn't an attack?" They looked at him with incredulous expressions before Rukia snapped, "Of course not you idiot! We're not even supposed to be here but we… we…"

"Wanted to save Kurosaki-kun and Miss Inoue regardless of whether you had permission, yes?"

The cold, amused tone brought them back to the reality of their sticky position as Renji snarled, "We're taking them back with us." Aizen raised an eyebrow in amusement, "Oh? And how do you plan on doing that Abarai-kun? You're in dire need of some saving yourself are you not?"

The would-be rescuers tensed when Aizen slowly drew his sword, the blade glinting with malicious promises of death and bloodshed as its wielder idly said, "At this point, I don't even need to use shikai. All I need to do is a quick, clean-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Ichigo appeared in front of his friends, standing between them and Aizen protectively. Any protests they had were silenced when Ichigo spoke, a hint of desperation in his tone, "Don't kill them." Shadows covered his eyes as he continued, "I'll do whatever you want just don't kill them." He could feel his pride stinging as he let his gaze meet Aizen's imploringly, two words escaping him in a pathetically weak and pleading tone that made him internally cringe.

"Please Aizen."

He faintly heard the people behind him demanding him to move, to let them help him but he knew that they knew that they weren't in any position to do anything and that he was the only reason why they were still breathing.

Aizen wasn't saying anything but simply stared into Ichigo's slightly pained but determined eyes before suddenly saying, "I promised didn't I?" Startled by the unexpected question, Ichigo just gave him a blank stare. _'What is he talking about?'_

Aizen calmly sheathed his sword before closing the distance between him and Ichigo a bit. Ichigo held himself back from retreating and just warily stared up at Aizen's face, silently asking what he meant. "I promised I wouldn't threaten your loved ones' lives to get what I wanted, remember?"

That did ring a bell and Ichigo vaguely recalled that had been one of the rules of their little deal. He flinched a bit when Aizen suddenly bent down and murmured softly in his ear so only he could hear, "This however, does not apply if they are the ones who attack." Ichigo's breath hitched and he was about to drop to his knees and grovel if he had too when Aizen whispered one more thing.

'_Wait, what?'_

He wasn't sure how he should react; it was sort of a win-win deal for him since it really wouldn't change his current circumstances and it would mean his friends could leave unharmed. Empty-handed but at least unharmed.

The only thing holding him back from promptly agreeing was his confusion of why. Why would Aizen make a deal that didn't benefit him and only him? Searching Aizen's face for answers and finding none, he decided to play a small and hopefully non-risky gamble.

"If I refuse?"

There. He saw a flicker of what the man had been concealing before it was replaced by the usual cool expression he always wore. "Then your friends will die right here and now." Clearly, Aizen didn't think Ichigo had seen a small glimpse of his true feelings since his eyes were a bit harder and colder than before, ignorant that Ichigo had been secretly testing him.

Ichigo closed his eyes briefly before saying, "Then I accept." Rukia and Renji were immediately protesting and demanding he tell them what he had agreed to while Hanatarou looked at him with large concerned eyes. Only Ishida and Chado seemed to sense the silent message he was trying to convey since Ishida muttered, "You better know what you're doing Kurosaki."

Smiling a slightly strained smile, Ichigo replied, "I know exactly what I'm doing Ishida." _'Whether I know what I'm getting myself into is a different question.'_ Rukia calmed down enough to try to see what Ishida and Chado were seeing. She too seemed to gain an understanding of something as she swallowed her protests and said softly, "Just… stay safe Ichigo."

He didn't reply and instead, watched as they were escorted through a gargantuan by a yawning espada and the only female one he'd seen. He met his friends' gazes one last time before the gargantuan closed and he was left feeling a strange combination of relief, anxiety, weariness, and determination.

Aizen looked at him cryptically for a few seconds before saying, "I suppose I won't bother to ask how you got out of your room since you now have permission to roam as you please. Just be sure to have one of my more reserved espada with you or Gin. I have things that require my attention at the moment so I will be taking my leave."

Watching as he gracefully strode out -and completely aware of the slightly colder tone his voice- Ichigo replayed the new agreement he had made and wondered exactly what had gone through Aizen's mind when he offered it.

"_I will spare your friends and let them return safely… if you promise to never try to escape Las Noches by your own will." _And if Ichigo's hearing wasn't playing tricks, then he had heard in a voice barely above a whisper, something that left his mind reeling.

"_Don't leave."_

* * *

><p>AN: Ten points to whoever can guess who wrote the little note and helped Ichi escape~ This chappie's a little longer than usual I think so I hope you all enjoyed it!

* * *

><p>And of course Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Translations_

There, lying innocently at his feet, was a rock (that was most definitely not there before) with a note on it. The note was written in extremely messy writing and whoever wrote it had terrible spelling. It said: _Yu ith goeng tha wong wai. Aizen-thama ith stwuait doun thith pathage and en tha rum at tha end._

For several minutes, Ichigo just stared at the note, his eyes running over it multiple times before he threw it up in exasperation and shouted, "I can't read this! I need it to be somewhat legible if I'm supposed to translate what it says in a reasonable amount of time!"

_Clothes Nerd_

Disregarding the threatening presences surrounding him, Rukia breathed out in relief, "Ichigo, you're safe! We were so worried…" Renji also ignored the enemy as he said, "You and Orihime sure gave us a scare when you up and vanished! We actually didn't even know you had been kidnapped until Urahara-san told us." Hanatarou bobbed his head up and down quickly and said in a rush, "We were so scared that you had gotten eaten, or killed, or tortured, or something horrible like that!"

Ishida pushed his glasses up and briskly stated, "Point being, it's a relief to see you're not harmed although your clothes are absolutely unacceptable. The sleeves are a millimeter too long, the sash is the wrong color, your pants are slightly too big around your waist, and the collar should be jst a bit darker."

While Gin moped in a corner since his fashion sense had never been so harshly critiqued, Ichigo sighed and said, "Uhh Ishida? Can we try to cut down on the amount of criticism on my clothes?" Pushing his glasses up, Ishida agreed but paused when he heard Renji muttered barely above his breath, "Clothes nerd."

Ishida huffed and replied, "And proud of it."


	11. Meeting Nel: Concern and Homesickness

The next day, Ichigo was still in a bit of a stupor since the ordeal with the failed rescue attempt and Aizen's strange behavior so he completely forgot about the warning of not wandering around without someone to guard him.

Deciding against telling Orihime all that had happened (assuming she didn't already know) and worrying her, he began walking down a hallway, lost in thought. For about an hour, he ambled around, trying to figure out why Aizen was acting so oddly and then berated himself for even thinking about the bastard so much. It was only after he passed by a familiar pair of doors that he realized he was going in circles and was now completely and utterly lost.

'_How? How do I get myself into things like this?'_

"_That would be 'cause yer an idiot king."_

'_Your comment was highly unappreciated. If you're going to say something, at least be helpful.'_

"… _Holler an' see if someone comes runnin' to yer rescue?"_

'_Can I shoot you?"_

Ignoring the insane cackle in his head, Ichigo opted to try another random hallway with the hope that he would run into Aizen, Gin or maybe even the other guy, Tousen. _'Maybe when I find them I'll just spend the rest of the day relaxing. I have had way too much excitement in such a short amount of time.' _That plan went to scratch however when he heard a terrified shriek. Disregarding what he had just thought, he whipped around and took off in the direction he heard the scream from. Turning sharply into a different hallway, he froze and widened his eyes at what he saw.

There, holding a tiny little girl with green hair who was bawling, was a ridiculously tall skinny person wearing a bizarre outfit that resembled a spoon and who he remembered was sitting among the other espada at the meeting when he was first brought to Hueco Mundo. Ignoring the fact he didn't know what number the guy was, Ichigo snapped, "Oi! Let her go!" The espada glanced over with an irritated expression which was replaced by a sinister smirk that raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

"Well what've we got here? Here I was thinkin' I would be left with nothin' to do since Aizen-sama didn't let me kill those shinigamis and what do I find? An irritating eyesore and Aizen-sama's little pet." Ichigo bristled at being called a pet but bit back a nasty response when he noticed the little girl was still in danger. Fixing the espada with a glare, he boldly demanded, "Let her go."

The creepy smirk burst into a condescending snicker as the espada cackled, "A weak defenseless lamb like you orderin' me to do somethin'? That was so funny I nearly forgot to laugh!" The laugh turned into a menacing sneer. "Get outta my sight or I'll make you sorry. Me an' this brat have a score to settle." Ichigo felt fury course through him as he saw the creep shake the poor frightened girl harshly.

"I don't give a shit if you have something against a little girl, pick on someone else. Or are you only capable of acting tough when you're bullying someone shorter than your leg?" The lanky man stopped moving before suddenly carelessly tossing the little girl to the side and into a wall. Ichigo instantly rushed towards her in worry but before he reached her, he was slammed against the wall. A thin bony hand pinned him there by the neck in a powerful grip as the espada hissed dangerously, "You've got a nasty mouth on ya dontcha?"

The pressure on his windpipe increased, causing Ichigo to gasp as he attempted to weakly tug at the arm holding him while its owner kept talking. "Don't see why Aizen-sama keeps a pathetic weakling like you around." Loosening his grip a bit so Ichigo could breathe a little easier, a crude smirk appeared on his face as he drawled, "But I think the pet needs to be punished."

Ichigo was about to demand what he meant when the espada's other hand fisted the collar of his shirt before yanking with enough force to rip the fabric. Ichigo's eyes widened and he could feel dread and panic clouding his mind. He may be oblivious but even he could see what the espada was intending to do. He tried to push the espada away but it was a futile attempt, he might as well have been trying to stop a tank from moving with a pistol.

The hand holding his neck moved to grab both his hands and held them against the wall while the other trailed down his sweating chest, sending chills throughout his body. "I gotta say, Aizen-sama has good tastes. I wonder how many times he's fucked yer little ass." Managing to push some of the fear hindering his thought process away, Ichigo kept struggling as he snapped, "I don't know what drug you're on but you're seriously misunderstanding something here. Aizen only sees me as a tool that will help him win against the shinigamis so get your mind out of the gutter you overgrown spoon."

A hand harshly back-handed his face as the other one holding both of his squeezed painfully. Letting out a hiss of pain, he barely registered what the espada was saying. "Watch that shitty little tongue of yers or I'll cut it off. And you seriously think I'd believe somethin' like that? We've all seen the way Aizen-sama looks at you, a cute little pet for a good fuck. There's no fuckin' way he wouldn't have pounded into ya by now."

Another insane cackle escaped him as he shouted, "He wouldn't have shown such generous restraint for a pet he wants as a fuck toy!" Smirking at the body trembling in his grasp, he crowed, "Well, I'm sure Aizen-sama won't mind if I take a little taste myself!"

"Is that so? And since when have you been the one to decide what I thought Nnoitra?"

The frosty voice had a murderous edge to it as the espada jerked and then cringed in fear. Ichigo felt what could only be described as a wave of relief crash through him when he looked to the side and saw Aizen standing there, a false neutral look of control on his face. Abruptly, both Ichigo and the one now identified as Nnoitra gasped in pain when heavy amounts of reiatsu slammed down on them. Nnoitra collapsed on the ground and Ichigo would have fallen with him if it weren't for an arm that wrapped around his waist and held him gently but firmly against a broad chest. Another arm looped under his legs and lifted him up bridal style, holding him close in an almost protective manner.

He could hear Aizen saying something to the espada but it was a faint murmuring at best since his consciousness was fading out from the sudden exposure to such strong reiatsu. With great effort, he curled a hand around the fabric of the front of Aizen's hakama and managed to say, "T-the little girl… make sure she's… ok…ay…" before darkness pulled him into a realm of black nothingness.

* * *

><p>The first thing Ichigo noticed when he began waking up was the feeling of something snuggled against his chest. The second thing he noticed was that it was breathing. Jolting into a sitting position, he immediately regretted it when his vision swam and black spots decorated everything. Bringing a hand to his hand, he flinched in surprise when someone spoke near him, "That wasn't very nice Berry-tan. You sent poor li'l Nel flyin' even after she spent this whole time with ya. Oh, and ya might not want to move so suddenly next time. My professional deduction is that you've got a killer headache."<p>

Finding strange comfort in the familiar, jolly voice that belonged to Gin, Ichigo shifted, slowly this time, so he could see the silver-haired man. Gin was sitting on a chair next to his bed with his usual smile although there was a certain annoyed edge to his expression like he was mad about something. What really grabbed Ichigo's attention though, was the little girl he had saved nestled in the man's arms.

When she noticed he was looking at her, she gave him a big toothy grin and exclaimed in a sweet childish voice, "Thank you vewy much mistah! Nel's big bwudders got lost so Nel was looking for them but then that mean person attacked Nel!" She held out a little chubby hand and said, "Nel's name ith Nel! Gin-sama said mistah's name was Itsugo!" When Ichigo glared at Gin, the smiling man just held his hands up in surrender and said, "Not my fault! Nel-chan has an odd way of speaking so she often mispronounces things. Her spelling is even worse though."

Ichigo blinked and looked at the beaming little girl, realizing why her words seemed to ring a bell. _'Was she the one that wrote that note? And does that mean she was also the one who opened my door before?'_ Deciding not to worry about it, he just smiled a bit and said, "Nice to meet you Nel. I'm glad you're okay." Nel grinned before leaping out of Gin's arms and onto the bed, curling up and snuggling against Ichigo again. His eyes widened a bit in surprise before they slipped into an affectionate look.

As he gently pat Nel on the head, he absentmindedly asked, "What happened?" A voice from the other side of the room replied and he jerked his head in the direction of Aizen, not having noticed he was there until now. "You encountered a bit of trouble with the quinta espada, Nnoitra Jiruga." Aizen was standing with his back facing Ichigo as he spoke, his tone sounding just the slightest bit tight. "I have dealt a punishment suitable for his behavior and he should not bother either you again."

Was it just Ichigo's imagination or did the man seem emotionally strung? Like he was off-balance and was struggling to keep himself under control? It was almost as if… he was trying to force himself to sound like he didn't care, like he was trying to make himself indifferent to the fact Ichigo had almost been assaulted even though he actually... did mind? _'Can't Aizen be more consistent? I can't tell what he's thinking if he keeps acting weird like this.'_

Stilling his hand petting Nel, Ichigo started saying, "I-" when Aizen interrupted. "I have assigned the primera to watch over you. He is not in any way a prison guard; he is merely acting as your bodyguard." Aizen finally turned and faced him but his guarded expression was in place. It seemed to soften just a bit however, when he saw the little body snuggled affectionately on Ichigo's lap. "I will also permit Neliel to stay with you since you both seem quite attached already."

Ichigo blinked before blurting out, "Aren't you angry at me?" When Aizen didn't bat an eye, he added in a hurried stream of rambling, "I forgot the warning you told me about not wandering around on my own, then I intentionally pissed off an espada even though I knew I didn't stand a chance against him and then you," _'… you had to save me.'_

Gin glanced back and forth between the two before wisely slipping out of the room unnoticed. Aizen didn't say anything but when Gin was gone, he approached Ichigo and raised his hand. _'Fuck, he was pissed. He's going to hit me isn't he?' _Shutting his eyes, Ichigo cringed a bit when a hand touched his injured cheek in a surprisingly gentle tap.

"The only thing I am angry about with you is that you insist on finding ways to get yourself in danger for the sake of others. If I had not been notified by Ulquiorra that you were walking around in a place dangerously close to where Nnoitra was, I would never have known that you were in trouble and Nnoitra would have been able to hurt you in a barbaric way."

Opening his eyes, Ichigo looked up and his mouth opened a bit in surprise when he saw the barest hints of concern undeniably there in Aizen's eyes. The way he spoke completely contradicted what the espada had said about him and he wanted to ask about that but instead, what came out was a different question, one that had been tugging at his mind restlessly since the time they had made their deal and Aizen had backed off when he saw how scared Ichigo was.

"Why do you care?"

Surprise and even uncertainty flickered in Aizen's eyes before he pulled his hand away and headed towards the door, pausing to say a few things. "All your injuries will be gone by tomorrow so rest for the rest of the day. Gin is already preparing new clothes for you and your bodyguard is just down the hall if you need anything. I must leave now."

Before Ichigo could protest, he was already gone, leaving the teen extremely confused and just a bit annoyed. _'Stupid sly bastard didn't even answer my question!' _Huffing, Ichigo paused and wondered what Aizen had meant when he had said "all" his injuries. Carefully thinking back to the incident, he realized that he should have bruises around his neck and wrists from when Nnoitra had held them.

But when he cautiously touched his neck, there wasn't a single feeling of pain and when he checked his wrists, they were perfectly fine as well. Neither of the spots hurt but there was a small tingling feeling there like his skin had just been in contact with a healing spell, similar to how his wounds felt after Orihime or Hanatarou had healed him. Perplexed, he stared at them as if they would answer his unspoken question.

Finally, he gave up and settled with looking down at Nel who had somehow fallen asleep during the conversation. Nostalgia and a small feeling of homesickness swept through him when her image was replaced by his two younger sisters during their younger childhood days. Tucking Nel under the covers, he lay down next to her and wrapped her in a protective hug, slipping into a peaceful dream of gentle hands surrounded by warmth.

He was unaware of Aizen watching his saddened expression and remained oblivious to the conflicting emotions dancing in his captor's troubled mind. He also never figured out that the hands in his dreams were his body's unconscious recollection of Aizen healing his injuries.

* * *

><p>AN: The drama builds up~ Lot's more will be happening so look forward to it! (Sex scenes are still quite a bit ways away so no getting your hopes up for smut. There will be a warning for the chapter that actually happens in). Hope everybody enjoyed this chappie~ I will try to make the rest of the chapters as long (or maybe even longer) as this one as thanks for all the reviews this story has gotten! Over 50, whoo-hoo! Next goal is 100!

* * *

><p>Anyway, as per usual: Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Straight Faces_

Ignoring the fact he didn't know what number the guy was, Ichigo snapped, "Oi! Let her go!" The espada glanced over with an irritated expression which was replaced by a sinister smirk that raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

They stared at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Do ya… have to use… such a… frightened puppy expression?" Nnoitra asked between bouts of snickers. Ichigo was holding his sides as he gasped out, "Sh-shut up! You're not… much better… You look like… one of those creepy suspicious people… lurking near… playgrounds…"

As they attempted to regain composure, Gin cheerfully said, "Ain't it hard ta keep a straight face durin' serious scenes?"

_Sleep Talking_

The way he spoke completely contradicted what the espada had said about him and he wanted to ask about that but instead, what came out was a different question, one that had been tugging at his mind restlessly since the time they had made their deal and Aizen had backed off when he saw how scared Ichigo was.

"Why do you care?"

"Mushroom Jelly Sandwich Attack!"

Both Aizen and Ichigo blinked before looking at the sleeping Nel oddly. "Er, what did she say?" Ichigo asked. Aizen sighed and said, "She's doing it again." When he received a curious look, he explained, "Nel has a terrible habit of saying strange things in her sleep. I've tried numerous things to break her of that habit but as you can see, it hasn't been very successful."

"So… how do we do this scene?"

"… Well, she speaks in fifteen minute intervals so if we can get everything said and end the scene in that time span then it should be fine."

"…"

"You have got to be kidding."


	12. UlquiHime: Acceptance

Ulquiorra preferred a black and white world. He liked when things were a simple matter of yes or no, do it or don't do it, etc. He especially liked it when he only had to choose between two sensations, irritated or neutral. Ever since Aizen had taken control over Hueco Mundo, his expectations had been met and everything had been perfect, thus he had no qualms following the man even if he was planning to use the hollows in a war they cared nothing about.

Yet in an instant, everything was warped and things were beginning to change.

The once beautiful black and white were now merging and forming many different shades of gray that were leaving Ulquiorra reeling. He had thought the days when he would make decisions based on his instincts were over ever since he obtained logic and sense but that was unfortunately, not the case. The reasons? A fragile, weak human woman and a boy straddling the borders between hollow, shinigami, and human. Both were twisting everything out of the norm and creating new foreign things Ulquiorra wasn't sure he wanted to accept.

The boy instilled a peculiar fury of a nature he was unused to. He wanted to kill Kurosaki Ichigo but it wasn't because of an order by Aizen or out of survival instincts since his current state certainly posed no threat to Ulquiorra's wellbeing. It was something he simply wanted because for reasons beyond his understanding, he was envious of the boy. Not because of his power and not even for monopolizing his lord's time and thoughts. It was because of the woman known as Inoue Orihime and that was where everything always seemed to lead up to.

She was, to put it simply, a walking oxymoron that pulled him in two different directions. Weak and yet strong, timid but bold, naïve but nevertheless wise; she was all of this and so much more. He loathed her and at the same time, desired her. He both looked down on her as an inferior species and also admired her. She was a piece of trash and the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.

She had him captivated but she didn't belong to him.

Her heart, her smile, her emotions, everything was given to that ignorant boy and it ignited the rage he thought he had buried deep inside himself after he had obtained power. That insolent whelp had everything he inwardly craved to have and it was both a humiliating and infuriating thing to have continuously shoved into his face. The only thing that kept him from snapping the neck of his 'nemesis' was the order by Aizen to keep both humans unharmed. The hate he felt towards the child was even greater than the spite he felt towards the trash known as Grimmjow Jaggerjacques. It was a bitter feeling like he had never felt before and it was chipping at his formerly impenetrable walls trapping his emotions.

So what compelled him to tell his lord that the boy he so desperately wished to be dead was heading towards trouble in the form of one of the most violent espada?

There was no doubt he hated Kurosaki Ichigo with every fiber of his being, that much had been established. It would have been far more beneficial for him if he had simply let Nnoitra do as he pleased and then take the fall for doing irreversible damage to the boy. It would have been an ideal win-win situation and it would have left a feeling of great satisfaction in him. But he hadn't let things proceed like that and it was frustrating that he didn't know why.

'_Perhaps my subconscious recognized that Aizen-sama would be furious if his toy was damaged in any way and that compelled me to take the proper procedures to ensure that such a thing didn't happen…'_

As much as he wanted to believe in his thoughts, a nagging tug in his mind insisted that he analyze the situation further. Apparently his subconscious refused to accept the easy way out, thus compelling him to think more deeply. However, no matter how many times he replayed the scene, be it in his mind or through his eye, the puzzle remained unsolved. The pieces were there, they just refused to piece together sufficiently enough to satisfy him.

And so somehow, this all resulted in him heading over to see his charge and the origin of all his problems. Why he thought visiting her would clear everything up, he would never understand but his instincts were telling him that the trip would be more enlightening than if he tried figuring it out on his own.

He became alarmed to a certain extent however, when the detestable silver-haired, right-hand man of his lord stepped out of the woman's room and the reassuring grin he received, at least that's what he believed it was, did nothing to ease his suspicions. The suspicious man had the audacity to wave to him and then to even speak to him despite the number of times Ulquiorra had specifically told him never to talk to him in any way. He even used that ridiculous nickname to address him.

"Hello Ulqui-kun! Are ya visitin' Orihime-chan too?" Not even waiting for a reply, he added, "Good timing! She has somethin' she wants to tell ya too~" That piqued his interest marginally but he was more concerned that the sly fox had messed with the person he had been assigned to watch. Subtly increasing his pace, he passed by the smiling man without a single response and entered the woman's room.

He would never admit that he felt relieved when he saw nothing wrong with her other than the familiar sight of concern in her eyes that he just knew was caused by that reckless boy she cared so much about. Releasing the inconspicuous tension in his body he had unconsciously formed, he silently approached her.

"Woman, what did-"

His words were cut off when the strange woman suddenly jumped up, tripped, and somehow smacked her head on the small cushioned chair in her room all in one flowing movement. He watched impassively and just a bit unsure of how to react as she clutched her forehead in pain. "Ow… Oh Ulquiorra! I'm sorry; I didn't hear you come in." Her usual chirp seemed a touch bit edgy as she leaped to her feet, rubbing the slightly red spot decorating her head.

Deciding not to comment, he was about to repeat his question when she unexpectedly answered it albeit unknowingly and in a peculiar manner. She was still facing him but she had changed her position so that her head was tilted down as if she was embarrassed and her tone had become slightly nervous, like she wasn't entirely sure of what she was about to say. Strangely enough, a bubble of anticipation formed in his chest, just below his hole, almost as if he was expecting her to say something that would be somehow pleasing to him.

"Um, I just heard from Gin-san… Kurosaki-kun was attacked recently by one of the espada wasn't he?"

Oh, she merely wished to talk about the boy again. Ignoring the small twinge that replaced the little bubble that felt oddly like he had been hurt, he feigned disinterest as he silently nodded, confirming her suspicion. He then said, in a rather cold tone, "Such trivial matters mean little to me. I am only here to check up on your welfare and to ensure your relative comfort. Since it seems you are in no need of anything in particular, I will be taking my leave."

He turned and was about to head out, a heavy feeling settled over the area where his heart would have been, when a slim delicate hand grasped his arm. "Wait! That's not the only thing I wanted to say…" He didn't look at her but he also didn't make any signs of moving again so she continued, "Gin-san also said that you helped him." Had Ulquiorra been unrefined, he would have scoffed at the sheer ridiculousness of that comment. Instead, he settled with saying indifferently, "I did no such thing. I simply told Aizen-sama the whereabouts of Kurosaki Ichigo since the boy has a natural talent of getting lost and it would have displeased my lord if he had to waste time to go hunt down the trash."

The hand on his arm tightened a bit. "But you still helped him even if it was inadvertently. No matter what you say, that fact won't change." Annoyed that she insisted on believing that silly notion, he turned and was about to say something harsh when she suddenly lifted her head and formed the second most breath-taking smile with her lips he had ever received.

For once, he was speechless and it wasn't because he deemed the situation unworthy of words. The smile didn't change as she softly but whole-heartedly stated, "Thank you Ulquiorra." He could only stare into her sparkling gray pools as she added, "I know you don't like Kurosaki-kun very much but if you hadn't told someone he was close by a dangerous person, then he might have been hurt very badly."

As she spoke, everything clicked together and he suddenly realized the reason why he had discreetly taken measures to ensure the boy's safety. It most definitely wasn't to protect his fellow hollow from receiving what would have been a very unpleasant punishment. It wasn't even because it would have displeased Aizen if the boy had been defiled in any way. It was just so he could preserve this smile. It was to keep that spark of pure joy from disappearing even if it would never be solely for him. It was for the sole reason of protecting the radiant light that was steadily purifying the darkness in his monochrome world.

The sudden epiphany struck Ulquiorra like a thunderbolt and its effects were a swirling mess of conflicting emotions- pride at having solved the difficult mystery yet disappointment that it had taken so long to figure such a simple thing out. It had also caused something akin to happiness to erupt in him but with it came a feeling of terror.

As much as it pained him to admit to himself, there was no denying that he was terrified of the woman Inoue Orihime. He was scared of the unknowingly powerful hold she had over him. She practically had him dancing on the palm of her hand, his emotions and thoughts being her puppets and she the puppeteer.

It was all so one-sided.

Finally re-establishing the ability to form coherent sentences, Ulquiorra stared down at the beaming woman and then asked, "Why are you thanking me?" She blinked at looked at him confused so he elaborated. "Regardless of whether my actions assisted Kurosaki Ichigo or not, my status as your enemy remains unchanged. Why would a prisoner such as yourself express gratitude towards the one holding you here against your will?"

Orange hair swirled elegantly as the woman turned so her back was now facing him as she said lightly, "You're right Ulquiorra, we _are_ enemies and it _is_ strange that I'm thanking you. I wonder why…" Even with her back to him, he did not miss the sadness that filled her voice as she quietly murmured, "I wonder why things are like this." Moonlight spilled in through her window, illuminating her figure as she turned back to him with serious gray eyes as she asked, "Why… don't I consider you an enemy anymore?"

Staring at the epitome of beauty, Ulquiorra found himself questioning her words.

"You… do not see me as an enemy? I could crush you with a single hand. If my lord wishes it, I could end your pitiful life right now. I could destroy you, physically… emotionally… spiritually… all with a single command. I am the chain that binds you from your freedom, the one who separates you from everything you hold dear. And you still believe I am not an enemy?"

Her own gaze didn't waver. "An enemy isn't always someone you fear or hate Ulquiorra. Defining an enemy is so much more than that." She lowered her lids as she said almost sadly, "An enemy is someone who threatens the things you believe in or in my case, threatens the people I care about. An enemy," her eyes closed and her tone turned a touch bitter, "is someone you feel you are obligated to defeat in order to protect the things you believe regardless of whether you hate them or not. It's just usually easier to consider someone as one if you don't like them."

Emerald green orbs widened just barely a fraction of a millimeter. "You neither fear nor hate me woman?"

Her eyes opened briefly and then closed as she smiled once more only this time, it was a pained smile full of grief and resigned acceptance. "No, I don't. And I don't think you feel any negative things towards me either. And that's why," a single drop of salty clear liquid slipped from her eye and trailed down her cheek, "it hurts to know that one day, we're going to be standing on opposite sides of a field, thinking only of defeating the other side while the memories of peaceful times like this… disappear."

Watery gray pools met his gaze as she said, "I know this. You know this. Ichigo and Aizen-san know this. We all know this but I can't help feel… that we're all fighting a losing battle and that we're all going to be hurt very badly at the end." Ulquiorra didn't respond so she said, "You know, for all the times Ichigo feels trapped by Aizen-san, I think there's something more between them. It's not even a bad thing but I know…"

"No matter what, it has to be stopped. Just like… this thing that's happening between you and me."

Giggling a bit at his stunned silence, she smiled and said, "You're surprised aren't you? Ulquiorra never shows his expressions but the shock is still there. I'm not too surprised, everyone thinks that since I'm a bit of an airhead, I'm also oblivious but I'm not. Understanding others… that's the only thing I'm really good at."

Ulquiorra could feel a pressure building inside him, instigated by two polarizing feelings. One was demanding that he flee, to run away before the woman could say anymore that would undoubtedly hit far too close to home but the other compelled him to stay, to hear what she knew and hopefully end the never-ending questions and confusion that muddled his mind. The "stay" instinct won out and he simply gazed at the woman, silently urging her to continue.

She seemed to receive his message since she smiled, painfully happy and happily pained. "Ulquiorra… you were jealous of Ichigo weren't you? The animosity you directed towards him, it was all because I paid more attention to him wasn't it? Because…"

"Because Ulquiorra really likes me doesn't he?"

Tears were now freely flowing down her soft cheeks as she buried her face in her hands and said brokenly, "You had such a painful secret and even though I knew about it, I still trampled on the feelings you were finally feeling after such a long time of loneliness and apathy. No matter how many times I apologize, I can't ever make up for doing such a horrible and heartless thing." Ulquiorra was about to deny her words and say that she had nothing to apologize for since he really didn't care when she added quietly, "And even worse… I want to try to reciprocate your feelings. I want… to deepen something that should have never begun. I-"

Ulquiorra suddenly found himself standing directly in front of her and for once, he acted before he thought. He wrapped his pale hands around her wrists, silently asking her to look up. When she complied, he spoke in his usual bland tone, "You wish to try something that will only end unhappily, correct?" Miserable gray eyes met his as she nodded as he said, "I am not simply a rebound for you?" Gently, she removed her wrists from his grasp so that she could hold his hands in hers.

"You're not a rebound from Ichigo's rejection. I accepted that he would never return my feelings long ago. I only told him about my feelings for two reasons, to cheer him up and to make sure I didn't regret never telling him. He's an important friend and it would have been horrible of me if I kept such a thing secret from him." Her tears had slowed and then stopped as she said softly, "The feelings I have towards you, they aren't very strong but they are there. Ulquiorra, if you can wait and give these emotions time to grow, then we can have something more sweet, more fulfilling, than what anyone else could ever give to us. In exchange, it will be unbearably short and we may feel pain more hurtful and far more excruciating than any possible torture. Is that okay with you?"

His eyes betrayed no emotion as he replied, "Ever since I brought you here, you have done nothing but pull me in two polarizing directions. One that could prove beneficial to me and one that could destroy me. I loathe how trash like you could do such a thing to a being of my caliber." Her eyes dimmed even further and she made to pull away as she said in a forced light voice, "Then I guess there's nothing else that needs to be said is there?"

Cold, pale hands held hers firmly, preventing her from moving, causing her to blink in confusion. Entwining their fingers together, Ulquiorra said, "I am also pleased by the power you alone possess over me. To engage in something that promises both freedom from longing and solitude and an untimely and tragic end, that is something I would agree to only as long as it was with a strange woman such as you."

The woman stared at him in shock before smiling with more happiness than sadness this time. Holding their clasped hands tightly, she said, "Then this will be our secret and no one else will ever know."

The black and white world, along with many shades of gray, now had a single bright red rose blooming with the color of passionate love and crimson blood, a foreshadowing of the future that lay ahead of them.

* * *

><p>AN: Strangely enough, UlquiHime is probably one of my fave hetero pairings XD I'm looking forward to continue writing about them. And no worries, AizIchi love will begine to fully bloom in a couple more chapters so keep reading~

* * *

><p>Along with all the love must come humor so… Deleted Scenes!<p>

_The Fall_

His words were cut off when the strange woman suddenly jumped up, tripped, and somehow smacked her head on the small cushioned chair in her room all in one flowing movement.

He watched impassively as she continued from there to leap to her feet, slip, fall backwards this time, and land in an undignified sprawled heap on the floor.

Silence.

"Woman, I do not believe the script included the second half of your… mishap." A muffled, "Sorry…" could be heard from the poor, embarrassed soul on the ground.

_It's Important to Eat Breakfast_

Entwining their fingers together, Ulquiorra said, "I am also pleased by the power you alone possess over me. To engage in something that promises both freedom from longing and solitude and an untimely and tragic end, that is something I would agree to only as long as it was with a strange woman such as you."

A loud gurgle noise echoed in the small pause that followed resulting in one blank faced Ulquiorra and a slightly uneasy Orihime. Trying to lessen the embarrassment, Orihime gently asked, "Um Ulquiorra, are you hungry for some reason?" His face remained stoic as he monotonously stated, "I was running late this morning and I was thus obligated to skip breakfast in order to arrive on time."

As Orihime lectured him about why it was important to eat breakfast no matter what, Ichigo whispered to Aizen, "I thought you were joking when you said Ulquiorra wasn't a morning person! How is he such a perfectionist if he's like that?"

Aizen chuckled before whispering back, "It's just one of the many mysteries that make up Ulquiorra. Let's leave it at that."


	13. Bodyguards: Familial Warmth

Small A/N: Thank you to whoever pointed out my spelling error in one of the chapter titles! I totally didn't notice that and I'm sorry if it bugged anybody else. Heaven knows it would have annoyed me as well if I saw it. Anyway, enjoy this chapter! (and do point out any other errors so I can fix them)

Ichigo's mind felt slightly fuzzy when he slowly made his way back to an awake state but the odd feeling was swept aside when he became aware that he and Nel were not the only ones occupying the bed at the moment. To wake up and find yourself staring at a (thankfully clothed) chest of a man who also appeared to be sleeping was not the best way to start the day.

Letting out a rather unmanly squeak, he bolted into an upright position and was about to knock the pervert into a world of pain when a blur suddenly landed on top of the sleeping man's chest and began raining multiple fast punches on the unsuspecting person.

"Stark, you perverted bastard! What in the seven hells are you doing sleeping in the same bed as another guy?"

Ichigo seriously felt that those were his lines but decided to keep quiet and let the petite girl lash out rather viciously at the poor man who was still somehow sleeping. Ichigo winced a bit in sympathy when the girl suddenly stomped her foot down on the delicate anatomy very precious to men and was amazed by the man's lackadaisical response which was a small grunt that seemed more out of resignation than pain.

Apparently that specific attack was one of the few things that woke the man up since one of his eyelids lifted to reveal a blue-gray orb that still looked sleepy for some reason even though he had been sleeping so deeply only a few seconds earlier. "Lily, how many times do I have to tell you that hitting the great Down There really hurts a man?" His surprisingly soothing baritone voice eased some of Ichigo's fears that the guy was a creep and lessened his own inclination to pummel the guy for sneaking into his bed.

He jumped a bit when the man sat up and yawned before looking at him. "Sorry if I scared you Kurosaki-sama, I'm Stark Coyote and this here is Lilynette. We're going to be the ones who keep you safe from some of the other more… impulsive hollows." Ichigo felt a small twinge of irritation, "Can you not call me Kurosaki-sama? That just sounds really... formal." Stark stared at him for a while before finally asking, "What about Ichigo-sama then?"

_'This guy is seriously adamant about adding that 'sama' isn't he?'_

Ichigo hesitantly nodded in consent before saying, "That's fine I guess. Just one more thing though… why were you in my bed?" Letting out another yawn, Stark ran a hand through his wavy brown hair and replied, "I'm a bit of a sleepy guy and I don't really like sleeping on hard surfaces. So when I saw half your bed unoccupied, I couldn't help myself and I crawled on. I tried to keep some space between us but I guess it didn't really work, huh?"

The girl, Lilynette kicked him in the shin and snapped, "Of course that would happen you idiot! If you sleep in that tiny thing with three people, you're obviously going to wind up either snuggled up like newlyweds or on the floor!" Ichigo could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment and felt a bit envious that Stark was completely unfazed by the comment. Suddenly remembering that Nel had also been sleeping with him, Ichigo frantically looked around and nearly had a heart attack when he saw a pair of tiny feet sticking out from under the pillows.

"Oh shi- Nel!" Yanking the pillows up, he breathed a huge sigh of relief when he saw Nel sleeping peacefully and thankfully not in an eternal slumber. Sitting back, he blinked when he noticed Lilynette looking at him oddly. "Is something wrong?" She tilted her head and said rather bluntly, "You're weird."

Now that was uncalled for. Sure Ichigo had a rather strange family and true he was juggling shinigami work and normal life as well as keeping a hollow under tabs but by no means did any of that make him weird. He was just… slightly abnormal.

"_Denial much king?"_

'_You, hush.'_

"Um, is there a reason why you think that?" She looked at him incredulously before saying, "You're worried about a _hollow_, a person whose part of the race that's enemies with your shinigami friends." Ichigo didn't really see anything wrong with that since said person happened to be a little girl and posed as much of a threat as a fly. "Yeah, so?" She threw her hands up and muttered about being stuck surrounded by morons before chucking a pillow at Stark who had fallen back to sleep at one point.

'_He's an espada? He's surprisingly… laid back and normal. I was expecting someone more like Grimmjow or that other guy Ulquiorra.'_

He blinked when he heard Lilynette shouting about oversleeping and that there was probably no more food left to eat in the kitchens. "Now we're probably gonna have to eat that crap that snaky-eyed bastard calls food all because you wouldn't wake up!" Ichigo shuddered when he remembered the odd assortment of clearly non-edible things Gin had made and then paused when he noticed something the spunky hollow had said.

"Wait, there's a kitchen?"

"Haaah? Of course there is! Where else does that snaky-eyed bastard do that retarded thing called experimenting with food?" Ignoring her snarky tone since his hunger was taking precedence, he said, "Can you show me where it is? I can make something for us to eat." Curious about the silence that met his request, he asked, "Is that not allowed or something?"

Stark yawned and mumbled, "Lily's probably shocked that there's someone who can actually cook. I'm pretty surprised myself." _'Why is that such a rare thing? What exactly have I been eating these past few days?'_ Lilynette apparently regained the ability of speech as she spluttered indignantly, "I wasn't surprised by something little like that! I was… uh… just thinking that Aizen-sama wouldn't like it if his guest had to cook for himself!"

Ichigo shrugged. "It's fine. I'm not as good as my little sister but I can make pretty much anything thanks to her. I should actually make something for Nel to eat later as a snack. Maybe cookies or something…" He paused when he felt a small tug on his sleeve. Looking down, he wondered when Lilynette had gotten there but before he could ask, she spoke.

"What are… cookies? Are they yummy?"

Thrown off by the complete 180 in her personality, he looked at Stark for an explanation. "The only food we know about is the occasional dish Tousen-sama makes or the… substances Gin-sama and others try to make. Lily's been dying to try something new since the same old thing gets boring."

"I thought hollows had to eat souls in order to keep their strength up" Ichigo said in puzzlement. "We do but similar to humans, we do like to eat non-essential things for the sake of the simple joy of eating, preferably something edible." Ichigo nodded, that made sense. Looking back at Lilynette, he suggested, "How about this: since you guys are going through the trouble of watching over me, I'll make us meals and when its snack time for Nel, you can eat with her. Is that a deal?"

Lilynette's eyes were practically sparkling as she vigorously agreed. Ichigo smiled a bit before getting off the bed and indicating that they should head out now. Stark seemed extremely reluctant to move but with some rather violent threats courtesy of Lilynette, he managed to pull himself up and onto his feet.

Ichigo scooped Nel up before following his two bodyguards out, mulling over what he should make and then wondering if the food would be anything like human food. Praying for the best, he then became aware that arrancars that were loitering around were openly gaping at him and his two, technically three companions. "Um, why are they all staring like that?" Stark cracked his neck a bit and drawled, "They're probably just wondering what the Primera is doing with the shinigami guest."

"Oh I see." It took a few more seconds before what Stark said actually processed. "You're the Primera?" Stark blinked sleepily, "Oh, did I forget to say that? Me and Lily make up the Primera espada together which is why neither of us is ever without the other."

'_I don't really get what he means but I guess that makes him and Lilynette similar to Shiro and me?'_

"_Feh, you'd be the chick."_

Mentally imagining Shiro getting squished by a large hammer, Ichigo was jarred out of his thoughts when he realized they were standing in what could only be a kitchen if the stove, cabinets of food, and refrigerator were anything to go by. He failed to notice a small dining table towards the center of the room with a few wooden chairs around it until he nearly crashed ito one of said chairs.

_'Geez, I'm awfully out of it today.' _Lightly pressing his hand to his forehead, he felt slightly warmer than normal but dismissed it as leftover heat from when he had blushed earlier. He dismissed the fact that that incident had taken place quite a while earlier and thus the blood that had rushed to his head should have returned to normal by now.

Asking Stark to hold onto Nel until she woke up, Ichigo busied himself with figuring out where everything was. To his relief, everything basically resembled a modern kitchen and the food didn't seem extremely weird although he was slightly edgy about using the eggs. Pointedly deciding not to think about where the eggs were from, he began making pancakes and fried egg. Throughout the entire process, Lilynette had her eyes glued to the food as though it was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen.

"It… it actually looks like food!"

Alright, considering that comment, this probably _was_ the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

Nel woke up some time while he was cooking and was now sitting next to Lilynette equally fascinated by what he was doing as she was. Ichigo let his lips tug into a small smile; the two girls were just like Karin and Yuzu when they had been with him watching their mom cook.

Putting the food onto four plates, he called them over and smiled more when they charged over like starving beasts. Warning them not to eat too fast or else they would feel sick, Ichigo picked the other two plates up and headed towards the small table in the room. He had just set the plates down when a sudden wave of dizziness rushed through him and he would have fallen over if a pair of strong arms hadn't suddenly appeared and supported him.

"Are you alright?" Stark asked, for once all traces of sleepiness wiped from his voice. Nel and Lilynette had paused in their eating, the former looking like she was about to run over while the latter struggled to look like she didn't care but was concerned at the same time.

Waiting for the dizzy feeling to leave, Ichigo said, "I'm fine, I think I just got a little light-headed. Don't worry about it." Nel sniffled and whimpered, "If Itsugo doesn't feel okay then Nel can find something elthe to do. Nel doesn't want Itsugo to puth himthelf too much…" Ichigo patted her on the head and said reassuringly, "I'm fine Nel, seriously. Just keep eating alright?"

Not looking entirely convinced but also not wanting to argue, Nel nodded and she and Lilynette returned to eating, both secretly glancing back at Ichigo who was in the process of thanking Stark. "It's no problem but if you collapse again, I'm going to bring you back to your room" Stark warned. Ichigo nodded in agreement and the mood lightened considerably after that.

Once they were finished eating, Ichigo quickly started a batch of cookies to bake while Nel and Lilynette "played" which looked more like a game to see which of them could wake Stark up the most. About fifteen minutes later, they squealed with delight when they heard the timer ring but pouted when they were told they couldn't eat the cookies until after lunch. Ichigo easily cheered them up by suggesting that they go outside and play in the sand which was where he met Nel's peculiar brothers, Pesche and Dondochakka, who looked like they were about to commit seppuku since they had lost Nel. It was also when he learned what "Endless Tag" was and that Nel was a "masochist." He'd nearly strangled the brothers for that.

A couple hours later, they retired back inside so that they could eat lunch. They had to part with the brothers since they weren't sure if they were allowed inside but they promised to return every day around the same time. Once they had finished eating a light lunch, Ichigo entertained the two girls with stories about his sisters for an hour before finally allowing them to eat the cookies.

The second they bit into them, they were in heaven. "Why don't we have these in Hueco Mundo?" Lilynette roared. Nel whole-heartedly agreed, "Ith so yummy! Itsugo, are you gonna make more?" Ichigo ruffled her hair, "Sorry Nel. No more today but I'll make you guys something just as good tomorrow." Re-energized by the sugar and by the prospect of more sweets later, they began playing again in the hallway when they bumped into something.

Ichigo had just rushed out and was in the process of telling them to play outside if they were going to rough-house when he saw what, or rather who, they had bumped into. Narrowing his eyes a bit, he glared at shit-eating grin on the teal-haired espada's face. "I really didn't want to see your face of all things Grimmjow." The smirk only widened, "Trust me when I say your pathetic weak self was the last thing I wanted to see too shinigami."

Glancing over at Lilynette, he snickered and said with a sneer, "So Stark's the one babysittin' you? Was wonderin' what poor sucker got stuck with the job." Stark's smooth drawl easily countered him, "Is someone jealous Jaggerjacques?" Grimmjow's smug grin was replaced with a dangerous scowl. "Like fuck I'd want to spend all day with bastard-sama's pet" he spat as he gave Stark the finger for good measure. Turning, he called, "Well, I just wanted to bully the pet but if the big bad guard is here, then it's no fun. I'm leaving."

"The berry can make fish dishes too."

Grimmjow froze at Lilynette's idle comment. "Right?" she asked with a devious glint in her eyes which went completely unnoticed by Ichigo. "Yeah, they're not that hard… Why? Do you want some later?" Ichigo asked, completely clueless to the situation. The mischievous glint grew bigger. "Yup, I do~ I'm pretty sure there's this huge tuna that the snaky-eyed bastard caught yesterday. Can we eat that?"

"Sure… By the way, what are you still doing here Grimmjow? Weren't you leaving?" Ichigo's confusion increased when he didn't get a response. He was about to ask again when Stark said tiredly, "Jaggerjacques really likes fish and he hasn't been able to eat any that was cooked since he refuses to eat anything made by Tousen-sama. He probably wants some but his pride won't let him ask."

Ichigo blinked. Grimmjow liked fish? Grimmjow wouldn't ask for any because of pride?

"_Ahahaha! Oh that's fuckin' rich! Thought the blue-haired pansy resembled a kitten but that's too much! Ahahaha!"_

Tuning out Shiro so he wouldn't accidentally start laughing too -for fear of riling the clearly agitated espada- Ichigo decided to try to play peacemaker before Grimmjow really blew it. "I really don't like you Grimmjow but if you really want some, you can…" Grimmjow whipped around and snarled, "Don't you dare give me that pity crap shinigami!"

Ichigo's own temper flared and he stormed over to the espada, glaring up at him as he snapped just as furiously back, "Well excuse me for offering you something you clearly want! I don't even know why I bothered to offer that to a bastard like you, you ass…hole…" Ichigo's vision suddenly swam and black dots speckled everything within eyesight as he pitched forward, unintentionally right into Grimmjow who reflexively caught him. When his brain caught up with his action, Grimmjow angrily demanded, "The fuck are you doing?"

He was about to drop Ichigo when Stark suddenly appeared in front of him, carefully pulling the barely conscious shinigami out of the other espada's grasp. Touching his hand to Ichigo's forehead, he murmured, "He's burning up. I think he has that thing called a fever." Standing up and taking care not to jostle his charge too much, he ordered, "Grimmjow, please go inform Aizen-sama about the boy's condition." Ignoring the protests that ensued, he looked down at Nel and Lilynette. "Lily, can you and your friend go get a bucket of water and some cloth? I will take Ichigo-sama back to his room."

Nodding, the two darted off and Stark gave Grimmjow a warning look, one that promised a bloody affair if Grimmjow didn't get moving. Grimmjow would have loved to go for it but even he knew when it wasn't a good idea to push Stark's buttons. "Che, fine! But only because I don't want to be indebted to the brat." Storming off, a string of profanities and curses could be heard as well as the sound of a cero being fired. Stark just knew that they had lost yet another arrancar to the dangerous fury of Grimmjow's temper and that his lord wouldn't be pleased.

Ichigo tried saying all this wasn't necessary and that he was fine but Stark just murmured softly, "Forgive me Ichigo-sama but I'm going to have to prioritize your health over your wishes at the moment." Lifting Ichigo into his arms, he said, "I'm afraid that I will be going at full speed back to your room. It would be advisable if you are not awake when I do so."

Ichigo blearily nodded in reluctant agreement before closing his eyes. When his breathing evened out, Stark used his sonido so that he could get his lord's precious guest into a comfortable resting place as soon as possible unaware that the concern he felt for his charge's safety was caused by sincere worry and not simply out of obligation.

* * *

><p>AN: The relationship between Ichi and some of the espada will be strictly platonic. I am a fan of Stark x Ichigo and GrimmIchi but neither will be appearing in this story. Of course, Aizen doesn't need to know that *insert evil laughter* This chapter is considerably light since the next couple are going to be a bit heavy. Enjoy~

* * *

><p>To keep up the good cheer… Deleted Scenes!<p>

_The Kitchen_

Asking Stark to hold onto Nel until she woke up, Ichigo busied himself with figuring out where everything was. After a long period of silence filled with pots banging, things falling, and curses, Nel asked curiouslty, "Itsugo? What's taking so long?"

"Some bastard put everything in all the wrong places! I can't find the things I need…"

Silence.

"Grimmjow fucking Jaggerjacques, I am going to friggin' kill you! Do NOT put your… your… _those _toys in the friggin' kitchen cabinets you perverted ass!"

_Straight Faces Take 1_

Ichigo blinked. Grimmjow liked fish? Grimmjow wouldn't ask for any because of pride?

He couldn't hold it in. Bursting into laughter, he was soon followed by Lilinette and they both gasped for breath well Grimmjow hissed at them like an angry cat. "Oh shaddup both of you! It ain't that funny!"

"S-sorry Grimm… we'll do it right next time" Ichigo gasped out.

_Straight Faces Take 2_

Ichigo blinked. Grimmjow liked fish? Grimmjow wouldn't ask for any because of pride?

The sound of muffled laughter behind the camera set Ichigo and Lilinette off again making Grimmjow a very unhappy camper.

"Goddammit Nnoitra! Tell your giggling boyfriend over there to can it! And you two, stop laughing!"

"B-but…*snicker*… Shinji's the only one… *snicker*… who's got… such a weird laugh…"

Stark yawned, "We ever gonna get through this scene? I have a nap I need to catch."

As Nnoitra howled with laughter, Grimmjow muttered sullenly, "I want new co-workers…"


	14. Fevers and Sickness: Realizations

Ichigo felt a cool hand press lightly on his forehead as he forced himself to push past the grogginess he felt which was starting to feel like a routine occurrence. Honestly, how many times had he fainted now? Two? Three? Setting aside his wounded pride for the moment, he slowly took in his surroundings. At first, all he could make out were undefined colorful blurry shapes but after a couple seconds, the shapes morphed into Gin and Nel's familiar faces, relief evident on the latter's when she noticed he was awake while the former retained his mask of cheerfulness.

"How ya feelin' Berry-tan?"

Let's see… pounding headache, overheating of the body, throat feeling a bit sore… Yup, Ichigo had what could only be a minor case of a cold. "Like shit" he finally replied, his voice slightly raspier than usual. Gin chuckled and said in a mock stern tone, "Watch your language young'un, there are children present."

Nel, who was now alleviated of the fear that Ichigo was dying, beamed and announced proudly, "Don't worry about Nel! Nel alweady knowth about sthuff like masochwism and potty words."

Ichigo groaned, "Remind me to kill her brothers the next time I see them." Before Gin could comment that doing something like that would only upset the small child, the door opened and Lilynette poked her head in. "Hey snaky-eyed bas- I mean Gin-sama, how's our charge? He isn't dead is he?" Ichigo blinked and looked at Gin questioningly, "Do they not know what a cold is? Or in my case, a fever?" Nel bounced on Gin's lap as she explained with as many big words as her child-like mind could come up with, "People here don't weally get shick. Me thinks Touthen-sama was the onwy one that got shick once but aftwer he was taken care of by Sthayel-sama, no one wanted to get shick sho evwyone's been healthy."

Ichigo didn't really want to know why such a thing came about, especially if it was enough to freak out hollows so he dropped the subject, making sure to thank Nel for her explanation which made her grin proudly. Waving to Lilynette, he called, "I'm fine Lilynette, it's just a minor cold so don't worry about it." She muttered something about not being worried before ducking back out into the hallway, no doubt to join up with her counterpart where he was hopefully standing guard although the likelihood of that was slim.

Letting out a soft exhale after she left, Ichigo stared up at the ceiling before asking sullenly, "How long am I going to be stuck in bed for?" Gin tapped his chin thoughtfully and then glanced down at Nel, "Hmm how long did Aizen-sama say? One week at least?" Ichigo would have bolted into a sitting position if it wouldn't have made his head spin so instead, he settled with an exclamation of, "He said what?"

"It's exactly as Gin said, you are to remain in bed for one week minimum Kurosaki-kun and I will not accept any objections."

They all looked at the door once more as Aizen gracefully made his way in. _'Does he really have to walk like a freaking noble all time?'_

_"Jealous kingy?"_

_'No, just wondering if he ever walks normally.'_

Shiro didn't respond so Ichigo returned his focus back to the outside world and blinked when he noticed everyone was looking at him expectantly. "Um, sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Did someone ask me something?" '_And wait a sec, why am I apologizing? Why should I care if I wasn't listening to whatever my enemy was saying?' _Gin snickered and replied, "You've got guts Berry-tan~ Not many would ignore a question from Aizen-sama himself y'know."

Ichigo felt heat rise to his cheeks and he pointedly refused to look at Aizen as he muttered, "I said sorry didn't I? Anyway, what did you say?" Aizen raised an eyebrow in amusement, "Proper etiquette dictates you look at whoever you are speaking to Kurosaki-kun." Ichigo resisted the urge to childishly stick his tongue out so he stuck to the next best thing: an impatient glare. Aizen's amused look only seemed to gain more mirth at his actions but he had the decency to repeat his question, "I asked how you were feeling Kurosaki-kun."

Figuring the response he gave Gin wouldn't fly so well with Hueco Mundo's ruler and his odd obsession with manners, Ichigo shrugged and replied, "I've felt better but this isn't anything I can't handle."

_'As if he actually cares...'_

Aizen looked at him calculatingly which made him wonder if he had somehow read his mind and was affronted by his thoughts but the notion was disregarded when Aizen said, "Gin, Nel, would you two give us some privacy? There are some things I wish to discuss with Kurosaki-kun alone." His words seemed like a request but his tone indicated it clearly wasn't up for discussion so Gin scooped Nel up and said cheerfully, "Looks like we're gettin' kicked out so we'll see ya later Berry-tan!" Ichigo was half-inclined to demand that they stay since it was undoubtedly going to be incredibly awkward with just Aizen and him but the duo was already gone, the door closing behind them with a quiet thud and resigning him to his fate.

Shifting a bit uneasily in the suddenly slightly awkward atmosphere, Ichigo fiddled with his blanket before asking, "Well? What did you want?" When he didn't get a response, he could feel annoyance swell up inside as he turned to face Aizen to demand that he get a move on it but his words were silenced when Aizen's lips met his in a spontaneous kiss. Turning beet red in a flash, he shoved Aizen away and covered his mouth, trying to ignore the small voice in his head that demanded another taste.

"Wh- what the hell are you doing?"

Aizen smirked, "I couldn't help myself, you looked quite adorable sulking and playing with your blanket with your hands. Besides that, our previous deal is still going on so my actions shouldn't be so surprising." Ichigo was about to bite out an angry retort when Aizen abruptly said in an oddly sincere tone, "I apologize for not having a suitable healer of Unohana-taicho's caliber to watch over you. Ms. Inoue volunteered but I thought allowing your body to recover naturally would be more beneficial for your health so I refused her help. I thought this would also force you to take a small break to relax after the past recent events since it seems you insist on moving around."

Ichigo felt seriously puzzled, both by the sudden switch in topic and by Aizen's words. It sounded like the man put a ridiculous amount of thought into his recovery process even though he was only suffering from a minor cold and maybe a little bit of stress. He almost wanted to say it sounded like Aizen actually did care about his health and that this wasn't some weird scheme he was cooking up to try to gain his trust. Of course, when the bastard insisted on putting on that poker face, it was really hard to tell. What was with shinigamis and their need to look indifferent?

Scowling, Ichigo decided not to comment since he wasn't entirely sure how to. It wasn't like he could say something snarky when the man had clearly gone to such lengths to ensure his well-being but it also didn't mean he had to be all friendly with him either. Plus, it didn't seem like Aizen was looking for any particular responses since he wasnt looking at him expectantly.

Rather, he almost seemed... relaxed.

Ichigo really wished the silence they were in wasn't as comfortable as it felt since it implied he was finding some enjoyment in his enemy's company and that was a huge no-no. A knock on the door broke the quiet much to his relief as Stark poked his head in and said apologetically, "Sorry for disturbing you Aizen-sama, Ichigo-sama. Gin-sama has sent you some... tea... I think. Should I send it in?"

The "I think" part worried both but to Ichigo's mild surprise, Aizen ordered Stark to bring it in. When a tray with two cups of some strange liquid was placed on a table nearby, Aizen looked like he really wanted to retract his statement although his actions dictated otherwise. As he took a sip from one of the cups, Ichigo's curiosity finally got the better of him. "Why do you drink that if you know it's going to taste... for lack of a better word, awful? Couldn't you just throw it away or pretend you never received it?"

Aizen paused in his drinking before setting the cup down and after a moment of hesitation, replied. "Gin is terrible at cooking but his love for it makes it near impossible to reject his efforts. Though he never improves, one develops an immunity to the less than favorable taste of his culinary, especially when its consumed on a daily basis. "

He took another delicate sip before saying more to himself than anything, "Gin is different from my other subordinates. His skills, his loyalty, and his personality are on a completely different level than anyone else I've met." Ichigo could agree with that; he had never seen anybody who seemed similar to Gin, the closest resemblance he could name being Urahara since they both had a slightly twisted personality and a love for teasing. Looking at Aizen again, he blinked when he noticed something different in the normally completely neutral eyes.

There was pride and if he wasn't seeing things, even affection.

"You're really fond of him aren't you?" Aizen actually looked startled as Ichigo braved a small sip of the liquid, grimacing as he did so before adding, "You sort of have the same look in your eyes like Zangetsu-ossan does when he's teaching me something. It's like you have an intimate student-mentor relationship with him that's almost like a father and son. It's kind of unexpected." Aizen observed him silently and it made Ichigo want to squirm. He wondered if his assumption was wrong but then the man abruptly said, "I thought Ms. Inoue was the observant one but perhaps I underestimated you. Did you make such an accurate connection based solely on what you glimpsed in my eyes?"

Inwardly relieved he hadn't misjudged what he saw, Ichigo shrugged and said, "My mom once told me there were three ways to tell what a person is feeling: through their actions, their words, or their eyes. Honest and/or blunt people usually just say what they feel and are generally easiest to understand. People who are more closed off, very private, or plain dishonest usually reflect their true emotions through their eyes. And then people who are sort of in between those two use actions and maybe one of the other two depending on whichever way their personality lean towards. There are exceptions of course but that's the way I read people so I've become used to watching these things closely."

"Me personally, I lean more towards the blunt side since I'm really bad at hiding what I feel. There's no point in being completely closed off if I seem to always wear my heart on my sleeve."

_'Why am I telling him this? Actually, why am I even having this conversation in the first place? And observant my ass, I didn't even notice one of my friends had a crush on me until she spelled it out.'_

Feeling another blush creeping into his cheeks, Ichigo took another sip from the cup to hide his embarrassment. He was almost positive Aizen was going to say something about what he just said that would be teasing or piss him off. He was not expecting Aizen to utter something so softly, he wasn't sure he even heard it.

"I find that one of your more endearing characteristics."

Ichigo blinked. Had his mind finally snapped and now he was hallucinating things? Or did he just hear a legit flattering comment from the man who was hell-bent on becoming a god?

Oh wait, this was probably part of the game they were still 'playing.' Aizen probably said that to catch him off guard. Oddly enough, Ichigo felt hurt that Aizen didn't mean any of the occassional, admittedly sweet things he said to him. The only thing he could trust as true was the random moments when Aizen lowered his guard and showed what he was really thinking through body language or when he talked about Gin with a parental affection that reminded Ichigo of his dad when he was serious.

_'Gah! I'm being stupid. Who cares if he's just saying pretty words that don't mean shit? A bastard is a bastard and that's not going to change.'_

But bastards didn't get that sort of look when they talked about someone they genuinely cared about. Bastards didn't visit their prisoners when they were sick nor did they care if their prisoner was being attacked. Neither did they assign their strongest fighter to act as a bodyguard for the prisoner when they decided to take a walk.

Ichigo quickly stopped that dangerous line of thinking. If he continued, he'd start seeing Aizen in a different light and that would mean game over. He couldn't afford to make the same mistakes the shinigamis made in taking the man's false kindness as real or it would weaken his resolve to defeat him. He had to remember that he was the shinigamis' final hope for defeating him if all else failed. He couldn't disappoint them, not when they were working so hard to protect his hometown even if it was a struggle just to survive.

But even as he repeated all this in his mind, he could feel his will wavering and his heart yearning to accept that this traitorous man was more than just lies and cruelty, that he was also capable of caring for others and held a certain kindness in the depths of his soul. And Ichigo was suddenly struck by a revelation that was both foreign and terrifying; he was looking for reasons to justify his desire to believe in Aizen. Not as the betrayer of Soul Society and not as lord of Hueco Mundo but as Aizen Sousuke, a man who's heart was like a labyrinth and who's feelings were caged in by an iron wall.

He wanted to dig a hole into the deep recesses of Aizen's soul and free the small light that he was positive still existed there, hidden beneath layers upon layers of pride and arrogance. He just wasn't sure if he'd be able to crawl back out with his determination to kill the man intact.

He was stirred out of his thoughts when Aizen stood up and said, "I would like to stay longer but I am already behind on some pressing matters that need to be addressed so I will have to leave. Gin will be in charge of watching over you so feel free to ask him for anything that you need." He raised his hand, as if he meant to touch Ichigo's cheek, but something akin to uncertainty flickered in his eyes and he pulled away at the last moment. "Rest well and recover quickly Kurosaki-kun."

With that said, he turned and walked out of the room but Ichigo couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be something heavy weighing him down and the sight reminded him of the time when he had been troubled by Shiro before Rukia kicked him back into shape, both figuratively and literally in a way. He was then struck by a different memory, one of his mother and what she once told him when he was younger, her voice its usual soft tone but with a touch of urgency mixed in. It was that urgency that told little Ichigo that what she was saying was important and must be remembered for the rest of his life.

It had been exactly one year before her death and just like that tragic day, it had been raining but the pattering sound from the precipitation as it hit the windows had been soothing, adding to the atmosphere of surreal tranquility and subdued importance as his mother spoke while cradling him in her arms on a couch.

_"Ichigo my dear child, everyone carries a burden as they progress in life and it only gets heavier with the passage of time. That is why it's important to share the weight with others. Relying on them, trusting them, loving them, believing in them, that is what it means to be a compassionate friend."_

_"But there are people who cannot do these things, who refuse to do them because they have lost the ability to believe in others. And it is these people that ones such as yourself must open your heart too. You may be hurt by these people, even betrayed by them, but that is what it means to live. Friends and enemies, happiness and sadness, thrills and fears, all these are what makes a person come alive. _

_"People can exist by themselves but they can never truly live as long as they remain alone because friends and enemies are the ones who provide these sensations. Those who are alone can not experience the same hurt that those who live alongside others but they can also never experience the same joys and this realization creates bitterness and apathy in them that compels them to hurt others."_

_"You will not understand this now since you are so young but always remember this: in the end, these pitiful people are the ones who ultimately have only one true wish that is buried away in their hearts. And that is..."_

Her words faded away as Ichigo's consciousness succombed to the arresting pull of sleep and everything fell away into a dreamless slumber, the words now merely a faint echo in the edge of his subconscious and waiting to re-emerge for when the time called for them.

* * *

><p>AN: So this is the first of three super speedy updates so enjoy~ The second one will probably be out either tomorrow or the day after. Look forward to it!

* * *

><p>To keep the good cheer up... Deleted Scenes!<p>

_You'll Get It Eventually_

Before Gin could comment, the door opened and Lilynette stuck her head in. "Hey snaky-eyed bas- I mean foxy- I mean Ass- Gah! I give up! Screw this, why do you have so many nicknames you slanty-eyed, snakish, foxy asshole of a bastard!"

Gin beamed and said, "Wow~ Color me impressed Lily-chan! You managed ta stick all your lovin' nicknames for me into one big one! I feel so appreciated~"

"That's some weird form of appreciation and love..." Stark muttered as Lilynette ranted about having to redo the scene all because she couldn't get Gin's name right.

"Calm down Lily, you'll get it right... eventually."

"What the hell d'you mean by 'eventually' you lazy bastard?"

_Gin's Cooking Once More_

The "I think" part worried both but to Ichigo's mild surprise, Aizen ordered Stark to bring it in. When a tray with two cups of some strange liquid was placed on a table nearby, Aizen looked like he really wanted to retract his statement and with good reason too.

The liquid was fluorescent pink with blue bubbles and what looked like a jellyfish floating in it decorated with small pieces of lettuce and dandelion stems. In one short phrase, it looked positively inedible.

Aizen and Ichigo stared at the drinks before the latter said slowly, "Isn't this different from in the script? I thought it said there was only supposed to be blue bubbles and dandelion stems. What's the rest of this?"

Gin cheerfully called from where he was watching, "Sorry Berry-tan! I screwed up the recipe a bit so it came out a little different than usual~"

...

"How the hell do you screw up a screw-up?"


	15. Confessions of the Silver Fox: Regret

The next couple of days drifted by without incident. Ichigo had completely forgotten about his dream by the next day and had spent his awake moments reassuring Nel and Lilynette that he would be fine soon or talking to Gin and Stark if the sleepy man visited. Ichigo had been quite amused when Lilynette told him that Grimmjow had become their latest play-buddy despite how odd that sounded and the peculiar image that it brought.

Today, Ichigo was listening to Nel as she told him stories of her games with her brothers since Lilynette had to stand guard with Stark due to the latter having fallen asleep. Gin was just silently watching with an amused grin on his face as Nel energetically waved her arms to emphasize a particularly grand part of her adventures. Ichigo looked hard pressed to decide which places in the story he was supposed to be amused and which he was supposed to be worried by. Nel apparently wasn't kidding when she claimed to be a masochist.

Gin's smile widened as he watched Ichigo struggle more before he saved him by turning to Nel and saying, "Nel-chan would ya do me a favor? Lily-chan looked like she was goin' to start killin' someone if she wasn't entertained in the next five seconds. Go an' play with her and let poor Berry-tan get a break from your excitin' tales would ya?" Nel bobbed her head up and down vigorously before she hopped down from her perch on the bed and bolted out of the room. A moment later, the muffled sounds of her and Lilynette talking could be heard.

After listening to the girls talk and then hearing the tell-tale signs of them playing, Ichigo sighed and said, "Thanks, I wasn't sure how long I could keep listening before I banned her from playing with those brothers of hers." The silver-haired man merely smiled some more so Ichigo asked tiredly, "Did you want to tell me something? That's why you sent her out wasn't it?" Gin raised his eyebrows in mild surprise, "I keep forgettin' you're more astute than ya look Berry-tan. You keep catchin' me off guard when ya notice lil' things like that." Ichigo scowled and wondered if that implied he looked like an idiot but before he could ask, Gin handed him a cup of water which he accepted gratefully. He wasn't sure if his voice would have lasted unless he got some fluid down it considering all the stories he'd shared with Nel prior to hers. As he was drinking, Gin suddenly said, "I ain't never seen Aizen-sama so unsettled before."

Ichigo blinked blankly at him as he lowered his cup. _'Aizen was unsettled? Since when?' _"Why was he disturbed?" Gin sighed and Ichigo could have sworn he muttered something about dense, thick-headed kids but before he could act defensive, Gin reiterated himself, "Lemme rephrase my earlier statement, you're more astute than I thought _at times_. At others, your obliviousness is the one that throws me for a loop." Ichigo didn't really have a comeback for that since he couldn't exactly deny being a bit dense after learning that Orihime had had a crush on him for months and he'd never noticed.

"Fine, I'm dense. So what's that got to do with Aizen being disturbed?" Gin shook his head before flicking Ichigo in the forehead. "You're the reason why Berry-tan, the reason why he's been actin' strange." Rubbing the little sore spot which was so not helping his recovery process, Ichigo gave him an incredulous look, "Right, I unsettled the guy with a god-complex and a poker face that would make any gambler jealous. Are you going to tell me pigs can fly too?"

"I'm not jokin' Berry-tan."

Ichigo was about to make another sarcastic comment when he realized Gin's tone was different from before. There was no light jest like usual, only complete seriousness. Feeling a bit of his doubt ebb away and a tad guilty for dismissing Gin's comment so quickly, Ichigo ran a hand through his hair and said, "Alright, I'll hear you out. What makes you think this?"

Pleased Ichigo was actually listening, Gin sat in a thoughtful silence before asking, "Did you know one of the espadas is known for bein' a genius scientist?" Not quite sure where this was going, Ichigo shook his head. "Well he exists and usually he's the one who takes care of medical situations. Makes sense since he would be the one who would know most about medicines an' stuff right?" Another nod. "Only problem is, he's a complete nut. Kinda like Kurotsuchi-taicho in that sense if you want a better grasp of how bad this guy is."

Dear god, another Kurotsuchi? And in charge of taking care of the sick or wounded? That was not a pleasant thought. "Aizen-sama has never assigned anybody else to act as a caretaker for someone ill. Granted, it ain't a common occurrence but even Tousen had to go to him when he was feelin' a bit under the weather and he's the only other person really close to Aizen-sama other than me." Oh, this was a more in-depth version of what Nel had told him the first day he was sick.

"You are the only one who Aizen-sama wouldn't subject to Szayel and even went so far as to assign me to ya. He trusts me more than anyone else which means he really wanted to make sure you were well taken care of."

Ichigo could only stare at him in shock as Gin added, "When Aizen-sama heard you'd fallen ill, the first thing he ordered was for Szayel to not be notified. He even said it was absolutely forbidden for Szayel to step foot in your room." Gin placed a hand on Ichigo's head, "You're precious enough to him that he was prepared ta take care of you himself even if that meant droppin' everythin' he needed ta get done to do it. That's actually why he came here that day a while back. he was hell-bent on takin' care of you. Luckily, I was able to talk some sense into him and he agreed to let me watch over ya but the fact remains that you were the cause of him actin' so out of character."

An almost bitter smile appeared on Gin's face as he murmured more to himself than Ichigo, "I guess even Aizen-sama has a heart." Ichigo looked at him silently before asking, "Gin, can you open your eyes for me?" Gin cocked his head a bit curiously as Ichigo said, "There's something I want to see and I can't if you don't open your eyes."

For a while, it looked like Gin wasn't going to do it but slowly, his eyelids lifted to reveal icy blue orbs. "You're really somethin' else Berry-tan. Normally, I don't open my eyes unless I'm pissed or extremely irritated. I can count the number of times on my hand that I actually willingly let someone see them when I was calm. So? Are my eyes scary? That's what people usually say when they seem 'em."

"They're not scary."

Scoffing at Gin's puzzled expression, he downed the rest of the water before saying, "I think Byakuya's are scarier but that's probably just because he's always glaring. Anyway, I was actually only checking to see if you were being honest since eyes are supposed to be the 'windows of your soul' or something like that." Gin's smile reappeared and he closed his eyes again as he asked playfully, "And was my soul honest?"

"Yeah. But it also seemed kind of sad."

When Gin didn't say anything, Ichigo flushed a bit and said quickly, "But what do I know? It was probably just my imagination running wild or the fever." Fiddling with his blanket, he mumbled in embarrassment, "Right, this is really awkward. Forget I said anything, I'm clearly-"

"You really know how ta hit the nail on the head don't ya?"

Looking up in surprise, he became aware that Gin's smile had lost that light-hearted teasing edge it always had. If anything, his smile seemed almost sad. "Looks like my hunch was right. If it's you, I guess I don't mind tellin' you everythin' but ya gotta stay still for it."

He was about to ask him what he meant by that when his vision suddenly swam and he toppled over, landing in Gin's waiting arms. He could see Gin pick up the glass that he had dropped with one hand while the other supported Ichigo's suddenly useless body and his mind managed to put two and two together although it was getting harder to form long coherent thoughts. "What did…?"

Gin gently laid him back down on the bed comfortably as he said, "Don't worry Berry-tan, it's nothin' that'll hurt ya. It's just gonna put you into a deep sleep after a while. There's somethin' I need to get off my chest and I don't want you to be able to react to what I'm gonna say since you might try ta stop me. Sorry 'bout this."

Ichigo was seriously going to beat the crap out of Gin for this. If he was supposed to act like some sort of therapist then at the very least, Gin shouldn't feel the need to drug him. Unless… what he was going to say was going to make Ichigo pissed off or upset. If that was the case, then he could see why Gin was doing this although it didn't make him any less annoyed by the situation. It actually made him more concerned that Gin was going to such lengths to incapacitate him. Struggling to remain relatively awake despite the drowsiness tugging at his eyelids, he realized Gin was starting to speak.

"To be honest, I wasn't always loyal to Aizen-sama. In fact, I hated him so much I was willin' to do anythin' to kill him even if it meant pretendin' to be his admirer and betrayin' all of Soul Society just to get close enough to him to attack at the best moment. He did somethin' unforgivable to someone I really cared about an' I wanted him to pay." Ichigo felt some of his sleepiness wane due to the surprise that comment instilled. He had never even considered the possibility that Gin might have a grudge against Aizen considering how happy he seemed every day and by looking at their rather close relationship. Sensing that there was a reason for this, he looked at Gin through the haze of sleepiness and continued to listen.

"I guess somethin' started to change when I began learnin' under him. Before, no matter what I did, I was always criticized since I wasn't from a noble family… ostracized for bein' a Rukongai rat that outdid the rich kids. Aizen-sama was the first person to praise me when I did somethin' right. I knew it was probably just 'cause he wanted to have my genius talents in his grasp but that didn't stop me from feelin' proud every time he told me 'Good job' or 'Excellent work.' It was the only time I felt truly appreciated which was ironic to the max."

This wasn't adding up at all, especially taking into consideration what Aizen had told him before about his feelings regarding Gin. If anything, this sounded like they were misunderstanding each other completely and Ichigo was starting to get a really bad feeling about this.

"An' it's because of these weak thoughts that I lost everything. I abandoned the one person who probably honestly loved me an' I lost the resolve to kill the man who hurt that person. What should have been false loyalty turned into somethin' real and the worst part is that I ain't regrettin' it even though I've made a stupid mistake. I left the woman I loved who loved me back for a man I began to see as an irreplaceable mentor who in turn only sees me as somethin' to use an' throw away. Genius my foot, I'm just a fool."

_You're wrong._

"There are so many ways I can hurt Aizen-sama now but I don't wanna involve a good kid like you. Pathetic ain't it? I finally have Aizen-sama's weakness right now an' I can't even use it 'cause I've grown fond of you myself. I also can't kill him myself since I would hesitate an' then he'd kill me an' that would just be a pathetic way to go. An' I can't even go back to Soul Society since I'd just be executed by the other captains. I don't want to die at the hands of some person I barely know which is why I'm gonna be selfish and ask that person to do somethin' that'll hurt her badly. But this is the only way I can clear up the last regret I have."

_Don't. Don't do what I think you're going to do._

"Aizen-sama thinks it's about time to launch a small attack on the shinigamis. Nothin' big, just somethin' to keep them on their toes. I volunteered to go. The attack is gonna be on the shinigamis in your hometown but I'll keep it away from the civilians so don't worry 'bout any normal humans getting' involved. I'm just gonna bring a few lesser hollows and maybe a few arrancars to keep Hitsugaya-kun an' his team distracted. There's only one person I want to see an' only one person I want to be the one to bring everythin' to an end."

_That's not fair. It's not fair to Aizen… to you… to her._

Gin let out a small laugh that sounded more forced than natural, "She's probably gonna cry again but at least it'll be for the last time. Honestly, she acts all tough but deep down she's a pretty big crybaby when it comes to me which is pretty weird since I don't deserve her tears an' I definitely don't deserve her love."

"He… does… care."

Gin paused in his rambling and glanced down at Ichigo as he fought against the drug in an attempt to speak, "Aizen… cares… You said… I'm the only one… he cares about but… that's not… true… It's you…" The cool hand he had felt the past few days check his fever gently rested on his head again. "You really are a good kid Berry-tan. You're one of the few people who ain't afraid of me or looks down on me. An' you even have such a saddened expression for someone like me even though I've made your life pretty difficult. It's kinda nice that I've made it onto your long list of people you care about."

"But I've made up my mind. This is the way I have to go an' I'm gonna go with pride. Aizen-sama doesn't need me anymore an' it's high time I paid my end of this bargain. I gotta step up an' take responsibility for my actions."

_How is this taking responsibility you ass? You're running away and making _her_ deal the final blow._

Gin bowed his head and said lowly, "Berry-tan, I'm gonna warn you right now as someone who went through the same thing you're goin' through now: love ain't anythin' like what books say. It's a beautiful nightmare, a bittersweet dream, an' in the end, you're gonna wonder if it was even real. You gotta be prepared to end it with your own hands or else you'll drown. Romeo an' Juliet had it easy compared to you an' me."

Ichigo had no idea what he was talking about since he was pretty damn sure they were talking about Gin and what he was about to stupidly do the last time he checked. Why was Gin suddenly talking about the famous tragic love story? He had a feeling it had nothing to do with Gin and the 10th division's lieutenant but he sure as hell wasn't in any relationship with someone he couldn't be with. He found himself listening intently anyway and filed everything Gin said away to think abot later although that was proving quite difficult with the drug's effects getting stronger as it started kicking in.

"In real life, a forbidden love ends in three ways. One is when both lovers die like that tragedy by Shakespeare and another is where they both live but at the price of their love. The last one is the worst and it's the one I'm gonna end up in: an ending where one person is dead and the other is in tears and left to pick up the pieces."

_Then don't go you idiot!_

"Well, I gave my words of wisdom an' hopefully you'll remember all that when you wake up." Gin pulled out a watch frm his robe and murmured, "Its gonna be time for me to go soon since I asked Aizen-sama to let me attack tomorrow. I have to get ready but Stark an' Lilynette are guardin' you so don't worry about gettin' attacked in your sleep. You'll sleep through tomorrow so by the time you wake up, I'll be gone an' you should be healthy. Consider it a farewell gift of sorts although this ain't exactly the best goodbye in history."

_Please don't go._

"I wish I could have stayed around long enough to see you. You've been changin' things here; it seems so much more… lighter and alive, like there ain't just mindless obedience and emptiness anymore. Ever since you and Orihime-chan came, it's almost like this hollow world is becomin' filled with somethin' new. Don't let my leavin' change that."

_Don't… _"Don't... leave…"

Gin smiled and said, "I'm amazed you're still awake Berry-tan. I'm touched but just let it go. I ain't changin' my mind, not even if you give me such a pitiful look like that. I really wish we could have had a proper goodbye but I think if that happened, I'd chicken out and stay. Remember what I said okay? An' make sure the hollows you've befriended don't go back to bein' hollow. Heh, a bad pun as a goodbye, how sad is that?" The cool hand ruffled his hair affectionately before it pulled away for the final time.

"Bye... Ichigo-kun."

Ichigo mustered as much energy as he could and tried to grab onto Gin's coat but he was already out of hand's reach. His fingertips just barely grazed the tail end of the white coat and it felt like he'd let something precious slip from his grasp. As darkness finally started to overcome his senses, he could barely see Gin turn and wave with his usual smile plastered on his face before everything faded away, one final plea on the tip of his tongue.

_Don't go._

* * *

><p>AN: Wow that was really depressing to write. I love Gin! I don't want him to die! Unfortunately, this is angst so something sad has to happen. And there will be plenty more angst so look forward to it~ as much as you can for something depressing at least…

* * *

><p>These seem so out of place but time for Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Drink Carefully_

As he was drinking, Gin suddenly said, "I ain't never seen Aizen-sama so unsettled before."

_Cough. Choke. Gasp._

Gin looked puzzled and while Ichigo struggled to get his respiratory system functioning properly with the water going down the wrong way, he pulled out a packet and skimmed through it.

"Cough, choke, gasp? Was that in the script?"

_Fever_

"Aizen… cares… You said… I'm the only one… he cares about but… that's not… true… It's you… or was it Tousen…? Or was it… that rainbow pony…"

Gin frowned and put his hand on Ichigo's forehead again before smacking his forehead with his palm. "Is Berry-tan supposed to feel like he's got a fever of 103 degrees?"

"103?" Rukia exclaimed as she threw the camera she was holding aside (and into Renji's face) and dashed over. Checking with a thermometer, she verified he was indeed legitimately sick and began shaking him back and forth while demanding to know why he was such an idiot and why he thought it'd be a good idea to come if he was sick.

"Rukia-chan, Rukia-chan?" Gin asked as he poked her.

"What?"

"I think you made him pass out."

"…"

"Oh my god! Ichigo are you okay? Why'd you pass out?"

'Gee… we wonder…'


	16. Final Moments: Selfishness

There was a nice breeze of fresh air mingled with a tinge of scents frequently found in cities when Gin stepped out of the gargantuan and into the outskirts of the pleasant little town of Karakura . He could sort of see why Kurosaki Ichigo was so adamant about protecting it- there was a thrum of life and warmth and even a strange power flowing throughout it that he wasn't sure was there before. Idly wondering if he was just imagining it, he said lightly to the figures behind him, "Why don't all ya hollows go out an' play? Remember, your only targets are the shinigamis ya'll hate so much. If I found out you disobeyed my orders… I'll kill ya myself."

Satisfied that they understood what to do, he waved a hand and they released a burst of dark tainted energy before leaping off. Gin smirked when he felt the tell-tale signs of other reiatsus spiking as the shinigamis became alerted to the enemy signals and rushed to meet the hollows before they could attack innocent people. A gust of wind blew by, causing his hair to dance in its wake as he tilted his head up at the blue sky which was beginning to hide behind thick dark clouds. Enjoying the quiet moment a little more, he finally faced the town again and pulled out a little tube with a button on it, hesitating for only a second before pushing it with a wry grin on his face.

"Now then… shall we see if the secret signal still works?"

* * *

><p>"Four adjuchas and three arrancar level hollows just went in different directions taicho" Matsumoto said, her former cheerful laziness completely gone as she watched little red blinking dots on the map installed in her communicator. Toushiro frowned before directing his lieutenant and the two 11th division members with him, "It might be trap but we need to stop all of them. Split up and follow one, all of you-"<p>

From somewhere near the edge of the town, a very familiar reiatsu briefly flared up before vanishing.

"Oi, oi, that reiatsu just now…" Ikakku said.

"It can't be…" Toushiro hissed angrily.

"…Gin…" Rangiku breathed softly.

The reiatsu flared again but this time, from a completely different location jolting them back into action. "Ayasegawa, Madarame, Matsumoto, go hunt down those arrancars." Swiftly pulling out his communicator, he spoke the instant it was picked up, "Abarai, you and Kuchiki are to go take care of the adjuchas. Ishida and Yasutora should be able to help you. Be careful, Ichimaru Gin is here and his location keeps changing. I'm going to try to find him but be on guard in case you run into him first. That applies to the rest of you." This was directed at the shinigamis with him, more concerned for his lieutenant than the others.

"Matsumoto, if you run into him, alert me immediately." For a split second, she hesitated before she gave a sharp "Yes sir!" Ignoring the slightly uneasy feeling in his gut, Toushiro dispatched them and they were instantly gone. Watching Matsumoto leave, he felt another stab of uneasiness before turning and leaping in the direction he had last felt Gin.

* * *

><p>'Why? Why is Gin here? What is he planning…?"<p>

These questions and many more raced through Matsumoto's mind as she followed the trail of the arrancar that had begun moving last. The occasional burst of Gin's reiatsu kept flashing in all sorts of places and she wondered how in the world he was changing location so quickly and why it seemed like the flares were appearing after the same intervals of time in a pattern. It almost seemed like a signal of sorts. And where the heck was this hollow going? Rather than go into the town, it seemed to be going into the forest near the town which was odd since she most certainly did not sense any reiatsus in that area.

"_Hey Ran! Wanna try somethin' interestin'? Let's make a secret code just between the two of us!"_

Another flare of reiatsu far away in one of the suburbs of the town this time but she wasn't really paying attention to it anymore as her memory started piecing things together.

"_When I make a pattern with my reiatsu like this…"_

Now she knew where this hollow was going. And if her hunch was right…

"… _Go to the largest tree you can see and I'll be waiting there."_

Then the hollow she was following wasn't a hollow at all.

Slowing down, she stopped in front of a large oak tree that towered over the rest of the foliage. The rumbling of thunder could be heard in the distance and the vibrant green leaves blocked any remaining light, making the area even darker. It was like a whole other world separated from the real one and she wondered if this was some surreal dream that she was going to wake up from soon. That notion was broken however, when a familiar silver-haired man stepped out from behind the tree, his white clothes, pale skin, and silver hair standing out even more in the dark foliage and making him seem almost like an apparition.

"You remembered… I dunno if I should be happy that you still have those silly memories or disappointed."

"_If you run into him, alert me immediately." _

Her taicho's words ran through her mind but no matter how hard she tried, her body refused to send up a spike of reiatsu. Instead, she listened as he explained how his plan worked, as if he was having a casual conversation with a friend. "I brought with me one really fast lil' hollow and gave him an invention that releases small bursts of samples of my reiatsu which is what your dear taicho is chasin' after right now. As for me, it was pretty easy to carry my own tool that releases arrancar level reiatsu. It was a bit of a gamble since any of the others could have come but… I knew you were the only one who could ever find me."

There was another low rumble before a strong gust of wind blew through the area, sending a trail of leaves flying through the air before they settled down again, creating another dream-like silence. Gin tilted his head as he observed Matsumoto's still form before he asked, "What's wrong? You're awfully quiet, I was expectin' you to hit me or at the very least attack. I am your enemy after all."

"You're right."

The quiet statement was said with a kido spell that slammed into Gin, sending him crashing to the ground. Before he could sit up, a sharp sword point was at his neck, pricking it and sending a thin trickle of blood dripping from the wound. His grin never faded as he rested his head on the ground and stared up at the one woman he'd ever cared for, subtly giving her easier access to his neck in a silent invitation. She grit her teeth before murmuring, "You are my enemy."

Her voice started out soft but gradually increased in volume as she continued, "You betrayed Soul Society and manipulated Hinamori and Kira and you attacked my taicho. You've been branded as a threat to Soul Society and as a shinigami, it is my duty to either capture you or kill you on sight." The sword was suddenly gone from his neck as Matsumoto plopped down on her knees and covered her face with her hands, her voice wavering as she continued, "But as Matsumoto Rangiku, you… were never my enemy. Not before, not now, and not ever. Why Gin? Why did you lea-"

Thin but strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her towards a warm chest, silencing the rest of her sentence. Raising her arms, she was about to push him away when he suddenly said lowly, "You never change do ya? Here I was, tryin' to get ya to hate me an' there you are, blatantly statin' all my attempts were futile. You always were a strange woman… Ran."

The nostalgic nickname shattered the thin barrier separating Matsumoto's duties and emotions as she gave in to the longing ache she'd felt since she was first left by Gin as a child and buried her face in his chest, valiantly struggling to keep the wetness in her eyes from falling. "Why did you leave? Why did you do all those things just to come back and say all these things now? Do you hate me or do you like me? I can't tell and I think that's worse than anything else that you've done! I just-"

"I just want you to tell me what you're thinking honestly."

The familiar cold touch of his hand that she hadn't felt in ages touched her cheek in a painfully affectionate gesture and she raised her head to see blue eyes gazing back down at her. "For as long as I can remember, people told me my eyes were frightenin' so I began keepin' them closed. Only two people said other wise. One told me they looked sad. The other…"

"_Who said your eyes are scary? That's completely ridiculous; I'll show them what's really scary!"_

"_Calm down Ran, it's no biggie. I'm used to it."_

"_But they're wrong! To me, Ichimaru's eyes are…"_

Matsumoto smiled a small sad smile as she said softly, "The other said 'To me, Ichimaru's eyes are beautiful' right?" Resting her head in the crook of his neck, they sat there in their long-awaited embrace on the soft grass and listened to the rustling of the tree tops. After a minute, Matsumoto sighed contently before murmuring, "How's Ichigo and Orihime?" She could feel small vibrations as Gin chuckled a bit, "They're fine but I think they're getting themselves in a mess. I don't think either of them will die but they're gonna be hurt badly." Rangiku sensed the unspoken ending of his words and decided to confirm it. "Like us?" A small squeeze from the arms holding her told her everything and she said, "I thought it was possible with Orihime since that silly girl's heart is so big but Ichigo… Who is he getting mixed up with?"

When silence greeted her as well as a slight stiffening of the body supporting hers, she jerked her head up and said, "You can't mean… he isn't…" Gin ran a hand up and down her back soothingly, "I warned him but that kid is too headstrong. He's probably gonna go runnin' into a sticky situation regardless of the consequences."

"He's going to suffer terribly. But at this point, there's nothing we can do is there? Even you…" Rangiku let that sentence trail as she pressed her forehead against his chest and mumbled sadly, "You didn't come back to turn yourself in did you?"

The soft pattering of rain could be heard on the leafy coverage above them and little beads of water dripped down around them as Gin rest his head on hers, "You know me. I don't like strangers. I don't want to turn myself in to them and I don't want my life to end by their hands. Which is why Ran, I came here, to ask one more selfish thing from you."

A small derisive snort came from the body he held as she replied, "Adding to your list of selfish deeds are we?" Gin smiled as he opened his mouth to speak but she placed a finger on his lips, silencing his words. "I already know what you're going to ask. Saying it out loud will just make this worse so don't. Let's just… stay like this for a little while longer."

Gin had no complaints about that as he clutched her as closely as humanly possible, her arms holding him just as tightly as if the sheer strength of their embrace would make everything alright. After a few minutes of this, Rangiku let out a shuddering breath before saying as calmly as she could, "If you get to be selfish one more time, then I get to be selfish three more times." Gin snickered, "What kind of reasonin' is that Ran?" She smirked and replied, "Mine. So will you listen?"

When he nodded, she sat up in a kneeling position between his legs and looked him straight in the eye as she said, "First off, answer me honestly: do you like me? Or is this a joke?" Gin's hands rested on her shoulders as he said equally seriously, "This ain't a joke but I don't like you either." Hurt flashed in her eyes and she moved to pull away but his grip tightened as he said solemnly, "I love you Ran. You mean more to me than anything in the world and nothing's gonna change that. Not this war, not Soul Society's rigid laws, not even the apocolypse."

A raindrop gently dropped onto Matsumoto's cheek and it was soon joined by a saltier drop of liquid that he gently wiped away. Threading her hand through her bangs and brushing them out of her face, she got control over herself and continued, "Now answer me this: right here, right now, will you make me your bride? So that my heart, my love, my everything only belongs to the man known as Ichimaru Gin?"

His hand slid into hers and lifted it up as he replied, "I ain't got no fancy lil' ring with a shiny diamond but I do have one of these." Reaching into the folds of his robe with his free hand, he pulled out a small bag and placed it in her palm. While she held it, he pried it open before slipping his fingers inside and pulling out something worth more to her than any expensive jewelry. A piece of a dried persimmon was placed in the spot the bag had been while another was kept in Gin's. "I would've brought a fancy jug of wine or whatever people drink at weddings but I figured this would make do. Now then," he placed his persimmon piece next to hers in her hand before grasping it with both of his hands, "Will you take Ichimaru Gin, a sly, traitorous, selfish, mischievous man, to be your husband from now until forever?"

Matsumoto smiled and placed her unused hand on top of his before saying, "I do." Her voice trembled a little as she felt more happiness than ever before. "Do you take Matsumoto Rangiku, lazy, absolutely gorgeous, and hopelessly in love with a certain idiot, as your wife from now until forever?" Gin gazed into her eyes as he murmured, "I do." Rearranging their hands so that they could each take a persimmon piece, they simultaneously picked one up and put it into their mouths, sealing their vow with the first thing that had tied them together.

Savoring the small treats for as long as possible, Rangiku looked at Gin and said, "One more request. And then I'll grant yours." They could both sense Toushiro, Renji, and Rukia approaching closer at a strangely fast pace but neither felt any desire to rush themselves. A flash of lightening briefly illuminated the forest as well as the silhouette of something moving towards them before it grew darker again. "Share with me, our first and final-"

_STAB._

Gin's couldn't move as Rangiku blinked before looking down at the bloody tip of a sword sticking out of her chest, millimeters above the area where her heart was. She met Gin's shocked gaze before the blade was yanked out viciously and she collapsed onto his chest, soaking his white cloak red while the man himself was still frozen in place. One of the adjuchas he'd brought and that had somehow escaped his shinigami pursuers cackled as he gleefully said, "I got her Gin-sama! It's a good thing you were distracting her otherwise it wouldn't have been so easy~ Now, Aizen-sama might make me stronger since I killed a lieuten-"

The hollow never stood a chance.

In an instant, its entire body was decimated by several slashes just as the other shinigamis burst into the area. "Matsumoto!" Toushiro shouted before he froze and stared at the limp figure cradled in Gin's arms and the final moments of the hollow as Gin's sword ended its wretched existence. "Yo Hitsugaya-taicho, is Rangiku okay?" Renji asked as he landed next to the captain only to copy his action of freezing. Rukia, who was behind him, widened her eyes at the sight before looking away.

Gin's thin frame was shaking, out of fury or grief was debatable, as he held the body of his only love close to him. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to end this way. It- "G-Gin…" All of them jerked when they heard the feeble voice gasp out the name and Renji was about to go over and try to get her when Toushiro's hand blocked him. "Hitsugaya-taicho? What're you-" "Enough Abarai. No matter what we do, we won't make it. The amount of blood she's losing is fatal and my ice won't be enough to prolong her life. She won't live through this. She said that bastard's name so just… let them be."

Rain was coming down harder now and with Toushiro's head bowed down, there was no telling whether the water dripping down his face was tears or raindrops. Renji clenched his hands into fists but a small hand that wrapped around one of his made him look at Rukia's sad violet eyes as she shook her head and he cursed before letting his hands fall open in resignation.

Matsumoto meanwhile shakily raised a bloody hand to Gin's cheek as she gasped out, "Sorry… Gin… We weren't even… married for more than… five minutes…" She coughed out a small spray of blood as Gin clutched her hand on his cheek, pouring his reiatsu into her to give her strength. "I wish… I could apologize to… taicho… I disobeyed him again… heh… He'll probably be... angry..." Toushiro clenched his teeth as he fought to keep his composure while she continued, "My… last request… will you do it…?" Gin forced himself to nod causing her to smile as she whispered, "Kiss me… our first and… final one… before-"

Warm lips covered hers, cutting off anything else she was about to say. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall freely before she gathered the last of her strength and drew her sword. Raising it with shaking hands, she melted into the kiss fully before plunging the sword through the back of her husband, through a vital spot and then into herself, fulfilling her final promise. For a moment, it seemed like their bodies were frozen in the intimate position but then they slid down onto the ground, their blood staining the grass crimson and their hands entwined.

There was silence before Toushiro pulled out the communicator. "This is Hitsugaya Toushiro, captain of the 10th division. I want immediate preparations for the funeral of the lieutenant of the 10th division Matsumoto Rangiku as well as preparations for the transferring of the body of the former 3rd division captain Ichimaru Gin to Soul Society. I will be sending in a full report in a short while. Also…" Looking at the body of the two lovers, he said in a slightly softer tone, "Keep the 12th division's hands away from Ichimaru Gin's body. Allow them to have it only if the soutaicho allows it after I've submitted my report."

Unohana's sweet soothing voice drifted through, "I understand Hitsugaya-taicho. I will personally ensure that Ichimaru Gin's body remains untouched. The medical unit will be there shortly. And Hitsugaya-taicho? Get some rest before sending in that report. You have just lost someone very precious; there is no need to force yourself to overexert your strength."

The line was cut off and Toushiro let his hand fall and dangle at his side. Rukia furiously wiped her eyes before asking, "Hitsugaya-taicho? Are you alright?" Instead of answering, he ordered sharply, "Abarai, Kuchiki, return to Karakura Town . I will wait for the medical unit." In other words, please give me some time alone. The two glanced at each other before hesitantly agreeing, vanishing after one more glance at the dead lovers.

Toushiro stared at the bodies silently before saying, "You're such a fool Matsumoto. Didn't I tell you? Getting involved with this bastard would only lead to your ruin." His eyes lowered as he muttered, "This is stupid; I can't even muster up any anger towards him even though you only had eyes for him in the end." Walking over and kneeling next to her body, he gently lifted one of the ends of her silk pink scarf now darkened by a redder substance. Standing up, he gazed down at it before he stared up as a single drop of water slid down his cheek followed by others that got washed away with the rain, "Didn't I tell you to take care of this? It was a sign that I trusted you to be my lieutenant and friend you fool."

* * *

><p>A good distance further away, a dark-skinned woman watched everything that transpired from a perch high up on a tree. Turning around, she opened a gargantuan and stepped through. Briskly walking down many hallways, she knocked respectfully before entering the large throne room.<p>

"How was the attack Harribel?"

The woman kneeled on the ground and replied, "Aizen-sama, all the hollows were wiped out by the shinigamis as you expected. And…" She paused which made Aizen raise an eyebrow. "And what? It isn't like you to hesitate Harribel."

"My apologies my lord." Preparing herself for a crushing wave of reiatsu, she said cautiously, "Ichimaru Gin-sama has also passed away." Her body tensed slightly as she waited for the assault of pressure. Startled when there wasn't any, she risked a glance up and asked hesitantly, "My lord?"

Aizen's expression was one of perfect composure. "Thank you for the report Harribel. You may leave." A bit uneasy by the complete lack of expression, she swiftly got to her feet and left, shutting the large door softly behind her. The instant she was gone, Aizen was also on his feet as he said to Tousen, "Kaname, I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason today. If something happens that requires my attention, tell Harribel or Ulquiorra and they will take care of it."

The blind man bowed in understanding as Aizen swept out of the room, heading in whatever direction his feet took him as his mind replayed only the last part of Harribel's report.

"_Ichimaru Gin-sama has also passed away."_

_"Ichimaru Gin... passed away."_

_"Gin... passed away."  
><em>

When Aizen realized he wasn't moving anymore, he looked up and noticed he was standing in front of a familiar door.

'_Why here?'_

An image of a mischievous grin with closed fox-like eyes and silver hair flashed in his head and mouthed his own question._  
><em>

_"__Why not here?"_

That simple question broke his frozen state and with his scattered mind made up; he opened the door and entered Kurosaki Ichigo's room.


	17. Dealing with the Aftermath: Comfort

Ichigo groaned slightly as he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling blankly. He had a distinct feeling he was forgetting something extremely important but for now, the only thing his fuzzy mind could register was that his fever was gone, something that greatly relieved him since he hated being stuck in bed. Briefly wondering where Gin was, his mind seemed to almost remember something but its thought process was disrupted when his door opened without anyone knocking. When Ichigo saw who it was, he felt a vein twitch in irritation.

_'Do his stupid etiquette rules not apply to himself or something? Rude bastard.'_

Initially thinking Aizen was just there to irritate him somehow or do something perverted again, Ichigo prepared a biting comment in his mind but before he could say anything, Aizen simply sat in the chair next to his bed. If that didn't tell Ichigo something was wrong, then the words he said next did and he was suddenly reminded of exactly what he had been trying to remember for the past few minutes.

"Gin is dead."

Ichigo felt a strong pang of sadness for the deceased man. For a seemingly simple person, Gin had had a startling complex persona that had hidden so many painful secrets that he'd only been able to say in his last few moments. A cruel and deceiving person on the outside, slightly twisted but surprisingly kind on the inside. Ichigo would be lying if he claimed he wasn't affected by the loss, even if Gin had been an enemy. But that wasn't the important thing right now. Pushing aside his own sorrow, Ichigo studied Aizen under a critical eye.

His captor wasn't crying but there was a heavy air around him that seemed to reveal the man's need for comfort which he found he was willing to provide. Ichigo had never been the sort of person to let someone suffer alone no matter how despicable or cold-hearted they were, a trait he would undoubtedly be criticized or lectured for. But at this point in time, he really didn't give a damn. A person was hurting and he wasn't about to abandon them simply because he didn't like them, the fact he was his nemesis aside.

He hesitantly reached over and touched the grieving man's hands, the first slightly intimate gesture between them initiated by him willingly. After a couple minutes of silence, Ichigo quietly said, "He was the only person you really cared about wasn't he? The only one allowed to treat you as a person and not as a master or subordinate."

The man stiffened ever so slightly before agreeing, "He was the best student I had the joy of teaching and I was proud every time he succeeded at doing something new. He was a genius and now he's gone."

Ichigo's eyes softened at the last bit. He had also been fond of the mischievous man once he had gotten to know him. Gin had made his imprisonment a bit more bearable by chatting with him and telling him amusing stories about the espada.

"I killed him."

Now that, Ichigo hadn't been expecting. Gin hadn't gone to Aizen to get killed, he should have gone to the Human World like the stupid, selfish idiot that he was assuming he had been honest when he'd spoken to him. Carefully choosing his words, Ichigo asked, "Why do you say that? Gin told me the day before he left that he was leading an attack on the shinigamis. If you're blaming yourself for doing that..."

_'Or is he actually regretting that he started this war in the first place?'_

For once, Aizen was the one avoiding eye contact as he said in a forced neutral tone, "I sent Harribel to watch the events that transpired to ensure that the attack went smoothly. When she came to report to me, she didn't say it but her body posture clearly indicated something had gone awry." Ichigo was a bit disappointed that even Gin's death wasn't enough to put an end to this ridiculous and pointless war but he was also curious about this. He tilted his head in confusion as he said, "I don't get it. Wouldn't that just imply that she was going to report to you about Gin's... death?" Wow, it hurt just saying that. He just knew it must be raining in his inner world at the moment. He could faintly hear Shiro''s complaints but he tuned his hollow out in since he really couldn't do anything about it so long as he was mourning the death of someone who had somehow become quite a good friend. He blinked when he noticed a slight shift in Aizen's gaze, moving away from sadness to something more analytical but Ichigo didn't think it was on purpose. If anything, it looked like Aizen was trying to cover his emotions with logic and thinking.

"That was what I thought at first as well however her discomfort remained even after she told me about Gin. Had I been more in control over myself, I would have asked her to explain however I wished to have some time to think. Before she left though, I did notice several things through her body language. When she spoke of Gin's demise, her entire body was rigid and it did not relax until she was dismissed. That would mean that the way Gin died would have displeased me in some way or even incurred my wrath. Then there was her report about the hollows getting killed. She seemed to want to say something about them however she prioritized telling me about Gin. It would be a bit of a stretch to conclude this however I am assuming at least one of the hollows may have played a role in Gin's death. And-"

A slender finger, roughened slightly due to constant battling and usage of a sword, touched his lips and silenced him. "Stop. I think I see where you're going with this but a hollow wouldn't have had what it takes to kill Gin. Not just because Gin's way too skilled for that but also because a hollow wouldn't have the nerve to kill someone he's supposed to obey. That would go against their natural instincts."

Ichigo removed his finger as he said with certainty, "There might have been something that went wrong but I doubt Gin died with any regrets. I'm sure... he was satisfied with the way he died more or less. He's so mule-headed that he wouldn't have let it end any other way. He wouldn't have wanted you to think you were the cause of his death." Ichigo's eyes lowered as he said quietly, "You said he was one of the few people close to you. It was the same for him. He wouldn't want you wallowing in self-hate for something he chose to do." _'Be it his decision to take part in the attack or walking to his death.'_ "Gin was a bit weird but he tried to do a lot for the few people he cared about. He was deceptive but honest in his own way and I think that's more than I can say for other people that I know."

_'He betrayed the world he grew up in to avenge the woman he loved. He died in a way so that the man who was the first to act like a true parental figure to him wouldn't have to experience the bitter taste of betrayal or stain his hands with his beloved student's blood. He visited me and made me smile in a place I never thought I could be happy in.'_

Aizen hadn't said a word throughout all this but Ichigo could tell he agreed with everything that he'd said. He sighed softly and said sadly, "It's always the best people that get killed or die early."

"That isn't quite true."

Ichigo blinked in confusion as the man said his next words almost too quietly for him to hear, "You're still here albeit against your will." And in an even softer tone, he murmured, "But you will be gone soon too, once you are freed and returned to your friends. Once that happens, I will truly be alone again."

Ichigo's eyes widened, shocked as much by the words as the sight of a single tear that refused to be shed in the man's eye when he finally looked at him.

_"Even Aizen-sama has a heart."_

Gin's words rang though his mind and Ichigo found himself agreeing with the deceased man. Aizen wasn't just a megalomanic hell-bent on destroying everything for his quest for power, he was also an extremely lonely person and Ichigo felt his heart reach out to him. Much to the other man's surprise, he brushed the tear away and stated firmly, "You're not alone."

His shocked expression slipped into a slightly disbelieving one and to be honest, Ichigo couldn't blame him. He mulled over his thoughts a bit, wondering how to best explain before he began speaking,

"As long as there is someone who will cry when you die, you're not alone. Because if there is someone who can be sad when you're gone, then that someone will also be glad that you're alive. They might not always be happy with you but they'll at least appreciate that you're alive."

The man smirked humorlessly and questioned in a slightly mocking tone, "And who would be sad when this evil, manipulating betrayer dies?"

That question more than anything else saddened Ichigo.

Lithe but strong arms wrapped around his head and pulled him into a warm chest.

"I would. I don't know why considering all the crap you and your plans have been putting me through but I just know that if you died, I would be genuinely sad although whether I'm happy you're alive and annoy the hell out of me with your facades and random moments of honesty is debatable."

Aizen slowly brought a hand up and gently gripped one of the arms holding him before starting to pull away as he murmured, "You truly have a naive but kind heart Kurosaki-kun. I appreciate the sentiment however you shouldn't say things you don't mean." He was able to pull away but once he was free, his forehead was immediately flicked. Hard.

"And people say I'm obstinate and thick-headed. This is another thing about you that pisses me off. You don't trust anybody. What do I have to do to make you believe me when I say something you bastard?" Aizen looked at him for a while before saying slowly, "Well... I suppose I will believe you..." his lips pulled into a smirk, "if you kiss me."

"..."

Aizen swiftly caught the hand that was about to slap him quite painfully before it made contact with his face. Ichigo's entire face was bright red in embarrassment as he shouted, "You stupid perverted- I can't believe you! You know what, forget I said anything! Stupid asshole of a jerk-" Had Ichigo been paying attention, he would have noticed the brief, fond look in Aizen's eyes before it vanished as quickly as it came. He did however, catch his next comment.

"I'm glad."

Ichigo paused in the middle of his rant and looked at Aizen suspiciously. "You're glad I called you a stupid asshole of a jerk?" Aizen brushed a few stray bangs out of his face into their original immaculate slicked back state as he amended his statement, "I'm glad I came here. Generally, I go to a place where I can be alone and that allows me to regain composure temporarily but this time is different." A hand ghosted over Ichigo's cheek before lightly touching it as Aizen leaned over and murmured, "I don't need to pretend to be alright since by talking to you, I feel far better than if I told myself everything was fine." Ichigo flushed and he could feel his heart racing at their close proximity. Not for the first time, he wondered why.

"Aizen, I-"

The door opened and Ichigo was immediately away from Aizen's touch and lying down as Stark entered the room, glancing at the two curiously before asking, "I'm not disturbing anything am I?" Aizen had smoothly sat back in his chair just as quickly as how Ichigo retreated, looking as if he'd never gotten up. Appearing completely unperturbed, e easily said, "No, I was simply checking to see if Kurosaki-kun was feeling better." Without any hesitation, he changed the subject, "Did you wish to tell me something?" Stark ran a hand through his hair as he said, "A couple things actually. The first was that Harribel told me to give you the full written report of what happened in the... Human World." Smiling a bit, Ichigo felt a touch of gratitude for the surprisingly kind espada. He was aware that the Human World was a sensitive topic for Ichigo and had been reluctant to mention it in his presence.

If Aizen had also noticed the pause, he didn't mention it, choosing instead to take the papers and flip through them. He only actually read more carefully towards the end and when he was finished, he said, "What was the other thing you wished to say?" Stark glanced at Ichigo again before replying, "It was to ask you if I should tell Ichigo-sama about the part that you just read Aizen-sama..."

Aizen cut in, "Do not concern yourself with that, I will inform him myself. You are dismissed." For a moment, it seemed like Stark was going to object as his gaze flickered between his lord and his charge but then he nodded and strode out, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Ichigo had been lost during the exchange and he turned to Aizen for an explanation.

"What was that about?"

Aizen looked at him with an unreadable expression for a while and that concerned Ichigo. "Well?' Aizen didn't say anything as he flipped through the papers a bit before pulling one out and handing it to Ichigo. When he received an inquisitive look, he stated in a surprisingly gentle tone, "Gin and the hollows weren't the only casualties." The weight of his words sent a jolt of shock and dread through Ichigo as he took the paper with slightly trembling hands, the dread turning into grief as he skimmed through the words on the paper.

_A woman identified as the 10th division lieutenant was stabbed fatally by an adjucha while she and Gin-sama were conversing. Gin-sama immediately killed the adjucha with his own sword before promptly discarding it in order to listen to the woman's final words. I was unable to hear what was said however once they finished talking, Gin-sama touched her lips with his. During that moment, she drew her blade and stabbed him through a vital point, killing him before she died herself. The shinigamis present..._

Ichigo knew he should have read about how the others were but those few sentences kept repeating in his mind. _'So not only Gin but Rangiku-san died too? Why...?'_ Ichigo could feel the illogical side of him demanding to blame Aizen for this. Because of his treason, because he'd done something to Rangiku-san that made Gin do everything he'd done, because he'd sent Gin with a bunch of hollows there, the jolly compassionate lieutenant was gone and now others were burdened by the pain caused by her death.

Yet he couldn't blame Aizen.

No matter how hard he tried to believe it was all his fault, he couldn't muster up the feeling to blame him. The only thing he could do was blame himself. He shouldn't have gotten captured. He should have been there to save both of them. Hell, he should have stopped Gin when he had the chance. Because he hadn't been able to do any of these things, two people who meant so much to others were now dead, the only marginally comforting thing about any of this being that they had been able to die together.

That thought suddenly reminded Ichigo of something else. _'Orihime. She must have sensed Rangiku-san's death. I have to see her.' _He was about to get up when a weight on his shoulders appeared and held him down. Glaring up at Aizen, he snapped, "Let me go! I have to check Orihime!" Aizen's arms didn't budge even when Ichigo began struggling furhter increasing his frustration which lead to more struggling. "Calm down Kurosaki-kun. Ms. Inoue is strong, she doesn't need you to hold her hand whenever something upsetting occurs. She also has Ulquiorra if she needs anything." Ichigo paused long enough to bite out, "I know that but-"

"Besides, what will you going to her be of any use when you look like you're on the verge of breaking down yourself?"

Ichigo's body stilled completely before going limp as all of his previous energy left him in a rush. Aizen moved one of his hands that was holding Ichigo down by his shoulders to the side of his head as he added, "Seeing you distressed will only result in her hiding her own sorrow so as to avoid worrying you. I believe having Ulquioora there will be better for her."

Ichigo brought up an arm to rest over his eyes as he mumbled, "But will he? He doesn't care about her-" Memories of Ulquiorra's actions flashed through his mind, the most striking ones being the resentful glares he'd received from the normally stoic hollow whenever Orihime visited. Ichigo might be oblivious to anything regarding him but when it involved someone else, he was sharp. It wasn't hard to reach a conclusion based on the signals. Releasing a small groan, he muttered, "This can't be happening. Are you seriously okay with this?"

Aizen shifted a bit so he was no longer leaning over Ichigo and was instead sitting on the edge of his bed with his back resting against the bed stand as he replied, "I can't say I'm thrilled however so long as his emotions do not interfere with the work I assign him, I will let it slide. But more importantly, will you be alright?"

Ichigo was too exhausted emotionally and mentally to try to figure out why Aizen had prioritized him before his subordinate as he wearily said, "I'll get over it. Even if I don't want to admit it, this is a war. I shouldn't," his voice trembled just the slightest bit, "I shouldn't let every death get to me."

A hand grasped the arm covering his eyes and pulled it away so he was forced to look up into light brown pools that revealed the barest glimpse of an emotion he couldn't name. "You're right Kurosaki-kun, you shouldn't be affected by every tragic death that occurs. However..." Aizen leaned down and murmured into his ear, "Someone with a pure heart such as yourself should not dismiss the sacrifices in war. For a person such as myself, feeling regret is no longer an option. But you," his voice dropped even lower, "I never want to see you lose that gentle kindness and compassion for others."

Ichigo's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Aizen you-" But Aizen was already standing and moving away, pausing long enough to say, "I will be taking you and Ms. Inoue somewhere in a couple hours Kurosaki-kun. Please be ready by then" before he strode out, leaving Ichigo utterly at a loss of what to think.

Bringing a hand to his ear, he flushed once again as he remembered the feeling of Aizen's warm breath on his ear before wondering why it seemed as though that had felt like the other man had been trying to comfort him. Clutching his covers tightly in his hand, he actually did feel a bit better. The sadness of the two lovers' death still weighed down his mind but it didn't feel as crushing as before. Funny how the man had come to him for comfort and had ended up comforting him.

Something was changing between him and Aizen. This moment had only made that clearer than before and Ichigo wasn't sure if it was for the better or for the worse.

* * *

><p>AN: Good grief, ever asked yourself how bad writer's block can get? I did and I just found out the answer. Sorry this chapter took so long! *Sigh* I really need to get going on Perfect Harmony. T_T I fell behind on it even though I promised to update it. But I'm just so in love with this story right now that I can't stop focusing on it! Roar! Okay, I'll start working on it again... soon... Did I mention I love this one XD

* * *

><p>To lighten up the angsty mood... Deleted Scenes! (Sorry they weren't in the last one. I felt they would have been seriously out of place.)<p>

_Wrong Report_

_A woman identified as the 10th division lieutenant was stabbed by an adjucha while she and Gin-sama were conversing. Gin-sama immediately killed the adjucha with his own sword before he discarded it in order to listen to the woman's final words. They talked a bit more before Gin-sama kissed her and then commented that Aizen-sama and his beloved should **** and do ****** and then proceed to ******. During the intimate moment, she drew her blade and stabbed him through a vital point, killing him before she died herself. The shinigamis present..._

Forget Ichigo's face, his entire body was bright red. Crushing the paper into a ball, he chucked it at the very amused Aizen and shouted, "Don't give me these stupid perverted things you wrote as a way to tell me you're sex deprived when we're in the middle of work you bastard!"

_The Best Student_

His captor wasn't crying but there was a heavy air around him that seemed to reveal the man's need for comfort. Ichigo had never been the sort of person to let someone suffer alone no matter how despicable or cold-hearted they were. He hesitantly touched the grieving man's hands, the first slightly intimate gesture between them initiated by him willingly. After a couple minutes of silence, Ichigo quietly said, "He was the only person you really cared about wasn't he? The only one allowed to treat you as a person and not as a master or subordinate."

The man had stiffened ever so slightly before softly admitting, "He was the best student I had the joy of teaching and I was proud every time he succeeded at doing something new. He was a genius and now he's gone."

When they were done with the scene, Gin walked over and handed them bottles of water, a happy grin on his face. While they were drinking, Gin cheerfully said, "I'm so touched Aizen-san! The amount of feelin' ya put into your words was amazin'! I knew you were good but that was impressive!"

Aizen blinked and while Ichigo was drinking, replied, "True, normally scenes like the one we just did are hard to perform... However the other day, my very talented hamster died and it was quite disappointing since I had trained him myself to do many interesting tricks. Truly a pity. He was the best student I ever had. He was able to tie together bouquets of flowers that I've been giving to Ichigo."

Ichigo choked on his water while Gin sat in a dark corner and sulked over the fact that he had been out-done by a furry rodent.


	18. UlquiHime: Misunderstanding

_It hurts_

Orihime curled up into a ball on the floor next to her bed, clutching her arms close to herself in some vain attempt to ease the sharp stabs of pain her heart was feeling. Her feet mirrored her body by curling up as well when a particularly nasty pang shot through her.

_Someone died_

An image of beautiful flowing orange hair so like her own as well as a bright smile accompanied the pain. Kind, understanding silver-gray eyes sparkling with mirth and warmth whenever she spoke to her beloved captain or her friends entered her mind and Orihime let out a small choked sob.

_Not her... Please... Not her..._

Her denial was nothing more than a hopeful delusion. She didn't need to see Matsumoto Rangiku to know she was no longer a part of the living or in the shinigami's case, living dead. Curling up even more as humanly possible, her body quivered from the force of suppressing her tears. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to have someone with her but she didn't want to burden Ichigo, not when he was recovering from being sick_. _But then, he wasn't even the first person that came to mind.

_Blank, emerald green pools_

_Jet black hair_

_Two jade green streaks running down the sides of a smooth porcelain white face_

These images made her blink in shock behind her arms that she'd buried her face in. When did she stop wishing Ichigo was the one there for her? When did Ulquiorra suddenly become the person she turned to to anchor her? When did he become such an important aspect of her life that she wished it was him that would never leave her alone instead of Ichigo?

A wane smile appeared on her face along with a small drop of liquid from her eye as she gave up trying to hold back the warm salty water. She was being a fool. Relying on not only a hollow but an espada completely loyal to Aizen, the person everyone was trying to stop? And she was even hoping he would come to comfort her when he barely understood what emotions were? He could identify jealousy, impatience, irritation, maybe even desire but to expect him to be emphatic and caring was being too demanding, too unreal, and above all, far too selfish. The fact that he had agreed to take part in whatever their relationship was called was enough of a burden on the antisocial espada. To want more from him would be greedy.

A quiet sob escaped her lips when she realized that she _wanted_ to be selfish and greedy. She wanted to make him understand her pain, to make him ease it in some shape or form. She wanted to just have him hold her until the unbearable hurt went away. Above all else, she wanted him to _care_. More tears spilled out as she came to a sudden realization that was both unacceptable and impossible. She wanted-

"Woman, what are you doing?"

Orihime's shaking form froze and her eyes widened to an impossible size as she slowly lifted her head. Standing in front of her with his usual blank expression and his hands in his pockets was the one she had been so desperately yearning to see. Ulquiorra seemed almost taken aback when he saw her red-rimmed eyes and the remnants of a few of her tears before his face schooled back to its usual reserved state.

Swiftly wiping her face, Orihime shook her head and forced a smile. "You surprised me Ulquiorra! I thought you weren't due for another couple hours but maybe I wasn't paying attention to the time..."

"You aren't wrong."

Blinking, she looked at him with puzzled eyes as he continued, "I was not planning on coming here for a while still however," he knelt down so he was eye-level with her, balancing himself by putting his hands on the ground before giving her a penetrating look and stating, "I felt in irritating urge compelling me to come here and it refused to leave. It felt as if..."

A pale hand lifted from it's stabilizing position and for a moment, made to reach out to her but was pulled back at the last minute and laid upon a white-clad knee instead as he murmured, "it felt as if you were calling me. I grew fed up with it and thus why I am here now. So speak woman. Why were you calling for me?"

The amount of happiness these words brought to Orihime was overwhelming but with it came a heavy pressing feeling that threatened to drown her. She wanted to do nothing more than to cry to her heart's content and lay in his arms at this point but to do something like that would make Ulquiorra unhappy and uncomfortable and she couldn't do that to him simply because she was being a baby.

_'For me... he came for me... but I can't use him, not for something like this. It's unfair to try to force him to understand things like grief when he only has a basic understanding of emotions. It isn't right to force my needs on him.'_

She lowered her head so that her bangs shadowed her facial features and smiled a small sad, bitter smile.

_'I'll be fine by myself.'_

Lifting her head and giving him what she hoped was a cheerful smile, she said as brightly as she could, "Ah, I wasn't calling for you Ulquiorra! I don't need anything." When he eyed her rather dismal appearance, she frantically waved her arms and quickly explained reassuringly, "Oh this, this is nothing! I just yawned a whole bunch of times and tears kept coming out like rain. Isn't that silly?"

"You're lying."

Orihime paused in her antics and blinked when she realized that the calm composed look on Ulqiuiorra's face had changed to what could only be described as an annoyed glower. The frown on his face seemed more prominent than ever and his beautiful green eyes were narrowed into a glare. Was he... upset that she was lying?

"But Ulquiorra... it's really nothing. I'm sure... I'm just overreacting over nothing." Even to her, those words sounded weak and she flinched a bit when Ulquiorra shifted. She didn't dare look up and see what his expression was for fear that it would make her fragile defenses break but she was not prepared for a pale hand to grip on to her arms and yank her forward into a slightly stiff and awkward but nevertheless real embrace.

She was in a state of shock, with her body nestled in another that was clearly in discomfort but did not relinquish its hold. Deceptively thin arms that belied their strength wrapped around her waist and head, pulling her closer. "Ulquiorra, what are you-?"

"Silence you foolish woman. I am far exceeding my duties as your guard as well as my comfort limits by doing this and your useless prattle is only making it worse. I am unclear as to what has upset you however it is safe to assume that it has to do with Harribel's report on the battle that took place earlier."

"This morning at dawn, an attack headed by that despicable silver-haired fox that Aizen-sama trusted occurred in your town. All the hollows were killed as well as two shinigamis." Orihime's breath hitched but surprisingly, long slender fingers threaded through her hair in a strangely soothing gesture as the owner of the hands continued, "The two shinigamis that died were Ichimaru Gin and a woman identified as Matsumoto Rangiku."

A lump in her throat made breathing difficult but at this point, she didn't care. The kind 10th division lieutenant who had pulled her out of her misery and quelled her resentment when she'd felt the flames of jealousy towards Kuchiki Rukia was now dead and so was the mischievous but surprisingly friendly Ichimaru. The urge to cry was stronger than before but she forced herself to hold them back for a little while longer. Orihime moved to pull away as she made a huge effort to say as steadily as possible, "Thank you Ulquiorra for telling me that and for doing... this. But I'm alright. Don't force yourself to do this for my sake when you really don't want to."

The arms around her waist tightened in disapproval as Ulquiorra demanded in his usual cold tone, "And who are you to judge what I wish to do woman?" Orihime stopped trying to escape from his grasp and stared at him as he added, "I merely stated I was exceeding my duties and comfort zones. In fewer words, I am simply unused to acts such as this." Emerald green met gentle gray as he said firmly, "Regardless of the strangeness of this, it does not feel terrible. This is something you need and it is something I want to do. Now, silence yourself and get rid of that pathetic expression on your face."

The words were far from comforting and gentle yet Orihime felt as if he had just given her a bouquet of flowers and his condolences considering how overwhelmingly relieved she felt. It felt as if a dam had been broken and Orihime couldn't suppress it anymore. A broken sob escaped her before the rest was muffled as she buried her face into his shoulder, clutching his shirt as if it was the only life-line she had left in the world. Ulquiorra didn't say anything, he simply held her but that was all that she wanted from him, what she needed from him.

He had understood her and that made her happiness level rival that of her mourning one. It was peculiar experiencing joy and grief at the same time but Orihime found it made the pain more bearable. It was terrible that she was allowed to be happy when someone she cherished died but she knew that Matsumoto Rangiku wouldn't have wanted her to be completely miserable like before. Right now, the warmth surrounding her body was more than an anchor grounding her from floating in despair, it was a balm that soothed her aching heart and let her tears flow freely.

Eventually, the sobs turned into choked cries and even that slowly eased to a steady but silent stream of tears as she began to regain her composure. Sniffling a little, she lifted her head a bit so she was only lightly pressing her forehead against him as she mumbled, "I'm sorry Ulquiorra."

"Foolishness. Clothes can dry in a matter of minutes."

Orihime blinked before a small giggle flew out of her. Ulquiorra always looked at things in such a practical way, it was refreshing. She sighed when she calmed down and turned her head a bit so she could stare at the wall next to them, staying silent before saying, "Not for that- well, yes for getting your clothes wet but also for... just all of this. You don't like close contact with anybody right? And here I am, crying my eyes out practically on your lap. I'm really... a selfish person."

Ulquiorra stared at her for a while before cupping her face with one of his hands in what could only be defined as a gentle caress. Unconsciously leaning into it, Orihime looked at him curiously and asked, "What is it Ulquiorra?"

"Humans... they are weak and develop far to many emotional bonds that hurt them. They are greedy, petty, selfish, and vain." Orihime's eyes lowered a bit. Ulquiorra's words were harsh but more or less true. Humans were of course, more than just those negative things but even if she said them, she didn't think it would change Ulquiorra's opinion.

"Perhaps... Hollows and humans are not so different."

Ulquiorra's other hand slid to the other side of her face and urged her to look at him as he said softly, "If you are selfish then I am as well, possibly even more so." Orihime felt her eyes widen when she saw a ghost of sadness in his eyes but before she could press him to explain, he briskly said, "In two hours, Aizen-sama will be taking you and the boy somewhere. Once you have seen what he wants you to see, he will make you an offer." It actually looked like he was forcing himself to say his next words and Orihime had a feeling it was only because Aizen had ordered him to tell her that he was speaking about it at all. When he told her the offer, she could see why.

"He will allow you to go free if you wish to."

Orihime didn't move, didn't say anything. She just looked at Ulquiorra who was still holding her face in his hands. Reaching up, she gently removed his hold and the tinge of sadness became more prominent as well as a flash of hurt before the emerald orbs shut down and resumed their cold, hard look. He was about to stand when two small thin hands placed themselves in the same position as his had when he held her face before tugging his head down.

Pale lips met delicate pink ones in a sweet gentle kiss. When Ulquiorra didn't respond, Orihime smiled sadly before pulling away but then she was pulled into one initiated by him this time and their mouths met in another kiss, this time with both participants actively engaged. Pressing their lips together, for as long as possible, not going any further than lightly flicking each other with their tongues, they slowly and reluctantly pulled back.

A light dusting of pink colored Orihime's cheeks as she bowed her head and mumbled, "I'm sorry Ulquiorra-" The sudden hurt look in his eyes startled Orihime as did his abrupt standing. Turning, he swiftly strode towards the door, his long white coat flapping behind him harshly as he walked. Orihime jerked her head up and stared at him, completely bewildered before calling, "Ulquiorra wait-"

Pausing in the doorway, Ulquioora didn't look back as he said coldly, "New clothes will be sent to you soon. Put them on and be ready when Aizen-sama comes. The next time we see each other, we will be enemies." With that, he strode out and slammed the door shut behind him harshly, ignoring her calls asking that he return.

Orihime felt the fleeting moment of happiness vanish like smoke in the wind, replaced by a crushing feeling of sadness. He hadn't let her finish what she was going to say. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wondered what she had done wrong.

_"Stupid girl."_

Orihime twitched a bit when she heard Tsubaki's irritated voice. _'Tsubaki, what did I do wrong? Was it... the kiss?'_

_"You really are an idiot. Why would that have bothered him? He kissed back didn't he?'_

Now she was utterly perplexed. _'But then what...?'_

_"You're 'I'm sorry' that's what."_

Conveying her confusion to him through their link, she heard him snort and mutter about women before hearing the tell-rale signs of her other spirits smacking him. It was quiet for a moment before Ayame's chipper voice began speaking.

_"Honestly, Tsubaki's such a rude jerk! But he was going in the right direction master. Your apology was the mistake. What would you think if right after you told someone they had the chance to leave you, that person kissed you, you kissed back, and then the first thing the person says is 'I'm sorry' and then pauses?"_

Things were starting to make sense now. Ulquiorra's reaction... the hurt in his eyes... he had thought she was apologizing to him through the kiss for what her answer was going to be to Aizen's future offer. If she had been miserable before, now she was just plain despondent. This was not a mistake that was going to be something she could easily fix.

But then, when was anything in reality easy to fix?

She willed the pain away before opening them with a new fire shining in her eyes. She had let her chance with Ichigo slip away, she was not about to let this one pass by without a fight.

Clearly Ulquiorra had misunderstood her when she had apologized. He might be one of the most difficult people to read that she had ever met but there was no denying that he had returned her kiss. There was something between them that was coming alive and she refused to let it die. She thanked her spirits and felt another rush if gratitude for them, this was the second time they'd helped her see something glaringly obvious and important that she had missed and she doubted it would be the last.

Touching her lips, she felt a blush heat up her cheeks again before smiling a bit and leaning back against her bed on the floor in her previous spot, her mood completely different. The pain from the deaths was still there but she knew she couldn't dwell on them forever. She had something she wanted to do and she was going to accomplish it no matter what. If there was one thing Ichigo had taught her, it was to give her all no matter the situation. She would make the impossible possible.

She would get Ulquiorra to love her as much as she loved him.

For a moment, she could have sworn she saw a bright smile and wavy orange hair before a voice full of encouragement and pride whispered in her ear.

_"You better win this time sweetheart."_

It would be a shame to disappoint Rangiku's final order.

* * *

><p>AN: Right so Perfect Harmony will be updated... soon... I hope. Except... I love this one too much! I will try to get it updated sometime this week. By the way, thanks for all the reviews! I'm so proud, over 100 reviews, whoo-hoo!

* * *

><p>The chapter-ly (can't say daily, weekly, monthly, etc since I don't update on a schedule T_T) reward... Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Almost a Kiss_

He was about to stand when two small thin hands placed themselves in the same position as his had when he held her face before tugging his head down.

Their angle was just a bit off.

Ulquiorra's forehead collided quite painfully with hers resulting in her clutching her head and Ulquiorra looking complete indifferent despite the bruise on both of them. Gin winced and said to Rangiku, "Gotta feel sorry for poor Hime-chan. I heard Ulqui-kun's got one mean hard head."

Rangiku replied, "Really? I was feeling more sorry for Ulquiorra. Orihime apparently has a head harder than Ichigo."

"..."

"A'right, I feel more sorry for Ulqui-kun."

_It Should Be Illegal for the Dead to Suffer_

For a moment, she could have sworn she saw a bright smile and wavy orange hair before a voice full of encouragement and pride whispered in her ear.

_"You better win this time sweet- Kyaaaah!"_

Orihime jumped in surprise before rushing over to where Rangiku was crouching, asking in concern, "Rangiku-san are you alright? Did you get hurt?"

Rangiku sniffed before holding up her hand and dramatically wailing, "My nail! My newly manicured nail!" Orihime fell over as Ulquiorra said impassively, "Woman... it's a nail."

Rangiku clutched her hand and said vehemently, "It's not _just_ a nail, it's a _woman's_ nail! Even more than that, it's a _woman's newly manicured nail _that I spent a lot of money to get done!"

Orihime laughed a bit nervously as she said soothingly to the clearly annoyed Ulquiorra, "At least it wasn't life-threatening right?"

Rangiku sniffed and whimpered dejectedly, "It should be illegal for the dead to suffer."


	19. The Funeral: Grief

It was only a half hour after Aizen had left so Ichigo figured it was alright to take a quick shower. He had been surprised when he'd seen one but then figured that if the hollow world had kitchens and bathrooms, a shower stall should hardly be unexpected.

Turning on the water, he stripped off his clothes before stepping into the warm spray, relishing in the soothing and comfortable feel of the water. Grimacing a bit when he realized he hadn't taken a shower in ages, he grabbed a bottle of shampoo located in a small container attached to the wall and thoroughly washed his orange hair which he noticed absently was starting to get a little long. Fingering one of the orange locks, he idly wondered if he should cut it or just let it keep growing and he snorted at the mental image of himself with a long mane of hair.

_"Ichigo-kun, I think you should get long hair!"_

_"Why? Because I think it'd suit you. You've got a good face. Besides, look at all the guys here who have long hair and still look manly! Well, you might actually look pretty like Kuchiki-taicho but whatever~"_

Ichigo's movements slowed as memories flowed into his mind unwillingly, reminding him once more of what was lost and would never return.

_"Don't give me that look, it's a great idea and it'll be fun!"_

_"Hey, make sure to give me a call if you ever decide to grow your hair out."_

_"You really will? Great! It's a promise then~"_

A bitter smile formed on his lips. How was he supposed to keep a promise if the person he swore to was dead?

_"You're such a sweet guy Ichigo-kun. _

_"I'm glad..."_

The teasing, bright voice of Rangiku mingled with another that was equally playful, their sentiments and words painfully similar and spoken with an honest and serious tone that were used only to convey what they truly felt. The words were warm but he only felt cold pain as they echoed in his mind.

_"I'm glad I met you..."_

_"Ichigo-kun."_

_"Berry-tan."_

Paying little attention to the rest of his washing down, he turned the water off and took one of the white fluffy towels on a stand next to the shower and began drying off, vainly attempting to not think anymore about Gin and Rangiku. He didn't even want to imagine how Toushiro or any of the other shinigamis were handling the deaths considering how badly he himself was doing despite only knowing both for such a short amount of time. Gin maybe not so much but Rangiku was definitely quite well-liked and it hurt just to imagine what it felt like to lose someone so lively and cheerful after knowing them for so long.

Stepping back into his room, the towel wrapped snugly around him, he failed to notice Grimmjow until the hollow let out a slightly awkward cough, his shoulders hunched in clear discomfort. Ichigo blinked, staring blankly at Grimmjow who was steadily growing more uncomfortable, before releasing a very manly squeak and grabbing the nearest available object -which happened to be a vase- and chucking it at the hollow who dodged just in the nick of time, his indignant exclamation timed perfectly with the sound of the glass shattering behind him against the wall.

"What the fuck shinigami?"

Glaring back at the seething sexta just as heatedly and letting embarrassed anger disguise his pain, Ichigo snapped, "That's my line! What the hell are you doing sneaking into someone's room when they're taking a shower you pervert?" Despite what he said, Ichigo was inwardly very thankful that Grimmjow had come since he provided a very easy distraction from his melancholic thoughts. Not that said hollow needed to know that of course.

Grimmjow's hand twitched as if he wanted to strangle Ichigo before he snarled lowly and threw a black bundle at the current bane of his existence. Caught off guard, Ichigo fumbled a bit before getting a proper hold on the object and looking at Grimmjow in confusion. The teal-haired hollow snorted and said grumpily, "Bastard-sama says to change into those an' he ain't takin' no for an answer. Said some shit 'bout white not bein' the proper color for whatever the hell he's doing."

Pushing any lingering depressing thoughts aside, Ichigo wondered where exactly Aizen was planning on taking him since he even had to have him wear different clothes. Unraveling the bundle, his eyes widened slightly. It had been quite some time since the last time he'd seen anything that wasn't white and made of black cloth like the shinigami's clothes. A wave of nostalgia swept through him that made his lips quirk into a small smile. It was pathetic that clothes alone were able to make him so happy but he honestly didn't give a damn. Having something familiar helped lessen the pain as well and he felt a fresh wave of gratitude towards the hollow even though he was being a bastard.

"Thanks Grimmjow."

The espada looked startled before clicking his tongue in irritation. "Didn't do shit shinigami. Stop lookin' and actin' like a fucking pansy and just put on somethin' more than a stupid towel." Scowling and blushing a bit since he hadn't realized his continued lack of clothing, Ichigo muttered, "Jerk" under his breath before tugging on the black garments. It was only a simple black kimono but it bore the closest resemblance to the shinigamis' clothes and was far more familiar to Ichigo. Marveling at the silky soft material of the clothes which was different but nice, he glanced up when he heard Grimmjow scoff.

"You look like a fucking woman."

This time, a well-aimed pillow managed to make its way to the unsuspecting espada's head as Ichigo exclaimed, "I do not you ass!" The pillow was thrown back quite viciously but it only landed harmlessly on the bed next to Ichigo causing the substitute shinigami to blink and look at Grimmjow questioningly. His confusion was cleared when his door opened and Aizen entered, his composure completely restored from before. Ichigo almost wondered if he'd just imagined the brief moment of intimacy that they had shared only a little while ago.

Aizen's gaze flickered from him to Grimmjow and then he asked in an oddly icy tone, "Am I interrupting something?" Grimmjow made an interesting choking noise as Ichigo blankly stared at him in confusion, wondering where that question and tone had come from. Aside from their bickering, there wasn't much that had happened.

_"You're so clueless king."_

_'I am not! That comment was completely out of the blue!'_

_"Yer blushin' like a virgin_,_ kitty's in yer room and Mr. Almighty waltzes in. What do you think it looks like to him?"_

_'...?'  
><em>

_ "Never mind, I'll tell ya since it'll take forever for you to figure it out on yer own."_

_"He thought you two were flirting."_

Ichigo felt his face flare up as he quickly exclaimed in embarrassment, "We weren't flirting!" Both Aizen and Grimmjow looked at him startled and he realized he must have said that out loud. "Oh, um, sorry. I was talking to Shiro." Grimmjow still looked at him as if he'd grown two heads until Aizen said in light realization, "Ah, you were talking to your inner hollow." Ichigo nodded, wondering why it hadn't been obvious who he'd been talking to but he brushed the question aside in favor of a different one. "Why are you here Aizen? I thought you said you were coming in two hours."

Wow, he'd sounded like a bit of an ass there. But there really wasn't any better way to phrase it. And why did it even matter if his wording made it sound like he didn't want the man there? It should be a given that that was what he wanted. And yet it wasn't. Crossing his arms sullenly and glaring at the floor, he scowled at his scattered thoughts, glancing back up only when Aizen answered his question.

"There was a slight change of plans. They were more ahead of schedule than I expected so if we wish to be on time, we must leave now." Ichigo felt a vein twitch in irritation- leave it to Aizen to answer only the question he was asked while keeping everything else a secret. Who was this "they" and what were "they" doing that was early? Before he had time to ponder, his arm was suddenly grabbed in a surprisingly gentle hold and he was tugged out by Aizen, who paused only to order Grimmjow to close the door when he also left the room.

A few minutes after they left, Ichigo debated whether or not he should mention to Aizen that he was still holding his wrist but as if he'd read his mind, the other man let go albeit in what seemed like a reluctant manner. It was almost as if he didn't want to let go. Ichigo wondered why he missed the contact himself.

Wordlessly, they proceeded through a series of hallways in an odd silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't quite comfortable either. It was more like relaxed, like there wasn't any tension straining the air between them and it was strangely calming.

He honestly couldn't say if he liked the feeling or hated it.

When they stopped, Ichigo was surprised to see they were at Orihime's room but when she came out, wearing a kimono of the same black material as his clothes, he began to have a sneaking suspicion of where they were going. It was the fact that Aizen was allowing it that made him cling onto disbelief.

Orihime looked at him questioningly but didn't say anything since Aizen had turned and was now pulling something out of his pocket. Gesturing for both of them to hold their hands out, he dropped a thin bracelet into each of their open hands and ordered, "Put these on. They have a similar effect to my shikai and will prevent anybody from seeing either of you or sensing your presences. You are not to remove them until I state otherwise."

Since it wasn't like they could really object, both slipped it on although Ichigo was sorely tempted to say, "Up yours" when Aizen had used that irritating holier-than-thou tone. He held back only because he didn't want Orihime to suffer the repercussions with him.

When Aizen was satisfied that they were both wearing it, he held up a hand and a crack in the air formed before splitting open into a gargantuan. As if it was a door and he a gentleman, Aizen gestured for them to enter first. When they stepped through, Ichigo felt his eyes widen and heard Orihime gasp softly. Even though everything was darkened by the blanket of night, it was impossible to not recognize the familiar barrack buildings and landmarks like the execution ground that they had come to be familiar with ever since they stormed the area in order to save Rukia from an execution.

They were in Soul Society.

They were currently standing directly above a huge mass of shinigamis, gathered in front of a large black coffin that was illuminated by flickering candles surrounding it. The air was solemn and the hushed silence was broken only by a few muffled sobs from random areas in the gathering. The captains, easily identified by their white haoris, were standing in numerical order in a horizontal line in front of the coffin, their faces frozen in blank neutrality. Even Kenpachi somehow managed to look calmer, his bloodthirsty grin and Yachiru's small form absent from their usual spots.

Nobody was there for a fight. They were attending a funeral.

Ichigo whipped around and stared at Aizen in shock, "Aizen, this-"

A finger was pressed to his lips, silencing him as Aizen bent down and murmured into his ear, "Hush Kurosaki-kun. It is improper to speak during a time of mourning."

Biting down on his lip to prevent any more words from escaping since he knew Aizen was right, Ichigo looked back over the sea of black and honed in on the faces of familiar people. It both tore him apart to see their pained expressions and relieved him to see that they weren't the ones in the casket. Glancing at the black coffin, he felt another lance of pain shoot through him. The casket was open and inside, Rangiku was laid on her back surrounded by a bed of delicate flowers with her hands resting on her chest, her eyes closed and her facial features relaxed. She looked for all the world as if she was merely sleeping. She looked so beautiful but she also looked so terribly incomplete.

Her body was the only one in the coffin.

He heard Orihime let out a choked sob and he understood that her pain was not just caused by seeing the once bright fuku-taicho as a corpse. Glancing up at Aizen's face, he saw only stony composure but he didn't fail to notice the flicker of something in his eyes that indicated he wasn't completely unaffected by the sight.

Ichigo wanted to be angry. Angry that even now, Aizen wouldn't allow his weakness to show despite his beloved student not getting the ceremonious treatment he deserved and angry at the shinigamis for even now, being so cruel to Gin despite the deep love he had shared with Rangiku. But all the anger deflated as the funeral progressed. And it all but transformed back into sadness when Toushiro gave a short but powerful speech, a stoic expression etched onto his unnaturally composed face.

It wasn't fair. Ichigo felt his heart clench painfully as he watched the young face maintain cool indifference, knowing Toushiro was struggling to prevent the grief he was undoubtedly feeling show. A face that shared the same youthful appearance as his little sisters shouldn't have to look so mature... so hardened with painful experiences. He shouldn't have had to suffer a loss so close to his heart.

_Another death that scarred the hearts of the young._

After a few more speeches were given, the soutaicho stepped forward. For an extremely brief moment, he looked so old, his shoulders seeming to sag with a new burden. They had another death to carry, another person who was now nothing more than a memory, another tragedy to remember. He had once again, managed to outlive someone from a younger generation.

_Another death that was burned into the memories of the old._

And then the look was gone, and the ancient shinigami once again looked normal. Since all the shinigamis had lowered their heads in respect, none had witnessed the moment of vulnerability except for the three onlookers. Ichigo could feel Orihime trembling next to him as Rangiku's face was covered by the coffin's lid, could feel the trembling worsen as the soutaicho raised his sword, and then he heard her mournful silent wail when fire erupted from the sword and engulfed the casket.

_Another death that was burned into the eyes of the present._

The swirling embers ate away at the coffin, slowly disintegrating it and the body within. In what felt like an eternity but was in actuality only a few minutes, the flames dwindled and then dispersed completely, leaving behind only a tiny pile of ash. There was a completely dead silence before people began moving. Some who had been close to Rangiku fled the area, most likely to find a place to mourn in private. Others expressed their condolences to Toushiro and members of his division before walking away. The only ones who now remained were the ones who had been extremely close to the 10th division fukutaicho and the captains.

Unohana stepped forward and carefully scooped the tiny pile of ash into her hand and transferred it into a small beautiful ornate box. But instead of immediately putting the lid on, she turned and asked softly, "Soutaicho, is it alright to heed Hitsugaya-taicho's request? I believe it is only befitting given the circumstances of their deaths." Glances were cast in the young prodigy's direction as the soutaicho stood in a contemplative silence.

"Very well."

Ichigo felt hope welling in his chest as Unohana pulled something out of a pocket and the hope became overwhelming relief and happiness when she opened a small bag and poured more ashes into the box- ashes that could only belong to one person.

Only when the bag was completely depleted of its contents did Unohana gently place the lid onto the box. She then approached Toushiro, cradling the box with the utmost care. Holding it out when she was in front of the young captain, she murmured in a quiet, sad tone, "You were the second most important person to her. She would have wanted you to be the last person to be in contact with her." Toushiro didn't say anything, he only gave her a small curt nod as he took the box with such gentleness and care that it simply hurt to watch.

He knew what he had to do. Rangiku wasn't the first friend he had to bury after all.

With an elegant swish of his cloak, he was gone. Ichigo had a feeling the lovers' grave would be close to where Kusaka Soujirou was buried. Both Rangiku and Kusaka had held special places in Toushiro's heart and he didn't think the captain would want the two graves very far away from each other.

Swallowing past the lump in his throat that had formed near the beginning, he glanced down at Orihime and asked quietly, "Orihime? You okay?" She wiped away her tears with her hand before looking up at him and smiling a bit. "I'm alright Ichigo. It hurts and the selfish part of me wishes they didn't have to leave but... I think right now, Rangiku-san and Gin-san are happier than they've ever been. And that's enough for me."

He lightly squeezed her hand, a pathetically small quick gesture of comfort but her smile grew a touch less sad nonetheless. Aizen hadn't spoken any words since the time he had hushed Ichigo but now he stepped in front of the two and said, "Neither of you are foolish enough to believe I brought you here without an ulterior motive." Ichigo tensed and judging by the small sharp intake of breath next to him, he knew Orihime was equally wary.

Aizen's eyes betrayed nothing as he said, "You have now witnessed first-hand one of the tragedies of war. Gin's death and Matsumoto Rangiku's are only two of what will be many." Ichigo's hands balled into fists while Orihime lowered her eyes in sadness. Aizen gazed at them silently as he let his words sink in before quietly stating, "This is why I am going to give you a choice. Both of you a choice."

"Return to Hueco Mundo and stay there during the duration of the war... or return to the Human World."

He received two shocked expressions but he continued as if he didn't notice.

"Should you choose the latter then you must promise to refrain from getting involved in the war any further. These are your two options. I suggest you make your decisions wisely."

_'Go back to Hueco Mundo and be away from the battle or go home and refuse further involvement in the war?'_

_'In the end... isn't he trying to tell us to just stay out of the war?'_

_"Is he... trying to protect us?'_

* * *

><p>AN: Boy, it was hard trying to keep this chapter smooth and not rushed (which I hope I managed to accomplish). I know how I want things to play out but making sure I don't jumble it up is so hard *cry*. A bit of a side note... there will most likely be a grand total of 2 maaaybe 3 (but highly unlikely) sex scenes in this story. And there is a reason for that so smut/lemons/lime/etc fans please don't shoot me. The first one will be UlquiHime in two chappies so fans of that pairing, look forward to it~ The one with AizIchi is still a bit of a ways away and that's because their relationship is slow. But again, there's a reason for the lack of sex scenes in this story. Its not supposed to be about them going at it like bunnies in heat.

Anyhoo, thanks for the reviews and so sorry about the delay in updates. So much to o, so little time. And school's starting soon *sob.*

* * *

><p>And now for the long-awaited... Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Oops_

He heard Orihime let out a choked sob and he understood that her pain was not just caused by seeing the once bright fuku-taicho as a corpse. Glancing up at Aizen's face, he saw only stony composure but he didn't fail to notice the flicker of something in his eyes that indicated he wasn't completely unaffected by the sight.

_Sob. Sniffle. Sob._

Drops plopped down onto a gleaming orb._  
><em>

Ichigo felt a sweatdrop forming as he nudged Orihime and whispered, "Orihime, how much of the eye liquid did you put into your eyes?"

_Sniffle. Sob. Hiccup._

"H-half a bottle." _Sob. _"I think."_ Sob. _"I can't stop cr-crying." Sniffle.

So he noticed. And if the angry steam that was evaporating the drops rising from Ikkaku's head was anything to go by, then he noticed too.

"ARGH! Woman, if you're gonna freaking cry, then cry over somebody else!" the bald shinigami finally exploded.

_Sniffle._

"Oops."

_Scents_

Toushiro didn't say anything, he only gave her a small curt nod as he took the box with such gentleness and care that it simply hurt to watch.

He knew what he had to do. Rangiku wasn't the first friend he had to bury after all.

With an elegant swish of his cloak, he turned... and accidentally dropped the box.

_CRASH!_

There was an awkward silence before Rangiku's voice whined from off-stage, "Taichooo, that was the fifth time!"

Toushiro sighed and muttered, "Sorry, sorry. I can't help it. This thing, it..."

"... it REEKS."

Gin, who was standing next to Rangiku off-stage, brightly said, "Well that would be because the director doesn't like the smell of ash so she sprayed the box with air freshener!"

Toushiro felt a vein twitch in irritation. "Kuchiki, exactly what did you spray this thing with?"

Rukia huffed, "It wasn't me, it was Nii-sama! And he only used the Super Deluxe Chappy Floral Spray so it shouldn't smell bad."

The prodigy could feel a headache coming.

"So that's why it smelled like bunny manure."


	20. Choices: Conflicting feelings

_The future is unpredictable, it is composed of the unknown and of that which has yet to pass. Only the choices of the present can shed some light into its murky depths but it takes courage to make the decisions that will determine one's own path._

* * *

><p>Go back to Hueco Mundo and be away from the battle or go home and refuse further involvement in the war, those were the two options Aizen was presenting. And the asshole had the gall to demand an answer now. Granted the war <em>was<em> only a few months away but still, a funeral had just finished and the grief was far from over. Wasn't Aizen being a bit more hasty than he normally would have been?

Mentally slapping himself back to the matter at hand, Ichigo glanced at Orihime. Oddly enough, despite the lingering anguish in her eyes from witnessing the burial of yet another person she deeply cared for, she looked completely unperturbed by the sudden optimum and Ichigo had a heavy feeling he knew what her response would be. The look in her eyes didn't belong to someone who was anxious to return home, they held only sorrowful acceptance. Noticing his glance, she smiled sadly at him. "Ichigo, my choice is my own. Please... don't let your own decision be affected by mine." Her hand curled around his arm and gave it a light reassuring squeeze which he found some small amount of comfort in. Orihime was right; much as he wanted to, he couldn't make any decisions rashly based solely on his concern for her well-being.

Just a few weeks ago, this wouldn't have been such a difficult decision- he would have demanded to be returned immediately with Orihime because he wouldn't have been able to trust her in the enemy's hands. However, so many things had happened and even more had changed. The espada he had gotten to know, Gin and Rangiku's death, and the rare moments of vulnerability he witnessed in Aizen were creating a chaotic mess of mixed feelings in Ichigo. Those who had once been strangers labeled as cruel and malicious had become people who were prone to the same weaknesses and emotional ties that everyone else had. Ichigo couldn't betray his friends but neither could he kill the people he had begun to grow even the slightest bit fond of. He had people waiting for him in the Human World but he had promises tying him to Hueco Mundo. It was literally as if this was one huge tug-of-war match and he was the rope being stretched into opposing directions. His feelings were so different now than they had when he'd been kidnapped and now he didn't know what to do.

The only thing similar to past feelings and present ones was that he couldn't stay out of the war, that was something that would not, _could _not, change. No matter what, his friends were risking their lives to protect his world and he wanted to fight at their side. No amount of confusing emotions or persuasion would change this. Aizen had to know that, he was far too astute and sharp to miss that particular tenacious trait that was obviously a part of his nature.

So why was he still offering to let the one person who posed the biggest threat to him run free? He was literally using the "stay out of the war" bit as a plausible excuse to let him go.

_'Ugh, this is too confusing.'_

He felt restless stirring within his inner world and then an irritated growl from Shiro.

_"Tch, yer so stupid king." _Friendly as usual.

_'Would it kill you to say something pleasant when you actually decide to grace me with your input?"_

_"Do not blame Shirosaki Ichigo. He is merely immensely displeased with the storm your feelings are creating here. He only wishes for you to find yourself again."_

Ichigo suppressed a wince- no wonder his hollow had sounded a touch cranky. But as much as he wanted to figure things out like Zangetsu said, it was too overwhelming. There were too many factors to take into consideration that contradicted each other, making it impossible to make a choice. He could agonize over it for days and he still wouldn't have an answer. Something suddenly flashed through his mind, a faint glimmer of long shimmering hair before a soft alto voice reverberated through his mind.

_"You speak of strange things child. There is no such thing as impossible."_

Ichigo started, that was certainly not either Shiro or Zangetsu that just spoke. Good grief, did he have _another_ voice in his head?

_A soft musical laugh. "Worry not child, I'm nothing evil."_

That really didn't reassure him. How many times had someone said that only to turn and attempt to cut him down now?

_"Peace child, peace. We have not formally met but I know you and perhaps one day, you will come to know me."_

Right... maybe his depression from the funeral combined with the stress of all this was finally getting to him and he had created a new voice in his head.

_"My being here has nothing to do with such negative emotions child. For you and I to have even been able to speak to one another requires emotions of unequivocal purity and a connection deeper than the one that binds your soul to your zanpakto. _

That didn't exactly explain anything whatsoever but Ichigo had slightly more pressing issues to think about rather than the identity of the next strange entity that decided to inhabit his body, heart, soul or whatever. His head was getting more and more jumbled up as he tried to reach a decision and the frustration caused from being unable to do so was only muddling his mind further. And then the mysterious voice spoke again.

_"Silly child, this is not such a complicated choice."_

_'Not complicated my a-'_

A minute ghostly warmth appeared on the area of his chest just above his heart.

_"This already knows what it wants. You too, already know the course of action you want to take. So clear your mind and examine everything you hold dear closely. The people who make up your world may not be the people who make up your heart."_

Any further retorts died in his mouth as he struggled to figure out the cryptic words of the voice because honestly, if he knew what he wanted, then he wouldn't be so torn right? Letting out a huff of air in irritation, he forced himself to clear all thoughts clouding his head in order to see everything as clearly as he could. The reasons why he had to return flashed through his mind: his precious family, the friends he had to protect, the shinigamis he wanted to fight alongside with, the vaizards who he had started to grow fond of, and his promise to his mother that he would protect the ones he loved no matter what. The first couple should have been enough to convince him and yet... Nel's sweet smile, Stark and Lilynette's surprisingly enjoyable company, the precious memories and faint remnants of Gin's presence, and even Grimmjow's prickly but tolerable company reminded him of the valuable things he had gained.

And what stood out above all of them were impenetrable brown eyes that had shown him glimpses of a person he found himself irresistibly drawn to. And a sense of calm washed over him as he realized the voice was right- he really did know what he wanted. He was only hesitating to accept his choice because he had absolutely no idea what the consequences would be. But then, when did he let thoughts like that stop him?

_'Thanks... er... who are you?'_

_"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that. Even if I tried to, my voice would not reach your ears. Those precious feelings within your heart are not yet strong enough but soon child, one day soon, we will be able to meet. So long as you choose to follow your heart, you and that person will be intimately connected and our meeting will be nothing short of inevitable."_

_"But that is all for another day. You have people waiting for your decision child. Speak that which you have chosen."_

It seriously felt like he had taken ages to come to his conclusion but surprisingly enough, it didn't seem like much time had passed. Orihime's hand was still on his arm and she was only just pulling away. Aizen also didn't look as if he had been waiting long. Ichigo wondered if they were both just extremely patient or if his conversation with the voice had done some weird time warp. He settle with the former since the latter just sounded far too surreal to be true.

Grabbing Orihime's retracting hand, he ignored her puzzled expression as he just gave her a small smile before looking at Aizen. It was hard to say whether the ghost of uncertainty in the former shinigami's eyes actually existed or if it was just an illusion of the eyes. Flicking his gaze back to his friend, Ichigo asked more for the sake of formalities than curiosity since he knew the answer already, "Orihime, what are you going to do?"

If she was startled by the sudden question, she didn't show it. Instead, wrapping both her hands around his, she smiled sadly up at him and replied, "I can't go back anymore. I've found something far too precious for me to give up now and no matter how selfish I know I'm being or how painful the sacrifices I will be making, I don't want to lose that small treasure." The thick sadness in her voice wasn't lost to him and he understood its origins- he knew she was giving up everything she had and everyone she loved with this single choice and the one who would be hurt the most would be Tatsuki. But her mind was set and Ichigo could see no amount of convincing would change Orihime's mind so instead, he refocused his attention on Aizen.

"Send Orihime back to Hueco Mundo." He intentionally left out his own name.

Large doe gray eyes widened briefly before they closed in reluctant acceptance. Orihime's slender arms wrapped around him then and he returned the gesture, letting go only when she didn't seem like she was about to any time soon. Aizen himself was the epitome of indifference though his posture was just the slightest bit stiffer than normal as he opened a gargantuan. Orihime clutched his sleeve and for a moment, Ichigo wondered if she'd changed her mind but then she let the fabric slip through her fingers like water as she murmured, "Ichigo..." He placed a hand on top of her head gently, "See you later Orihime." She blinked in surprise before rubbing some wetness from his eyes away and giving him a brilliant smile.

"You better mean that or I'll get really mad." Clutching his hand tightly, she added, "If you see her, tell her I said I'm sorry. Oh, and Kuchiki-san too! She's helped me so much and I... I'm..." Her voice trembled and Ichigo felt his heart clench at the conflict she was facing that was so similar to his own. Pulling his hand out of hers, he gave her a small smirk that held more confidence than he actually felt.

"They'll be pissed but that's why you have to make sure you don't regret your decision. Got it?"

This time, a small drop of salty liquid slid down her smooth cheek as Orihime beamed.

"Yes sir!"

And with that, she reluctantly backed away into the gargantuan and he watched her until the gate closed and he could no longer see her. Now, it was just the two men alone, a notable change in tensity quickly forming and choking the atmosphere in its relentless grip. Aizen was the first to break the silence, his tone cold and formal, "I shall open one for you n-" A hand that grasped his sleeve cut him off. Ichigo didn't look at him as he asked quietly, "Do you know where my mom's grave is?" Aizen didn't reveal the surprise he must have felt from the very random question as he replied smoothly, "Yes, I do." Ichigo felt that he should be quite upset by the fact that a stranger knew about such a private special place but he couldn't get angry, not since his next question would have shattered that thin boundary separating private and shared anyway.

"Take me there."

He felt the weight of the older man's stare on him as Aizen inquired with curiosity laced in his voice, "When you say 'take you,' are you implying you wish for me to go with you?" Ichigo flushed slightly as he realized some of the implications his request held and he said in a rush, "It's not a trick or anything! No one should be there since its not mom's anniversary yet and none of the shinigamis will be there since its a really important place to me and-"

Aizen's slightly amused voice broke through his ramble. "Calm down Kurosaki-kun, I didn't intend for it sound as if I was accusing you of anything. I merely wished to clarify what you were asking. Though I will admit I am curious as to why you want me to come." Ichigo scowled a bit in embarrassment before he mumbled, "Just take me there you jerk." A thin eyebrow arched elegantly before Aizen took his hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss onto the back of his hand and then replying in a light, teasing manner, his stiff posture eased back into his more familiar arrogant one.

"Your wish is my command."

Ichigo could feel the heat from his blush as his cheeks flared but before he could complain, another gargantuan was opened and Aizen was tugging him through.

* * *

><p>It was nothing like the portal to Soul Society, something he hadn't noticed when he had been kidnapped since he had been too busy trying to escape from his kidnappers. Rather than a desperate run through a tunnel with a stupid monster cleaner chasing them, it was more of a leisurely stroll through a completely black abyss with white rectangles forming a path which they walked on towards a light at the end.<p>

Concealing his awe at the foreignness of the place, Ichigo voiced something that had worried him, his voice echoing slightly in the darkness. "Won't the shinigamis notice a gargantuan opening? They've got those radar things..." Aizen just kept walking as he easily replied, "Yes but if they fail to sense anything coming out of it then they will merely be warier and more cautious. Unless a tangible enemy comes out, they will treat the area where the gargantuan opened as a trap and stake it out. Perhaps if your reiatsu was free, then we would face minor complications however this," fingers grazed the back of Ichigo's neck and lightly touched the collar resting there, "This solves that problem. Quite marvelously too, might I add." Ichigo blamed the small shiver that ran down his spine on the fact that he was just extremely sensitive and ticklish and most certainly not that he had felt something akin to excitement from the touch.

Entering the Human World for the first time in what felt like ages -though it was in actuality only a few weeks- was as anticlimactic as Aizen had predicted. The moment they stepped out of the gargantuan, Aizen grabbed Ichigo around the waist (he had let out an embarrassing squeak of surprise) and shunpo-ed in the direction of the cemetery where his mom had been buried. He belatedly noticed that not only had Aizen taken into consideration to have them appear in an area devoid of any shinigamis, he had also made sure that they were a considerable distance away from the area of the town where his human friends were, sparing him from having to see them without any way to communicate them. He couldn't say whether that was for his sake or if it was Aizen being an ass.

Houses, facilities, and other buildings he recognized passed by in a blur beneath a dark blanket of stars and a glowing crescent moon, and there was the river he had spent many years sitting on the banks of, regretting and despairing over his mother's death. So many places that held memories of happiness and pain alike. Karakura Town truly deserved the title of his home. And then, before he knew it, they were flashing past trees on a familiar path he had walked so many times before. The familiar dull ache that came with visiting his mom's grave was there but for some inexplicable reason, it wasn't as bad as it usually was. The warm arm around his waist shifted just a bit, placing him in a slightly more comfortable position and he mildly considered that maybe it wasn't as strange as he felt it should be.

Karakura was his home and held the people he cherished but it was missing something essential and Ichigo knew there was only one place where he could find the missing piece.

And it wasn't in his hometown.

Aizen's voice broke through his musings, his tone slightly apologetic as he said, "I'm afraid this is where my knowledge runs dry Kurosaki-kun. I do not know the precise location of your mother's grave." Ichigo mentally scolded himself for not having realized that before as he replied, "It's fine, you can put me down now Aizen. We can walk the rest of the way." With a gentleness that was just plain unfair coming from the person he would have to eventually face on a battlefield, Aizen set him down and almost reluctantly pulled away. Silently, they walked past rows of smooth stony graves until at last, they stopped in front of one right in the middle of a row, slightly wilting flowers leaning against its weather-worn surface and partially concealing the words engraved into the stone.

Kneeling down, Ichigo carefully set the flowers so that they weren't leaning over so much anymore, mentally making a note that the colder weather was making it difficult for the flowers to stay alive again. Sitting back on the heels of his feet, he gazed at the grave for a while before saying quietly, "Hey Mom, its been a while." Aizen moved to back away a little to give him privacy but Ichigo grabbed the hem of his cloak and shook his head, silently conveying that he didn't want Aizen to leave.

Once he was sure the other man wasn't going anywhere, Ichigo turned back to the grave and continued talking, "Sorry about not visiting you since the anniversary. A lot of stuff has been going on but you probably already knew that." The dream when his mom had visited him popped up in his head and he managed a small smile. "You told me that strength isn't just about physical power and will power, that it encompasses so much more than that. I think I understand what you were trying to say, even if its just a bit." Reaching out and pressing his fingers against the cold stone near his mother's name, he could almost see a tender smile adorning a beautiful face. "I won't break any of my promises that I've made. I'm going to keep moving forward no matter what. I wanted you to know that because out of anyone I know, dead or alive, you'll always be the first person to accept my choices."

A soft breeze blew by and caressed his cheek and for a moment, he could imagine his mother's hand touching him affectionately before the feeling vanished, and he was back to being alone. Well, not exactly alone. Murmuring his gratitude one last time to his mother, he slowly stood back up, his mind racing and struggling to find the right words for what he wanted to say.

Stretching his muscles a bit, he gave up trying to think about it and instead, turned to face Aizen who had dutifully remained the entire time. Masking his mild embarrassment from having been seen during such a private and intimate moment with a surety he most certainly wasn't actually feeling, he stated, "I lost." When the other man gave him the barest of a puzzled glance, he shifted uncomfortably on his feet before speaking again. "That bet we had about whether or not I would give in to you and your... persuasion methods after two weeks remember?" Aizen seemed genuinely surprised by the topic- it had apparently completely slipped from his memory.

Shuffling a bit more, Ichigo scowled and muttered, "I think I actually lost a while ago but my obstinacy kept me from admitting it even to myself." Aizen tilted his head slightly to the side. "In other words, you are attracted to me." It was more of a statement than a question. Ichigo felt blood color his cheeks again but he nodded in confirmation. "But it is safe to assume that this does not mean you will fight by my side willingly." Another nod. Aizen briefly closed his eyes. "Then what is the reason for you telling me this Kurosaki-kun?"

Ichigo was only partially surprised that Aizen wasn't trying to force him to join him like their deal had entailed because a small part of him already knew instinctively that both he and Aizen had changed a bit since the day he had been brought to Hueco Mundo. Not enough to bring an end to the war but enough to make them think differently than before.

"I want to offer a new deal."

Aizen's eyes snapped open and startled chocolate brown eyes met determined honey brown ones. Though he clearly hadn't been expecting that, Aizen maintained most of his composure as he asked, "And that would be...?" Ichigo replied with a question of his own, "When do you plan on starting the fight?" The "final" went unsaid but he knew Aizen would understand what he meant. He wasn't wrong. "Before this year ends, or, if you wish for a specific date, by December 30th, either I will have attained godhood or the shinigamis will have killed me." The way he had so calmly mentioned his death was frightening. It wasn't even a matter of being too certain of victory like before; now, it was just calm acceptance of the two possible outcomes. It made Ichigo more determined than before to make sure that this time around, he was the one who won the bet.

"Then, starting from now until that day, I want you to let me show you things I don't think you know about to try to prevent this war from happening."

The skepticism in the other's eyes weren't lost to him. "I know you think there's no way anything will stop you from waging this stupid war but that's only because no one has tried to show you that there's more to life than just power and conquests. I think..." _'I think I might be starting to know the real reason why you started this war. I think I know what it is you're really trying to find.' _"I think I can give you things this war won't ever be able to."

Aizen's face betrayed nothing except mild doubt but he didn't outright reject the proposal. Instead, he said lightly, "Your words and your actions seem to contradict each other Kurosaki-kun. How do you expect to... show me anything if you remain in the Human World?" Ichigo scowled a bit, some unrealistic side of him had been hoping to avoid this question. Turning his head a bit so he could see his mom's grave, he replied quietly, "I wasn't sure you would take me seriously." When Aizen didn't say anything, he elaborated, "Gin and Rangiku-san's funeral had just ended. You might have thought that I was trying to avoid going home and facing the losses or staying in Hueco Mundo to cling to the memories I have there of the real side of Gin I came to know. I couldn't say you would believe I was in a proper state of thinking had I brought up this deal in Soul Society right above Gin and Rangiku-san's grave."

"But my mom's grave is a different story. I have only brought people here who I have sworn promises to, promises that I would do everything in my power to keep. I vowed to protect my family, I promised Rukia I would fight the hollows and protect both living and dead people in my town, and now," he turned back to face Aizen with a new sense of calm and sureness that eased his mind and made the words that came out of his mouth all the more sincere.

"Now, I swear that I will not leave Hueco Mundo until I have convinced you to stop the war."

Protecting his friends and keeping his promises in Hueco Mundo, this was the only way he could think of that had a chance of accomplishing both. Yes, the selfish side of him wanted to see where this budding attraction between him and Aizen could go but he also had to keep his priorities straight. If he couldn't pick a side in the war to fight on then he just had to make sure it didn't even happen.

Hell of a lot easier said than done but it was a challenge he was willing to face even if it meant risking a lot of emotional pain in the future if things didn't work out. This was his choice and he would accept the consequences that followed.

Aizen didn't say anything but a brief glimpse of some emotion flitted in his eyes that Ichigo was almost certain was relief of some kind and he was yet again reminded that the man had just lost perhaps the only person who he truly cared for and he had just been about to lose another who he was attracted to in some way. But before they went back, he had somethings he needed to do. "Can we just... go see some people before we go? It won't take too long."

He was glad when his request wasn't refused. "Who do you wish to see?" Ichigo looked in the direction of his home and though Aizen looked oddly displeased, he didn't protest. The only one who was remotely spiritually strong was Karin and she was probably asleep by now. The idiot goat-face and Yuzu wouldn't have been able to see either him or Aizen even if they had been awake.

He was once again, lifted and carried in a secure grip as Aizen flash-stepped them to his house and suddenly, he was in front of the familiar pleasant building he had known since the day he was born. Nostalgia and mild homesickness washed over him as Aizen set him down. Quietly sliding the door open, he stepped inside and the scent of antiseptic combined with the faint fragrance of whatever Yuzu had cooked for dinner wafted by and he smiled a bit at the odd combination.

Carefully avoiding the creaky areas of the floor more out of paranoia than necessity, he paused by his father's room and silently apologized before making his way up the stairs to his sisters' bedroom. Gently pushing the door open, his heart clenched at the sight that greeted him.

Yuzu had not slept in Karin's bed since the day their mom had died. And here she was, snuggled against her twin, Karin's arms wrapped protectively around her even though both of them showed signs of having cried. Kneeling down at the side of the bed, he carefully pulled the blankets up more so that their shoulders were completely covered before he gently pat both of them on the head.

"I'm sorry Karin, Yuzu. I know it's hard but stay strong for just a while longer. Everything will be over soon, I promise."

The only replies he got were the sounds of soft breathing as the two continued sleeping, blissfully unaware of anything and everything and Ichigo wished it would last if only to spare them from any more pain. Leaning over, he gave both a quick kiss on their heads, something he hadn't done since they were younger before he stood up. Walking to the window, he murmured a soft goodbye before he stepped onto the ledge and then into the waiting arms of Aizen.

Asking for one last stop, he directed Aizen to Tatsuki's house. The female karate champ was faring better than his sisters but he could see the fatigue and worry she must have been feeling since his and Orihime's disappearance if the dark bags under her eyes were an indication of anything even though she was sleeping peacefully now. It was slightly more awkward being in the room of his childhood friend since she wasn't exactly family but he had a promise to keep.

Walking over, he gave Tatsuki's hand a light squeeze. "You always were such a worrywart when it involved Orihime. I know you can't hear me but please, try to feel that connection you and Orihime share. She's happy and safe and even though she can't be with you, she wants you to stop worrying about her and somehow be happy without her. You're strong Tatsuki, I know you can do it."

He couldn't say for sure but he could have sworn he saw her body relax just the slightest bit and he fervently prayed that she wouldn't break down, at least not until he explained everything to her fully when everything was over.

Stepping away again, he walked to the window and once more, found himself in Aizen's gentle hold. Burying his face into the older man's shoulder, he reigned in his emotions before weakly mumbling, "Let's go back. I don't have anything else I need to do here." He could feel small vibrations, caused by speaking, through Aizen's clothes as the man replied quietly, "Of course."

As Aizen opened a gargantuan and stepped through with his face still hidden in Aizen's shoulder, Ichigo failed to see the silhouette of a figure that had been following him and Aizen since his stop at his family's house.

* * *

><p>AN: That... was brutal. I somehow found time to write this! *cheers wildly* I had quite a few new mysteries added in but never fear, they will all be explained... eventually. School and homework will make the next update not possible for another looong time but hopefully it will happen soon. I'm hoping this story will be finished by the 30th chapter but that's just an approximation. Keep reviewing and look forward to the next chapter~

* * *

><p>And of course for a good dose of humor... Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Sleeping Habits 1_

Yuzu had not slept in Karin's bed since the day their mom had died. And here she was, snuggled against her twin, Karin's arms wrapped protectively around her even though both of them showed signs of having cried. Ichigo blinked when he realized why. Upon closer inspection, Yuzu's foot was crushing poor Karin's side in a very painful-looking manner. Meanwhile, Karin's leg was shoved against Yuzu's stomach and Ichigo was reminded the reason why the twins didn't like having to do sleeping scenes.

Neither could stay still long enough to look like they were asleep but when they were put to sleep, they attacked each other viciously. At this point, he honestly couldn't say if the tears were caused by the chemical dripped into their eyes earlier or if they were legit tears.

_Sleeping habits 2_

The female karate champ was faring better than his sisters but he could see the fatigue and worry she must have been feeling since his and Orihime's disappearance if the dark bags under her eyes were an indication of anything even though she was sleeping peacefully now. Ichigo felt slight trepidation which he hoped wasn't showing since that would ruin the scene but he had a gut feeling this wouldn't go down well anyway since they had taken a while to get started and there was a high chance Tatsuki had fallen asleep in her position. Tatsuki was supposed to be fake-sleeping and there was a very good reason why.

Reluctantly approaching her bed, he had two seconds to clamp his hands onto his ears.

"WHO WANTS TO FIGHT ME?"

"BRING IT BITCHES!"

"I AM THE QUEEN OF FIGHTING~"

"OH YEAH~"

Tatsuki had a terrible habit of singing in a loud, grating voice, a song that didn't even exist and in a voice that made ears bleed.


	21. UlquiHime: True Love Begins

Good God it's been so long -_-;;

I sincerely apologize for my hiatus and I won't bother trying to explain since it's all excuses. Unfortunately, these long periods of time between updates will continue until the summer when I will finally be free again.

On a happier note, here is the next chapter~ It is not AizIchi so I'm sorry for raising the hopes of my fellow yaoi fans but it is (possibly) the last chapter that will focus solely on UlquiHime. After this point, they will most likely just appear throughout random chapters.

And thank you for all the reviews~ Your supportive comments are much appreciated and I enjoy reading all of them!

Warnings: My first attempt at a sex scene. I tried to make it sound as natural as possible but depicting passionate emotions is not my strong point. If they seem too... stiff or robotic let me know!

* * *

><p><em>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<em>

Ulquiorra was immensely displeased.

Why should there be such emptiness inside him that his hole had never made him feel that resulted from the absence of one mere human girl? Such a thing was absolutely inexplicable, humans could not possibly possess such a strange and despicable power that haunted his every thought. It defied logic.

And yet, there was no denying he had never felt more hollow than now as he stepped into the empty room that once held a human girl with eyes filled with so many vivid emotions and a soul that reached out to others no matter who or what they were. He could still smell her scent, a sweet smell reminiscent of a delicate flower which was fitting for the woman- despite a weak appearance, she had remained strong against even the most chaotic of winds. She possessed a kindness that was almost as sickeningly sweet as that disgusting substance humans ingested called sugar yet she shined with a brilliance the pathetic moon hovering over Hueco Mundo could never achieve. She was special, unique, completely different from the somber creatures of Hueco Mundo.

And now she was gone.

Gazing at the spot in front of the window she had always seemed to like, Ulquiorra felt something he hadn't felt since he had been an adjucha, a feeling he had long forgotten and erased from his being after he had sworn to serve Aizen.

Loneliness.

When had the woman taken such a hold over him? When had she become such a force in his life that he felt this much desolation without her? When had she become more important to him than even Aizen-sama?

He had been the one who pushed her away. So why was he yearning for her?

He did not have a heart. He had lost it when he became a hollow. Emotions, desire, all of these were things he should no longer be capable of. He could not understand this. How could he be feeling these things if he didn't have a heart?

"There isn't just one heart Ulquiorra."

Said hollow stiffened just the slightest. Was he so pathetic now that he was imagining the woman's voice in his head? Was he so desperate for the woman that he was actually imagining that she was still here? Footsteps approached quietly behind him and then a painfully familiar slim hand touched his back, on the side where his heart should have been.

"I don't care what other people say. To me, there are two types of hearts. One is the organ that beats life into living beings, the one you already know. The other isn't so easy to see or understand. It's much more fundamental, far more intertwined with the core of our very being no matter who or what we are. That heart is the one that allows us to feel, it represents the feelings that we feel deep within, the feelings we suppress or try to hide. People don't seem to realize it but this other heart has a name, a name they constantly overlook because it's generally not associated with emotions the way a heart is. Do you know what it is?"

Ulquiorra didn't turn, he didn't want the illusion to end. So he just shook his head slightly.

"Courage."

The hand on the back of his shirt was joined by her other one and they clenched the fabric as if the action alone would convey what she was trying to say. "Courage let's people say the things they're too afraid to say. It fuses with our strongest emotions and comes out of us in the form of words and actions. It becomes honesty and establishes bonds of trust between people. Courage... is what gives emotions the power to exist." She was touching him but her hands weren't trembling. She was touching her enemy but she had no fear, only calm determination. Her voice mirrored this quiet strength.

"Ulquiorra... look at me?"

He didn't want to but it was as if she had some sort of hold over his body because he found himself slowly turning so that he was staring at what he had been so desperately wishing to see. The hands that had moved away from his back when he turned now found their way to his face and tilted his head down so that he was looking directly into large doe eyes.

Her smile was more radiant than he remembered.

"Why... are you here woman?"

Silky orange hair flowed in the air like water as she tilted her head slightly and asked, "Why shouldn't I be here?"

Ire slipped into his eyes, to squish the small tingle of hope he was feeling as he said lowly and just a tad harshly, "Do not play games with me woman. Why did you not return to the Human World? Your precious friends are there are they not? Are you choosing to abandon them?" Her eyes became more melancholic and he almost regretted his words but then the sadness vanished and was replaced by determination and surety.

"Yes, I do have many people that I care about in the Human World. But..." She smiled again, this time with something in it that made it even more beautiful than any of her other ones, "I wouldn't be able to survive there, not when half of my heart is bound to here." And then, she was leaning up and her warm, soft lips pressed gently against his for the briefest moment before she pulled back and murmured, "I would rather have holes in my heart than have it completely torn in half. I love my friends but I will not betray this precious feeling."

Ulqiorra didn't move, didn't say anything, before he almost cautiously asked, "You are not leaving?" She looked him directly in the eyes, "I won't go anywhere if you're not there Ulquiorra. My friends... they make up my world but you are the core of it. If you aren't there," she leaned her head against his chest, "If you aren't there then my world will fall apart."

Looking past him to the window, her eyes became a bit more distant as she said quietly, "I love you, more than I loved Ichigo. My weak side saw him as a knight that would save me, my new stronger side wants to stand at his back and protect him. But even that I can't do because that is not my place, at least not until I'm stronger and definitely not until I can stand at his back with you. And this new me wants to be by your side and never leave you again." She gazed back up at him and asked in that same soft voice, "Will you let me?"

They're eyes bore into each other, hers seeking for answers and his searching for something even he didn't know. But when he saw the blatant honesty in her grey depths and again, that complete absence of fear, he finally answered her.

"I do not understand your words but... perhaps I can learn. If you truly intend to become mine, then I shall attempt to understand what this 'heart' is that you speak of."

Her face flushed prettily and the smile that accompanied it took his breath away for just a moment as she said happily, "You already have one Ulquiorra. Accepting my feelings even though its outside your comfort zone... that is a part of the heart I call courage." Ulquiorra didn't really think such a simple action could possibly mean he had this "heart" she kept speaking of but as he had stated before, he would attempt to try to understand her words, at least a little.

Their lips met again, this time initiated by both of them, and it was so languid, so intimate, that Ulquiorra craved much more. He could feel his instincts roaring with lust and desire but he refused to be ruled by them. He would not let his instincts be the things that destroyed this fragile but very real thing between him and this woman.

He forgot how perceptive Inoue Orihime was.

Long lashes fluttering over slightly hazy eyes, Orihime gently held Ulquiorra's face in her hands again and looked him directly in the eyes. "Ulquiorra, do hollows have a special way of bonding with each other?" His blank look answered her so she smiled and said, "Humans do and I'm sure you know what it is. It's the ultimate act of love in which both partners give everything that they have in a single moment." Entwining their hands together, she looked up at him with such profound emotion he felt he could drown in the mesmerizing gray depths of her eyes and he almost missed what she said next.

"Ulquiorra... take me."

The bluntness of her demand made him pause before he asked cautiously, "You understand the implications of your words correct?" She giggled softly before replying, "Of course I do." Reaching up and pressing their foreheads together - both noting he had not flinched this time - she said in such a happy, blissful tone, "I have given you almost everything: my heart, my love, my soul. But the one thing I still have not shared with you is my body and I don't want what we have to be incomplete. I want to give you the only thing I can give away once."

* * *

><p>The soft plush bed creaked as the two entangled bodies fell onto it. Pale hands crushed Orihime's lips to paler but equally soft lips in fierce, desperate kisses. Wrapping her arms around his head, she tugged him closer so their bodies were flush against each other, grinding through the fabric that still clothed them. Finally breaking his barrage of kisses, Ulquiorra pulled himself up and gazed down at Orihime's flushed body beneath him, her eyes shining brighter than ever with lust, passion, happiness, and an emotion he was sure was love.<p>

Her gaze turned a touch questioning but he ignored it and instead, leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again only this time, he suppressed his wild urges and forced himself to explore her mouth languidly and almost tenderly. Her tongue delicately met his and enticed it into a slow dance that left them both breathless and craving for more. Much to Orihime's surprise and inward delight though, Ulquiorra didn't attack her fervently again. Instead, he maintained that supreme self-control he had exerted in their kiss and moved with a grace and gentleness that touched her.

Carefully pulling her dress off, he bared her naked body to him, her most private parts covered only by a lacy but simple bra and a pair of underwear. Snaking his lithe arms around her, he unhooked the clasp of her bra and peeled it away, letting it join the growing pile of discarded clothes on the ground next to the bed before lightly nipping at her neck and gently massaging one of her breasts. She arched her back when his lips trailed down along her collarbone to her other unoccupied breast, his teeth taking the caramel perked tip and gently biting which elicited a breathy moan from her swollen lips. Fingers fumbling a little due to the attention her sensitive chest was being given, Orihime eventually managed to unzip Ulquiorra's shirt and then she proceeded to slide it off, revealing an expanse of smooth pale skin that fit his beautiful lean body.

Running her hands over toned muscles on his back, she trailed a finger around the circumference of his hollow hole. Though she loved the feel of Ulquiorra's mouth and hands on her pert breasts, she wanted to see everything her lover had so she breathily murmured, "Ulquiorra, can I see it?" She didn't even need to specify what since he automatically pulled away and sat up again, allowing her a full view of the missing part in his chest. He watched as she trailed her fingers around it like she had done on his back, his emerald eyes betraying nothing though his words voiced his insecurity.

"Does it disgust you woman?"

Orihime smiled before leaning forward and pressing kisses around the hole, replying only after she had made a full cycle around it.

"It's wonderful just like the rest of you. With or without it, Ulquiorra is Ulquiorra and that's all that matters to me."

A low possessive growl escaped him and she felt a tremor of thrill in her body as his eyes darkened with animalistic want and lust. And yet once more, he reigned in his lust and began exploring every inch of her body slowly and carefully, his tongue gliding down the cleavage between her breasts to the dip of her bellybutton while his hands ran along the sides of her waist. Orihime had threaded her hands into his hair, tugging and guiding his head down until at last, his teeth grazed the edge of her remaining article of clothing.

Their eyes connected once more before she gave him an encouraging smile. Pulling the flexible cloth down along her legs, his lips trailed with it and she let out a shuddering breath as his warm breath hit the exposed skin on the inside of her thigh. The second she felt herself completely nude, she pulled Ulquiorra to look at her again as she said, "Wait, I want to see you fully too." As she said this, her hands made their way to his pants before she began pulling them off, her tongue exploring each section of newly exposed skin. She blushed slightly when she saw the noticeable bulge of his erection suddenly since he hadn't been wearing undergarments but she determinedly removed his pants completely, his body now also fully naked.

Raising her head, she met his lips again in another slow but wet kiss, their tongues tangling together again until a need for air broke them apart again. Orihime gazed at him from beneath long dark eyelashes as she pressed one more small kiss to his lips before whispering into his ear.

"Ulquiorra, take me. Take all of me. And don't you dare hold back."

That snapped whatever tenuous hold he had over his actions and suddenly she was pressed against the mattress, her wrists held down in a carefully tight hold so as not to crush the bones in them, while her lips were captured in another furious and almost desperate kiss. She reacted with as much fervor as she felt two fingers press against the folds of her womanhood. She shuddered as she felt them slide in, scissoring quickly yet gently and it was soon not enough.

"Mm Ulquiorra... I want... ah!... more."

To emphasis her point, she thrust her hips forward to meet his fingers before clamping down on them, her eyes open and blazing with wanton desire. He didn't need any further encouragement. Lifting her legs over his shoulders, he positioned himself at her entrance before abruptly slamming into her. "Ah! Ngh... U-Ulqui..." Orihime jerked a bit at the sudden intrusion as a slight stinging pain shot through her and the small whimper of pain escaped her before she could stop it. Ulquiorra pressed his forehead to hers apologetically and he murmured softly, "I did not mean to hurt you." She blinked in surprise when he placed a gentle kiss to her head before he began moving once more.

This time, he pulled out slowly and then eased his way back in and the pain she felt before was replaced by a much more pleasurable sensation. Wrapping her legs around him, she pulled him closer as he sheathed himself fully inside her. For a couple seconds, there were no sounds other than slightly labored breathing before Orihime smiled and said, "I'm used to it now Ulquiorra. I know you don't want to hurt me but don't forget what I said." Sharp emerald eyes met her soft gray ones.

"Then I will not hold back anymore."

And then he was pulling out of her only to slam back in just a few seconds later. Her hips jerked to meet his each time he surged back in and now the sound of skin meeting skin in a frenzied rhythm mingled with the sounds of their breathing and moans of pleasure. Orihime saw stars as she felt Ulquiorra's long girth penetrate her deeper and deeper and then she heard something that made the pleasure she was experiencing almost unbearable.

"-me... Ori... hime..."

For the first time ever, Ulqiorra was saying her name. Small tears glided down her cheeks and when Ulquiorra saw them, she made sure to smile, to let him know that she was alright. Neither wanted to stop when they were so close to reaching their peak. Changing his angle just a bit, Ulquiorra pushed in as deeply as what was bodily possible and ejaculated, his semen filling her warm tight cavern. As they lay pressed closely and waited for their bodies to calm down from their euphoria, Orihime brought her arms up and wrapped them around him.

Ulquiorra didn't react but after a moment, he pulled out of her body and her embrace and lay beside her so he wasn't crushing her with his body. And then, much to her surprise, he wound his arms around her as well before pulling her close to him again. Flushing a little, Orihime nestled against him and then murmured softly, "That was the first time... the first time you said my name." Remembering her tears, Ulquiorra inquired slightly stiffly, "Did it displease you?" Giggling, she tilted her head up to see him and then said, "I wish you would do it more often." Leaning her head against the crook of his neck, she sighed and then whispered sleepily, "But that... can wait... until... you..."

Her breathing evened out and she was asleep before he could hear the rest but he understood that she was willing to wait until he was ready. Threading his fingers through her hair loosely and caressing the soft strands, he held her in his arms and they stayed that way for the entire duration of her sleep.

* * *

><p>AN: Urgh, came out shorter than I would have liked but I hope it was satisfactory. I hope you enjoyed this UlquiHime chappie het fans and never fear to my yaoi/shounen ai fans, mostly everything from here on out will be about Aizen and Ichigo 3 Remember, reviews are love~

* * *

><p>I've missed these so much... Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Hell's Fury_

And now she was gone.

Gazing at the spot in front of the window she had always seemed to like, Ulquiorra felt something he hadn't felt since he had been an adjucha, a feeling he had long forgotten and erased from his being after he had sworn to serve Aizen.

Loneliness.

_Crash! Bang!_

"Ouch! Nel-chan what are you doing?"

When had the woman taken such a hold over him? When had she become such a force in his life that he felt this much desolation without her? When had she become more important to him than even Aizen-sama?

He had been the one who pushed her away. So why was he yearning for her?

"Nel was feeling lonely 'cause Itsugo wasn't in this scene! Nel wants to play!"

...He did not have a heart. He had lost it when he became a hollow. Emotions, desire, all of these were things he should no longer be capable of. He-

"PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!"

...

Ulquiorra could feel his patience waning.

"Ahh Nel-chan, please quiet down!"

"NO! I wanna play!"

"PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!"

_Snap._

Hell hath no fury compared to a pissed off Ulquiorra.

_Spying is a Bad Hobby_

Her breathing evened out and she was asleep before he could hear the rest but he understood that she was willing to wait until he was ready. Threading his fingers through her hair loosely and caressing the soft strands, he held her in his arms and they stayed that way for the entire duration of her sleep.

"Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful ya two~"

Orihime jerked in surprise while Ulquiorra shifted a bit and glared over to where Gin was sitting just outside of the camera's range. "What is a dead character doing interrupting the scene?" he asked, irritation seeping into his voice. Gin pouted and whined, "I ain't interferin'! I'm spyin'!"

It was then that they noticed Gin's usual white robes were missing, replaced by... a black ninja outfit. Orihime blinked and then said, "Um, Gin-san, what are you...?" "Spyin'!" "Well yes, I see that but..." Her sentence was never finished because before anymore could be said, Gin was diving out of the way of a bunch of ceros by a very peeved Ulquiorra.

Lessons learned?

Spying is a bad hobby.

Spying dressed as a ninja is dangerous.

Spying dressed as a ninja on Ulquiorra is suicide.


	22. Precious Gifts: Acknowledging Feelings

Back from the dead! Finally finished this chapter~ It ended being sort of like a string of important events in the time gap between after the funeral and the week before the Winter War starts since I think it would have been incredibly boring going through interactions/events day by day for both readers and myself. So here it is~

* * *

><p><em>Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.<em>

Ichigo really should have expected it but he was still knocked to the ground the instant he and Aizen stepped into the large building of Las Noches by a little green energetic blur. "ITSYUGO!" Nel's delighted tone quickly morphed into bawling as she began blubbering about how she thought 'Grimmy' had eaten him or something along those lines. Grimacing at the mere thought of the sexta's demonic grin as he ripped his body apart, something that was unfortunately not as unrealistic as he wished it was, Ichigo patted Nel on the back awkwardly and said in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "Calm down Nel, I'm not going anywhere. So stop crying, alright?"

Sniffling, the little hollow looked at him with her big teary eyes before giving him one of her goofy grins. His feelings from everything that had happened were still a chaotic mess but Nel's silly expression soothed him the same way Karin and Yuzu's antics had back when they were younger. As he listened to Nel share her stories of the terror she and Lilynette had unleashed on Grimmjow and Starrk, had he looked up, Ichigo would have seen a gentle -almost fond- gaze in Aizen's eyes.

"Aizen-sama, may I have a word?"

Ichigo and Nel jumped a bit at Tousen's voice but Aizen was long used to the spontaneous and silent appearances of the person who had helped make his departure from Soul Society run more easily than it would have been with just he and Gin though his situation was a bit different from theirs. Tousen was full of bitterness but he possessed a sort of kindness in him that was rather out of place in the world of hollows. Before Ichigo had come, Aizen never thought of Tousen's situation as significant however now, he considered contemplating ways to fix the severely damaged relationship between Tousen and Soul Society. He valued the man's silent but supportive presence however the air of melancholy surrounding him surely had to do with more than just the woman he had lost. Try as he might to act normally, Aizen had always known, on some deeper level he hadn't really acknowledged until now, that Tousen did still possess a powerful attachment to the seventh division's captain as well as his lieutenant Hisagi Shuuhei. It might be too late however the blind man may be treated with more leniency in terms of punishment if Aizen played his cards right. It would perhaps grant Tousen some amount of relief from the actions he was surely regretting deep down.

Kurosaki Ichigo truly was rubbing off on him if he was thinking so deeply for the sake of another person he never gave a second thought to before.

Throughout all this inner contemplation, Aizen had maneuvered himself to follow Tousen further down the hall out of the earshot of Ichigo and Nel, the former now struggling to listen to Nel's stories while Grimmjow stormed over and began raging about the "little terrors" though surprisingly enough, it seemed he was relieved to see Ichigo back. Amused but no longer concerned about having to save Ichigo from an enraged sexta, Aizen gave his former colleague his full attention and asked pleasantly, "Is something the matter Kaname?" Tousen's milky blank eyes reflected nothing as he said politely, "Welcome back Aizen-sama." Raising an eyebrow slightly, Aizen replied evenly, "Thank you but that is not what you wished to discuss correct?" Tousen's expression remained unreadable however when he spoke, his deep voice held something akin to concern as he stated boldly, "Forgive my audacity my lord however I feel it is pertinent to say this: you are becoming dangerously attached to Kurosaki Ichigo."

Aizen wondered if he was truly being so transparent that even a blind man noticed something but he knew better than anyone else that Tousen's keen observation abilities were not to be underestimated. Retaining his collected neutrality, Aizen replied lightly, "I am quite aware of that Kaname." The slight tinge of warning in his voice was definitely more than noticeable to his keen subordinate however the bronze-skinned man still maintained a perturbed tone. "Emotions blind the greatest of men my lord. Even if they are god." Aizen's calm smile thinned a bit as he stated a touch more icily than before, "As a master of manipulating people through their emotions Kaname, I am fully aware of the dangers of letting them cloud my judgment."

He was not angry per say; Aizen knew Kaname was only speaking out like this out of worry on his behalf however his pride would not allow anyone to imply doubts about his capabilities. Turning with an elegant swish of his long white robes, Aizen said dismissively, "If that is all you wished to say, I have work that requires my attention." Kaname bowed in acknowledgment but as Aizen strode away, the blind man murmured softly, just loud enough for Aizen to hear though he pretended not to notice, "One never realizes just how far they have fallen in love until they are forced to give up everything for it, including their life. Please bear that in mind my lord." And then he was moving away, his hand absently reaching out and finding the faithful head of Wonderweiss who bounded out from behind a pillar to greet him, happily crawling beside him like a puppy as Tousen disappeared beyond a different hallway.

Aizen would never admit it out loud however he was somewhat put off by Tousen's words- not so much by his warning but by that final comment.

Love?

Had Aizen really fallen that hard for Kurosaki Ichigo? A boy -for he was still not yet considered an adult even in human terms- who was essentially his greatest obstacle; who had even blatantly told him that he was going to try to change his mind about warring against the shinigamis.

A boy... who rarely smiled and yet held so much kindness in his strong heart. A boy who could never truly hate someone, who could never let the compassion in his soul die even though he housed a hollow in his consciousness. A boy who possessed greater courage and determination and simple purity than any aged person he had ever encountered.

A boy... who he honestly could not call a boy anymore but a young man who understood what it meant to fight or to die.

His zanpakuto hummed faintly in his mind and he hesitated before entering the hallway where the source of his inner turmoil was, closing his eyes briefly and schooling his features to their normal collected state. He could sense Kyoka Suigetsu murmuring faintly in his head, her wise voice asking him what it was he wanted. Glancing through the doorway to where Ichigo was kneeling, a tiny smile on his lips as he watched Nel deliver her 'Super-Vicious-and-Strong-Megabite to Grimmjow, Aizen thought things over.

It would only be a matter of time before this growing affection for his enemy became definitively stronger than his desire to win the war.

The decisive question was what he should do now when his desires were still wavering. Should he succumb to his feelings and allow them to lead him down a path that could only end with one or both of them killed? Or should he end this game now when he could still kill the shinigami substitute without destroying himself entirely in the process? Ichigo saw something in him no one had ever managed to see before, himself included. He saw the heart he thought he had annihilated centuries ago, saw the compassion he never dreamed continued to exist. Ichigo was dangerously perceptive at times, perhaps even more so than even Gin was and he was a master at drawing out the kindness he had always ruthlessly suppressed. Was his... budding relationship with Ichigo more important than his former goals?

It was the first time he had ever experienced such uncertainty. But when he looked at the young man who was disrupting his life to such a terrifying extent, he could not deny the lightness in his chest, a feeling of tranquility and an almost tender desire for him. It was a feeling he had never experienced in his entire life and it was both unsettling and yet something he never wanted to disappear. Was this still merely desire? Or was it...

"Aizen-sama?"

The lazy voice of his primera broke his thoughts and he turned slightly to see sleepy eyes looking at him with a tinge of curiosity in their gray-blue depths. Lilynette stood faithfully at his side, her body straight and stiff with respect but her single-eyed gaze would drift beyond him to stare longingly through the doorway. Aizen gave them one of his blank smiles as he stepped aside and said, "Go on, I'm sure Kurosaki-kun would like to see you." Lilynette was instantly running past him and it wasn't long before a startled shout came from Grimmjow, a delighted squeal from Nel, and a surprised "Lily!" from Ichigo could be heard. Starrk started walking by too but before he entered, he asked sleepily, "Aren't you coming Aizen-sama?"

Aizen glanced at the primera's back briefly before asking, "What made you think I was?" The espada released a yawn before his broad shoulders lifted in a careless shrug.

"Don't know... you just seemed kind of lonely standing out here, that's all."

And then he was also gone and Ichigo's startled "Uwah!" could be heard as Starrk undoubtedly decided to use his lap for his next pillow. Aizen was still for a moment, his subordinate's words washing over him and then mingling with others.

_"You just seemed kind of lonely, standing out here."_

_"One never realizes just how far they have fallen in love until they are forced to give up everything for it, including their life."_

And then Gin, whose relentless teasing and subtle hints continued to haunt him even now, echoed in his ears, his mischievous voice both jovial but mixed with what he should have been able to identify as sadness when he'd first heard those words.

_"Ichi-tan is so cute~ Wouldn' it'a been great if the two of ya had met earlier? Maybe... maybe then things woulda been good and worked out. For both of ya..."_

And finally Kyoka Suigetsu, the words she had whispered in his mind only a few moments prior weighed heavily with their significance that for once, had rendered him incapable of responding.

_"Strength is a strange word my dear master. I can grant you power but that is not the same as to have strength. To use power for yourself may make you invincible but to use power for the sake of another makes you strong. Invincibility or strength, which is it that you desire?"_

Power and strength... so similar and yet so different. Aizen decided to push thoughts of them away for now. It was not like him to ignore things that required immediate attention and he knew it wouldn't be long before he was forced to make a decision of some kind but for now... for now, he just wanted to watch the small tender smile that illuminated Ichigo's face.

* * *

><p>"Hey Aizen?"<p>

The lord of Hueco Mundo glanced up from the documents in front of him to where Ichigo was reclined on the couch across the room from his desk, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow upon his lithe form from the window above him. He had changed back into the standard white clothes a few hours after reuniting with his arrancar companions and then spent the next few days with them, letting their antics help ease his emotional turmoil. Understanding his need for space, Aizen had let him do as he pleased, ignoring the twinges of jealousy whenever he saw how content the young man was with his subordinates and Inoue Orihime whenever she and Ulquiorra paid visits from their own personal haven.

Resentful as he was, Aizen had skillfully refrained from taking his frustration out on others and had instead, determinedly focused on his work. As such, he was caught off guard when Ichigo knocked on his door late one night, asking if it was alright if he could stay for a while. For a while, neither had spoken which suited Aizen well enough since it was peaceful rather than awkward and whilst he did his work, he could spare occasional, swift glances at his guest whose white-clothed body glowed beneath the moon's light and gave him the radiance of an angel.

It was beautiful.

Remembering that the younger shinigami had called for his attention, Aizen scribbled down a couple quick notes before asking, "What is it Kurosaki-kun?" Ichigo didn't respond immediately. Instead, he rolled over onto his stomach -balancing himself rather precariously on the edge of the couch- and started tracing random patterns with his finger on the ground. When Aizen flicked his gaze to him briefly again, he saw the young man had adopted a rather thoughtful expression and he idly wondered what was going on in that unpredictable head before returning his attention to his work. He paused once more however when Ichigo sighed before asking quietly, "Do you regret any of your actions?"

Looking over yet again, Aizen met intense honey brown eyes and decided to indulge in the younger shinigami's curiosity. He set aside his papers since he knew Ichigo would be quite irritated if he answered his question in a dismissive manner so his work would have to wait for now. Putting his pen on top of the neat stack he had made, he placed his elbows on the surface of his desk and rest his chin on entwined fingers, looking directly at those lovely eyes and giving his undivided attention to Ichigo who seemed somewhat surprised by the attentiveness he was receiving but determined enough to not look away.

'Stubborn as usual,' Aizen mentally mused with a touch of fondness.

"I regret nothing."

There was a fleeting flash of something in those mesmerizing honey brown depths -perhaps disappointment or something along those lines. Aizen had a feeling Ichigo had been hoping there was at least some semblance of guilt inside him for his actions and it was both strange and endearing that the younger man insisted on seeking out the humanity he still apparently possessed. Eyes dancing with mild amusement, Aizen said, "I presume the primary cause of your question stems from my actions against my vice captain?"

Flushing slightly at having been read so easily, Ichigo nodded. "Ran... Rangiku-san... she told me about it when she was super drunk. She rambled about how devoted Hinamori was to you and then about how cruel you were to cut her down so mercilessly." Aizen mentally commended Ichigo for bringing up the deceased shinigami's name- her death was still relatively fresh in his mind and the raw pain in his gaze was evidence of his grief. Knowing that Ichigo would probably appreciate some form of distraction from his thoughts as soon as possible, Aizen said mildly, "Contrary to popular belief, I did have some amount of affection for my division, Hinamori-kun in particular. She had such wonderful potential and her kido skills were phenomenal. Given the right motivation and training, she would have been able to produce spells that not even the most experienced of kido masters could come up with."

The pain had ebbed away somewhat as Ichigo looked at him with some confusion and Aizen withheld an amused smile. Ichigo really was easy to read, especially when he wore his emotions so openly. So similar to Hinamori who had worn her heart on her sleeve like Ichigo did yet so different in terms of resolve.

"Her devotion to me was a crippling weakness. Unlike Gin who used his loyalty -fake as it was at the time- to climb his way up the ranks, Hinamori-kun was satisfied with working until she reached vice captain level and then staying at that level so long as it meant being with me. She refused to see past the day I first saved her and her companions during one of their trials in the human realm. I felt that if she was truly that dedicated to me and only me to such an extent then she was better off dead."

Ichigo's fingers stopped playing on the ground as he cocked his head to the side and said in mild befuddlement, "I thought that was what you wanted." Aizen straightened up, brushing some loose strands of brown hair out of his face as he replied calmly, "Yes, I wanted loyalty. But loyalty that prevents improvement is quite useless." Mulling that over, Ichigo decided that made sense- Gin (it still hurt to think of the stupidly devoted foxy man), Tousen, the espada... each held some amount of loyalty to Aizen but they all strived to become stronger for both his sake and for their own. He could never say he thought Aizen's actions were justified because like hell they were. But at least he understood him a bit better. He understood that the older shinigami was not just utterly heartless, that there was more behind his actions than apathy, that behind all that ruthless ambition, there was someone who possessed a heart with kindness. He had seen it before when Aizen had expressed sincere grief over Gin's demise but he saw it again now and he was glad.

_"Aww ain't that jus' the sweetest thing king~ Maybe that li'l heart o' his can show ya some sexy-ass love."_

Ichigo would have fallen onto the ground in an inelegant, blushing sprawl if Aizen hadn't somehow crossed the room in an instant, his arms wrapped securely around him and holding him up from colliding painfully with the unforgiving floor. Ichigo blinked before his face lit up even more like a burst flames and he started scrambling to sit up while spewing out a string of apologies. "S-sorry! That idiot Shiro said something stupid and it really embarr- er, surprised me and I sort of fell and I swear that wasn't intentional and- Lips suddenly pressed against his and all the rest of his words died in his throat and his flailing all but screeched to a halt.

Aizen could sense the hesitation and uncertainty radiating from the body he held so he was surprised when a few seconds later, he felt soft, pliant lips press back slowly and cautiously. This kiss had such an innocent feel to it and yet there was greater intimacy now than all the previous kisses he had forced upon Ichigo.

The difference between simply taking and mutually reciprocating was quite astounding and not at all unpleasant.

With great reluctance, Aizen pulled away only because he was worried that he might do something he would surely regret later. Ichigo's head suddenly pressed against his shoulder and he looked down at spiky orange tresses questioningly.

"You're so unfair Aizen."

Aizen smirked slightly as he shifted his grip so that his arms were now loosely wrapped around Ichigo's lithe frame. "I believe that is my line Kurosaki-kun." Had anyone told him a few weeks ago that he would hug his arch nemesis in such a gentle manner, he would have set Nnoitra loose on them and not felt a shred of remorse for it. It should be realistically impossible for someone to have him wrapped around their finger so tightly when it was supposed to have been the other way around.

Truly unfair indeed.

They stayed like that, Ichigo in Aizen's lap with his face buried in his robes and Aizen with his eyes closed in contentment, his arms wrapped around Ichigo's waist and for a moment, they could pretend that nothing else mattered except for this moment of peace that existed just for them.

* * *

><p>"Pwesent!"<p>

Ichigo gave Nel a strange look at her rather random outburst considering just a few minutes ago, she and Lilynette had been whispering to each other rather fervently a short distance away while Starrk lay draped on his lap again, sound asleep. "Present?" Nel nodded her head in what she probably assumed was a wise manner as Lilynette jabbed a finger at him and exclaimed dramatically, "Exactly! There's that thing in the human world right? The princesa told us about it, that thing where you give your most important person a present!" They looked so proud of themselves that Ichigo really didn't have the heart to tell them they were kind of getting Christmas -what he assumed they were talking about- and Valentine's Day mixed up. He had a feeling Orihime had tweaked her definition of Christmas to make it sound more interesting than just 'give friends and family gifts.'

Deciding to humor them, Ichigo asked amusedly, "Alright, what do you guys want?" Though they did pause and get dreamy looks in their eyes, they quickly shook their heads and Lilynette said earnestly, "Not us! Aren't you gonna give Aizen-sama something?" Ichigo's face instantly turned bright red and he smacked Starrk on the forehead when he noticed the primera's lips twitch briefly. That was _not_ funny dammit!

Looking back at the expectant expressions on the smaller hollows' faces, Ichigo suppressed the urge to sigh as he said reluctantly, "Uh, haven't really thought about it..." Lilynette puffed her cheeks out in a rather adorable pout while Nel scrambled over Starrk's face -miraculously not gouging out his eyes in the process though he _was_ the primera for a reason- and clinging to his shirt as she whined, "Why not Itsyugo? Aren't you gonna gwive Aizen-thama a pwesent?" Patting her head, Ichigo did release a sigh this time as he said, "Even if I was, I have no clue about what I would get him." That sent the two girls babbling a random list of 'potential gifts' he just knew Aizen was not going to appreciate. What the heck would the great lord of Hueco Mundo do with the decapitated head of some vasto lord? Hang it on the wall? Eat it?

Ichigo supposed he could cook something for the man. He actually had no idea what Aizen ate considering hollows tended to eat other souls (or each other) and maybe the occasional cooked food depending on whether anyone wanted to go through the actual effort of making something. And well... he'd never actually seen Aizen eat so he wasn't sure if he even needed to. Thinking about it more, Ichigo threw the idea away- not only was it next to impossible to figure out what Aizen liked without giving his idea away, the whole cooking thing was way too domestic for his liking. Like hell he was going to have some pretty dinner set up like a house wife.

"Tea."

Blinking, Ichigo looked down at Starrk whose eyes were still closed but the absence of deep breathing indicated he was awake. Tilting his head to the side, Ichigo furrowed his brow in confusion as he asked, "Tea? I thought Tousen or Aizen himself makes it already." That and it went with the problem of being too domestic. His doubts must have shown somehow because the primera yawned before lazily muttering, "There's a certain type of tea that Ichimaru Gin-sama made just for Aizen-sama. He was always very guarded about his recipes so Gin-sama never let anyone else see how he made it, not even Aizen-sama." Gray-blue orbs revealed themselves as Starrk murmured, "The only time Aizen-sama ever looked truly content though was when he and Gin-sama drank that special tea together."

Ignoring the slight twinge in his chest -Ichigo refused to admit that it was envy- he said hesitantly, "Then wouldn't it be rude if I looked at his recipe when he obviously went to such lengths to keep it a secret?" Starrk's eyes closed again but he replied, "As long as it's you, I don't think Gin-sama would have minded." Such a simple sentence but it touched Ichigo deeply. Even if it was just speculation on Starrk's part, he felt a strong reassurance that Gin really would have wanted him to learn the recipe. It was a baseless assumption and maybe it was presumptuous to assume Gin would give him something that was clearly very special and dear to him to an outsider like Ichigo but...

"If it's really bothering you then just go into Gin-sama's room. If he wanted someone to find his stash of recipes then he'd have left clues that only the person would understand."

Focusing his attention on the primera again, Ichigo blinked before smiling slightly- for someone who always looked too sleepy to notice anything about anyone else, he was very astute. The weight on his lap shifted as Starrk rolled over and off of him, his head hitting the floor with a worrisome thud but the peaceful snores coming from him eased Ichigo's concern. Telling Nel and Lilynette to stay with Starrk, he stood and hurried off in the direction he vaguely recalled Gin's room was. He wasn't sure if he was ready to go to the intimate sanctuary of someone whose death was still painfully close to his heart but this was something he really wanted to do- for himself, for Gin's spirit, and for Aizen.

It was quite the effort finding Gin's room (he eventually had to reluctantly ask a creepily smiling Szayel for directions, politely declining the drink offered to him) and now that he stood in front of a closed door, his hand resting on the silver knob, a small flick of the wrist away from turning it and opening it, he found himself hesitating. Was it really okay for him to enter? Starrk said it was fine but did that mean much in the grand scheme of things?

Biting his lower lip, Ichigo strengthened his resolve before looking at the door with steeled eyes. Screw this, he knew damn well Starrk's opinions were not based on guesses only and he was _not_ going to chicken out because of some spontaneous insecurities. Gripping the knob tightly, and turning, he could have sworn he felt a flicker of Gin's reiatsu respond before there was a small clicking sound and the door opened.

Gin's room was surprisingly simple- the area the door opened to contained only a low, black table and two couches of a dull orange color on opposite sides of it. On the marble surface of the table was a clear glass candy box partially filled with small fruits of the same color as the couches. The walls were decorated with tasteful paintings of abstract flowers, each one also a dark orange color. Ichigo felt his breath catch as a lump formed in his throat- every colored thing in the room aside from the table was the same color as dried persimmons.

Feeling more like an intruder than ever before, he hesitantly walked further in and blinked when a faint smell filled his sense. It was so familiar... The emotional blow when he realized why nearly made him collapse. It was the mingled scent of Rangiku's perfume and Gin's cologne, the two smells intertwined in the air like two lovers embracing each other. How torturous it must have been for Gin to sit in his own room, smelling the scent of the woman he loved while never truly being able to touch her. The lump was getting bigger and there was now wetness in his eyes that he stubbornly refused to release. Ichigo took a minute to compose himself- he did not want to wallow in misery in Gin's room when he knew the man would have wanted him to stay strong.

His resolve shaking but not broken, Ichigo proceeded to look around, noting that the room branched into other smaller rooms- a bathroom to the right, a mini library to the left and a dark room straight ahead which he presumed was Gin's bedroom. Hesitating briefly, he slowly walked in and flicked on the light. Again, it was quite simple: a perfectly made bed with a stand beside it, a closet to the far left against the wall, and that was it. Knowing it was a bit foolish, Ichigo checked the most obvious place first- the stand with drawers. But it was empty save for a picture frame laying facedown on the top. Lifting it up, Ichigo couldn't find it in him to be surprised when a beautiful, younger but still recognizable orange-haired vice captain appeared, her smiling face directed to something else indicating that she had not been aware of the picture being taken.

Gin was dishonest and a sneak even back then not that that was much of a surprise.

Setting the picture down carefully and upright, Ichigo checked the closet but it was only full of clothes. He searched almost every nook and cranny of the room, going so far as to check each individual pocket of the clothes in the room before collapsing onto the bed in frustration. Where the hell could Gin have possibly hidden something in a room so simple?

Rolling onto his side, Ichigo gazed at Rangiku's smiling face again and wished not for the first time that both she and Gin were still alive and wreaking havoc on their favorite people. Ichigo blinked before thinking more deeply about what he had just thought.

Gin.

Photograph.

Favorite people.

Special people...

Rangiku.

_Aizen._

Leaping up, Ichigo grabbed the picture again and searched for a way to open it. He felt his heart beat faster when he found a clasp on the side and with clumsy fingers, he opened it. Carefully removing the picture from the frame -which also had the signature persimmon color- he held it up and then slowly flipped it over. The crushing wave of disappointment that he felt when there was nothing on the back brought a string of curses to his lips.

"Fuck! What the hell am I supposed to do now? This... this was my last hope..."

Clutching the picture tightly in his fists, he struggled to hold back his cries of frustration. He had endured so much emotional pressure that he had been successfully holding back since the funeral in the short two hours he had searched in Gin's room and for what? For something Gin may or may not have wanted someone to find with an even less likely chance of the one he wanted to be the finder Ichigo.

He had just seen what could have possibly been a reflection of Gin's soul, of the things he cherished the most beyond the facade he put up for others. He had just endured several painful reminders of the two people who had been lost when he thought he had been slowly getting over it. He blinked in surprise when he felt something sliding down his cheek. Bringing his hand up, Ichigo was stunned when he felt the wet tear there. The last time he had cried was the year his mother died. Since then, he had been focused solely on getting stronger. So why...? Why now? Why was he...? But even as he asked these questions, he knew the answers.

He was crying because two important people had died.

He was crying because these two people had died for something precious to them.

He was crying because while these two people were able to move on together forever like they had wanted, they had left behind everyone else without a word.

Drops of water landed softly on the photograph, dampening it as Ichigo closed his eyes and let himself do what he had struggled to hold back in his journey to become stronger. This was fine- no one was around, no one could see this moment of weakness, no one would ever know that he had cared for an enemy just as much as he had for a friend.

Lids fluttering open briefly, Ichigo wiped his eyes when he noticed something on the photograph that hadn't been there before.

Words.

Words in the areas that were wet were slowly appearing.

Staring in disbelief, Ichigo let a few more tears drop drown, angling the picture so that they landed on the remaining dry areas and then watched as Gin's elegant scrawl slowly but surely made itself visible.

_Yo Berry-tan~_

_If yer lookin' at this then that means I probably went along with my stupidity and kicked the bucket. Yer probably pissed as hell and Aizen-taicho's probably mopin' in his bedroom or office but try ta understand that this was somethin' I wanted, selfish as it is._

_But that's all besides the point. I must'a hurt ya a lot Berry-tan. If ya found this, then Starrk kept his promise ta not interfere with my business an' he managed ta pass on my message to ya. I set up everything so that you would be the only one ta find this letter._

_How'd I know you'd be able ta find it is probably what yer wonderin' right now. __That's easy, yer the one who is most attuned to yer heart. I wrote this letter knowin' that in order to find it, you would hafta go through my room and knowin' you, you would go through a lot of emotional stress._

_I didn't do this ta be mean._

_Yer a tough kid Berry-tan. So much so that I knew you would hold all yer feelings back just 'cause ya don't wanna worry anyone. But that ain't healthy for a growin' kid like ya. So I made sure that in order ta read this, you would have to release yer pent up grief. _

_Only you would have the courage ta cry in this place aside from Nel-chan and Hime-chan._

_An' only you would have a reason ta cry for someone like me._

_You've been strong and I'm damn proud of ya. Take care of Aizen-taicho in my stead._

_Thank you Ichigo._

He couldn't breathe. His chest ached so badly that it felt like someone was squeezing his heart. Gin had gone on and written the recipe below and Ichigo forced himself to read it over and over again until he knew it word for word. Letting himself cry or just a couple minutes longer, he then carefully smoothed the picture out as best as he could and put it back in the frame. Then he took it to the lounge room where he placed it on the table next to the candy box of dried persimmons so that Rangiku's gaze and her sweet smile was always directed at the one thing that had always connected her to the man who had loved her more than anyone else.

He left the room and locked it, somehow knowing that the door would never open to anyone else ever again.

* * *

><p>When Aizen stepped into the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea for himself a week before the day he would go to war with Soul Society, he was hit with a nostalgic scent he thought he would never smell again. It was foolish but for a moment, he dared to let himself hope that everything had been an elaborate scheme, that Gin was still alive and he was sitting inside with his usual grin, ready to laugh at the mess he had made. But when he looked at the small counter in the middle of the kitchen, he was presented not with Gin's silver hair and jovial smile but bright orange hair.<p>

Ichigo was sitting at the counter on a stool with his head buried in his arms, two cups of steaming tea near him. Carefully keeping his mask of composure up, Aizen walked over slowly and asked, "Kurosaki-kun, are you alright?" He thought the young man had been crying but when Ichigo lifted his head, there were no tears, only a sort of weariness that was so unbefitting of such a vibrant person.

Instead of answering his question, Ichigo looked at the cups of tea and murmured, "This is the first time I've tried out Gin's recipe. I had to tweak it a little since I didn't know where some of the leaves he used were but I think it'll taste similar enough." Looking at him directly, Aizen could tell making the tea had been more than just physically taxing for Ichigo- he could almost feel Ichigo's pain merging with his.

Sliding a hand over Ichigo's fisted one, he said, "You didn't have to do this." Ichigo's other hand covered his and the younger man clutched it tightly, briefly. "You're right. But I wanted to do this and I think it's something I needed. What both of us needed." Aizen couldn't really respond to that since he knew Ichigo was right. Picking up one of the cups delicately, he watched Ichigo do the same. They didn't exchange any words, there was no need to, and then they both took a sip.

It was different from Gin's tea though the similarities were there. The color and the soothing effects were the same. But whereas Gin's had been a touch sharp and bitter, Ichigo's was more mellow, and he could almost taste the raw kindness and gentleness that encompassed who Ichigo was.

Gin's tea was his favorite. Ichigo's was his new drug.

Savoring the taste, Aizen flicked his gaze to Ichigo when the shinigami sighed and muttered unhappily, "It doesn't taste the way Gin described it. I screwed up." Lips twitching up into a small smile, Aizen took another sip before saying lightly, "It is different. But that just serves to show you are you and Gin is Gin. And I find your flavor just as special and unique as his. You're similar enough to make me drop my guard around you but you're different enough that... I can never make the mistake of using you as a substitute for Gin."

Aizen set the cup down and raised his hand to gently touch Ichigo's cheek as he said in what was probably the most honest way he had ever spoken, "You are both irreplaceable to me and you have no need to force yourself to make up for Gin's absence. But thank you, for letting me feel his presence so strongly again."

A light dusting of red colored Ichigo's cheeks before he put his own cup down and slowly moved closer until he was pressed against Aizen who almost instinctively wrapped his arms around the younger's lithe frame. Ichigo leaned against him, finding comfort in Aizen's hold before he asked quietly, "Is there really no way to end the war peacefully? I don't want Christmas to be stained with the blood of anybody else. I don't want to see anybody else die ever again."

Tightening his hold slightly, Aizen rubbed his back soothingly and thought for a moment before he finally replied assuredly, "It is perhaps possible." When Ichigo looked up at him in surprise, Aizen felt a tug of fondness in his heart before he spoke again. "I mean what I said. There is still time to try to negotiate with Soul Society. They have no desire to wage a costly war and I... I have found something that means more to me than any promise of godship." Leaning down, he brushed his lips against Ichigo's tenderly.

"I will need a bit of time to persuade the hollows and to determine appropriate terms to reach an agreement with Seiretei however rest assured, I will do what I can to end things without any fighting."

Releasing his hold on the speechless Ichigo, Aizen slipped a hand into his white robes. "It is a bit early however considering you have given me something for Christmas, it seems only appropriate that I do the same." Taking Ichigo's hand and holding it palm up, he pulled something out and placed it on his hand.

Ichigo blinked, eyes widening as he stared at the slim, silver ring attached to a thin chain that gleamed under the kitchen's light. There was a small clear crystal on it that contained something flickering and upon closer inspection, Ichigo realized it was a tiny amount of Aizen's reiatsu, somehow sealed within the little gem.

"Aizen, this is-" A finger to his lips silenced him.

"Sousuke. Call me Sousuke Ichigo."

Perhaps he was being too forward- Ichigo looked like he was reeling from everything that was happening but to his relief, the red head absorbed everything well enough that he was able to look at him and say hesitantly, "Ai- Sousuke, I can't accept this. It-"

"It was not just for you. It was something for me as well. I will admit that I took the liberty to make one for myself that contains a piece of your reiatsu that I obtained when we were at your home. When everything is over and if I am able to live," he pulled the hand that held the ring to his lips and kissed it, murmuring, "I hope to see the day when you will wear it on your finger rather than around your neck."

Ichigo's face brightened to a whole new degree of red but to his credit, he managed not to completely trip over his words as he looked away awkwardly and replied, "D- don't get your hopes up! I still think you're an annoying megalomaniac." Aizen smiled benignly, causing some of the heat in Ichigo's embarrassment die down as he added in a quiet mumble, "You can't die then. If Soul Society demands your execution, you sure as hell better defend yourself." Facing him once more, Ichigo's eyes burned with a beautiful determination, the same intensity there as when he had fought desperately to save Kuchiki Rukia.

"I won't let them kill you."

And Aizen knew he was speaking the truth. They had moved beyond the point of no return by now. The growing relationship between them had exceeded any desires to win a war, they were no longer enemies that had the resolve to kill each other.

If everything went well, there would be no casualties and he would be able to stay at Ichigo's side, not as a friend, not as family, but as something more.

He truly had fallen in love with the young substitute shinigami.

* * *

><p>AN: Whoa that was super long... Um, present as an apology for going on these super long hiatuses? I'm thinking this will be coming to an end soon, 4-6 more chapters ^^ Thanks to all the readers for putting up with my inconsistent updates. I should have more time to write soon so hopefully I'll be able to wrap up TW and then pick up Perfect Harmony again which just hasn't been getting any love from me for so long T^T.

* * *

><p>As if this needs to be any longer... oh well. Deleted Scenes!<p>

_Cooking_

Rolling onto his side, Ichigo gazed at Rangiku's smiling face again and wished not for the first time that both she and Gin were still alive and wreaking havoc on their favorite people. Ichigo blinked before thinking more deeply about what he had just thought.

Gin.

Photograph.

Favorite people.

Special people...

Rangiku.

Rice dumplings covered with hot sauce, mayonnaise, and syrup.

...

Huh?

Ichigo blinked when he realized his gaze had wandered from the photograph to across the room where said pile of food was sitting. Staring at the concoction, Ichigo felt a vein twitch.

"Rangiku-san! The set is NOT a place for you to hide your afternoon tea snacks!"

"B-But they're not for me~ They're for Gin!"

Ichigo face-palmed and then sighed. No wonder the poor guy was absent from work today...

_Sleeping_

Focusing his attention on the primera again, Ichigo blinked before smiling slightly- for someone who always looked too sleepy to notice anything about anyone else, he was very astute. The weight on his lap shifted as Starrk rolled over and off of him...

And into a puddle of Nel's drool.

Ichigo edged away from the poor primera while Nel and Lilynette high-fived, clearly very proud of their handiwork. "Yeah! Nice job Nel, that'll teach him not to sleep so much on or off the stage!" Sweatdropping slightly at their happy antics, Ichigo wasn't sure if he should be horrified or awed by the fact that throughout the slime and loud cheering, Starrk was still asleep.


	23. Interlude: Decisions of the Gotei 13

Making preparations to negotiate with Soul Society was not easy. Aside from the issues regarding the content of a peace agreement, Aizen was very cautious about completely trusting the shinigamis. He was more than aware that the odds of getting trapped should he approach them directly were very high and it was difficult to ascertain whether they would be willing to listen to reason after managing to capture him.

Perhaps a tiny handful of them would sympathize with him such as the ever kind-hearted Ukitake or the infinitely unperturbed Unohana but the majority would demand his immediate execution and that would be quite counterproductive. As such, he had to figure out a plan that had the highest likelihood of getting his sincerity across without too much hassle and hopefully without violence.

He did not want to hurt them after making such a promise to Ichigo.

So, as much as it wounded his pride to do so, he decided to call the one person who would most likely hear him out and assist him given the… unexpected circumstances. The key term being "most likely" of course. One could never tell when dealing with someone as unpredictable and cunning as yourself after all.

Later in the night after he and Ichigo had secured and established the closeness of their tentative but blossoming relationship by allowing for the usage of first names, Aizen ordered Tousen to temporarily assume command of Hueco Mundo before he opened a gargantuan and vanished.

It was time to pay a visit to the one person who could possibly help him out at this point.

* * *

><p>Urahara was, if anything, a very cautious man.<p>

From his daily antics to his serious decisions, everything was dealt with in a calculative manner that promised better results than impulsive actions. He knew which words were appropriate in just about any situation and he could develop several hypothetical scenarios for events that had yet to take place, scenarios for which he developed solutions and possible consequences as well.

All in all, it was very difficult to set him off balance.

Unless of course, he was dealing with one Aizen Sousuke who just so happened to be the one who got him exiled from Soul Society, thereby forcing him to lose everything he had while he escaped unscathed and innocent and who had simply, out of the blue, sent him a cryptic and coded message requesting a meeting in a secluded location regarding the war as well as his best friend's missing son.

To say Urahara was wary and just a bit nervous would be an understatement as he watched Aizen glide into the large, empty warehouse room they had selected as their meeting spot. Not that he would let the lying bastard know that. The fact that Yoruichi had been unable to come with him since she had secluded herself to train and was thus not contactable was not very comforting. His hand curled around Benihime's familiar hilt and he felt a brush of reassurance from her for which he was very grateful. Her support was all he needed to adopt his usual cheerfulness for now though the light tone in his voice when he spoke belied the dangerous and less than friendly glint in his eyes.

"You have quite a lot of nerve Aizen, calling me out like this when I have more than enough resentment towards you to attack immediately had I been a lesser person."

Said man merely smiled one of his overly polite and -now that he thoroughly knew the traitor's true colors- completely fake smile. That spark of irritation and hostility flared again but Urahara brushed it aside; he knew that any distractions, emotional ones especially, were a lethal hazard when dealing with this particular adversary.

Though there seemed to be something off about said person now that he was looking at him clearly.

Aizen was the epitome of collected and calm as usual however Urahara caught the ever so slight stiffness in his shoulders and there was a thrum of restlessness in his reiatsu, as if he had just as little desire to be in the room as he himself did. That, if possible, put him more on guard. As much as it was pleasing to see Aizen uncomfortable about something, that probably meant that whatever he wanted would put him in an equally undesirable position.

"I need your assistance."

Urahara blinked. Did he really just hear those words come from _Aizen_? The man whose middle name was arrogance and who had been the one to wrong countless people? He had destroyed the vaizards' lives as well as his own and had been the leading cause of Tessai and Yoruichi falling into disgrace from their esteemed positions. He had thrown Seiretei into a chaotic mess that left several severely injured both mentally and physically and he had kidnapped two people he and many others were very fond of. And now he was asking for _help_?

"That was a pretty awful joke coming from someone of your caliber Aizen. Surely you could have come up with something that was at least a tad more believable," he replied flippantly, eyes hard and calculating as he tried to gauge what this man before him was plotting.

The entire situation was completely askew and so there had to be an intricate plot embedded in here somewhere.

The bastard had the nerve to come unarmed and though that could just be an illusion to make him lower his guard, Urahara had a feeling that Kyoka Suigetsu truly was not there with them. Either this was a severe underestimation of the depth of his grudge or Aizen was being overly confident, more so than usual this time.

To his credit, Aizen did not look particularly put off by the jab, he merely replied smoothly, "I assure you that my words are not a joke Urahara. There is something I must do and I require your help." Curling his lips into a mocking and bitter sneer, the exiled shinigami tightened his grip on Benihime. "Or what? You'll snatch me away like you did with Inoue-san and Kurosaki-kun?" Something flickered in Aizen's eyes -the first shadow of emotion he had revealed- and Urahara was surprised to recognize the glimpse of something akin to concern, an emotion he was not entirely sure he wanted to see in his enemy's eyes especially when it involved two people quite dear to him.

"I wish to negotiate with Soul Society."

The shadows cast by his hat hid the surprised widening of Urahara's eyes though he knew the other man was probably aware of how startling those words were. Aizen himself seemed slightly hesitant about saying it out loud however he made no move to retract his statement. Swallowing past the sudden dryness in his throat, Urahara debated over the honesty of those words. Aizen was a professional at lying, even more so than himself. If there was anyone who could randomly claim a frog was god and turn hundreds into worshippers of that single frog, it was him.

"And exactly what would you be negotiating?"

Again, a ghost of emotion flickered to life before vanishing entirely. "Would you believe me if I said it was to bring an end to the war in a peaceful manner?" Urahara scoffed and almost wrote the question off as mocking but something held him back. Maybe it was the fact Aizen looked more serious now than ever before. No, that was something that could be easily pulled off by this particular skilled actor. Then perhaps it was the faint reminder drifting in his head that Aizen had come to him all but weaponless save for his enormous reiatsu and kido skills. While Aizen could get the slip on an unsuspecting captain with his kido, Urahara was far more talented at evasive tactics and gauging the capacities of his opponents for Aizen to have believed that was enough to take him down should their 'chat' go wrong. The fact that Aizen came to him disadvantaged confused him but again, that wasn't what made him give the other man the benefit of the doubt.

So maybe it was the fact that his nose, used to detecting even the barest of scents after performing many dangerous experiments, could smell in the room a delicate mix of his chemical-stained scent, Aizen's sophisticated one, rich and velvety like bitter dark chocolate and tea, and a more exotic, spicy smell of cinnamon that Urahara immediately knew belonged to one scowling, orange-haired young man. It was the weakest of the three but it was there, and Urahara knew for sure that it was not coming from himself or the warehouse room. Which brought up the question of why Aizen had Ichigo's scent on him. While it wasn't overpowering, the lingering scent wasn't weak either and it had to be due to more than a couple casual touches or brief physical contact in general. What exactly was going on in the white sands of Hueco Mundo, beyond the watchful eyes of the shinigamis?

Cutting off whatever biting remarks he was about to say, Urahara flapped his fan contemplatively. It was evident that the situation surrounding Aizen's sudden proposal involved Ichigo and that something had changed between them. Whether it was for the better or the worse had yet to be determined for the time being.

At last, he asked, "Why should I trust you?" It was neither meant as an accusation towards Aizen's lying nature nor as a question asked for the sake of formalities. Urahara genuinely wanted to know what made Aizen come to him, why he thought it pertinent that the man he ruined be the one to help him.

There was a quiet moment, and Urahara wasn't sure if he should be glad Aizen was thinking his response carefully or wary that he was about to be fed a fabricated lie. Either case was possible and unfortunately, the latter seemed more likely. He was once again, quite surprised however when the other man gazed at him with a mildly uncomfortable but relatively open look that contained nothing but genuine fondness as he said quietly, "I made a promise to him. And I know that if it's for him, you will help me keep that promise."

He didn't need to ask who the 'him' was referring to. All he needed to know was that whatever Aizen had planned, it was on the behalf of Ichigo, someone with no ulterior motives save for the safety of those he cared about. If Ichigo was being tricked, he would kill this man before him himself but the niggling reminder of those strangely honest emotions in Aizen's usually carefully pleasant or blank eyes told him that whatever was going on between his student and his nemesis was no lie. He still didn't trust Aizen, he would have to be an absolute fool to do so, but he could listen. Listen with his mind open and unclouded by hate as long as it was for the sake of his precious, kindhearted student.

"I'm listening."

* * *

><p>The atmosphere in the first division was riddled with tense wariness. Most of the captains had adopted looks of disengagement though beneath their cool facades was a simmering heat and unease. Even Zaraki was for once, silent, not picking a fight with Kurostuchi though he still wore his usual crazed grin of anticipation that mirrored the deranged smirk on the scientist's face. Across from him, Toushiro stood ramrod straight, hands tightened in balled fists as his turquoise eyes reflected an icy anger that belied the overall fatigue that still weighed him down from the loss of his lieutenant and concern for his childhood friend's mental state.<p>

Kyouraku was torn between casting worried glances at the weary, younger captain beside him and at his old friend Ukitake, who had suffered another fit of painful coughs only a few days prior but who had been determined to attend the meeting nevertheless. Further down the line of captains, Byakuya was the epitome of apathy, his arms loose at his sides and his eyes closed in absolute tranquility. Yet his reiatsu was flickering ever so slightly, the scent of cherry blossoms overpowering all the other reiatsus aside from Toushiro's icy one, a clear indication that both were still greatly upset for the near loss of a precious person at the hands of a certain traitor despite their calm demeanors.

Komamura and Soifon also kept appearances of serenity however the former snarled softly under his breath, ears twitching with mild agitation while Soifon held the pose of a tiger on edge, her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits and her dominant hand resting on the handle of her beloved Suzumebachi, poised as if she were about to draw it. The soutaicho sensed the turbulent flickers of reiatsu in all the captains present and he had a distinct feeling that things were only going to get even stormier before they got better.

Slamming his staff into the ground, the cracking noise deafening in the already mostly silent room, he boomed out, "All captains present, the meeting shall now commence." His faithful lieutenant bowed once respectfully behind the soutaicho before pressing a switch, a large screen blinking to life and presenting a familiar man. Soifon barely managed to suppress a noise of disgust as Urahara Kisuke waved cheerily at them, a rather distinct contradiction to the tenseness in the first division and to the situation in general.

Ignoring the wave, the soutaicho spoke again, his tone slightly harder than usual. "Speak Urahara Kisuke. You claimed to have news about the traitor Aizen Sousuke." There was a greater fluctuation in the reiatsus present and even Urahara sobered more as he replied in a false, light voice, "Indeed I do. It has come to my attention that our delightful enemy has been having a rather... interesting time in Hueco Mundo and has apparently been doing some serious contemplating." Ukitake coughed weakly before interrupting softly, worriedly, "Are Inoue-chan and Kurosaki-kun alright?" There was a slight stir at the mentioned names but it settled quickly as Urahara answered honestly, "From what I can deduce, more or less. Their lives aren't in any immediate danger from what I picked up on and I doubt either one has been harmed. But I digress."

Something about him changed and for a moment, the man in the screen was not the goofy, cryptic shopkeeper whom they had become used to, but was instead the elusive and highly intelligent exiled twelfth division captain who had once been greatly admired and to some, greatly feared.

"Aizen wishes to form a peace agreement with Soul Society for reasons I cannot say due to both circumstances as well as my own doubts about their plausibility."

There was a moment of absolute silence, even the disturbed reiatsus had all but frozen in shock as Urahara's words sank in.

It was the calm before the storm of furious pandemonium.

"_Lies_!" Komamura roared in fury, eyes blazing and large hands clenching in anger. "Preposterous," Kurotsuchi sniffed in agreement, "He's clearly underestimating us if he believes we would fall for something like that." Toushiro's icy eyes were frozen into glaciers as he spat, "There's no way I'm going to believe anything that lying bastard claims! Urahara-san, you can't seriously think he's telling the truth!"

Urahara merely flapped his fan speculatively, silently indicating that he wanted the opinions of others. Soifon snorted, lips curling into a condescending sneer as she hissed, "You're actually considering his words aren't you? Was the first betrayal not enough for you Urahara Kisuke? Was your disgraceful exile at the hands of that man not enough to tell you there are some people who are better liars than you?"

If Urahara was offended or affected by her harsh words, he didn't show it.

Kyouraku played with the rim of his hat as he drawled lazily, "Don't be like that Soifon-taicho. Kisuke knows what kind of person Aizen is. He didn't say anything about believing him, he just told us something and wants us to form our own opinions and conclusions." Furious icy reiatsu swirled next to him as Toushiro said in disbelief, "You don't believe Aizen do you Kyouraku-taicho? Not after everything he's done and _lied_ about." Fury and muted pain were so very evident in the young captain's posture but considering the emotional stress and extra work he was burdened with, it was difficult to call him out on his outburst. Huffing out a sigh, the older shinigami shrugged and met Ukitake's gaze, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. Voice still weak but at least steady now, Ukitake murmured, "It is certainly a very questionable request coming from Aizen. It is… a bit hard to believe he would willingly throw godhood away after all the elaborate plans he devised in order to obtain it. However surely there must be a very valid reason as to why Kisuke even bothered to tell us about this."

"Or he's just lost his wits," Soifon muttered bitterly. Letting her comment slide, Urahara directed his attention to the captains who hadn't spoken. "Zaraki-taicho?" Zaraki just grinned again as he cackled out, "Does it matter? Even if he's lying, we'll just kick his ass. Like I would give a fuck about whether he wants to settle this peacefully for real or not." His reiatsu rolled out in powerful waves, whipping around with eagerness at the prospect of fighting and earning disapproving looks from several of the other captains.

"Spoken like a true barbarian~" Urahara sang cheerily and rather than be offended, Kenpachi just widened his grin. Returning it with a small smile of his own, Urahara then looked at Byakuya. "Kuchiki-taicho, your thoughts?" Byakuya didn't move or make any indication that he acknowledged the question in the other man's tone but when he finally spoke, his stoic gaze fixed on the screen in a cold glare, he said simply, "Aizen Sousuke has done much that cannot be forgiven. I find it unlikely that this time is any different."

"But if it is?"

The soft question brought everyone's attention to Unohana, who had been standing in demure silence up until that point. Hands clasped and resting in front of her neatly pressed captain robes and ever-present gentle smile in place, she looked entirely unperturbed despite everything that had been said. Her appearance instantly soothed some of the unease and anger in the room and her reiatsu washed over the others, agitated fluctuations melting away like warmed butter as her tranquility spread into them. Smile deepening a bit once she saw the tension had eased up, she spoke again. "Aizen is not a kind person, nor is he an honest one. His lies have hurt many both physically and emotionally and even I find many of his actions unforgivable. But…" her eyes turned a touch sadder though it was noticeable to only the keenest observer, "Regardless of what type of personality Aizen has, he is still just like us. Perhaps his values differ, perhaps his morals are trumped by his desires… whatever the case may be, I do not wish to place a limit on the capacity of his heart based on his betrayal alone."

Komamura hissed venomously, "That traitor has no heart Unohana-taicho surely you can see that! He nearly killed his own lieutenant, the one person who spent the most time at his side!" Toushiro's reiatsu flickered a bit at the mention of his childhood friend but he otherwise made no move to comment. Unohana cast him an apologetic glance before she shook her head and reprimanded gently, "Hinamori-fukutaicho's dedication to him did not mean he held the same feelings of fondness towards her. I am sure that when Ichimaru Gin passed away, he felt more than just a bit of grief. Who we presume to be close to another's heart may be a far cry from the truth. And it is not as if we are innocent of cruel actions towards innocent persons ourselves." The near execution of Rukia rang loudest in those words and as one who had done nothing to try to save her, Komamura looked thoroughly chastised.

"Is it our right to condemn a man for his ruthless and cruel actions when we are equally guilty of trying to slay our own in the name of our own justice?"

Her voice softened to just a murmur but her words floated throughout the entire room, heavy with sadness and a tint of regret. Resentment and anger still simmered, potent and deep within the carefully controlled reiatsus but they were subdued as the room fell into a contemplative silence. At last, Urahara said, "Forgiveness is, I'm sure, out of the question for many, myself included. But would it be so bad to try to end a war before any more lives are lost?"

There was still a great amount of hesitation exuding from the captains but Kyouraku showed some acceptance of it as he asked, "What are his conditions?" Ah, the second funnest question he would have the joys of answering and one he was still quite put off about himself. Urahara's grave expression morphed into mild aggravation since he was still puzzling over the terms. "They were… unexpected to say the least." There was a quiet murmur but it broke off instantly into silence the soutaicho demanded, "What did he say?"

A pause.

And then…

"Aizen said he is willing to disperse his entire army of hollows and that he will allow for most of his reiatsu to be bound by a reiatsu sealer for any length of time decided by Soul Society."

Few in number but heavy in terms of how much Aizen was willing to yield, the generosity of the terms was unsettling to say the least. Soifon narrowed her eyes in suspicion as she asked warily, "And what does he want in return?" Huffing out a small sigh, the scientist in Urahara shown through as he analyzed his own words even as he spoke them, as if hoping to extract some new clues from information he had already pondered over.

"In return, he wishes for Tousen Kaname to be pardoned and for Hueco Mundo to be left to its own devices as it was before Aizen took over it. Also, while he is willing to lose most of his reiatsu, he has no desire to have Kyoka Suigetsu taken from him which isn't too surprising in my opinion. He mostly wishes to keep his zanpakuto as a companion of sorts since it _has_ been his companion for several decades."

Though the thought of Aizen keeping the illusion sword was worrying, as shinigamis, they understood the deep attachment and powerful bond shared by master and sword. As much of a bastard as Aizen was, he still possessed that connection with his zanpakuto that all of them could relate to. However, it didn't mean they were quite so comfortable and willing to allow that particular term pass, understandable and relatable as the reasoning behind it was.

Urahara sighed quietly- the final term was definitely the strangest and most unexpected. It was difficult to say how the captains would react to the perplexing request since he himself still wasn't quite sure what to make of it. "And lastly, he will accept any punishment provided that ultimately, he is exiled from Soul Society and allowed to roam free in the Human World without any disturbances by shinigamis in a gigai. He wants to be able to live there disguised as a human and more or less, be left alone to his own devices that do not include plotting for further future world domination. If those terms are agreeable, then we can consider the war as good as over."

The silence this time was deafening. Shocked could not even begin to describe the pure befuddlement the shinigami captains were going through. Even the soutaicho had opened his eyes, aged and wise black orbs peering out from wrinkled and scarred skin as he regarded Urahara silently. "And you believe his words are not lies Urahara Kisuke?" Tilting his striped hat down, Urahara replied slowly, "As much as I hate to admit it, Aizen and I are more alike than is comfortable. But because of our similarities, I can say with relative surety that this is no illusion nor is it another lie. I think… I think Aizen found something that was worth far more value to him than even godhood. What that something is, I can't say for sure but what I do know is that this is something he truly wants. And judging by the terms he has offered, we have nothing to lose by accepting aside from a really powerful reiatsu sealer."

They were still not entirely convinced but Urahara could see sparks of thoughtfulness beneath the carefully blank facades of some of the captains. Ukitake and Kyouraku were exchanging silent words via several glances at each other, seeming to find some form of mutual agreement when they nodded briefly. Unohana, he knew, would always be willing to find a way around violence and her reasoning earlier hinted to him that she had probably never really viewed Aizen as a horrible enemy so much as a ruthlessly ambitious man who had lost his way in his quest to answer some inner calling or something like that. Byakuya was angry at Aizen for what he did to Rukia undoubtedly but Urahara knew that more than anyone else, the sixth division captain understood how warped one's personality could become if they didn't have anything they cherished and deemed more important than their own life. There might never be a day when Byakuya would look at Aizen without resentment but Urahara knew he would at least be able to endure his hatred.

The others were a bit more touchy or at least, stubborn when it came to grudges and he had absolutely no idea what was going on in the soutaicho's head regarding the situation but they were at least heading in the right direction. A part of him was still doubting Aizen's sincerity but another part, a greater part, saw the reluctant honesty the other man had struggled to express. It was different from the awkward friendliness Aizen had faked when he was Hirako Shinji's lieutenant- there was something more real, more believable about it than the plastic facade of kindness he tended to exhibit.

And his suspicions of why Aizen wanted to be left alone in the Human World told him that what was going on in Hueco Mundo was the main cause of Aizen's sudden change of heart. Perhaps Ichigo had been able to do the perceived impossible- with his infinite compassion and empathy, it wouldn't be too hard to believe that during the time Ichigo spent in captivity, he had wormed his way into the seemingly impenetrable heart of Aizen Sousuke. Aizen could fake kindness but there was no way he could put forth such profound affection at the mere mention of another's name unless his feelings were genuine.

He hoped with every fiber of his being that he wasn't wrong.

The soutaicho opened his mouth to speak once more, no doubt to allow the other captains to deliberate over their final decision, but he was interrupted.

A delicate white butterfly with veins of gossamer gold forming a thin border along the edges of its wings seemingly appeared through the closed doors of the first division, its entrance almost silent save for light airy brushes of wings in the air but it's presence was instantly noticed because on its right wing, it bore an elaborate insignia of twin blades forming an X behind an intricate golden crown.

It was a messenger hell butterfly from the royal court.

And that never bode well, especially not when things seemed to finally be progressing so smoothly.

Raising a wrinkled, calloused finger, the soutaicho allowed the butterfly to land gracefully before listening to the message. Where the silence before had been deafening, now it was purely suffocating. The King rarely sent out a message and the last known time he had, it had been to announce…

"A new Central 46 has been established. Any decisions concerning Soul Society are to be approved by it and are to be followed without exception as of now. Any violations of their decrees as well as any opposition will be met with grievous consequences. Furthermore, three new captains, approved by the new Central 46, are reporting to the current captains meeting and will act according to their respective positions as captains and shall be instated once the meeting has terminated. This message has been approved by the king and a written statement of its content with his signature shall be delivered shortly."

And that was it.

The stares of disbelief at the soutaicho as he relayed the message paled in comparison to the stir of nervousness as surreptitious glances were cast at Urahara who, though not actually present in the room or even Seiretei itself, was nevertheless communicating with them. Said man looked entirely unruffled but the sharpness in his eyes was back and his body had straightened ever so slightly. This, this had been completely unexpected and far too coincidental for his tastes. Something reeked about the situation but the butterfly was definitely real so the message had to be authentic. But the sudden appearance of a new Central 46 and new captains was far too bizarre. He couldn't put his finger on it but the timing of the butterfly was no mere coincidence.

Something had forcibly placed itself into the grand scheme of things and Urahara had a feeling that it was not going to be friendly in the least.

But he couldn't afford to think about that now even if his instincts were screaming that something foul had invaded their lives. He had to focus and deal with the situation at hand.

Flicking a quick, guilty look at the soutaicho, he murmured, "I shall bear full responsibility for any trouble my communicating with you may cause Yamamoto-soutaicho. I-" But the old shinigami raised a wrinkled hand, cutting off whatever else Urahara was about to say, eyes once again closed though he had a distinct feeling that beneath the large white mustache the soutaicho sported, there was a small smile. It was hard to say when he hid how emotions so well.

"You have provided plenty of assistance to our cause regardless of your exiled status Urahara Kisuke. It was my decision to continue maintaining contact with you from thereon afterwards. You have nothing to be guilty of." Urahara blinked but then smiled and murmured his gratitude, hiding the wave of relief and elation spurred by the soutaicho's words behind his fan.

That was as close to an apology and acquittal of his past as he was going to get and the fact that the ancient shinigami had been the one to give it was rather touching considering pride was one of the chief vices in any shinigami, particularly those who were in power for as long as the ancient shinigami. It was... quite reassuring to know that despite his rocky relationship with Soul Society, he could count most of the shinigamis there as allies which would be key for him to get a better grapple of the situation. He was about to speak again but the sound of wooden creaking cut off whatever he was about to say, allowing for someone else to address the shinigamis present.

"Oh my, we're not interrupting anything are we?"

The overly cheerful and largely unapologetic voice drew attention to the large, arching doorway where three figures stood each with the familiar white haori billowing out behind them as they strode in without bothering to wait to be invited.

The one who had spoken bowed though again, it seemed insincere, before he stood upright and grinned. "Sagi Hiroshi, new captain of the ninth division at your service~" Shoulder-length black hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, a few strands draping in front of silvery green eyes that were bright with mischievousness. High cheekbones, elegantly narrow face, and a well toned body standing at a height a little bigger than six feet made the relatively young captain very appealing to the eyes though his handsome looks did not quite match his slightly childish behavior. He was very energetic, not seeming to be able to stand still for long, and Urahara felt an inexplicable sense of dislike towards him though it was hard to say why. The man was no Aizen, seeming to be more like Ichimaru Gin, but something about him rubbed Urahara the wrong way and out of all three, he found himself most wary of the new ninth division captain.

Sagi seemed oblivious to the suspicious looks of the other captains as he gestured to the somber-looking man beside him on his right and brightly introduced him. "This here is Asco Shiyama and he's going to be the new captain for the fifth division." When the man he gestured to did nothing except blink once, he nudged him and said with a light laugh, "Come on Asco-taicho, try to look a bit more happy~ We're meeting everyone so turn that frown upside down!" This man was the complete opposite of his exuberant colleague. Messy blond hair with a side part in the front, cold blue eyes, and a rather short height of five feet and four inches not to mention a prominent frown firmly implanted on his lips made him stand out almost as much as Sagi if only because they contrasted each other so perfectly.

But the woman to the left of Sagi was perhaps even more unfriendly looking than the new fifth division captain. Long blue hair rippled down her back in sleek curling waves, her bangs parted in the middle of her forehead and curling around her delicate face, framing narrow, harsh, black eyes. Her thin body was curvy in a subtle way much like Rukia's and she shared the same elegant gentility however she lacked any of the expressive charm and amiability Rukia exhibited. There was no kindness reflected in her dead eyes, only a harsh glint that made her look perpetually displeased. "This little lady over here is Nigami Aya. Don't mind her grumpy look, she's usually about as cheerful as a rock~"

Ignoring their fellow captain, Asco looked with disdain at the screen and asked curtly, "Why are you communicating with an exiled shinigami Yamamoto-soutaicho?" There was mild discontentment at the rather brusque manner of speaking he had used toward one who was, by status and power, superior but the old shinigami commander merely answered calmly, "Urahara Kisuke has been very cooperative in providing for shinigamis stationed in the Human World. He has been an active supporter in our conflicts with any and all enemies and has proven his worth time and again. It would be foolish to not utilize one who was a former captain simply because of a misunderstanding in the past."

The rebuke was subtle but Asco looked sufficiently chastised as he glared at the floor in response. Nigami scoffed and flicked some loose blue locks over her shoulder before fixing apathetic coal eyes on the other captains. "So? I assume that if you are speaking to the exiled shinigami now, that means he had something of importance to say." Again, the blatant disrespect earned a couple glares but then Urahara said lightly, "Come now, let's try to play nice everyone." Focusing on the new captains, he smiled disarmingly and continued amiably, "We were discussing a matter concerning the approaching war with Aizen."

Sagi blinked and folded his arms as he walked over and stepped into his position among the other captains, frowning slightly as he asked, "You're discussing battle tactics?" Again, there was a fleeting moment of distaste that Urahara couldn't really explain despite the more amicable way Sagi talked and he involuntarily hesitated to reply. Luckily, Kyouraku stepped in, glancing at the other captain from beneath his hat as he said, "Nope. Apparently Aizen wants to end the war in a way that we weren't anticipating." In control of his thoughts once more, Urahara briefly explained the situation and by the end, it was hard to say what the new captains were thinking, their expressions more or less the same as when they had entered. Nigami spoke first, tone hard and calculating as she said, "While it does sound beneficial for Soul Society as a whole, does that not make the traitor's terms all the more suspicious? I would think the logical conclusion would be that this is all a trap."

Smiling wanly at her, Ukitake said hoarsely, "Be that as it may, Kis- erm, Urahara Kisuke seems relatively certain that he's telling the truth. And considering he's one of the few people capable of matching wits with someone of Aizen's caliber, we are reluctant to dismiss this right away." Asco reluctantly looked back towards the screen, seeming to find the mere sight of an exiled shinigami insulting, as he asked somewhat sullenly, "And? Why are you so inclined to believe the traitor? From what we can tell, he made a pretty ugly mess when he left." It wasn't so much of a jab at the disorderly, brief chaos Soul Society suffered as it tried to mend what the betrayals had done as it was more so asked out of simple curiosity which was an improvement from the open hostility he had showed earlier.

Urahara sighed quietly under his breath- he knew that if he used his previous responses, the new captains would not be as lenient about trusting his judgments. They were definitely competent people, he could see it in the refined control of their reiatsus and in the dignified way they carried themselves, but they were dogs freshly released by the new Central 46 and intuition told him that it was no better than its predecessor. The new captains were probably trained to make judgments that adhered to the so-called justice of the courtly old farts and he knew that their being here infinitely complicated everything even more. But he would try, try to make these people see reason and try to make them understand what the rest of the captains, some on a more subconscious instinctive level, understood: that the situation was no longer what it had been when Aizen left, that something had happened that could possibly let them end the foreboding war without losing another life.

"I'm quite sure many of you were able to deduce this based on the conversation so far but I had a small confrontation with Aizen while I was in the Human World. He wanted my help."

The large room they were in seemed to shrink a little as tensions soared to new levels. For the original captains, it wasn't that they didn't trust Urahara, it was more so the thought that Aizen had been able to waltz into the Human World completely undetected and would have been able to greatly weaken their attack power had he been there to kill the shopkeeper that made them shift uncomfortably. Sagi grinned a touch uneasily as he said in an attempted joking manner, "Ain't that fraternizing with the enemy?" Urahara hummed in disagreement, his guard up once more as he replied easily, "It was under neutral terms. I'm sure you Sagi-taicho as well Asco-taicho and Nigami-taicho can see that I am no fake since none of you have been exposed to Aizen's shikai. Aizen said he wanted to talk so I met with him. Even if it had been a trap, the only one who would have been in danger would be me."

He accepted a cup of steaming tea from someone -Tessai no doubt- before taking a delicate sip and continuing, "Regardless, we met and he talked. He essentially told me all the things about his terms for the end of the war that I relayed to everyone present here. As for why I decided to even bother mentioning his proposal..." He thought carefully about how to phrase his words before saying slowly, "He was different. I'm not quite sure how to phrase this however Aizen seemed more... open? He was definitely uncomfortable to a degree when we talked but he never took back any of the things he said."

Kurotsuchi sniffed disdainfully, "Surely he said something else to make his words worth our time to listen to." Mentally cursing since he had been trying to avoid saying anymore, Urahara knew he would be walking a rather delicate line with his next words if he wasn't extremely cautious.

Depending on how he worded things, he could either make the situation stay stable or send everything rolling downhill.

"Aizen is... backing out of the war on the behalf of someone else. And that someone holds many people from Soul Society dear to him and would never let anything bad happen to them. I'm not exactly sure what the circumstances are surrounding him and Aizen but I think we can trust them to keep Aizen from breaking his deal."

There was another unnerving silence as attention was subtly placed on the new captains, trying to gauge their reactions. Urahara hadn't said any names but the original captains knew who he was talking about and understood why he hadn't said any names. It was a precarious situation and it could place a certain substitute shinigami in one dangerous position if things didn't go right.

Surprisingly, it was Nigami who spoke first, arms crossing over her chest as she murmured, "Interesting. So we're placing our trust in a nameless person's hands who may or may not have enchanted a powerful enemy." Uneasiness filled the air again but she didn't seem to notice as instead, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and stated bluntly, "Alright." As fast as it had begun to rise, the unease dispersed and morphed into hesitant confusion. Clicking her tongue in irritation since she did see the appraising looks sent her way, she explained, "Even if it's a trap, there will be three of us who will be able to fight the traitor while the rest can handle his espada. But we're not war-happy fools, we also want this ridiculous farce of a war to end with as few casualties as possible."

Asco nodded, his expression still sullen but cold blue pools swirling with calm intelligence as he said, "Nigami-taicho's right. We may not know what the situation is but it looks like most of you seem to have a better grasp of what's going on than us. You've had more experience dealing with Aizen, you have a better chance at sniffing out his lies or in this case, his truths, than us." Sagi grinned cheerfully as he raised a finger and waved it in mock admonishment. "Just because we were approved by those old stiffs in Central 46 doesn't mean we have sticks up our butts y'know~ We're reasonable people too. And reason tells us that if we can let this war go poof without having to do any overtime work for it, then of course we'd agree." The last part was a joke but his intentions had been conveyed- he also would support any agreement of Aizen's terms if that was the ultimate decision.

So prepared to have to argue, Urahara was momentarily caught off guard, a feeling he didn't really like but was glad that things were back to running semi-smoothly. He had been so concerned by the fact that these people were associated with Central 46 that he had prematurely assumed that they would be thick-headed, prideful idiots and had denounced the prospect that they may actually be somewhat more agreeable than the old coots. He still had some feelings of dislike towards Sagi but if the man was willing to lend his support, then he couldn't really complain.

It was clear that the majority favored going through with the peace agreement. All that was left was to present the idea to the new Central 46 and hope that if most of the Gotei 13 captains thought it was a good idea and beneficial to follow through, then they court would be more amendable to letting it pass.

They were so close to just ending things.

It almost felt too good to be true.

* * *

><p>AN: Ugh, I didn't really like this chapter. It was a bit dull and there was a lot packed into it. I was actually going to put more in but I figured I would put the rest into the next chapter. The OCs are important so try to remember them ^^ I tried making them have unlikable attitudes but still be semi-likable characters which was hard. They're not mary-sues so don't worry about them going pow-wow with godly powers or anything. Would love to hear opinions about them since I tried to make them both likable and unlikable at the same time X3

Anyway, I keep forgetting to add this at the end of my chapters because I'm so flighty but... thank you for all your wonderful reviews and support! Your predictions let me know that I'm managing to keep things vague enough to have you guessing without leaving you going "wtf just happened?" And your encouragements have helped me keep focus on this story though plot bunnies for others are bouncing wildly around in my head. Thank you and love you all~

* * *

><p>And of course, Deleted Scenes Time!<p>

_Practice Makes Perfect_

There was a quiet murmur but it broke off instantly into silence the soutaicho demanded, "What did he say?"

A pause.

And then…

More silence. It stretched from a couple seconds to a minute.

Yamamoto furrowed his brows in mild confusion before asking once more, "What did he say Urahara Kisuke?"

Another awkward silence. Then, with a dramatic swish of his fan, Urahara proudly declared, "I forgot!"

He barely dodged the series of zanpakutos thrown at his head and just made an annoying, "Ufu~" noise as a thunderous chorus of "YOU IMBECILE!" rang throughout the set while off stage, Rukia cracked her knuckles ominously and Gin just howled with laughter.

Idiots. She was directing idiots.

_Tea and Medicine_

He accepted a cup of steaming tea from someone -Tessai no doubt- before taking a delicate sip and continuing, "Regardless, we met and he- Ugyah!" The peculiar noise made everyone look at Urahara in confusion as the man took on an extraordinary blue skin color that put Kurotsuchi's make-up to shame before he was sprinting out from behind the fake screen and dashing madly towards the nearest bathroom.

When accusing looks were directed at Tessai who shuffled out from behind the screen as well, he bowed his head sheepishly and said apologetically, "The boss said he was feeling a bit queasy earlier so I wanted to help..."

Collective sighs ensued as Rukia called for a long, long break.

If Urahara hadn't been feeling well before, then she highly doubted he was going to come out of the bathroom anytime soon after downing a sip of Tessai's medicine of doom.

Renji was still in there after all and he'd taken the medicine three hours earlier.


	24. Passionate Moment: Love Left Unspoken

A/N: Wow epic fail. Thank you to emo1sk8r for pointing out my mistake, I completely forgot about that part. I thought something seemed off when I was editing it. If there are other things people notice that sound off about anything in the story, please point them out. Thank you~

* * *

><p><em>It had started as a simple talk, calm voices and individual speakers. However it rapidly became something more chaotic as angry words lashed out and received equally biting retorts. The chaos was of a more muted scale, simmering with a turbulence that was reflected in frustrated eyes and sharp gestures but tones of voices never raised above tight, vehement statements even as tensions soared to all new levels when the Central 46 went on the attack. High, nasally voices spat out accusations that were absolutely ludicrous but no matter what anyone else said or how they countered their blasphemy, the Central 46 members refused to see reason.<em>

_Aizen Sousuke wanted peace because of another person's goodwill?_

_Then that person had clearly been fraternizing with the enemy._

_And anyone who fraternized with an enemy regardless of the current situation was a traitor as well._

_Was it Urahara Kisuke who had accepted the terms first and delivered it to Soul Society? Or was it the human girl, her innocent heart twisted and corrupted by her 'kidnapping' that seemed more and more like she had gone to Hueco Mundo of her own free will? Or better yet, was it the substitute shinigami, whose power was ever-growing and whose allegiances lay beyond the Central 46's claws?_

_Or was this all just another elaborate setup by a cunning, evil traitor who had managed to deceive them yet again?_

_Zaraki was forced to leave after outright laughing at the sheer preposterousness behind those accusations. Kyouraku was subtly threatened after several attempts of reasoning and when even that was not enough, the veiled threats were directed at his division, promising none-too-gentle interrogations of his subordinates of possible rebellion if he did not cease his incessant chatter. Ukitake was sent out for 'medical purposes' when he released a single, small cough after voicing his opinions, Unohana forced to go with him since an esteemed captain such as the sickly man should have only the best care._

_Never mind that Unohana had been cutting down each and every one of their arguments with a terrifyingly harmless skill of logic and tranquility._

_Sagi, Nigami, and Asco had their capabilities as newly appointed captains questioned and were forced to hold their tongue or risk losing the positions they were clearly worthy of._

_The rest of the captains, disgust and disappointment thinly veiled behind facades of forced calmness, recognized the rest of the meeting as what it was: a losing battle._

_The soutaicho tried, his ancient voice emphasizing the benefits of at least pretending to go along with the peace agreement, but the steely, cold eyes of the figures seated in their thrones of judgment high above the people who could easily cut them down without even going into shikai reflected their unyielding stance on the matter._

_There would be no justice until there was war._

_There would be no peace until blood was spilled._

_There would be no end to the Winter War until someone was dead._

* * *

><p>In the Human World, far enough away from the battle of wills occurring in Seiretei to be unaffected by the lashing words being exchanged but close enough to almost feel a foreboding sense of doom emanating from the portal set up in the basement, three figures sat around a table. Dark, smooth skin stretched over corded muscle shifted as a woman's voice, deep and sultry, said flatly, "This ain't gonna work Kisuke."<p>

A quiet sigh.

"I know."

Narrowed golden eye flicked to him as sharp nails, just like a cat's, tapped on the wooden surface of his coffee table. "But maybe since the kiddo isn't part of Soul Society, the punishment won't be too bad if he and Aizen accept the accusations…"

The third person laughed a bitter, harsh sound as piano-like teeth formed a malicious and humorless grin.

"Ya really think so Yoruichi? Ya really think they would let two potential and unpredictable threats, regardless of how restricted they'd be, wander around in the Human World and go, 'Aw look how happy they are~' and then continue being the bunch o' old bastards that they are in Soul Society?" The tip of a fan lightly hit his head before Urahara chided lightly, "Being sour towards Central 46 won't do anything so don't be so snarky Shinji." Then, looking at Yoruichi, he added, "I relayed the situation to Aizen and he said that even if Kurosaki-kun managed to somehow avoid severe punishment, Inoue-san won't be so lucky. If Ichigo's fraternization with the enemy was vague, hers is so obvious, those old coots will sink their fangs into her so fast she won't even have time to be surprised and then Kurosaki-kun will do something foolishly brave to try to save her that _will_ sentence him to something unpleasant."

Tea cups sat between them, their contents long since grown cold as they were forgotten. Long, elegant purple hair fluttered as Yoruichi threw her head back and stared up at the ceiling with sensual lips pressed together in an unhappy frown. "Aizen knows how this is gonna end doesn't he?"

Shinji snorted and muttered bitterly, "He had it comin' the sneaky bastard." There wasn't as much malice and heat in his words as there used to be when they had first fled to the Human World so many years ago. Now, there was just mild resentment that persisted in bearing a grudge towards his former lieutenant. Shinji hadn't forgotten what Aizen had done to him and the other vaizards, that much was evident from the way he spoke about the other man. But he was, and always would be, on the side of the young vaizard who had earned quite a bit of his affection and loyalty and if Ichigo saw something redeemable in the traitor that he had missed, then he was willing to push aside his grudges if it meant he could avoid forcing the younger vaizard to choose between people he cared about.

That didn't mean he liked his bastard of a former lieutenant or that he had to be nice when speaking about him.

But Yoruichi's next words hit the subject that worried all of them the most.

"True but this time, he's not the only one whose gonna suffer some nasty consequences."

The vaizard scowled, having heard the situation and Urahara's speculation, he understood the implications. Aizen may not come out of this unscathed but then that meant Ichigo would be caught in the crossfire between the man he might have become close to and the shinigamis he was friends with. And the end result was not going to be pretty.

Damn Soul Society for not growing some balls and just killing off the new Central 46. The self-important assholes were the reason why everything was going down the toilet so fast. None of them were under any illusion that the Central 46 now would be any better than its predecessor. Those bastards always had been and always would be incapable of thinking beyond their own self-preservation. It was like the standard requirement in order to become a member. Not a single one of them actually had a true ensue of moral justice and yet they were still the ones who passed judgment onto others.

Ha. What a bad joke.

Urahara snapped his fan shut with a definitive click, cutting through any other negative thoughts about the current bane of their existences as with somber eyes, he murmured, "Hopeful as he was when he approached me, I think Aizen is fully aware of what's going to happen now that Central 46 has entered the stage. And I'm afraid he will do whatever it takes to protect Kurosaki-kun from it even if in the end, the costs far outweigh the benefits… or someone ends up enduring unbearable pain."

He met Yoruichi's piercing gaze and Shinji's unusually grave one and smiled humorlessly.

"That is what cowards like he and I do best after all."

* * *

><p>Ichigo's fingers danced over the smooth curve of the ring dangling around his neck, his honey brown orbs staring at the flickering trace of white reiatsu inside the gem adorning it absently as he sat on Aizen- no, Sousuke's ridiculously comfy couch. Leg's curled up against his chest, bare feet digging into plush cushion, he wondered what was going on in Sousuke's mind.<p>

The man had called him to his room and had greeted him with a chaste kiss on the lips that left him both thoroughly embarrassed and yearning for more, before he had strided out of the room, saying something about needing to discuss some business with his espada.

The flurry of actions before being suddenly alone had been surprising but as he relaxed in Sousuke's quarters, he realized he actually appreciated the given time for some inner thinking.

Anticipation was bubbling in his chest like hot lava as the thought of the winter war ending before it really began became more than just a hopeful dream. Soul Society had some ridiculously proud shinigamis leading it but he knew that most if not all of them were uneasy about fighting against someone whose forces would lead to some devastating losses on their side. If the chance to avoid such a costly situation were to crop up, he knew more than just a couple captains would seriously consider taking it even if they were extremely wary and uncertain about trusting Sousuke once more.

Because beyond those stuffy and haughty exteriors, there were kind people who carried the lives of their subordinates close to them and furious as they were towards Sousuke's betrayal, they would never want to willingly lose more lives to him.

That was his impression of the Gotei 13 captains.

That was what he knew about the nakama he had made in Soul Society.

That was how much he trusted them.

And so this brought him to his next uncertainty: his feelings.

Tightly clenching his ring without really noticing, Ichigo knew his emotions towards Sousuke were not just simple attraction combined with a romantic liking. It was something deeper, straddling that border between like and love and tipping dangerously closer towards love.

He couldn't say that it was completely at that stage but the more time he spent with the stupidly handsome man, the more he fell hopelessly for him.

He had told these thoughts to Starrk earlier, the one person he trusted to help him out since Grimmjow and the two young female arrangers were completely out of the question and the last time he'd tried visiting Orihime, he had stumbled upon a scene he was still trying to burn out of his mind without passing out from sheer embarrassment.

The sleepy primera had regarded him silently with those calm, intelligent slate-colored eyes from his laid out position on the ground before grunting out tiredly, "Well if you love him-" Ichigo had quickly interjected with a sharp, "Sort of love! It's not- not completely there yet." An exaggerated sigh of exasperation had followed his exclamation and had earned Starrk a light punch to his shoulder before the espada had continued slowly, "Fine, if you sort of love him, why not just say so? I'm pretty sure the feelings are more than mutual."

He had nearly clawed his face out from the red blush that lit up his entire face.

"Did you have to say it like that? That was just- argh! There's something called tact you know," he had muttered sullenly as he tried to return his face to a normal color. Starrk had only smirked slightly in amusement before running a hand through his wavy brown hair that was so similar in color to Sousuke's and yet quite different in length as he mumbled, "I take it that means just leaping into each other's arms and declaring your undying love for each other is out of the question?"

How the primera had known about that cliche shit romantic novels spouted about, he would never know.

Huffing out a frustrated sigh, Ichigo had shaken his head negatively and the espada had laid there for a couple minutes silently, all relaxed and alert at the same time, before speaking once more.

"You could always show it."

Ichigo had barely managed to avoid choking as he met the serious but clearly amused expression on the other's face. "By show it, do you mean… doing... what Orihime… and Ulquiorra… do when they're… gah!"

A warm, deep chuckle had rumbled out of Starrk before he had replied lightly to the burning red-faced shinigami, "I think that's all you have left to give isn't it? Kisses and hugs can only convey so much you know. And as good as he is at hiding it, I think it's something Aizen-sama's wanted for quite some time now."

Wow, Starrk was almost always asleep whenever Sousuke was around and he had still seen something that had completely escaped his notice. Well not completely but enough for Ichigo to not feel like his virginity was in danger every time Sousuke looked at him.

Idly playing with the primera's satiny black sash, Ichigo had given some serious thought to the suggestion.

...

He was still thinking about it now only instead of Starrk's sash, he was playing with his ring.

What a wonderful improvement.

Shutting up that snarky, sarcastic vice which had sounded suspiciously like Shiro, Ichigo rolled the ring between his fingers as he chewed over his thoughts, teeth mauling his lower lip as he bit at it with his teeth and struggled to come to terms with things.

On one hand, he was shit with words and knowing himself, he would say something really stupid that wouldn't convey what he wanted or he would just freeze up on the spot and then flee. Yeah, words were not his forte and thus, were out of the question. On the other hand though, the mere thought of… of doing anything sexual was just… kisses and stuff were one thing but to go all the way…

But Sousuke was going to give up the only goal he had driving him for so long… it just felt wrong to not give him something in return. And yet, he didn't want the man to think he was giving his virginity away out of some sense of duty to repay him. No, he had to make sure this was something he actually wanted or he would just end up hurting both Sousuke and himself and that would just be the highlight of his acts of impulsive stupidity.

Taking a deep breath, he stared around the empty room. Definitely a good thing Sousuke had left. The former megalomaniac would have been giving him odd looks by now considering all the funny expressions he must have been making in the past few minutes as his conversation with Starrk persisted in haunting his mind.

Did he want this?

Could he have sex with a man he may or may not be in love with and not regret it afterwards?

Tender dark brown eyes that were usually so guarded and blank entered his thoughts and his fingers moved to his lips as he remembered that kiss he had for once returned. He could still taste tea and something sharp like mint. He could still feel strong, warm arms wrapped around his body. He could still smell Sousuke's expensive and bitter scent, like some rare dark chocolate that suited the wary and closed-hearted man. He could still hear murmured words of gratitude that were so painfully honest even though he had done nothing to garner such feelings. But most of all, he could still see Sousuke; proud and humble, weak and strong, cold and warm, cruel and kind, and so many other contradictions that added to his illusory and enigmatic self.

And Ichigo would have it no other way.

Whatever he might have felt about Sousuke's personality when he barely knew him so long ago didn't matter now. All he knew was that his heart had come to accept who Sousuke was and come what may, that would not change.

The door to the room abruptly opened and Ichigo looked up to see Sousuke walk in, something heavy seeming to weigh down on his mind if his slightly creased forehead was anything to go by. Own worries instantly vanishing, Ichigo slowly rose, body partially off the couch, as he asked softly, "Sousuke? You okay?"

Some of the tension seemed to ease away from him as Sousuke shook his head and walked closer. "It's nothing Ichigo. It's just…" That closed expression appeared in his eyes again and Ichigo hated it. But as soon as it appeared, it was gone again and warm, brown eyes met his gaze in that slightly uncomfortable but open way once more. "Nevermind. It's nothing to concern yourself with."

Not quite rid of the feeling that something was off, Ichigo shrugged before fully getting up and meeting his sort of lover in the middle of the room. Strangely enough, it felt natural to lean up and give a quick peck to lips he had become quite accustomed -and addicted- to and it felt somewhat satisfying to see the normally reserved man look surprised even if he himself was a little caught off guard by his sudden boldness.

Lips twitching into a small smile, Sousuke cupped his cheek and murmured, "Well that was a pleasant surprise. Did something happen that made you lose your shyness?" Scowling up at the clearly amused older shinigami, Ichigo huffed before crossing his arms sullenly though his act of irritation was rather ruined when he made no move to push Sousuke's hand away.

Chuckling, Sousuke stepped closer and wrapped his arms around his moody source of affection and inwardly smiled at how quickly Ichigo molded his body so that his hands were now clutching his robes and his head was perfectly situated beneath his chin.

Ichigo really couldn't stay mad at people he liked for long and it annoyed the orange-haired teen to some degree though even that irritation was short-lived.

He was such a softie.

And Shiro really needed to stop invading his thoughts.

Sighing into the hug which seemed like such a natural action now, Ichigo wondered how things were going with Soul Society and if Sousuke's disgruntlement had been caused by interactions with the shinigamis. But if that was the case, he was sure that Sousuke would have told him so he decided not to ask.

Instead, he leaned into familiar silk robes and felt the steady rise and fall of Sousuke's chest and wondered again if he was ready to take things to the final level.

A nervous, prudish side of him adamantly said no, that he should wait things out until he knew for sure what his feelings really were.

But a louder, more instinctive and emotional side of him was shouting that time was so terribly finite and that if he kept waiting, he would only come to regret the things he knew he could have done but never had the guts to do.

He felt a rumble beneath the layers of cloth Sousuke was wearing as his deep, rich voice asked lightly, "Something on your mind Ichigo? I can almost feel your concentration and that's quite an impressive feat considering your reiatsu is still sealed."

Oh yeah, now that he thought about it, he still had that damn collar on didn't he? But just thinking about dealing with a huge influx of reiatsu as his power returned made him exhausted and if he really wanted to go through with his idea, he couldn't afford to worry about it for now. Maybe afterwards when he would be able to just sleep off the sensations he would have Sousuke take it off.

"I'm still mad at you about that but since it's too much of a pain in my ass to take it off right now, I'll forgive you."

He could feel Sousuke's smile as the sly but lovable bastard pressed a kiss to his head. So that's where Gin -it was slightly easier to think about him now- got his strange charisma. Sneaky bastards the lot of them. Funny how that thought came out as more affectionate than resentful.

Sighing, Ichigo pulled himself together as much as possible before saying hesitantly, "Sousuke, I… There's something I want to give you." He heard a rustle of fabric before Sousuke's body detached itself from him and he now found himself looking at a handsome, curious face that almost made him flee right then and there though he somehow managed to force himself to stay still.

No, he was _not_ going to chicken out now dammit! Not when he had managed to gather up this much courage.

Licking his lips nervously and missing the flash of lust in Sousuke's eyes that vanished almost instantly, Ichigo twisted the fabric of his sleeves as he stumbled over his words. "I'm not- I'm really bad with words and… I don't really know how I would say things anyway… so I wanted to… to show you… since Starrk said… that you've wanted to… you know… for a while, you've… wanted that... I-I mean you know..." He should get an award for how lame he sounded right now. But this was so embarrassing. So with face practically on fire and nearly ripping his sleeves which were quite wrinkled now, he said in a single rushed breath, "Iwanttohavesexwithyou!"

If Sousuke was confused by his stammered words before, he now seemed to understand what he had been trying to get at.

Reaching out to touch his shoulder but then retracting it, an uncharacteristic gesture of uncertainty from him, Sousuke murmured gently, "Ichigo… I appreciate your attempt to please me but if you're not ready-"

But he shook his head so vehemently that combined with the blood still coloring his face it made him dizzy as he shouted, "No! I mean…" His voice dropping as he reclaimed control of his frayed nerves, Ichigo forced himself to look at Sousuke's concerned and oddly conflicted gaze as he said more calmly, "This isn't just me trying to thank you or… or trying to meet up to your desires. This is something _I_ want and the fact that you want it too just makes things a hell of a lot easier."

Much to his own surprise, once those words came out of his mouth, he knew they were true. Why the hell he had been so unsure about it before, he didn't know but right now, they never sounded more right. He did want to move forward with Sousuke. And he knew that with this, he would be able to allow himself to completely fall in love with him.

In order to be in love with someone, one had to be prepared to give everything away and Ichigo wanted to know what it was like, wanted to feel that beautiful feeling of loving another unconditionally that Orihime had once babbled to him about. He wanted to know what his father and mother had shared, what Gin and Rangiku had shared, what so many others had shared.

It was frightening thinking about loving someone so intensely.

But he was ready.

Sousuke still looked somewhat hesitant and Ichigo saw that peculiar conflicted look in his eyes again and wondered if he still hadn't been convincing enough. But slowly, the look melted away and Ichigo suddenly found himself in another hug, this one much more tighter than before, as if the older man was worried that if he let go, he would disappear. "Sousuke?" He couldn't see his face so it was harder than usual trying to figure out what he was thinking but eventually Sousuke murmured into his ear, "If you tell me to stop, I may not be able to."

Face heating up again, Ichigo scowled but replied readily, "That means if I say don't stop, you sure as hell better not."

Lips were suddenly on his, harsh and passionate, and he quickly opened his mouth to allow Sousuke's warm tongue to dance with his as as fingers tangled into hair and bodies were pressed flush against each other. Kissing was nothing new to either of them at this point but this, this was so much more fierce than before and far more aggressive. If Ichigo had thought Sousuke was a good kisser before, now he was like the very definition of a kiss. A hand slid from his back lower until it curved around the firm shape of his ass, a light squeeze sending a shiver down his spine at the silent promises Sousuke was making as the man began carefully guiding them in the direction of what he assumed was his bedroom.

He barely registered his back hitting the soft surface of a bed since when Sousuke pulled back to let them both breathe in blissful air, he began trailing kisses down his neck, paying more attention to areas that he reacted more sensitively to and sending a hazy cloud of pleasure over his senses. Tangling his fingers in brown wavy locks again, Ichigo let out a shuddering breath as his robe was tugged open, allowing Sousuke to explore his smooth, tanned chest. He gently trailed his fingers over the various scars decorating Ichigo's torso and he paused when he reached the one that he himself had inflicted. He placed an apologetic kiss there and Ichigo huffed a small sigh before breathily mumbling, "It's fine Sousuke." And it was- he'd been stabbed by lots of people and was still friends with them. The only difference with Sousuke was that he was now willingly allowing Sousuke to attack him, if in a more sexually metaphorical sense.

Chuckling, the brunette continued to map out his entire torso, reducing Ichigo to a hot mess of small moans every time he found another sensitive spot. He let out an unarticulate cry when tongue and teeth began playing with one of his caramel-colored nubs, hand instantly flying to cover his mouth to prevent any more embarrassing noises from coming out.

A larger hand gripped his wrist and pulled his obstructive appendage away as Sousuke paused in his ministrations and hovered above him, eyes dancing with lust and amusement, brown locks coming loose from their swept back state and dangling over his face in a fuck-I'm-sexy sort of way as he commanded in a sinfully seductive voice, "Don't." And Ichigo found himself obeying, using his hands to instead, begin to fumble shakily with Sousuke's clothes in an attempt to distract himself.

And he was most definitely distracted once a muscled chest with an expanse of smooth, unmarred skin so different from his own was revealed. Reveling at how perfect Sousuke's body was, he let his hands glide over strong muscles that were neither excessively large nor coiled and lean like his own. Sousuke would have been one very successful model had he been alive in the human world with this sort of killer body.

Lust riding over his prudish senses, Ichigo tugged Sousuke closer before experimentally licking and then letting his mouth nibble on the skin joining the man's neck and shoulder, immediately becoming addicted to the musky taste that graced his tongue and grinning mischievously when he heard in almost inaudible groan. His victory was short-lived when he almost accidentally bit Sousuke when hips ground against his in a slow, sensual movement that created a sinfully delicious friction that had him moaning for more.

He was being burned alive by the sheer pleasure he was experiencing and they had only barely gotten started.

Seeming to sense his impatience, Sousuke slipped his hand into his pants and Ichigo nearly squeaked when warmth suddenly enveloped his length, instantly sending sparks of blinding pleasure throughout his entire being. "W-wai- ah! S-Sousuke-" He writhed in Sousuke's skilled palm as the man coaxed him slowly to a climax he didn't know was possible with just touching his throbbing hard on. The calloused hand moved slowly at first but quickly picked up speed and then that sinfully skills hand squeezed at just the right times and it wasn't long before he released his essence with a soft cry that he nearly choked over as he struggled to stifle it, hearing his heart thudding loudly in his eardrums as he breathed in large gulps of air.

Holy shit, that was way more intense than he had ever expected receiving a hand job to be.

As he struggled to come down from his high, he barely registered Sousuke easily pulling off the remainder of his clothes while letting his teeth graze and nip at his neck which he stretched out to allow the older man better access to it. When Sousuke pulled away again, Ichigo let out a small whine that brought an amused smile to his face. Reaching over to a stand near the bed, he pulled out a bottle and said in a semi-breathless voice that made Ichigo's heart flutter knowing he was the cause of his state, "Unless your fond of pain, I assure you that you will want this." Gulping at the implications since he wasn't that much of a virgin to not know what Sousuke was holding, Ichigo tried keeping his mind off of Sousuke's fingers as he applied a generous amount of lubrication to them by exploring Sousuke's body again, enjoying the feel of his abs and pectorals as he slid his curious hands across them. While it was a good distraction from seeing anything, he did still feel the slick finger prodding at his entrance before carefully sliding through the tight ring of muscle.

Breath hitching, Ichigo forced himself to relax, finding the feeling of a finger inside him only mildly uncomfortable and very foreign but nothing he couldn't handle.

Sousuke wouldn't hurt him. He was as sure of that as he was that the sky was blue.

And when that finger nudged something deep inside him that made white spots dance in his eyes as he let out an embarrassing moan that sounded erotic even to his ears, he hardly noticed a second finger slide into him. All he could focus on was getting that spot hit again.

"Sou… suke… H-hurry!"

Warm breath hit his ear, making him shudder slightly and squirm frustratedly as Sousuke murmured huskily into his ear, "Impatient are we?" as he scissored his fingers, stretching Ichigo and patiently waiting until his sensual lover began thrusting back onto his fingers, hips grinding down as Ichigo desperately searched for that feeling again.

He hoped the lithe, sweating, and so very tempting orange-haired young man was ready because his self-restraint had long since reached its limits and he wanted nothing more than to enter the heat his fingers were thoroughly enjoying right now.

Removing the confines of his own clothing, Sousuke lined himself up at Ichigo's winking entrance, jaw clenched in concentration as he paused for just a moment before forcing himself to slowly push in, having noticed that brief instant when Ichigo had tensed with more than a little dose of apprehension.

By the gods, it should be illegal for anyone to be so _tight_.

Both of them gasped as Ichigo unintentionally clamped down around Sousuke's pulsing member and it took all his willpower not to abandon any rational thinking and just pound into the body beneath him with brutal force. He could see lids screwed shut, small drops of pain and discomfort trickling out of their corners as Ichigo struggled to relax his body and adjust to his size and he leaned down to press a kiss to ravished lips in order to distract both Ichigo from the pain and himself from his growing need.

Tongues engaged in a fierce battle as they fought to focus on something other than their current overpowering sensations and to both of their relief, it wasn't long before Ichigo's body relaxed enough to allow Sousuke to fully sheathe himself in tight, velvety warm walls.

They paused, breaths heavy and sweat sliding off their skin like drops of water on melting ice, and Sousuke shifted a bit before freezing when he heard a delightful mewl from debauched lips. Grinding their hips even closer together to push in as deep as he could go, he knew he found that bundle of nerves he had prodded earlier when Ichigo demanded weakly, "Sousuke if you do not move right now, I swear I'll kick your ass." The wall holding him back all but shattered with those words, spoken in such a wanton, husky voice, and Sousuke responded more than willingly. Pulling back almost all the way, he slammed back into the tight heat, relishing in the feeling of those walls clamping down with a vice-like grip as Ichigo arched his back and hissed out a delicious moan of desire.

Feeling Sousuke thrust in and out of him in a steady rhythm, Ichigo looked up at him with lidded, lust-hazed eyes and marveled at how different the man was. Glistening skin stretched and loosened as muscles rippled beneath their smooth surface and Sousuke's face was so full of raw desire that it left him breathless. Never had he expected to see someone directing such intense emotion at him, much less Sousuke who was always so reserved, so closed off, so far away.

That distance was closed the instant lips covered his in another desperate and needy kiss as heat coiled tightly inside both of them, priming them for their release.

And as Ichigo came with a cry, his white seed shooting out once more between them and coating their hot stomachs with sticky essence, he knew that he was now completely in love with this man.

Sousuke grunted when Ichigo's muscles spazzed and caused his walls to constrict almost painfully around him and it took only a couple more quick thrusts before he felt the unbearable pressure that had been building up inside him finally release in a steady stream of viscous, fluid substance that filled the warm cavern he was buried in. Slumping forward, he managed to brace himself on his forearms, barely preventing his body from crushing the panting ginger head beneath him.

There was a restful moment of silence as both men struggled to recapture their breaths from the lust-filled act of love-making they had just performed. Ichigo could feel sleep tugging at his eyes and he was quite impressed when Sousuke had the strength to work up the energy to get up and go get something to wipe them down. Body still covered with his own fluid, Ichigo felt he should be seriously grossed out but right now, the damp sheets he was lying on were the most appealing things in the world.

Struggling to stay awake, he blearily looked up as Sousuke returned with new, clean sheets and a wet towel and he hummed in satisfaction when he felt the stickiness covering him begin to get gently wiped away. As his body was maneuvered to allow Sousuke to strip the bed of the dirtied sheets before setting up the new ones, he struggled to form coherent thoughts. Forcing himself to reach up a heavy arm to lightly touch Sousuke's cheek when he felt him move his body back into a comfortable position on the bed while a downy blanket was pulled over him, he mumbled sleepily, "Sousuke… I d'know if… now's a good time but… I think… no, I know that… you… I lo-"

Lips pressed against his, so very tenderly that for some reason, the kiss seemed so terribly fragile, like it was on the brink of disappearing as Sousuke said quietly in a surprisingly weary voice, "Go to sleep Ichigo. You look exhausted." Feeling another fresh wave of his own weariness flood through his system, far stronger than before, Ichigo nodded reluctantly. He could always say those three special words tomorrow when they were both more refreshed and awake. At peace with this plan, it wasn't long before he felt himself begin to drift off as Sousuke's fingers threaded through his hair in soothing, almost longing motions.

He sleepily wondered why Sousuke suddenly looked so sad.

And he just missed the very soft, "I'm sorry," as he drifted away into a deep, dreamless sleep.

It would be the last restful sleep he would have for a very long time to come.

* * *

><p>AN: Well that was interesting... second attempt at writing yaoi smut and I think it was alright. I was reading other fanfics to get a better idea of how to write it so I hope it came out okay ^^ This chapter was a bit short for my liking but it's the last fluffy scene before everything sort of goes downhill if my foreshadowing was anything to go by so I wanted to end here.

On a side note...

To people who are both disappointed by the tragic end TW will have and/or bothered by the OCs in the earlier chapter, no worries. My plans for the OCs aren't going to be focused here and I have no intentions of having them be flat characters. They will play a much bigger role in a sequel I have already started planning out and before I get any lectures about doing something like a sequel, I want to let it be known that I never intended for this plot line to be a complete tragedy hence why I left it under the genre of angst. Yes, Sou-chan dies but no that will not be the end. I had plans to make a separate story about what comes after because the sequel will be much, much different from TW which focused almost exclusively on events in Hueco Mundo. It may seem like an abrupt decision on my part since I didn't mention this earlier but the idea has been with me since I started TW and it is by no means a spontaneous idea, for me at least.

On another side note...

I will try to get out a couple chapters for PH once TW finishes but since my comp somehow lost the file containing my outline for it, I'm kind of stuck in a rut and I have to re-remember how I wanted to centralize the plot and so I might focus on other things again. To people reading that story, I sincerely apologize :(

Ok, shutting up now. Hate writing long notes at the end DX

* * *

><p>Sad to say but I think this will be the last <em>Deleted Scenes<em> since I don't think they will quite suit the rest of the story. So enjoy!

_Don't Fool Around Outside the Bedroom_

He had told these thoughts to Starrk earlier, the one person he trusted to help him out since Grimmjow and the two young female arrangers were completely out of the question and the last time he'd tried visiting Orihime, he had stumbled upon a scene he was still trying to burn out of his mind without passing out from sheer embarrassment.

And as much as he wished the scene was something vaguely referenced to in the script, Ichigo really had seen them during their lunch break just before they started the next scene. He had heard moaning and due to his conditioned reflex to help those in need, he had mistaken the moans as sounds of pain and had dashed around a corner into a less used hallway, all ready to use his doctoring skills to attend the injured.

Except... there was no injured person. Only two people, one a blank-faced but ever so slightly blushing Ulquiorra and the other Orihime, the one making the moaning noises. Both turned when they heard him round the corner and though Orihime flushed a dark cherry red, neither made any motion to stop their love-making and Ichigo's brain all but short-circuited before he let out a very manly shriek and whipped the other way stammering in a flustered rush, "I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't- I mean- completely accidental- oh my god sorry!"

And then he was gone, disappearing with a speed that put Yoruichi to shame.

Lest to say that was the last time Ichigo went anywhere where suspicious sounds were coming from.

_Fujoshis, You Gotta Love 'Em_

A hand slid from his back lower until it curved around the firm shape of his ass, a light squeeze sending a shiver down his spine at the silent promises Sousuke was making as the man began carefully guiding them in the direction of what he assumed was his bedroom.

"KYAAAAH!"

The ecstatic squeal and flash of a camera made them trip and land in a very compromising position with Aizen in a somehow graceful sprawl on his back and Ichigo straddling his waist, faces extremely close though more confused than aroused at this point which only caused another squeal that was cut off.

Getting into upright positions, Ichigo scowled over at where Renji was covering a starry-eyed Rukia's mouth while trying to wrestle the camera out of her vice-like grip. Sending an apologetic look at the blushing and scowling Ichigo and the more bemused Aizen, he said, "My bad. Thought I hid all the cameras from her and she promised she would behave but I guess her fujoshi senses went overboard."

Running a hand through his hair agitatedly, Ichigo asked in what was certainly not a whiny voice, "Do we have to do that again? I don't think I'll be able to do it right a second time." Urahara beamed cheerily from behind his fan as he called, "Never fear Kurosaki-kun~ We'll just set you up in your positions that you ended with and go from there~"

Grumbling curses under his breath, Ichigo stood and let Aizen wrap his arms around him again and blushed when one hand caressed his ass again. Perverted bastard, he should so punch him in the gut for this.

Though Ichigo held back from doing so, he did stomp on the other man's foot when Aizen looked at Rukia seriously and said, "I want a copy after this Ms. Kuchiki."


	25. From Dream to Nightmare: Betrayal

_He had been sleeping peacefully for a long time. He could feel how well-rested his body was and he was beginning to feel the natural sensation of awakening. However, something caused him to slip back into sleep though his consciousness felt startlingly aware for something he knew was a dream._

_Looking around in the pitch-black darkness, he knew that he hadn't been pulled into his inner world so that wasn't why he wasn't waking up. But this sleep also didn't quite feel natural either so it couldn't be that he was still too tired. Before he could ponder over it more, a sound drifted to his ears and something glimmered in the distance before forming into a sitting, hunched over figure._

_Someone was crying. Her sobs sounded so familiar and Ichigo wondered why Orihime was crying. She was definitely not crying because she was really happy. Her tears were due to pain, an intense pain he never knew she could feel, especially now when she and Uquiorra were so in love. They were different tears from anything else before- deep, wrenching, anguished sobs that shook her entire frame as she held something in her arms. _

_No not something._

_Someone._

_A chill ran down Ichigo's spine but he forced himself to take a step closer, calling softly, "Orihime?" though in the darkness, his voice echoed loudly as though he were shouting. Yet, she didn't seem to hear him. In fact, it was like he wasn't there at all because she suddenly cried out desperately, "No! Leave him alone! Do what you want to me but leave him alone!" Her sharp voice penetrated the darkness loudly, reverberating throughout it and causing the raw anger and sadness in her cry to seem amplified._

_Who was she talking about?_

_More like, who was she even talking to?_

_He couldn't tell, the darkness had not yet receded beyond her. But there was a silhouette standing before her and by her words alone, it was easy to deduce she was speaking to another person._

_Her hands clutched the figure in her arms even tighter as she hissed bitterly in a voice so venomous he was surprised, "You already took Ulquiorra away from me."_

_Ichigo stopped breathing for a moment. _

_What?_

_That prone, lifeless looking body was the cuatro espada?_

_Then… Ulquiorra… was dead?_

_But how? Why? And who was strong enough to kill him?_

_Her voice rose again to another defiant cry as she set the person -Ulquiorra his numb mind supplied- onto the ground gently and then stood, shouting vehemently, "But I won't let you hurt him too! I will stop you even if it costs me my life!" Her eyes blazed with a strength that would have made Tatsuki proud and it would have impressed him too if it weren't for the fact he was filled with growing trepidation._

_"This time, I'll protect Ichigo!"_

_And her hands were suddenly at her clips, lips forming an incantation as she summoned Tsubaki but even though the power behind her attack was greater than ever before, Ichigo didn't want her to attack whoever it was she was fighting with. Somehow, a deep, instinctive part of him knew she had no chance of winning and that she should be getting as far away as possible, not fighting. Running towards her, he realized the distance wasn't getting any shorter between them so he shouted, "Orihime get away!" But her gaze remained resolutely fixed on her opponent, energy glowing like red hot lava from the amount of reiatsu she was putting into her attack, as she then fired Tsubaki with a single piercing cry._

_"Koten Zeshun!"_

_There was a loud cracking noise and then an explosion of light that forced him to shield his eyes though he tried to make himself see beyond the black spots dancing in his vision. While Orihime's attack had been considerably far more powerful than usual since there had actually been a serious intent to cause harm behind it, there was no way the resulting explosion had been caused by her attack alone. When he was finally able to see again, what he saw made his heart freeze._

_A red spot had appeared on Orihime's back, just below her heart, the crimson blooming like a nightmarish rose against the stark white color of her clothes. Orange hair fluttered as she swayed and coughed up blood before her knees gave out and she slowly collapsed onto the ground, falling forward in almost slow motion onto her forearms which weakly supported her. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, to protect her, but he still couldn't close that chasm of distance between them and it hurt so much to not be able to reach her. _

_As he watched blood continue to leak out of her body like water from a broken dam, it was like watching his mother die all over again and it hurt._

_Watching helplessly as she struggled to get up, his pleas for her to stay down going unheard, she choked out in a startlingly anguished, accusing voice, "Why? He trusts you, he _loves_ you… so why?" Those words made everything inside him go cold._

_No._

_The shadows that had been covering the person Orihime had attacked were slowly pulling away revealing a white clad figure, finger raised and pointed towards where she had been standing, residue energy swirling around it from the kido spell that had been fired._

_This wasn't real._

_A familiar purple obi holding a sheathed sword appeared and as the shadows continued to retreat, a terribly familiar chest he had touched just a few hours ago appearing soon after._

_He wouldn't._

_A calm smile on a perfectly angular face came next as well as the tips of brown wavy hair._

_Just a dream. This was all just one really bad nightmare._

_Cold, emotionless dark brown eyes that contained no warmth, no pity, no _Sousuke_, were the last to appear. _

_This wasn't real._

_He was still smiling that awful insincere smile as he looked down at the struggling to breathe young woman and said in a voice that would have been friendly had the situation been different, "Ms. Inoue, I must thank you for making everything move so smoothly. You helped make Ichigo feel comfortable here thus causing him to lower his guard. I hadn't intended for things to get this far due to time restraints but, well..." _

_The smile turned into a cruel smirk. _

_"It will be quite easy breaking him now that my very existence has become his greatest weakness. But have no fear Ms. Inoue, you will soon be together with my cuatra again and Ichigo's well-being will no longer be of your concern."_

_It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's-_

_A shriek of pain pierced his ears and he cried out as he watched another beam of light, a poisonous purple colored kido spell he had never seen before, pierce Orihime again, her body writhing as if in immense pain. The destructive force of the spell was so tangible in the dark empty space they were in but though it felt so terribly real, when Orihime's body stilled and her whimpers of pain ceased and Sousuke continued to look down at her with not a trace of remorse, he knew it had to be a dream._

_Something was shaking him harshly and slowly the nightmare with the two dead bodies and that lone heartless man who resembled his lover but couldn't possibly be him began melting away into nothing._

_It was all just a dream._

* * *

><p>A voice, deep and guttural and almost border-line frantic was hissing into his ear as a firm grip on his shoulder shook him harshly, dragging him slowly into the realm of awareness. "Goddammit wake the fuck up shinigami!"<p>

Cold sweat trickling down his neck, Ichigo pried his startlingly heavy lids open, finding himself staring into agitated pools of azure blue. Mind still muddled and shaken from his nightmare, it took him a couple seconds to recognize the chiseled form above him and even longer to speak his name.

"Grimm…jow…?"

His voice was hoarse, like a wad of cotton had been shoved down his throat but the sexta didn't seem to really care as he threw some clothes down onto him and snapped quietly, "Get changed and hurry the fuck about it. Starrk's standing guard but we still don't have much time."

Confused, Ichigo shook his head to get himself more awake as he began pulling the clothes on, too preoccupied by the tenseness in Grimmjow's broad shoulders and the urgency in his voice to be concerned about privacy. "What-" Blue eyes snapped to him in a sharp glare. "Not. Now. We need to get you the hell outta here." Completely lost by the situation, Ichigo felt his own temper flare slightly as he glared back and snapped in an equally quiet tone though he still wasn't quite sure why they were being so quiet, "Don't bullshit me Grimmjow. Tell me what the hell is going on." He had finished haphazardly tugging on a white top that resembled the one he usually wore during his time in Hueco Mundo as well as comfy white hakama pants held up by a dark red obi, black tabi, and waraji.

An aggravated growl escaped grimacing lips and when the espada just grabbed his arm and began pulling him towards the door, Ichigo thought he was going to be ignored. But finally, Grimmjow snarled lowly, grip tightening as anger, resentment, and something else that he couldn't quite name flooded his voice, "We've been tricked." Passing through the door and meeting Starrk who looked surprisingly awake for once, Ichigo felt butterflies of anxiety fluttering in his stomach as he glanced between the two and asked warily, "Tricked? I don't-"

A large hand gently landed on his head as Starrk looked at him with somber, almost sad eyes and murmured, "We'll explain once you're safeo but right now, we need to get you out of Hueco Mundo. A seal has been placed on all the gates leading to the Human World so we'll need to go to the control room and set up a gargantuan from there. Grimmjow will take you, I will fight off anyone that tries to interfere."

Before he could protest, a thick, muscled arm looped around his waist and threw him over a strong shoulder as Grimmjow suddenly took off, his sonido making him very dizzy and causing his stomach to lurch nauseatingly. Flashing past several hallways, Ichigo blearily noted that everything was eerily empty and quiet. Throughout his entire stay here, there had always been at least some hollow of some ranking milling around. Most of the times he never interacted with any of them though there were some random occasions in which he saw them staring at him with unnerving awe whenever he was with one of the espada.

But this, this was just weird borderline creepy. Las Noches's white walls and impeccable cleanliness had always been strange but combined with the absolute lack of life, it seemed even more ominous. He wanted to go back to Sousuke's room and stay there until everything became normal again but his nightmare flashed unbidden in his mind, reminding him of the lack of warmth in those dark brown pools he had come to love so much.

Something tugged inside him uncomfortably and his breath got caught in trepidation but he somehow managed to ask hesitantly, "Wait, what about Orihime and Ulquiorra?"

Silence_._

"Grimmjow, answer me dammit-"

"They're dead."

His head pounded with several different emotions and thoughts.

Dead?

But that wasn't possible.

They couldn't be-

His dream. Ulquiorra's prone body, Orihime's cries and then _her_ unmoving body, Grimmjow and Starrk's strange urgent behavior, and Sousuke.

Suddenly, everything clicked in a hazy, surreal sort of way.

Why they were being so secretive, why the two espada he had become close to were rushing to get him out, why a chill persisted in turning everything inside him cold with fear and denial.

Why the ring around his neck suddenly seemed so very heavy.

They weren't running from some unknown enemy. They weren't trying to hide from invading shinigamis trying to rescue him. No, they were trying to escape.

Grimmjow and Starrk were trying to save him.

From their leader. From Sousuke. The man whom he had shared both anguish and happiness with. The man whom just a few hours ago, he had shared his body with. The man whom he was very much in love with and who he was so sure loved him back.

This couldn't be real.

Fisting his hands, Ichigo tried to regain control over himself as he said lowly, "I want to see him." He didn't need to see Grimmjow's face to know the sexta had given him an incredulous look. "Are you retarded? We're not exactly going through all this trouble because we're playin' a game with him you idiot!" Ichigo shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut as he snapped back, "Something's wrong about this whole situation no matter how you look at it! Sousuke, he wouldn't-"

Thy suddenly slid to halt as Grimmjow kicked a door down and stepped into a room full of control panels and screens. He unceremoniously dropped Ichigo onto the ground, hissing a quick, "Don't you dare fucking leave this room," before he approached one of the monitors and cursed when he saw Sousuke step out of a room in one of the screens. The room Ulquiorra and Orihime shared Ichigo realized with a numbing chill. Starrk appeared at his side not a minute later and together, they began frantically pushing buttons, eyes darting occasionally to the screen to check where their leader was before returning to what they were doing. He watched them, unable to find the strength to even stand from the floor as he tried to find a reason as to why Sousuke had been in Orihime's room other than what his dream had showed.

One of Starrk's guns glowed and Ichigo was too befuddled to be surprised when Lilynette landed on the ground beside him, her pink cat-like eyes looking at him in concern. Reaching out and tugging on his sleeve, she asked in such a small voice, "Are you okay Ichigo?" He couldn't even find it in him to plaster a facade of strength on his face to reassure her. "I don't know what's going on." Glancing back at her partner briefly, Lilynette returned her gaze to him as she said, "Nel came to me and Starrk crying really loudly. She said she had been at the princesa's room to visit but when she got there and looked through the doorway, she saw Aizen-sama shoot a kido spell through Ulquiorra."

Ichigo's blood ran cold as he listened to her continue.

"Nel didn't see if he survived or not because she fled right then and there, only because the princesa had seen her and motioned for her to get away. By the time she came to us though, we felt Ulquiorra's reiatsu vanish and the princesa's spike like crazy and then Nel told us what she saw. I wanted to go help but Starrk stopped me. He said- he said that if Aizen-sama had really done that, then we had to get to you. He said it was selfish and that you might hate him for it but he wanted to protect you more than the princesa who we may or may not have been able to get to on time."

Looking up at Starrk's tensed back, Ichigo couldn't tell if he was angry or not. All he could feel was a growing void in his chest as the faded puzzle pieces were slowly becoming clearer and clearer.

But none of the reasoning behind them made any sense.

Why would Sousuke- why was this all happening? Just the other night, they had lain in each other's arms as their bodies molded together in a passionate act of love. The emotions in Sousuke's eyes, the sounds he had emitted as they came, the pure love in his voice as he said his name could not have possibly been fake.

Staring blankly into nothing as he struggled to come to terms with things, he wondered why everything was suddenly spiraling down into chaos so quickly. Why was Sousuke behaving so strangely, both in his dream and in real life? Why had he… why had he killed two people who had never done anything to harm him and who had been so deeply in love? Why had he killed his dear friend and the espada he had come to grudgingly like after promising he would never hurt anybody he cared for ever again? He didn't even recognize his own voice as he uttered softly, "Sousuke why…?"

He did however, notice the detached, amused voice behind him that said in a light, mocking tone, "Why what Ichigo?"

The espadas whipped around as Lilynette swiftly moved to shield Ichigo with her body, sharp teeth bared in a snarl as she hissed at the intimidating figure standing in the doorway.

Ichigo turned slowly and stared up at his love with wide, disbelieving eyes as he said a touch shakily, "You didn't- You didn't really kill them right? It's just… it's a lie right?" A smile that didn't reach his eyes was on Sousuke's face as he stepped closer, ignoring the warning growl from both Lilynette and Grimmjow this time, as he replied offhandedly, "You mean Ms. Inoue and Ulquiorra? I only really killed my cuarta. A tad disappointing since he was so promising but he insisted on pretending to have feelings that were quite useless to me. As for the girl," the smile became darker and far more malevolent, "She attacked me so I simply acted out of self-defense. It is of no fault of mine if she failed to avoid my counterattack."

He couldn't even breathe around the hurt emotion clogging his throat. His dream flashed through his mind again only this time, it was becoming more and more real, invading his reality and becoming a tangible monstrous nightmare that threatened to drown him in agony.

"You… you promised you would never hurt any of my friends, that you were going to end the war peacefully…" There was no way the shinigamis would overlook the fact he had killed a human and though that vaguely registered in his head, he was more concerned about Sousuke's promise to him and the fact that Orihime, sweet Orihime who had never done anything besides get involved in all his messes, was dead because this man had killed her in cold blood.

Awful smirk still plastered on his face, Sousuke took another step closer, ignoring another warning growl from his subordinates, as he asked in a ludicrously false, innocent tone, "What promise?" Not deigning Ichigo's pained and so very confused expression a glance, he looked behind him and sighed in mock exasperation before saying, "I told Neliel to stay put. Well now, she just wasted the little life I left in her for some foolish attempt to come here."

Just beyond him was a tiny green figure, motionless and pale just like Orihime and Ulquiorra had been. Blood was seeping from the little curled body and if they looked further behind her, they would see a trail of the red liquid marking the path she took. One little cherub hand was extended, as though desperately seeking for another to take it and Ichigo knew that the endearing little hollow had been reaching for _him_.

Something cracked inside of him then and he surged to his feet, moving past Lily though she called for him to stop as he grabbed the front of Sousuke's robes tightly. Honey brown eyes blazing with fury, pain, and adamant denial, he shouted, "You bastard! You swore you would never hurt them!" Seemingly unperturbed by Ichigo's anger, Sousuke tilted his head to the side and said mock thoughtfully, "Oh that promise. I did say something along those lines didn't I? Well then," and he smiled, so much like how he did before only it didn't reach his eyes now as he said, "It's a good thing I only killed them. I suppose there was a bit of pain involved but it lasted for only a few brief minutes, Neliel being an exception of course." His eyes and voice were like ice, like when he had been about to kill Rukia after ruthlessly cutting him and Renji down and Ichigo realized he didn't know who this man was.

He certainly wasn't the Sousuke Ichigo had loved.

"And did you really think I meant it when I made such a promise to you? I must say, you're quite a bit more foolish than I thought Ichigo."

Hearing his name roll off his tongue after he just said those terrible words made Ichigo lose any sort of logical thought as he clenched Sousuke's robes so tightly his knuckles turned white and demanded thickly, "Then what the hell was that last night! Are you going to tell me that that was also a lie? Your words, your actions… did they really mean nothing at all? Wh-"

Fingers abruptly grabbed his chin and tilted it up, lips meeting his in a surprisingly gentle kiss and for a moment, Ichigo thought that it had been fake, that everything was just one really bad joke and that the Sousuke he loved was there and kissing him and making everything alright again.

But the furious screech from Shiro in his mind as well as Starrk barely pulling him out of harm's way as a kido spell flew past him, only grazing the side of his upper arm as it smashed into the wall behind them and shattered the cement, debris falling onto the monitors and causing one of them to break... all of this made him realize that this was all very real.

Stinging pain shot through his body from the gash on his arm but Ichigo couldn't bother to pay attention to the pain, only the meaning behind it.

That shot had been meant to kill him.

Compared to the tearing agony in his chest caused by the betrayal of the one he had fallen in love with, the injury on his arm was like a prick from a thorn. Negligible. Insignificant. _Temporary_.

So very different from the emotional pain that threatened to swallow him whole.

Starrk's grip tightened around him as the primera asked in a deceptively calm voice, "Grimmjow is the gargantuan ready?" A sharp hiss before he replied, "Yeah but you really think it's possible to get outta here now that bastard-sama's here?" Ichigo blinked when he felt Starrk gently push him toward Grimmjow before he heard that lazy drawl he had come to care quite a bit for state simply, "Go Grimmjow."

The finality of those words made Ichigo jerk his head up and he fought against Grimmjow's strong grip as he shouted desperately, "No, stop Starrk! You can't- you once said yourself that you can't win against Sou- against him!" Stormy grey eyes glanced back at him with such tender fondness that had once been in his love's eyes as the primera said quietly, "I can't win but I can buy you time to get somewhere safe. And to me, that's more important than my life."

He smiled, something sad and forlorn as he held out his hand and Lilynette shifted into a gun, her handle nestling perfectly into his grip, while he added, "I wanted you to be happy so I held myself back. You gave me companionship, something far more precious to me than anything else and I wished for you to experience the same joy I felt even if it meant letting someone else have you. If I had known that Aizen-sama never truly loved you… I would have taken you away long ago myself."

Ichigo froze, his chest constricting painfully as he now realized that all those times he had gone to the primera for advice, it must have been so painful for Starrk whose words indicated that he had harbored feelings far more profound than simple liking for him. And yet even now, when he knew Starrk would have truly loved him with every fiber of his being and even left Hueco Mundo to fight at his side regardless of any consequences, he knew his heart was still wrapped around the man who, up until now, had been surveying the scene before him silently, expression unreadable though if Ichigo tried to delude himself he thought he saw a frown of displeasure on his love's face.

Because as much pain as he was in at the moment, Ichigo was still very much in love with the lying bastard known as Aizen Sousuke and he was still hoping to see a glimpse of the man to whom he had given everything.

Starrk had turned his attention back to his former leader and now had his guns leveled at him, gaze focused and clear of emotion once more as he stood rigidly between Aizen and the two people who were about to escape. Voice sharpening and body tensing even more, he didn't look back as he ordered Grimmjow, "Find a shop that has a strong spiritual reiatsu, I think the people there will help you." Something changed in his voice as he then added softly, "Protect him Grimmjow. Protect him like your life depends on it."

Said sexta snorted. "Don't get your ass kicked if you have such little faith in me then." That was the closest to a "goodbye and good luck" as the two proud men could share before Grimmjow ripped a gargantuan open and lunged through, dragging Ichigo with him as he struggled, a poor paradox of the time when he had brought him to Hueco Mundo long ago. "Let me go you bastard! You can't just leave him! He'll die!"

Gritting sharp teeth in frustration, azure eyes glared at him as Grimmjow growled lowly, "And what the hell're you gonna do if you go back there shinigami? Once those two start fighting, you'll be as useful as a fish in a fucking desert with your reiatsu sealed like that. If you wanna go back there and let Starrk's sacrifice go to waste, fine by me but you'll be the one who regrets it later." His words were painfully sharp and Ichigo hated him for being right.

But the situation at hand was far more unbearable than the thought of being crushed by massive amounts of reiatsu.

Orihime had been killed because she had also tried to protect him even when she had been forced to watch her lover die before her eyes.

Nel had dragged her body, bleeding and broken, to be at his side even though she must have been terrified and in so much agony and so very aware that she was only heading closer to danger.

And now Starrk and Lilynette too, they were throwing their lives into a battle they knew they couldn't win all because they wanted to protect him.

All because he was too weak to fight for himself.

All because even if he did have the strength to fight, they would still have sent him away because they didn't want to see him hurting.

His attempts to escape stopping, he buried his face into Grimmjow's shoulder and to his inner relief, the espada didn't say anything about it, only tightened his grip when somewhere behind them back in the room they had left, he felt Tousen's reiatsu join bastard-sama's as it clashed against Starrk's. Where the other espada were, he decided against dwelling on, though the whole thing seemed suspicious since not even the crazy bastard Nnoitra was chasing them.

It was times like these when he wondered what the fuck bastard-sama was thinking and what he was trying to accomplish.

Clicking his tongue in frustration when he felt Starrk's reiatsu fade a bit, Grimmjow muttered a quick apology before yanking out his sword and hissing, "Grind, Pantera." A heavy burst of reiatsu elicited a strangled cry from Ichigo but Grimmjow couldn't afford to worry about controlling his reiatsu since he could tell Starrk wasn't going to be able to last much longer.

It was amazing he was even still alive considering he was fighting against both bastard-sama and the justice maniac both of whom were at the bare minimum captain's level. Grimmjow had to use every last ounce of his strength if he wanted to get the shinigami to safety.

Speed much more enhanced, he burst forward, checking briefly to make sure Ichigo was still among the living and was semi-surprised that something dangling from his neck was saving the shinigami from being crushed but not putting much thought into it, before he finally leaped out the end of the portal. Not even bothering to wait for it to shut, he surged onward but he briefly felt something pierce his side despite the white armor on his body and he hissed as he glared back to follow the trail of reiatsu to where bastard-sama was smirking at the other end, finger raised and indicating he had just barely avoided the same death Ulquiorra had probably suffered.

The bastard had to have done something to the spell since there was no way a normal shinigami attack could cause him to bleed so much and feel this much pain especially in his resurrecion form. Hearing the faint, pained gasps from Ichigo as he struggled to breathe, he grit his teeth against the searing fire from his side and threw everything he had into sonido-ing through the air straight towards a shop that contained a strong reiatsu.

It reeked of a shinigami but he could only hope that it was the one that Starrk had told him to find.

He wouldn't be able make it to anywhere else at this point.

* * *

><p>To say Urahara was surprised when something smashed through his ceiling at an impressive speed was understandable. To say he was surprised when he saw it was a wheezing espada -what he assumed to be an espada judging by the reiatsu at least since he wasn't exactly wearing the standard white uniform- with a pale Ichigo curled protectively in his arms was an understatement.<p>

Yoruichi had leaped to her feet, muscles coiled and tensed and ready to attack but Urahara waved her back. "Calm down Yoruichi-san, I don't think this espada came here looking for a fight." Yoruichi relaxed somewhat though her gaze remained hard as she restlessly watched the two figures. The shopkeeper knew she wanted to get their student away from possible danger right away but he had an inkling that the espada was not as weakened but also not as much of a threat as he seemed to be.

Well, first things first.

"Tessai."

The command brought forth the cowering giant from around a corner, his comical shaking instantly gone as he approached the two prone men. Kneeling beside them, he reached out to try to get a better look at them but a low, warning snarl made him pause.

In a split second, the espada had lurched to unsteady feet and was on the side of the room furthest away from them, face contorted with pain but eyes gleaming with feral danger as he held Ichigo close with one arm while the other, a touch shakily, held up a blade at them. Tail sliding in agitation on the ground, he watched them with a wariness that resembled a wild animal cornered by hunters and his reiatsu crackled agitatedly in the air.

Tessai looked at his boss helplessly and Urahara smiled lightly before taking charge. Not stepping closer since he saw any movements they made caused the espada to grow tenser, he said mildly, "Judging by your appearance though it is quite different from what I've heard, you are Grimmjow Jaegerjacquez-san?" Sharp azure orbs still watching them closely despite pain beginning to cloud them, he snarled venomously, "Whose asking?"

Meeting his wild gaze evenly, Urahara replied calmly, "Urahara Kisuke. That charming young man in your arms who I believe you are suffocating with your reiatsu is my student."

Recognition flared in his eyes at the name but before he allowed himself to relax, Grimmjow demanded in a weaker voice than he would have liked, "Are there other shinigamis here?" Shaking his head, Urahara gestured for Tessai to follow him as he walked over to the slowly easing espada and said, "Nope. And if any do come because of your rather loud entry to the Human World, I'll tell them I dealt with you."

If he was surprised by the willingness to cover for an enemy, Grimmjow was too weakened to show it as he grudgingly let the strange shopkeeper take Ichigo from him before shifting back to his normal form and collapsing onto the ground. Tessai looked torn between which of the two he should check but Yoruichi piped up from behind them, "Look at the kitty cat Tessai. I think Ichigo's more or less unharmed 'side from that cut on his arm but even Kisuke can patch something like that up himself."

Nodding, Tessai heaved Grimmjow's body up and carried him to one of the back rooms where he set up a barrier to prevent the hollow-tainted reiatsu from being detected before getting to work on the espada's wound.

While he did so, Urahara brought Ichigo to an adjacent room before clicking his tongue and debating on what to do first. The injury Ichigo had was hardly life-threatening and if anything, the stress from pressure from reiatsu was the only reason why he was unconscious but he knew that there was something deeper, more emotionally inflicted that was keeping his student down.

He had an idea of what had transpired but everything was pretty much up to speculation and guesswork at best even if he did get a story from his two guests. Because as intelligent as Ichigo was, he was so very bad at seeing things beyond what they were since he was such an upfront sort of individual and Aizen was a master of disguising his true feelings.

What was the saying? 'Opposites attract' or something along those lines?

Sighing, Urahara decided to inspect Ichigo's wound first. Surprisingly or not, it was hardly anything to be concerned about and so he easily bandaged it up. The hard parts were removing the reiatsu sealer around Ichigo's neck which he had noticed when he didn't sense his student's wild reiatsu like usual, and getting said student to wake up. Since he couldn't exactly do anything about the second part, he stood up and went to look for little tools to help him break the sealer.

Aizen's trinkets were usually quite impressive but he hadn't been the one in charge of the research and technology division for several decades.

Pausing outside the room Tessai and Grimmjow were in, he peeked in and inquired, "Everything alright Tessai?" His longtime friend looked quite tensed but Urahara was more interested by the fact that he was using so much reiatsu to heal the espada. It was unusual considering he had healed wounds far worse than what Grimmjow was sporting with little trouble but when he went closer to examine it, he realized why Tessai was struggling.

What Grimmjow had been hit by had to be a combination of a powerful but normal offensive kido spell and one of the more forbidden techniques used by the special forces for assassinations or torture. With Aizen's immense reiatsu thrown into the mix, it was not too surprising the wound was both difficult to heal as well as a huge pain inducer.

Aizen's attack had been quite merciless.

And yet at the same time, it seemed strange.

For someone of Aizen's caliber, it should have been quite easy to strike down an espada he created no matter their strength or speed and yet the location of Grimmjow's wound was coincidentally in a place that was far from vital. Painful sure but nothing that would keep the apparently rather strong-willed espada down. It was a clean hit and once they removed the effects of the spell, it would only be a matter of hours before Grimmjow would be able to move around again.

And then Ichigo…

His wound must have been caused by the same kido spell since he didn't think Aizen would randomly alternate between spells if he was toying with his victims but Ichigo's wound hadn't demonstrated the same painful effects as Grimmjow's was. It was a quick wash-and-bandage sort of wound and it brought forth many questions.

What happened?

What was Aizen trying to accomplish?

Was Aizen really the cause of the injuries on his two guests? If so, why did he let these two escape him then? Because without a doubt, if Aizen had wished for them to be dead, they would not be here.

And where was Inoue Orihime in all this?

Leaving Tessai to continue his work, Urahara thought over things slowly, trying to get a grasp of what was going on. He needed to get details from Ichigo or Grimmjow, the latter being more likely, but he already had a few guesses.

And if he was right, then Aizen Sousuke was one terribly foolish man.

But on to his own work with removeng Ichigo's seal. They could deal with the situation better once all parties involved were awake.

* * *

><p>Ichigo was soaked. Rain slammed against him, turning his skin icy cold though his faint trembles were hardly due to his chilled state. Sitting on one of the buildings in his inner world, legs pulled up and arms wrapped around them with his face hidden from view behind them, he wanted nothing more than to stay curled up like this and drown in his misery.<p>

For once, Shiro wasn't pestering him about the rain or even about being weak. The albino was nowhere in sight and Ichigo wasn't sure if that was making him feel better or just more alone. Not even Zangestu had appeared yet but even if he did, Ichigo didn't think any of his words could provide him much consolation.

Betrayal stung deep in his soul, evident by the thousands of cracks on the surfaces of many of the steel buildings and his grief for Orihime, Ulquiorra, Starrk, Lilynette, and Nel fell down from the sky as large drops of cold rain. Never had he experienced such agonizing losses all at the same time, especially right after the day he considered his happiest.

He wanted nothing more than to take the ring hanging around his neck and to throw it somewhere far away where he would never be able to find it. But not only would that require waking up and facing reality where people had died so that he could live but he was still so senselessly attached to the damn thing. It represented the happiness he had felt, the love he had experienced, the memories he had shared, all because of a merciless bastard who had never loved him back and whose palm he had danced in since the beginning.

How could he not realize he was being deceived? How could he have let his sworn enemy tell him sweet words that had fooled the entirety of Soul Society for longer than he was alive and still believe in them?

How could he still possibly love Aizen Sousuke despite all his heinous actions?

That single truth stung even worse than the bastard's betrayal because it felt like he was betraying the people who had died for his sake fighting against that man. It felt like he was letting down the shinigamis who would be putting their lives on the line in the war that was by now inevitable, perhaps had always been inevitable if Sousuke really had been lying to him this whole time.

It felt like he was tearing himself apart, torn between the love he still harbored for Sousuke and the biting hatred he felt towards Aizen. The contradictory nature Aizen Sousuke possessed which he thought he had understood but apparently never did made it seem like he was almost two completely different people and he could see why Hinamori Momo had suffered so much mental stress after her beloved captain left Soul Society.

He had thought she had been overreacting.

Now, he wondered how she managed to keep her sanity.

_"Ichigo."_

Zangetsu's deep, aged voice penetrated his thoughts like a knife and he almost flinched when he heard him. There was no anger, no disappointment, only a deep sadness in his voice that made him wish his zanpakuto had lectured him sternly like usual instead. Hearing the regret in Zangetsu's voice -for not stopping him from getting too close to the enemy or for some other reason he couldn't tell- made him feel even guiltier than before.

_"You must stand and move forward Ichigo. Turning back will make you weak. Did you forget?"_

Not brave enough to face him at the moment, Ichigo took a deep breath and mumbled, "I haven't forgotten Zangetsu-ossan. I just… need a minute and then I'll keep walking." Even if the very idea of lifting his head up felt torturous. A brush of tattered robes against his side let him know the aged man was now next to him and the closeness of his rumbling voice confirmed his suspicions.

"_Your blade… will it be sharp enough to cut down that man?"_

Ichigo didn't know. He would have liked to say yes but that would be lying and the fact that Zangetsu was even asking in the first place implied somewhere deep down, he lacked conviction. But the thought of others fighting Sou- of fighting Aizen… of seeing them being hurt by his hands or vice versa… that was excruciating. It would be like watching Rukia and Renji trying to legitimately kill each other only worse.

No, he wanted to, _had_ to be the one to fight Aizen and strike him down.

_"Memories of past events mean nothing to the ever-changing future. Your feelings now have the ability to make you stronger or weaker. Will you let your love hold your powers back in order to spare that man's life? Or will you turn it into a blade to protect the many others who you hold dear to you?"_

Even as Zangetsu spoke, Ichigo knew the answer. He always had been and always would be a protector, that was something not even his feelings for Sousuke could change.

He would fight. He had to. He didn't want other people dying, not if he could help prevent some of the casualties. The idea of crossing blades with... with the bastard shook him much more than he would have liked but if he insisted on going to war against his friends, then he would kill him himself. Even if the pain he was feeling now was blinding proof of his lingering affection for him.

This was his resolution.

Zangetsu seemed to be shrouded by an air of melancholy worse than ever before but there was also understanding. He would fight together with him, just like always even if the cold rain continued to pour over his head mercilessly. Such was the kindness and compassion of his seemingly perpetually unmoved zanpakuto.

_"If that is your will then I shall lend you my_ _power."_ It was as much of a promise as an offer. It was Zangetsu's usual roundabout way of saying he would provide him any support that he needed and that if he needed to escape from the real world to come for advice or even just companionship in order to continue moving forward, then the aged spirit would be there for him, always waiting on one of the buildings or on his pole in his inner world.

Never had he appreciated Zangetsu as much as he did now.

And in a rare display of affection of his own, Ichigo forced himself to his feet before wrapping his arms around his partner and mentor, the person who even now, represented a parental figure that no one else could match up to. If Zangetsu was surprised by his gesture, he didn't show it. Instead, he placed a hand on his head gently, painfully similar to how Starrk had earlier, before rumbling out quietly,

_"You must awaken Ichigo. In order for you to fight, you must release your reiatsu and that shopkeeper cannot do that safely until you are awake."_

He didn't want to but Zangetsu was right. He needed reiatsu in order to wield power. And he needed to talk to people, people he hadn't been able to truly see and speak with since his capture. Urahara, Rukia, Renji, the other shinigamis, his sisters and the goat-face, and then... his human friends.

It was going to be a long morning. Longer than it already had been at least.

And Ichigo was far from ready.

* * *

><p>AN: Whew, not much to say here. I'm quite bad at making things emotional and I tried really hard to keep characters in character while getting the angst across and trying to keep things from moving too fast o too slow. Hope it worked! Reviews are, as always, welcome and very much appreciated~


	26. Confrontations: Merciless Anguish

Ichigo felt a hand, gentle and familiar, resting on his head and he slowly opened his eyes to see Urahara leaning over him, his concerned and grave expression foreign after not having seen it in so long. But the serious expression swiftly vanished, replaced by his usual -and far more familiar- vague smile as he said playfully, "Oh good, you woke up on your own. I was starting to wonder if I would have to... convince you to get up."

Grimacing slightly at the idea of being subjected to one of Urahara's bizarre inventions again, Ichigo tried to think beyond the blanket of fog in his mind as his body grew more awake.

Orihime, Ulquiorra, Sou- no, _Aizen _he mentally berated, Starrk, Lily, Grimmjow...

His head snapped up, now fully awake and aware, and he grasped Urahara's sleeves tightly as he asked desperately, "Grimmjow! Is he- he's not-" He couldn't say it, couldn't bear to consider even the possibility of another death, but his worries were unnecessary.

He was gently pushed down onto the futon again -a futon he remembered waking up on frequently since becoming a shinigami- before the shopkeeper replied in a soothing manner, "He's fine Kurosaki-kun, if not a little sour about being bedridden. Yoruichi and Tessai are keeping an eye on him. His injury was a bit difficult to heal but it was nothing that a good dose of powerful kido healing couldn't do."

Ichigo closed his eyes in relief. If Grimmjow had also been killed trying to save him, he wasn't sure if he would have been able to handle it. He could feel a choking grief filling his chest already, twisting there like a knife and hurting in a way that was both excruciating and unforgiving as a reminder of those who had lost their lives for him. He covered his face with his arm, barely noticing that he was no longer wearing the white uniform from Hueco Mundo but instead a simple white yukata.

He was far more preoccupied with trying not to crack in front of one of the people he greatly respected.

There was a quiet ruffle of fabric as Urahara settled into a more comfortable position beside him but the older man didn't say anything, patiently waiting until Ichigo himself was ready to speak for which he was very grateful. If he had tried speaking now, he would have done something humiliating like crying. It was bad enough that he had lost a bit of his self-control in front of Zangetsu. He didn't want to act like a needy child in front of his other mentor as well.

As he lay in the surprisingly comforting room of the shoten, he finally mumbled so quietly that he wondered if Urahara had even heard him, "Orihime's dead." Fingers lightly touched his arm in a sympathetic and supportive gesture. "I guessed as much. You would have never left her behind if you knew she would be in danger."

He didn't deserve the calm understanding Urahara was giving him. If he hadn't fallen for Aizen's charms, if he'd been just a bit stronger, if he had protected her from the very beginning so that she was never forced to set foot in Hueco Mundo in the first place...

"I killed her."

Urahara let out a soft sigh before he took a sip of what he assumed was tea though there wasn't any steam rising out of it so he couldn't be too sure. Not that he was really focused on what the shopkeeper was drinking. Ichigo recognized the sound Urahara had emitted for what it was- a gesture of disbelief. He knew he was about to get reprimanded for trying to shoulder the blame again but he couldn't see how her death wasn't his fault. He had let Aizen into his heart just like how he had fallen for the Grand Fisher's trap years ago and now, another woman he greatly cared about had paid the price for his utter stupidity.

His jaw clenched as he grit his teeth. How many more people would he have to lose before he finally learned his lesson? How many more people would have to give their lives for him before he was strong enough to protect them himself?

Orihime, Ulquiorra, Starrk, Lily, and Nel flashed through his mind again.

Apparently, too many.

Something cold and wet suddenly landed on his head and he spluttered as a drop of cold tea slid into his mouth while the rest drenched his hair and face. Launching up into a sitting position again, he tried to shake some of the liquid off before pinning a fierce glare onto the perfectly calm shopkeeper beside him who was holding a now empty tea cup, looking for all the world as if he did not just dump the contents of said cup onto an already miserable person.

Throwing a wet and stained pillow that was easily dodged, he glowered and hissed angrily, "What the hell was that for you asshole?" Urahara flapped his omnipresent fan open and began fanning himself as he asked airily, "Are you done?" Ignoring the incredulous stare he received, he continued in the same off-hand tone, "Because if you are, we have other things that need to be accomplished and your 'pity me' moment isn't one of them."

He deftly caught the fist thrown at him and stared, without batting an eye, at smoldering honey chocolate orbs that reflected anger, frustration, and most of all, an intense emotional pain. It was a look Urahara had never wanted to see, especially not in Ichigo's eyes and a twinge of guilt in his conscience reminded him that this was all partly his fault.

For not teaching Ichigo how to discern lies, for not teaching him how to shove emotions away, for not teaching him how to be a proper shinigami because a sentimental part of him had always hoped to preserve the human child that he had met for the first time when Isshin had barged into his shop sixteen years ago to thrust a bundled baby boy into his face who had happily gnawed on his hat while staring up at him with sweet, innocent, vivacious eyes that he hadn't seen for centuries since he himself became a shinigami.

He had, in some ways, sheltered the person in front of him. And now, he was afraid that the innocent naiveté he had wanted to protect was already gone, replaced by bitterness and pain no teenager should have ever experienced.

Letting go of Ichigo's hand albeit reluctantly, he let rare emotion seep into his voice as he said quietly, "Ichigo, there is rarely a time when there is a single cause for something that happened. Yes, you allowed yourself to open your heart to Aizen but from what Grimmjow told us when he woke up earlier, no one merely sat back and waited for you to save them. They chose, of their own free will, to fight even when they knew they didn't stand a chance."

Placing his fan over Ichigo's mouth when he opened it to argue, he firmly added, "As for Inoue-chan in particular, it is understandable that you feel you should have watched over her more during your stay. But it was the shinigamis who were supposed to protect her while you trained that failed to provide her adequate guards and essentially allowed her to get kidnapped in the first place. Yoruichi-san and I were the ones who provided both of you training for powers you did not yet quite understand, for reasons that should have never really mattered to you. Perhaps it is your fault that Aizen had the chance to kill her. But the blame lies with the rest of us for creating the circumstances in which he had the chance to kill her."

Misery and heavy guilt still clung to his student like a second shadow and Urahara wished he had the magic words to make everything better. But he wasn't Masaki who had wisdom and compassion beyond her meager human years. He wasn't Ichimaru Gin who, despite his creepy tendencies, brought smiles to the faces of people he liked. And most of all, he wasn't the man who he could see Ichigo had loved, who the tender young man still probably loved, and who had created precious memories for him that were not likely to be erased any time soon.

The shinigamis could believe all they wanted about the relationship between Aizen and Ichigo but Urahara knew with almost complete certainty what had happened between them now. He knew what a destroyed love looked like. He had seen it in Isshin when Masaki died, had seen it when Byakuya was still in mourning after Hisana's death and when he had stolen Yoruichi from Soifon after their exile.

It was the look of someone who knew they could no longer touch their most precious person.

Opening his mouth, Urahara considered trying to comfort him again but all that came out of his ever so clever lips was, "Do you want your reiatsu back?"

The emotional problems were still there, lingering in hurting orbs that resembled Masaki's so much in color but certainly not emotion and it would only worsen. However the war was not going to wait, not anymore. They had a meager four days to get Ichigo healed and back to full power before sending him off to the vaizards for some intense training.

It was far too little time for Ichigo to be ready to fight and he wished not for the first time that the young teen had never been pulled into the shinigami's world. The war had become something sad and terribly personal for someone who had such a kind heart and Urahara was worried, afraid even, that it would change Ichigo permanently into someone very few of them would recognize.

It would not be the first case of war having that lifelong effect on a person.

It would also unfortunately not be the last.

But when Ichigo met his gaze, raw hurt and strong determination blazing in his eyes -so much so that he wondered how close exactly his student was to breaking- and stated resolutely, "Yes," Urahara knew that even if Ichigo was the only one who would come out of this war in pieces and with blood on his hands, the young teen would never retreat and let someone else take his place in the upcoming fight.

Because Ichigo was, and always would be, a martyr for the people he cherished.

That was the burden he carried as one who was born to be a protector.

And Urahara wondered why even now, Isshin refused to step forward and give the support his son desperately needed as he struggled through the turbulent sea of troubles he had been facing since he was just a child and he saw his first ghost.

But that was a touchy subject he had no wish to broach when things were shaky enough as they were. Getting to his feet, Urahara stepped out of the room briefly before returning with a slim silver wire. It was made of a special metal he himself had created and though its design was simple, it was an item that he never gave to anyone because of the potency of its cutting abilities.

Sliding one end beneath the collar around Ichigo's neck, he twisted the two ends together, hesitating before he yanked them tight as he murmured, "This wire will cut straight through the collar. When it does, your reiatsu will return in full blast and I'm afraid that it will be painful. With your level of power, excruciatingly so. Are you ready?"

Ichigo closed his eyes and then nodded very minutely, careful not to jerk his neck too much in case it caused the wire to cut through it too soon. Urahara carefully gathered his own reiatsu protectively around his body, knowing full well that if he didn't do so, he would be crushed, before he grasped the ends tightly and gave a sharp tug. The wire sliced cleanly through, like a sharp blade cutting through water.

For a single, silent moment, nothing happened as the collar fell to the ground, the gem that had been imbedded in it dulling from a glowing silvery-blue hue to opaque gray as it lost its hold over the reiatsu it had been sealing.

And then like a rushing waterfall, all the suppressed reiatsu slammed into Ichigo's body, his eyes shooting open and glowing almost a pure white color as his own power ruthlessly assaulted him, every single bit of it fighting to get back inside him even as it felt like his body was going to tear apart from the shear force of it. Something was holding him down, preventing him from hurting himself, and he thrashed wildly in an attempt to get free, to claw at his burning skin and get at the surging power shooting through his blood.

He vaguely heard a scream beyond the roaring in his eardrums.

He never realized it was his.

* * *

><p>Grimmjow winced as reiatsu lashed across his skin, violent and powerful though still somehow warm, a perfect representation of the shinigami it belonged to. It wasn't exactly painful but it wasn't comfortable either. It weighed down upon him much like how bastard-sama's had just... somehow minus the oppressive nature.<p>

The tendrils of power were so heavy in fact that he wondered if the shinigami's reiatsu had _grown_ after being suppressed for so long or if the brat had been holding back on him during their fights all along. He could feel his hollow instincts demanding that he destroy the source of the power or at least get some distance between them but he pushed it down, for once ignoring the instincts that had guided him for so long.

There were several reasons why he couldn't leave even if he wanted to. The purple-haired woman lounging on a cushion shaped like a weird bunny thing was one. The fact that he had no other place to go was another. His promise to protect Ichigo was there too but he pretended he was upholding it only because Starrk had made it sound like a challenge.

But the main reason, and the one he most adamantly denied being true, was because he could hear the pained cries from the other room and the harsh slamming of limbs on thankfully cushioned tatami floor. He blamed this on the fact that he wasn't the one causing the suffering and not because he was genuinely affected by the pitiful harsh screams mixed with choked sobs that made it sound as if the brat was being strangled and crushed slowly to death by a merciless mallet at the same time .

It didn't help that a little voice inside his head that was suspiciously reminiscent of a certain little green-haired menace said it was because he had actually grown fond of the shinigami.

"Relax kitty."

The affronting nickname that made him bristle every time he heard it in addition to the amused husky voice with an undertone of worry made Grimmjow look over to where Yoruichi sat in the most unwomanly posture he had ever seen- and that was saying something considering he was a hollow and hollows weren't known for their etiquette. Narrowing his electric blue orbs, he let the insulting nickname slide in favor of muttering, "I ain't worried."

Releasing an indelicate snort, Yoruichi glanced over at the wall adjoining the room they occupied with Ichigo's and said in a rather strangely sure manner, "Kisuke's with him. As long he's there, he won't let Ichigo die." Her liquid gold eyes were soft, almost fond, before they sharpened again as she changed the subject in an instant. "So. Aizen lied to him."

Going along with the abrupt change since the relationship between two shinigamis he didn't know was hardly any of his concern, Grimmjow growled lowly as he replied, "Yeah. Bastard-sama had all of us fooled, not just the shinigami brat." His hand strayed to Pantera, a reflexive motion that came about whenever he was pissed or wanted to kill someone. And at the moment, bastard-sama was pretty high up on his list.

Scratch that, he was number one. Ulquiorra had been the one he wanted to kill most but bastard-sama had beat him to the punch. Another reason why he should slice off his former lord's head.

Long, slim fingers tapping the bottom of her coco-colored chin contemplatively, Yoruichi crossed her legs from where she was slouched on a chappy cushion and murmured, "Aizen's always been a good actor. But Kisuke isn't one to fall for an act he himself could do. What he saw when Aizen talked to him must have been genuine or he would never have believed him."

Grimmjow scoffed and made to stand up, jaw clenching slightly in pain when his action pulled on his bandaged wound but otherwise fine. Grabbing his shirt which had been laying on the floor beside him, he tossed it over his shoulder and replied, "The primera espada had one of the keenest eyes I've ever seen and he still got duped along with the rest of us." Beginning to walk towards the door, he turned back slightly and said bluntly, "Think whatever the hell you want of your man's abilities, bastard-sama will always be just a bit better."

Plump lips pursed together in a displeased frown but Grimmjow couldn't tell if it was because of his rude comment or the fact that he had called the shopkeeper her lover. Or it may even be the fact that he was leaving without 'doctor's' approval. Honestly, he didn't really care. He was restless from just waiting around and now that Ichigo's voice had died down enough that he wasn't worried about the kid dying anytime soon, he was itching to get his own training done.

But faster than he could blink, a hand had grabbed his arm and yanked him back, sending him crashing back onto his futon in a tangled mess of blankets and curses as he quickly orientated himself and sat up, glaring venomously at Yoruichi who, just as quickly as she had thrown him, was now sitting back down.

"The fuck was that for you bitch?"

Thick, long lashes fluttering closed as she leaned back on her cushion, she drawled back lazily, "Sorry kitty but you gotta stay in this room for a little while longer before we let you go to the basement to play." Why he would want to go to a shitty basement of all places to train, he didn't quite know but Grimmjow was more annoyed about not knowing why he couldn't leave. "If you're worried that I'm gonna break something or some stupid reason like that, I'm going to kick your ass."

"Ha, in your dreams kitty. You're a hundred years to early to send this ol' lady rolling in the dust."

Growling, he was about to retort something nasty and crude but her voice cut him off, not a hint of joking or laughter in her tone this time which was the only reason why he listened.

"Wait. There's gonna be visitors soon and if they see you, they ain't gonna be happy."

Cocking a thin blue eyebrow, Grimmjow recognized the message behind her words as he demanded, "Ya think I can't handle a couple shinigamis?" Golden orbs met his sapphire ones as she replied, "It won't just be shinigami. Dealing with them is easy enough, it's the others that are a bit more difficult to handle." Raising a finger, she pointed to beyond the closed door of their room and indicated for him to listen.

Glaring at her somewhat warily, Grimmjow sat silently and listened for any noises.

It wasn't long before he sensed several reiatsus approaching the shop, some that he recognized and some that he didn't, before there was a loud commotion out at the front. Loud voices that were rising to near hysteria were demanding to be let in but out of all of them, Grimmjow's ears honed in on one.

"Let me see my goddamn Ichi-nii before I break your balls Jinta!"

The savage, raw voice belonged to one of Ichigo's sisters, that much he was sure of if her affectionate nickname was anything to go by. And judging by the way she talked, it was probably the one that bore greater resemblances to the shinigami, according to the stories he had been forced to listen to about them.

Tough, harsh, and not afraid to cuss or threaten to get what she wanted.

She had spunk for a little human girl, he'd give her that.

Tessai's booming voice was calming her now, speaking soothingly though if her reiatsu was anything to go by, she was far from relaxed. Other voices got mixed in but were hushed and judging by those reiatsus, he figured they were Ichigo's human friends. Two he recognized from the fail invasion of Hueco Mundo a long while back. The last one was one he didn't recognize but it felt distinctly female. Those three reiatsus didn't move but Tessai's and the little sister's did. Hurried footsteps flashed by their room, unaware of the two occupying it due to the barrier still surrounding it as they made their way to Ichigo's now quiet room.

Grimmjow understood what Yoruichi had meant. If the girl was here, then that meant she was spiritually aware or else she wouldn't have known he was back and if she saw him, one of the enemies who had separated her from her brother, then things would get awkward at best. And Ichigo didn't need the added stress of placating his sister so that she didn't try to do something foolish against him that could result in her getting hurt.

Scowling grumpily, Grimmjow resigned himself to spending a little while longer in the large but somewhat suffocating room as he waited out the reunion between Ichigo and the people he had been separated from.

* * *

><p>Ichigo swallowed large gulps of water from the cup Urahara gave him when the last of his spasms from regaining his power ended. That had to have been one of the most brutally painful experiences he had ever had to suffer through though if he had to be honest, a masochistic and angsty part of him had thought it was a suitable punishment to at least make up for Nel's death. Hers had been drawn out and cruel and he wished she had just stayed wherever Aizen had left her, injured and bleeding, and used her drool to heal herself instead of dragging her body through the long hallways of Las Noches to be by his side.<p>

Lids fluttering closed over tired eyes, Ichigo tried to ignore the throbbing sensation in his head from all the stress he was going through. But when the door flew open with a loud bang that nearly made him wince and his startled brown orbs met disbelieving, penetrating dark grey eyes, all thoughts flew out of his head as he tried to remember how to breathe.

There were no words exchanged between him and Karin. Neither of them were very good at verbally expressing their thoughts and the events that had transpired since his kidnapping from the Human World were far too unreal and far too complex for his younger sister to understand. But apparently, what she needed wasn't an explanation.

In a scant few seconds, she had flung herself across the distance separating them at him and buried her face into his shoulder as she clung to him so desperately, so childishly; and with the soft broken cries of "Ichi-nii" and "You're alive," all combined with quiet sobs, he immediately felt another stinging pang of guilt in his chest for having been the cause of her behavior.

Karin never, _never_ showed such emotional weakness, not unless she was incredibly frightened, worried, or sad. The fact that she may have been all of these up until now only made him feel worse. He had failed her as an older brother and the way she clung to him and cried -something that she hadn't done since their mom had died- only emphasized this fact.

Holding her close, he murmured apologies over and over again to her, all the while feeling his stomach churning at the thought of how Yuzu had been dealing with his disappearance if Karin was this upset. When he had seen them the night of Rangiku's funeral, he had thought they had been dealing with his absent presence the same way they had dealt with his usual extended periods of leaving but Karin's reaction was far more drastic than anything ever before.

He hated how he had put her through this much pain without realizing it.

Karin's muffled sobs were slowly quieting and then she slumped in his arms, alarming him slightly though he relaxed just a bit when he realized she had worn herself to sleep. Drops of water were still sliding down her cheeks and there were heavy bags under her eyes, as if she hadn't slept for days. Karin had always been more sensitive to him and she must have known that his disappearance hadn't been normal, that there was something behind his unexplained absence that was dangerous and threatened his life and she must have been worried sick.

Her small body should have never been forced to carry the burden of worrying about her older brother's life. She should have been playing soccer with her friends, kicking the goat-face when he was being too stupid, taking care of Yuzu when no one else was around, scowling when people were around but smiling slightly whenever something good happened. The fact she hadn't been doing any of this since he vanished left a terrible feeling of guilt in him like no other.

He wrapped her up in his blanket and then gently set her down on his futon before looking back to the entranceway. He hadn't heard them enter but he had recognized Ishida and Chado's reiatsus almost instantly and he silently thanked them for having stayed out of the room until Karin's breakdown ended. But then he sensed the one reiatsu he had been dreading other than his sisters' and he felt his headache come back at the thought of confronting Tatsuki.

Rubbing a hand tiredly over his face, he sluggishly got to his feet, ignoring Urahara's offered hand to assist him as he got proper control over his legs before walking out of the room to greet the rest of his visitors.

* * *

><p>Ishida and Chado looked relieved though the former did a masterful job of concealing most of it, and Tatsuki looked so unbelievably happy to see him that he instantly knew he was going to be the reason why her bright eyes would soon be clouded by pain and rage.<p>

He motioned for them to follow him to the back of Urahara's shop so that they wouldn't disturb his sister. He didn't notice how sagged his shoulders were or how sluggishly his feet slid against the wooden floor of the hallway and so even when they were in the room with plush cushions surrounding the low table in the center of the room, he didn't sit down, choosing instead to lean against the wall while the other sat.

Tessai brought them tea but then wisely left the room. He seemed to understand that things would probably get ugly and had no desire to interfere with something that was clearly very personal for the parties involved and that was going to become something extremely unpleasant.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Ichigo refused the cup handed to him by Chado and then glanced over to Ishida when the thin quincy spoke up, his frank tone and calm composure surprisingly soothing in its familiarity. He had thought he would never like the holier than thou attitude Ishida constantly had. Now, he appreciated it more than ever before. It grounded him and helped him slip back into his usual self.

"You look like you got hit one too many times by a menos grande with your awful posture but it's good to see you're still breathing Kurosaki."

Scowl weaker than he would have liked but never one to back down from rebutting an insult even in his weary state, Ichigo countered lightly, "Not all of us have been spending every night shoving sticks up our asses in order to be more 'proper' Ishida." Oh but what a lie that one was. He'd had a stick up his ass only just last night -had it really been such a short time ago?- and it had been one very fine stick though it hardly did anything to make him better at the moment.

Funny enough, it was his retort that seemed to reassure Ishida the most about his state of being as his sort of rival, sort of friend eased up his tensed shoulders -that had escaped his notice earlier- and proceeded to sip his tea unperturbedly.

Chado said nothing but his reiatsu conveyed all his feelings about Ichigo being there safely with them and the big man seemed to somehow know there were several things upsetting him because he said in his quiet voice, "Yuzu has been distraught over your absence but I played with her and Karin to try to distract them. It didn't work very well for Karin but Yuzu seemed to calm down more."

Gratitude didn't even begin to describe the emotion welling in Ichigo as he nodded mutely at the friendly giant. Karin's breakdown had been hard enough to handle- it was reassuring to know that Yuzu's would hopefully be less intense. Dealing with his sisters and their personalities while trying to keep them out of his shinigami life was hard enough as it was- he didn't want to have to comfort them over something he had caused.

One final question lingered in the air and it was the one he wanted to avoid the most. But when Tatsuki's hopeful voice spoke up, he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer.

"Ichigo, where's Orihime? She came back with you right?"

Closing his eyes in resignation, Ichigo tried to think of the kindest way of dealing a fatal blow to a friendship he greatly cherished. There wasn't really one, not that he expected much. There was never really a kind way of telling someone a person they cared deeply for was dead and gone. Hands tightening into fists at his side, he carefully avoided Tatsuki's face as he said quietly, "She's not here."

A choking silence filled the room. He still couldn't bring himself to look at Tatsuki, at any of them for that matter. He didn't want to see the disbelief and dawning pain on their faces. He could barely stand his own. But Tatsuki seemed determined not to accept what his words implied as she said almost pleadingly, "What do you mean Ichigo? Of course she did. You guys disappeared at the same time so... so if you're back then she is too right?"

He wanted to tell her to stop, to beg her not to ask anymore but his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth, preventing the right words from coming out. He didn't know what to do other than repeat himself like a broken record, repeating the same horrible words with the hopes that maybe she would understand and just stop making him say things he didn't want to say.

"She's not here Tatsuki. Orihime won't- she won't ever be here. Not anymore."

Oh god just let him die now. Telling his sister he was home and safe and alive was difficult. Telling his best friend since childhood that her female best friend was a cold, dead corpse who would never smile at her again was a whole other matter.

He'd rather fight Byakuya or even Kenpachi as an amateur reaper again than go through this.

Ishida and Chado had been silent, were still mercifully silent, but Tatsuki was far from taking this in quietly, from accepting something that was rapidly becoming a hellish reality she didn't want to face. Her voice rose angrily as she slammed the table harshly and knocked her tea cup over, the steaming pale yellow liquid spilling out of it and forming a trail of tea across the table's surface as she snapped harshly, "Goddammit Ichigo quit playing around! Just tell me where-"

"Orihime's dead."

Even to him, his voice sounded lifeless. Devoid of emotion, devoid of volume or shape. They were just words he had uttered, words that were intangible to touch and yet so very real. Words that, despite their barely existent state, elicited a powerful reaction.

He didn't dodge the punch that slammed into his left cheek; didn't react when that same fist, joined by another, grabbed the front of his yukata and shook him harshly, almost banging his throbbing head against the wall had it not been for the two teenage males who swiftly latched onto the enraged Tatsuki and forcefully pulled her away.

Ishida and Chado had spared him from any physical pain. But the verbal and emotional wounds inflicted by Tatsuki's next words were something that not even Unohana's power could ever heal.

"You bastard! You just let her die? You just let her suffer and then had the fucking gall to come back with barely a scratch? What the _hell_ were you doing? Why the fuck is she dead and you-" Tears were running down her face, the only things that betrayed the anguish she felt behind her violent fury as she struggled against the strong grips restraining her and hissed scathingly, "She should have been the one standing there."

_That_ caused a reaction from him.

Ichigo felt his own pain turn into senseless anger as he opened his eyes and glared at her before he snapped back equally harshly, "So she could be the one suffering from overwhelming guilt? You would really want her to be the one here, continuously killing herself over the fact that someone lost their life for her sake just to satisfy yourself? Don't give me that righteous bullshit Tatsuki."

Nostrils flaring at the jab, dark emotions that turned into poisonous words erupted from her as she jerked against her restraints and shouted furiously, "You should have protected her!" Even if it was unreasonable to think he could have fought against Aizen and Tousen and the espadas with his power and still gotten them both out safely. Carrying blame for Orihime's death was something Ichigo could do but to hear accusations stream from someone who didn't understand, who had no clue about what he was going through, what he felt, who he even _was_ because he most certainly wasn't the scowling tough teenager Tatsuki knew from school... that made him lash out in a way he never wanted, in a way that he instantly regretted.

"At least I fucking tried to protect her! Where were _you_ when she needed you?" His words were cruel, born from a need to inflict pain, and it worked. Depressingly and destructively so.

Hurt flashed briefly in Tatsuki's eyes before it disappeared and turned into cold anger. They had both stepped beyond a line that shouldn't have been crossed and it hurt so much to know that right now, he was willingly pushing someone away when he couldn't afford the loss but the cornered part of him demanded to fight back, to not let her trample over the palpable guilt that clawed away at him.

Because even if she was hurting, Tatsuki had no right to wish the feeling of being torn apart from the inside out on anyone, especially not on Orihime.

Being dead and gone was terrible to all who knew the deceased but none more so than the one who was the indirect cause of the death.

And then to go on and rant about all the things he already knew and already felt guilty for when she didn't know anything was uncalled for.

Even if she was probably in shock and didn't mean half the words she said. Even if it had been his choice to not tell her things about his shinigami duties despite the fat that they were childhood friends. Even if in the end, once again, everything was his fault and he had managed to destroy another person emotionally.

Tatsuki yanked her arms out of Ishida's and Chado's hands before stalking to the exit. She paused and for a moment, her bristling shoulders slumped and she suddenly looked so sad and so lonely that he almost had half a mind to reach out for her, to try to salvage what he already knew was lost.

But then she straightened up and her tone when she spoke was like ice, frostier than even the coldest winter as she said quietly, "We're done. Don't ever come near me again or I will kick your ass until you can never stand up again." Her next words shot a lance through his heart- sharp, piercing, and so very cruel.

"I want nothing to do with the bastard who might as well have murdered my best friend."

And then she was gone and once again, another person important to him had slipped through his fingers like water and he was left feeling more hollow than ever before. The two remaining people in the room seemed unsure of what to do but when Chado's warm, large hand reached for his shoulder, he whispered, "Don't."

He didn't deserve kindness, not after what he had said to someone who had been already beaten down. Aizen may have been a bastard but Ichigo was just as bad, if not worse. The asshole could dictate which people he hurt and which people he led around with a leash and collar.

The only thing he could do was hurt people no matter what he tried.

The air was heavy, so very heavy that it felt like he was being crushed by it. But then, as if he understood what he needed wasn't compassion and sweet words or gestures, Ishida called his name in a less snarky but nonetheless firm voice, "Kurosaki."

He grunted softly to show he was listening. The bespectacled man seemed to accept that as good enough as he continued, "You have training to do right? We'll explain to your sisters and the shinigamis the best that we can so just... just focus on your own thing. Got it?"

We. Ishida, Chado, Urahara, Yoruichi, Rukia and probably Renji since they were trusted... he still had people who supported him, who needed him just as much as he needed them. They were his shell, providing him a temporary means of shelter until he got his stupid act together.

He needed to transform his pain into determination, his anger into power. He couldn't allow them to become a whirlpool that sucked him down into an unshakable depression that would undoubtedly leave him useless and weak.

It was far from healing. It was probably very damaging in the long run. But it was an escape. An escape he desperately needed right now because if he didn't take it, he would collapse and never stand up again. And that was just unacceptable.

Grimmjow was as safe as he could be. Tatsuki was beyond his reach but at least that meant she was also safe. Goat-face was probably somewhere, being the usual dork that he was but away from mortal danger, Kon the same as him. His sisters would be taken care of, the shinigamis spoken to. He had nothing left that needed to be taken care of here.

Ichigo moved past his two friends and muttered, "Tell Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san that I'm training. I'll see them at the front-lines of the battle." Two hands, one large and the other slimmer, gripped each of his shoulders as Ishida said simply, "_We_ will meet at the front-lines." His tone left no room for argument. So even though all Ichigo wanted to do was tell them to stay at home, safe and away from battle, he bit his lip and held it in because that would be unfair of him.

Ishida and Chado had just as much of a reason to want to fight as he did. He had no right to deny them from avenging Orihime.

He nodded and they let go, allowing him to walk through the hallway. He paused to look at Karin one last time, mentally apologizing to her for leaving her once more, unknowing and lost in the dark of all the secrets he was hiding from her and many others, before he left the shop.

No one stopped him.

Standing outside on dirt ground and small pebbles, he closed his eyes and let his reiatsu envelop him, coarse power surging through his limbs and tingling them with traces of potent power. No matter how much time had passed since he felt his reiatsu, he lapsed into the comforting and shaky control over it that he would always remember no matter what. His white yukata vanished, replaced by the standard shinigami clothes that were at once, both familiar and foreign. The instant he was properly clothed, he crouched down low before launching himself into the air, wind whistling past his ears and, for a moment, allowing him to think of nothing else but his destination.

Shinji and the other vaizards were waiting for him. And he was more than willing to answer their silent summons.

* * *

><p>Dark clouds loomed ominously in the distance and Karin sighed quietly as she watched with forlorn but resigned eyes as her brother's body vanished into the air like mist, as if he had never actually existed and their reunion had been nothing but a sweet, sad dream. She didn't want him to go again, didn't want to see him with a look of such profound pain in his eyes any more. And more than anything else, she wanted him to stop fighting, to stay at home with her and Yuzu until this nightmare that had ensnared her brother was gone and he became the scowling but content Ichi-nii that she knew. Her insides churned with anxiety and she felt sick from fear and trepidation but there was nothing she could do. She was so utterly helpless.<p>

Pulling her knees to her chest, she buried her face behind them as she whimpered out softly, pleadingly, "Don't go Ichi-nii. Don't leave me behind somewhere I can't ever reach you again." Because he was, and she was afraid, absolutely terrified that the next time she saw him, he would be a shell. An empty shell full of cracks that with a single touch, would shatter into pieces and be gone forever.

Her Ichi-nii was strong. But even the strongest had a breaking point and it was scary to think that he was nearing it. It was painfully frustrating to know that she could do nothing to stop it.

Cold wind blew against the windows, rattling the glass. There was a storm coming. A blizzard of catastrophic levels that would bury life beneath frozen layers of nothingness. The red splatters of blood would contrast disgustingly beautifully against the gentle flakes of pure white snow. Three and a half days until the war began and time continued to tick away the seconds approaching the beginning of the end.

* * *

><p>AN: Oh some super cruel part of me liked this chapter. The angst was hard to convey in the powerful manner I wanted and I hope that I pulled it off ^^ Hope the light humor between Grimmy and Yoruichi made the emotional stuff afterwards a little easier to handle. I purposefully left out interactions with shinigamis because as close as Rukia and Renji were to Orihime, I don't think they would have given the emotional responses that humans can give. Ishida and Chado actually came out as a bit more robotic than I would have liked but I think Tatsuki more than made up for them (I hope).

Reviews are love so keep 'em coming~


	27. The War: Crumbling Bonds

_There was a storm coming. A blizzard of catastrophic levels that would bury life beneath frozen layers of nothingness. The red splatters of blood would contrast disgustingly beautifully against the gentle flakes of pure white snow. Three and a half days until the war began and time continued to tick away the seconds approaching the beginning of the end._

_Three days later..._

Aizen sat on his throne, for once not really focusing on anything in particular despite how close it was getting to the approaching battle, his fingers absently rubbing the slim silver ring hanging around his neck. He could feel the warm flickers of the strong but gentle black reiatsu inside the ring's gem and at that moment and many others before it, he wished for nothing more than to have the owner of said reiatsu at his side or better yet, in his arms once more.

But that was a wish born from an impossible dream.

There was no happy ending waiting for him, no miracle that would bring Ichigo back into his life. He had made absolute certainty of that with his own hands. And in a mere scant hours, he would enter the stage for the final act of this distasteful tragedy that fate or some other nasty being had orchestrated. But he refused to let it end in a way that was beyond his control. Only he would provide the finale and it would be a finale suitable to him.

No matter what, the ending he intended for would be the one carried out.

_Sad, gray eyes gazed imploringly at him, a quiet plea spilling from quivering lips._

_"Please Aizen-san. Promise me."_

He closed his eyes briefly and then allowed his reiatsu to flare up, summoning his espada to him. His plans had proceeded smoothly up until this point. He had set everything up so perfectly, so carefully, that at the moment, the only thing that could possibly interfere with anything was his own feelings.

_Different gray eyes stared solemnly at him, their owner once again surprising him with the amount of emotion in them as a deep voice murmured, "Is this the only way?"_

But that was a small concern. He was, after all, a master over his emotions. He would not let them get in his way simply because he wanted to be selfish. More selfish than he already was planning on being at any rate.

_Little cherub hands grasped his hakama tightly. Large hazel eyes were pinned on him with childish and yet somehow mature intensity. _

_"Aizen-thama pwease..."_

Several white-clad individuals flit into the room, each bowing briefly as they took their places before him and he swiftly cut off any other thoughts except for his plan. Distractions would prove fatal beyond this point and he couldn't afford to make any mistakes. Pleasant smile fixed to his face, Aizen looked at them and said serenely, "Welcome everyone. I realize that this is not our usual place for meetings however we will be needing the extra space that the throne room provides."

Surveying the curious faces of his strongest fighters in the dim lighting, he knew that there would be some displeasure with his decisions for the battle but his orders were absolute and they would obey because to do otherwise would mean challenging those who were loyal to him. And he had been careful in making sure that the strongest were the most loyal. Yes, they were all independent and treated each other like tools no doubt, but they were also tied by the hierarchy created by their strong abilities. They would keep each other in check and ensure his orders were carried out regardless of their preferences.

Especially that one particular espada.

Straightening up, his smile ever present, he told them their orders for the war. His calculative mind analyzed every aspect of his plan even as he vocalized it, ensuring that there was no room for errors in it and he was grimly satisfied when he found none.

_"Promise me... promise_ us_..._"

Yes, this war would end only in the way he wanted.

_"That no matter what, you will protect him."_

Because it was the only way he could protect his beloved Ichigo.

* * *

><p>The shinigamis were ready.<p>

Through intense technological application and advanced intellectual planning by the research department, a fake Karakura Town had been created. This world -fabricated by threads of data, special mechanisms, and hours of dedicated and sleepless time- would be where the final battle took place. Only the captains and vice captains or shinigamis of those levels would be fighting Aizen, Tousen, and the espadas. The rest of the lower ranked shinigamis would deal with arrancars, menos grande, and anything else Aizen threw at them.

This would be the burial ground for either Aizen, themselves, or both. And they were prepared for any of the possible outcomes.

Muted tension hung in the air like cobwebs, sticking to everything and ensnaring them in its delicate but tenacious hold. No one had spoken a word since final orders were issued. They were waiting. Waiting for the enemy to appear and for the chaos to begin

A noise to their right had several of the lower shingamis grabbing for their zanpakutos fearfully while their superiors turned sharp gazes in the direction, kido spells of all sorts resting on their tongues and reiatsu gathering for an attack. But everyone eased up a bit when it turned out to only be familiar faces.

Familiar faces that were largely unexpected and not entirely welcome.

"Ishida? Chado?" Rukia asked cautiously, brows furrowing together in mild confusion. "How did you get here?"

The quincy looked quite displeased as he sneered briefly at some of the shinigamis who were wary of his presence before he replied testily, "A certain irritating shopkeeper said that he needed to pick up someone and told us to go on ahead. He said our presences would probably be appreciated though as I suspected, that doesn't seem to be the case."

Picking up on the jab, some of the shinigamis looked quite affronted but it was the soutaicho's deep voice that spoke up authoritatively and perhaps, had the circumstances been different, kindly.

"This is not your war."

If either male was intimidated by the elderly commander, neither showed it. Ishida pushed his glasses up and stated just as firmly, "You're a bit mistaken Yamamoto-soutaicho. This war _wasn't_ ours. But Aizen has made this personal and so now it is." His glasses flashed briefly as he pushed them up so that they rested more comfortably on the bridge of his nose. Defiance and challenge raged beneath the cool composure his eyes contained.

"We have as much of a right to fight as you do. So with all due respect, please back off."

Only Rukia and Renji really knew what he was talking about -about Orihime and the grievous sorrow Aizen had inflicted upon Ichigo after a thorough talking to with Urahara- and the red-headed lieutenant was trying to convey this to them via some strange gestures. But he was pointedly ignored as a steady staring match ensued between the quincy survivor and the shinigami's head commander, a clash of wills to make one side back down.

There was never a clear victor.

Because precisely at that moment, a garganta ripped through the cloudy sky and opened its yawning mouth to reveal pitch black darkness. It was soon joined by several other rips, each tearing open only these ones contained several powerful figures, single individuals standing out even among the white clumps of what they presumed to be fracciones. The espada's reiatsus were a sight to behold, refined coils of power that made each one seem even more intimidating than what their titles as the strongest hollows conveyed.

But none were as dangerous as the man who stepped out of the black emptiness of the first portal, his blank smile and equally emotionless eyes sending chills down their spines as he elegantly brushed imaginary stray locks of brown hair from his face. He was followed by a familiar dark-skinned man with dreadlocks and Sagi cast a sympathetic look at Hisagi as his lieutenant sucked in his breath sharply at the sight of his former taicho.

Hinamori hadn't done anything as she gazed upon her former idol with muted pain but her expression quickly morphed into determination and though there was a wetness in her eyes, her reiatsu remained steady and unwavering. Her delicate hands didn't hesitate as they flew to the handle of her beloved Tobiume. It was a relieving sight for those who had questioned whether she had the strength to fight against the man she had adamantly refused to believe had defected. Asco nodded his head ever so slightly as a sign of approval before he too directed his attention to their enemies.

There was no exchange of pleasantries. There was no need to. No one had come with any intention other than to fight to the bitter end.

Ishida and Chado stood tall and proud amidst the fierce reiatsu pressing down from both sides, their own power lashing with deep anger and cool resolve. Rukia took a small breath, soothing any rattling nerves the rising tension had caused before her violet gaze briefly met Renji's rustic eyes. He gave her a small encouraging grin which she managed to return before she steeled herself and glared at the man who had hurt not only her but the two humans she cherished deeply.

It was too late to do anything for Orihime but Rukia refused to let Aizen destroy Ichigo anymore than he already had. She tried to shake the grim feeling that it was already too late.

A burst of reiatsu from the soutaicho and Aizen crashed down around them, shinigami, human, and hollow alike.

And thus, the Winter War began.

* * *

><p>Blond hair swayed in the chill wind as piano-like teeth formed a grim smile. Hefting his sheathed blade over his shoulder, Hirako Shinji looked at his fellow vaizards with narrow eyes. "Ya ready to crash the party guys?" A kick to his shin had him kneeling over and whining in mock pain as Hiyori, in all her fun sized glory, fiercely shouted, "Stop trying to look so cool ya idiot! Whose fault is it that we're gonna be late in the first place, huh?"<p>

"Did ya need ta kick my delicate shin with yer iron club t' tell me that?"

"What was that ya useless bum!"

"Ya heard me midget!"

The rest of the vaizards had adopted looks of disinterest by this point at the usual banter between the two blondes and were now checking to make sure their weapons were ready while Hachi lowered the barrier around their temporary home. There would be no need for birds to crash into invisible walls anymore. Chances were, they would need to change locations after the war anyway.

"Baldy!"

"Shrimp!"

"Ugly baldy!"

"Ugly Shrimp!"

"Why you-!"

The doors of the now visible warehouse suddenly slammed open and Ichigo came out. He hadn't slept since leaving Urahara's shop aside from 'naps' that had occurred only because someone knocked him out but all traces of tiredness were gone. Reiatsu crackled around his lithe frame, dark and pulsing, as he nodded to Shinji and said crisply, "Thanks for giving me more time Shinji. I'm ready now."

To the incredibly perceptive former captain, Ichigo looked far from ready. His rigorous training had indeed effectively powered him up, especially after a certain blue-haired espada had dropped in on them a day after Ichigo came, apparently having been sent by Urahara. The only reason they had allowed him in to train was because Ichigo had demanded it and since then, they had engaged in intense, violent battles that typically resulted in lots of healing on Hachi's part.

They never asked questions. It wasn't their business. Ichigo had wanted the espada to train with him and they had complied. No one in their family was denied whatever they needed in order to train. It was their unspoken rule. That was all.

But as hardcore as the training was and as strong as he made himself out to be, Ichigo wasn't ready. And Shinji didn't think he would ever be ready. There weren't enough years in a human life to prepare him for the war. He was too young. Too uncorrupted by blood and death. Too pure for something like what he was about to do in order to save the shinigami bastards that didn't deserve his sacrifices.

Ichigo had told Shinji the night he came back to their hideout, told him everything including the relationship he had formed with his former lieutenant. And as weirded out as he had been, Shinji had recognized the desperate look of need for advice, for consultation, for reassurance, for anything in vividly emotional chocolate orbs.

The only thing he had been able to give the kid was a good long battle that had knocked him out cold for a restful couple hours. Heart to heart talks weren't his forte, weren't really any long-dead person's forte. They had long since learned to discard emotions that were detrimental or useless to their personal goals and to sever ties with others as easily as if they had always been mere acquaintances. That was what it meant to be a shinigami. And as much as they detested the people who had rejected them the moment they were hollowfied, they were still partly shinigami. That was something they had accepted that would never change.

The only reason why things would be any different for them now would be because of interactions with Ichigo. Ichigo who valued his important persons so deeply. Ichigo who had reminded them of what it meant to care for another, to protect the things that were precious above all else. He was what Masaki must have been to an awed Isshin- a beacon of absolute life. As a human, Ichigo possessed qualities they had forgotten, morals and beliefs he regarded as his true guides through his fleeting life.

And it was this precious human side of Ichigo that made him so terribly fragile.

He was strong yes, undeniably so. Possibly even stronger than Shinji himself if he trained more and if they were only sparring. But power was never enough on its own. And it worried Shinji that Ichigo's current superficial strength carried the risk of not lasting the war. He could handle seeing the young vaizard getting his ass handed to him by an enemy. Hell, he could handle seeing the kid lose complete control and go on a hollowfied rampage that decimated everything in its destructive path.

But he didn't think he'd be able to handle seeing a broken Ichigo. He didn't think anyone who had been touched by the deep inner strength the kid naturally possessed would be handle it.

The espada, Grimmjow who they had come to actually like if only because his crude demeanor matched theirs quite well, came out as well. Deep blue eyes cast one glance at Ichigo before he smacked the orange-haired boy on the back of the head lightly. Grinning at the annoyed scowl that instantly ensued, he said in his deep throaty voice that Lisa had once compared to a professional porn star's, "Don't look so weak shinigami. If ya can't swing the bat, don't bother steppin' up to the plate."

Black reiatsu pressed down on him, heavy and determined. "I don't need you to tell me that Grimmjow." Honey brown eyes tinged with dangerous gold pinned him with a demanding glare. "Don't interfere." The blunette didn't need much elaboration on what Ichigo meant. He was far from being one to roll over and obey someone's orders but Ichigo's words were as much of a command as they were a plea.

And after relentless bullying and teasing from the other vaizards, he had reluctantly admitted -only to himself- that he was thoroughly whipped by the brat. He blamed Nel and Lilynette for that.

Ichigo had turned back to look at Shinji again and the former captain knew what he was going to say from the conflicted expression on his face before he opened his mouth. Clapping a hand onto his shoulder, Shinji smirked and said, "We're not doin' this just 'cause yer fightin' Ichigo. We got a bone to pick with Aizen too so stop worryin' about us. You focus on what yer fightin' for an' we'll focus on what we're fightin' for. Got it?"

A bit of the tension in Ichigo drained away and he gave him a slightly strained small smile as he nodded. Shinji was fully aware that he had pretty much lied about half of what he'd said since their resentment towards Aizen had cooled and that at the moment, the majority of their hate was directed at the shinigamis -more specifically, the new Central 46 that they still hadn't told Ichigo about now that he thought about it. But Ichigo didn't need a third party pulling him in another different direction in the mess he was pretty much at the center of.

That would really cause some irreparable damage that Shinji had no desire to inflict.

Looking at the young man whom he'd grown so fond of over a short period of time, Shinji grinned humorlessly and asked, "Ready to go crash the party and save some shinigami butt?"

He got a faint twitch of lips from Ichigo before the younger vaizard nodded, grim determination settling over him once more as the reality of their situation loomed over them more oppressively than ever before.

But as much as he wanted to, he wouldn't run away.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>Aizen knew the instant Ichigo had entered the fray even as he parried a rather straightforward and weak attack from Urahara. The man had entered the battle along with Yoruichi a scant half hour over ago looking surprisingly angry. While the Shihouin princess had headed off to assist a couple struggling lieutenants against someone's fraccion -Szayel's by the looks of it- the shopkeeper had headed straight for him, politely requesting the three new captains he had been fighting to step down.<p>

It was technically forbidden to do anything that could potentially hinder the immediate and quick defeat of an enemy they were desperate to finish off however much to Aizen's hidden surprise and to Urahara's gratitude, they had agreed but warned him that the minute they finished assisting anyone who needed it, they would return and Urahara would have to back off and let them resume what they had started.

Once they were gone, Urahara had said in the most blasé tone that contradicted his still somewhat angry expression, "You, Aizen Sousuke, are an incredibly foolish man." And then he had had the gall of not saying anything else afterwards, only attacking him with fierce but predictable moves. His angry expression still hadn't disappeared so Aizen figured the shopkeeper wasn't angry -at least, not completely- at him and he wondered what had riled the normally easygoing man so much.

Judging by the faint traces of reiatsu that clung to Urahara's knuckles as their blades met once more in a direct clash, Aizen had a feeling it had something to do with a certain ex-shinigami who was probably hiding more secrets from his son than himself and Urahara combined and whose absence was still duly noted.

Really, it was a wonder how Ichigo was such a straightforward and honest person when all the people he was close to were liars to the core.

And as they both paused to look to where a group of masked individuals were standing, one dressed completely in black that his gaze instantly zeroed in on, he hoped Ichigo never lost that openness he possessed. Though seeing the sorrowful emptiness in now golden orbs, he wondered if it was too late.

But it was impossible to salvage anything at this point.

All the actors were now present and it would only be a matter of time before the last act was performed. It was taxing, keeping up this farce he had so carefully erected, and if he continued to drag it out any longer, everything would fall apart.

The hyougoku hidden beneath his robes warmed slightly, and Aizen closed his eyes. He regretted nothing except causing the one person who had loved him wholeheartedly unbearable pain. His wish had been granted though not quite in the way he had expected, and he was eternally grateful to the little ball. If it had never existed, everything up until now may have never happened.

If it had never existed, he would still be alone, sitting on his throne of enormous power beyond the reach of others.

If it had never existed, he would have never met Ichigo and he would have never known about this bittersweet love that warmed his entire being.

Two bursting reiatsus joined Urahara's and Aizen slowly opened his eyes to see that Hirako Shinji and Ichigo were now standing before him, their blades drawn and masks disguising whatever they were thinking or feeling beneath their bony surfaces.

Shinji's familiar drawl rippled out, distorted and strangely pitched due to his mask. "Well ain't this a sight fer sore eyes. Miss me Sou-chan?" Thinly veiling his distaste towards the nickname, he replied pleasantly, "I can't say I haven't been enjoying a bit of free time not spent on finishing a certain lazy captain's paperwork."

The blond vaizard placed a hand over his heart dramatically as though mortally wounded, but Aizen's gaze remained fixated on Ichigo who still hadn't spoken. He had expected words of anger and betrayal. He had expected accusations or demands of why. He had even been prepared for strings of expletives or a punch to the face. He wasn't sure if he preferred this sort of stoic silence from the normally very expressive teen. It felt too defeated, too resigned to losing another person he cared for and while he felt a small bubble of happiness that Ichigo was probably still somehow attached to him, it hurt him to know that Ichigo would be left forever wondering why he had betrayed him.

Because Aizen couldn't tell him, couldn't force his terribly young lover to feel threatened by even the shinigamis when he was dealing with so much turmoil already. If Ichigo felt he couldn't even trust the people he was fighting his former love for, then he would surely break. And Aizen would rather crack him than see him completely shatter.

He wasn't sure if his actions would be considered kind or just plain cruel.

* * *

><p>Ichigo didn't speak. He didn't dare to. He was worried that if he spoke directly to the man before him, he would lose all the composure and determination he had been working up until now. But dammit if, despite everything he had done, he still wanted to touch the bastard known as Aizen Sousuke.<p>

He hated how strong his feelings were for him, how they were strong enough to push against the bitterness he felt after his confrontation with Tatsuki that was all caused by this man. And the asshole looked so calm, like he was completely unaffected from the sight of the person he shared his body with on the opposite side of their mini battlefield.

But Ichigo had to focus.

He could hear the sounds of battle behind him, could feel the desperation of everyone as their fights moved from fighting for a cause to fighting for survival. There was no time to hesitate, no time for him to wallow in his personal misery while his nakama struggled.

Shinji attacked first, a huge cero fired from his mouth followed immediately by the black wave of Ichigo's getsugo tensho. Neither paused to wait and see if their attacks landed. Shooting forward, Shinji's blade met Aizen's with a loud clang and a burst of overwhelming reiatsu. A red beam courtesy of Benihime swept towards them but Aizen easily pushed away from Shinji and dodged the attack, neatly bringing his sword up to prevent Ichigo's from decapitating him.

The instant their blades connected, their reiatsus collided with each other and their close proximity only enhanced the two swirling masses as they meshed together like two pieces of a puzzle. Ichigo inhaled sharply- if the feeling of their soul bodies embracing had been unbelievable, the sensations he felt as their reiatsus intermingled was absolutely indescribable. Even Aizen looked surprised, dark brown pools widening ever so slightly as for a moment, everything melted away except for the intense intimacy that they could feel throughout their entire bodies despite not physically touching.

And then, reality set back in with a jarring rush and they tore themselves apart, the distance between them more than just physical as they struggled to suppress a surge of unexpected feelings. Ichigo grit his teeth before sharply swinging his sword out, another crest of black energy surging out.

That had been far too intimate to be comfortable.

Wrestling down his lingering affections for the bastard who emerged from the cloud of debris without a scratch, Ichigo forced memories he didn't want to see to his mind, to revive the hatred and anger he needed to win.

Orihime and Ulquiorra.

Stark and Lilynette.

His bitter fight with Tatsuki.

The betrayal of someone he had been close to being in love with.

Reiatsu coiled around deep inside him, writhing with a fury he didn't know he possessed as Shiro's insanity and strangely angry reiatsu mixed in. He wanted, so very badly, to let the beast within him loose, to forget everything except wreaking carnage upon the lying asshole who had destroyed many things that were precious to him.

He wanted his rage to consume him if only to rid him of the painful sorrow and wretched yearning his heart still felt.

"Getsuga Tensho!"

The blast of energy, far more potent in both strength and darkness, rushed out towards Aizen and when the man neatly side stepped to avoid it, Ichigo slammed his blade against the other's in a series of sparks and ringing metal. There was no tenderness this time as their reiatsus met. Ichigo felt Aizen's reach out to his, almost lovingly, but he violently rejected it and instead, released another wave of black power.

The close proximity of their bodies had left Aizen little time to move out of harm's way but Ichigo, even under his blind rage, knew that the bastard was probably fine. Leaping back to give himself more distance to attack, he prepared himself to rush forward again.

A hand suddenly landed on his shoulder, snapping Ichigo out of his violent, almost frenzied, state. He whipeed his head around and stared at the distant expression of his mentor's face as Urahara warily watched Aizen for any subtle movements, a couple cuts and gashes marring his clothes and face, his signature hat gone, and a serious air around him that had never been so distinctly present before. But otherwise, he appeared no different than his usual calm self.

"Calm down Kurosaki-kun. I know it hurts, that what you're going through would be a lot easier to handle if you just let your hollow take control. But this fight is not just about you. There are others who are going through the same pain you are."

Hisagi's reiatsu soared along with Komamura's a little ways to Urahara's left as they slashed with the intent to kill at the one they once considered an honorable captain and a trustworthy comrade. Tousen attacked with equal ferocity, his milky eyes and thinned lips betraying little else except ruthless determination to cut the duo down. But beneath the heated attacks and hoarse cries and angry retorts, there was a raw sorrow that connected the three and yet tore them further apart.

He knew what they were going through. It made him feel slightly guilty for trying to escape his own pain when others were enduring theirs.

"And remember Kurosaki-kun, there are many who do not wish to see you become something they cannot reach."

Ichigo felt his ominous reiatsu dampen at those last words, shoulders slumping ever so slightly and Urahara loathed the resigned look in his student's eyes. Yes, he had saved the tender teen from turning into a savage beast but in return, he was forcing him to endure emotional wounds that were only getting wider and deeper as the battle dragged on.

Shinji landed beside them in a small gust of air, blond locks stained red by a head wound but the vaizard otherwise fine as he said petulantly, "Oh sure, leave poor Shin-sama to do all th' work while you guys chat in the sidelines. Don't upset me one bit."

Urahara silently thanked the former captain as Ichigo resumed some of his former aloof self, standing straighter and muttering, "Could use a bit of exercise Shinji. It's not like you do much other than eat and fight with Hiyori."

Ignoring the resulting wails of injustice and cold-heartedness and then Urahara's light teasing comments, Ichigo let the familiarity of his two mentors wash over him. He would be a liar if he said that the presence of the normally goofy blondes was insignificant. They gave him the grounding support he needed as he fixed his gaze once more on the man he once called precious.

For all the time spent wasted on Ichigo's indecisiveness and internal struggle, Aizen had made little move to attack them seriously and it was unnerving to say the least. _'Why isn't he using any illusions?'_ Ichigo mentally questioned, _'What is this bastard planning?'_

He couldn't see what lay beyond the frozen impassive wall of the bastard's composure, couldn't identify the things he used to be able to so easily. Ichigo opened his mouth, a question formed on his tongue though he wasn't quite sure what it was he meant to ask, with the reiatsus of the three unfamiliar but captain-level people descending upon them.

Urahara looked disaapointed.

Shinji looked mildly irritated.

Ichigo stepped forward slightly -whether to ask his question or to attack he wasn't entirely sure- when a blinding light abruptly erupted all around them, encompassing each and every battle in its white and seemingly limitless depths.

And then, when the light dimmed down and he could see again, Ichigo found himself alone, standing on a rooftop in a now completely empty Karakura Town.

* * *

><p>AN: Wow sorry about the delay. I meant to get this done before I left for my vacation but once again, my plan failed and so here this chapter is, several weeks later than anticipated and, unfortunately, shorter than previous chapters.

I glossed over a lot of what should have been many more fight scenes since my primary focus was not bloodshed and pow-wow violence but the emotions behind everything primarily between Aizen and Ichigo. Hope it worked and if not, it will be something I will try to improve.

Many thanks to all of you for the reviews and support and keep 'em coming~ You know us writers love 'em! The next chapter is more than halfway completed so it should be up soon so I hope it will somewhat make up for the long wait for this chapter.


	28. Time of Dying: True Love's Confession

Ichigo blinked in confusion. He was sure that just a second ago, he had been charging at the lying bastard whose name he didn't even want to think about and everyone had been fighting hollows of all levels around him. Hell, he'd just been listening to Urahara-san and Shinji bicker on either side of him. And now... now it was eerily silent and he was alone, standing on a rooftop in the fake Karakura Town and looking around for any other signs of life. Empty buildings, dim street lights, a quietness that was almost suffocating... and not a single other soul in sight save himself.

This couldn't be the bastard's shikai, he had never seen it nor had he even heard the words for it uttered by him. But he was pretty damn sure this wasn't the fake reality Soul Society had create where he had been fighting in and it most definitely wasn't his inner world. So what in all the seven hells was going on?

"You're quite adorable when you look so confused Ichigo."

Whirling around at the painfully familiar voice that both made his heart beat faster and burn with agony, narrowed honey chocolate eyes glared as Aizen seemingly appeared from nowhere, brown wavy hair impeccable as always and pristine white clothes looking as if he hadn't just been fighting mere moments ago.

Clenching his fists, Ichigo became acutely aware that Zangetsu's hilt was not in his hands and that he couldn't hear either of his spirits though there were faint echoes of murmurs somewhere in his mind, telling him that they weren't gone, only separated by something somehow. Keeping his eyes warily fixed on Aizen, Ichigo snapped bitterly, "Don't you dare call me by my name you lying asshole!" There were many other things he would have liked to say but more than anything else, he wanted the bastard to not say his name. Because every time he heard it roll off that sinfully silky tongue so naturally as if it was something meant to be, Ichigo could feel small bits of his resolve slip away like trickles of water leaking through a carefully made but cracking dam.

He had been careful to avoid speaking to the bastard in front of others lest he do something awfully humiliating like crying or making a fool of himself some other way but now that they were, for better or for worse, isolated in some Karakura look-a-like, he could care less about holding himself back. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.

Taking a deep breath and steadying himself, Ichigo demanded warily, "Where the hell are we?" If the cheeky bastard said the fake Karakura, he was going to kick his ass with or without his sword. While the buildings were the same and the cloudy, dark sky still loomed ominously over them, the complete absence of any life except for the two of them meant they weren't where they had been before.

Aizen smiled in amusement, as if he had read his thoughts, before replying pleasantly, "This is an illusion just for the two of us. No one else can see what's happening here and to them, we are still fighting." He took a step forward and Ichigo unconsciously took one back, reluctant to let the distance between them shorten as he said sharply, "Don't fuck with me. I know you didn't use shikai so this can't-"

"Who said this was my shikai?"

Those words spoken in such a succinct and matter-of-fact tone killed whatever else he was about to say. Staring with wide eyes, Ichigo couldn't speak and when he finally found his voice, he could only breathe out weakly, "Wait so this is…" Running a hand through brown locks, Aizen confirmed his suspicions, "Yes this is my bankai. It is more or less the same as my shikai though there are some key differences. For example," and he was suddenly right in front of him, so unbearably close that Ichigo could breathe in his familiar bittersweet scent and feel the warmth radiating from his body and all Ichigo could think about was how _close_ they were as the bastard looked down at him and murmured, "My target does not need to see my sword in order for my bankai to work on them and it's illusory effects are far more... extensive than my shikai. The duration of the illusions is also considerably longer."

That snapped Ichigo out of his momentary stupor, the pain that lanced through his chest was far too unbearable to ignore and surprise quickly morphed into hurt fury. Shoving at Aizen's chest though it didn't exactly do anything, he snarled venomously, "You absolute asshole! So everything really _was_ a lie! Your words, your promises, your feelings… they were all just fucking illusions! You-"

He couldn't bear to look at the bastard, couldn't look at the man he had actually trusted and who had all but shattered his heart into a million pieces. It was one thing to have at least been able to cling to the hope that Aizen hadn't really been lying to him but now… if his bankai really did work on people whether they could see his sword or not and it lasted far longer than his shikai… then it was pretty much safe to assume that since the beginning, nothing had ever been real. Not the kindness he had seen in the other man's eyes, not the feelings behind his sweet words, not even the love that had been whispered from that poisonous mouth when they had laid together in each other's arms mere days ago.

And that, more than anything else, hurt him the most.

He was horrified and ashamed when he could feel a slight stinging in his eyes and squeezed his lids shut, refusing to let himself cry because of this lying bastard. He wouldn't show anymore weaknesses for him to manipulate. He refused to let himself break because of the lies this bastard had ensnared him in and that he had stupidly allowed himself to fall for.

A warm calloused hand reached out and Ichigo flinched when it came to rest on his cheek, the touch so painfully tender that it forced him to slowly look up. The bastard wasn't smiling anymore. If anything, there was something akin to guilt in his eyes as he gazed into wet honey brown pools of pain and hurt and his lips were curved down in a slight frown.

"Ichigo…" He raised a finger to said person's lips when fury flared briefly in his eyes, silencing any protests to the usage of his given name before he continued, "Yes, what we are in is an illusion. But everything that came before, the time you spent in Hueco Mundo with Ms. Inoue, with my espada, with Gin… and with me, all of that was very much real.

A harsh, bitter laugh escaped Ichigo's lips before he could stop it as he bit out viciously, "Save it. I don't need you to feed me more lies. I'm sick of letting myself believe every little story you cook up and I'm sick of letting myself actually believe you! Just go to hell you bas-!"

He was abruptly yanked forward and suddenly, warm, soft lips covered his. He fought to pull back, to jerk away, but the bastard refused to let go and in an illusory world where he was at the disadvantage, he knew he would't be able to break free on his own not that that stopped him from trying his damn hardest.

He shoved, he pushed, he thrashed, and even when he felt his muscles screaming in protest from his frantic struggling, he refused to give up. Or that's what he would have liked to do. But damn it, the familiar gentle kiss was breaking down his resolve, eating away at it like it was made of cotton candy and he could feel the moment when his hands stopped trying to push the bastard away, when they clutched the man's robes instead of shoving at them, and when he started melting into the kiss rather than rejecting it.

He was still so pathetically attracted to the bastard it wasn't even funny.

When Aizen finally broke the kiss off, he made no move to relinquish his hold over Ichigo, keeping his arms where they were, one wrapped tightly around his waist while the other snaked around his shoulders and lay on his back. Lithe frame trembling ever so slightly, Ichigo spoke, his voice tight and thick with emotional turmoil as he asked quietly, "Why? Why are you doing this? Wasn't it enough to kill Orihime and Ulquiorra? Wasn't it enough to take my belief in you and shred it to pieces? Wasn't it enough to wage your stupid war against people I care about? What more do you want from me?" He hated how weak he felt, how tired and defeated he sounded as he tried in vain to keep his emotions in check. This wasn't fair but dammit he couldn't work up the energy to fight back anymore.

He just wanted to curl up somewhere and drown in his misery alone where no one would ever be able to hurt him ever again.

Aizen's fingers threaded into his hair and reluctantly, he felt himself relax at the gentle touch as he leaned his head against the bastard's chest, listening to the rhythmic thumping sound of his steady heartbeat which was oddly soothing even though it was a sound he was supposed to be trying to end permanently. He heard a quiet sigh from above him before the bastard's arms tightened briefly. "I hurt you quite terribly didn't I?" It was a rhetorical question and one Ichigo didn't bother to respond to which seemed to work well enough with Aizen as he continued speaking, "The war was inevitable. Soul Society cannot forgive my actions and I will admit that the idea of simply relinquishing victory to them does not sit well with me." He could sense the there was more to it than that but as usual, Aizen held back. He wondered if this was a sign that Aizen was lying to him again or if there was something he was reluctant to tell him.

He chose to assume the former.

Snorting softly in derision, he muttered bitterly, "As if I'll believe that bull. You said yourself that you never meant to let the war end peacefully. You're just fucking with me again aren't you?"

There was a rustle of fabric before Ichigo felt Aizen's head rest on his, the next words he uttered muffled but loud enough for Ichigo to hear and cause his eyes to widen.

"All I wanted was to protect you."

* * *

><p>It was painful, having Ichigo alone with him beyond the prying and judging eyes of the shinigamis and yet still being so limited in his actions. Aizen wanted to keep the young man trapped in this world forever, to hold him close like this and do so much more without worrying about consequences or reactions. But he couldn't. He couldn't even tell Ichigo anything more than his desire to protect him because doing so would cause understanding from the compassionate young man.<p>

And understanding would cause hesitation. Ichigo could _not_ afford to hesitate, not when he was walking such a fine line in the eyes of the new Central 46 which he still had yet to know about much to Aizen's relief. As long as Ichigo didn't know about other factors involved in the war, he would continue blaming him and thus behaving as a good shinigami should.

So even though it hurt to see the anger flow with renewed vengeance inside Ichigo's beautiful eyes and feel his formerly pliant body tense with rigid fury, Aizen held back the words he really wanted to say. He mutely allowed himself to be pushed harshly away as Ichigo hissed, "Protect? You call what you did protecting?"

Yes, yes he did. Aizen was keeping Ichigo just out of the Central 46's deathly grip and thus, away from bodily harm. But to Ichigo's eyes that he had carefully blindfolded with a ribbon of tightly woven lies, his protection would never be truly seen. Beneath the series of deaths, the war, and his own apparent betrayal, Aizen knew it would be impossible for Ichigo to see reason in his madness unless he told him everything.

But, so long as Ichigo remained safe and alive among the people who would put him before anything else, he didn't care. Because Ichigo's precious and radiant life would always be the one thing Aizen treasured more than his own existence.

Gazing down at the sun-kissed face he loved with all his soul, Aizen hid all his emotions beneath a lid of impressive self-control as he said evenly in response, "Yes." Altering his illusion slightly -he duly noted it was getting more and more difficult to maintain the level of its complex nature even with his god-like reiatsu- he added with a tinge of finality, "And now, all that's left is to finish everything."

Ichigo jerked in surprise when his sword materialized in from of him, the familiar thrum of dark reiatsu from it proving it was really Zangetsu though Aizen knew he would still not be able to hear his zanpakuto's voice very well. While Ichigo's hollow was most likely distracted by built up internal rage, Aizen was worried that the far more mellow sword spirit would recognize that there were missing pieces in his carefully constructed puzzle and would try to prevent his master from behaving rashly.

He needed a rash Ichigo, not a calm and collected Ichigo and so even though it required an immense amount of mental strength and a significant extra dose of reiatsu, Aizen stretched his powers beyond surface reality and into the very core of Ichigo's soul. Never had he ever been forced to use his abilities to such extremes and he was somewhat glad that Ichigo would be the first and last person he would ever use the full extent of his powers on.

Watching as Ichigo wordlessly grasped the hilt without any hesitation, he marveled his beloved's lithe body as it became encased in form-fitting black robes, the tattered ends flaring out as wind blew in violent gusts around him from Ichigo's surge of power. Power that, given enough time and proper training, would soon be able to rival his even if the owner never realized it.

So strong... so majestic... He cursed the pitifully twisted circumstances of their positions that prevented him from being able to embrace and love the one person who stood as his equal.

* * *

><p>It looked like Aizen had let some of the reality of their fight slip in since Ichigo hadn't needed to say anything to transform not that it was very reassuring. He wasn't sure if he could defeat the bastard, not when they were still trapped in his illusion, but at least he could try. He ignored the voice inside of him that cried out against fighting, that still clung to the embrace and kiss that they just had as though those sweet moments actually meant something which he knew didn't. Swinging his black blade up in front of him, he grasped the hilt with both hands, determination and hurt anger brimming in his steady gaze. He would do this. For Orihime and Ulquiorra, for Stark and Lily and Nel, for his friends and family both supernatural and human, and for himself.<p>

He needed to do this.

He had to do this.

Even if a part of him, a large and loud part of him, begged him not to.

The bastard's sword had also appeared out of thin air, now resting in his hands as well as he gracefully slid into a defensive posture, expression revealing nothing except blank tranquility once more. Ichigo refused to think about how that same face had once been warmed by a content smile as they made love because that was treading on dangerous ground that his fragile resolve really couldn't handle at the moment. It had been easier to fight earlier when rage and vengeance were hot in his mind but after their little 'discussion,' he could feel himself losing confidence.

Shaking his head slightly and ridding himself of any more distracting thoughts, he took a steadying breath before raising his sword into the air and slashing it in a furious arc down, releasing a massive wave of black energy. He didn't wait to see if it had hit, it was stupid to ever assume frontal attacks like that would ever work. Instead, he lunged forward because he knew something like that wasn't enough to defeat the bastard. Metal bit into metal as his blade met the bastard's in a clash of sparks, a brutal dance in which emotions were cast aside and all that was left was a pitting of strength against strength.

This was what they should have been doing right when Ichigo realized they were alone, he mentally berated as he pushed harder against the stupidly strong man's defense.

It was ironic and just plain sad that right now, their zanpakutos were making more contact than their masters when just a few days ago, said people had been laying in each other's arms like a pair of blindly in love newlyweds who believed in happily ever after.

Swinging a leg out in some vague hope to knock Aizen down, he instead leapt after the bastard as he jumped gracefully out of the way, shunpo-ing into the air. He felt a twinge of irritation when he realized that Aizen wasn't really fighting back, only occasionally thrusting back forcefully if Ichigo applied more power into his onslaught of attacks and it only continued to further piss him off the more their fight dragged on. "Fight me you asshole!" he shouted as he swung at Aizen again, black energy shooting out at the bastard though Aizen easily dodged it with a graceful leap. Retreating lightly and landing on the roof of another building, Aizen gazed over at Ichigo, watching beads of sweat slide down tan skin as his breath came out in harsh pants, less from actual tiredness and more to do with the emotional strife he was undoubtedly trying to bottle up.

Each time their blades clashed, each time he tried to cut down the man he had possibly fallen in love with, each time he told himself he hated the man and needed to kill him, it felt like he was destroying himself slowly, dealing fatal blows to a portion of his heart that burned with agony and betrayal and leaving him to wonder if he was actually trying to kill himself instead.

When their blades met again, the sharp screech of metal ringing harshly in their ears, Aizen leaned forward and murmured, "I didn't do all this just to fight you." Jerking in startled surprise, Ichigo looked at him in confusion and the older man took the momentary distraction to add more power to his grip, swinging his sword up and knocking Zangetsu out of Ichigo's slightly slackened hands.

Cursing, Ichigo made to go after his sword but Aizen easily grabbed him, shoving him to the ground and pinning him there with his own weight as he gripped both of Ichigo's wrists in one hand and held them above his angered, flushed head while his other hand pressed Kyoka Suigetsu's blade to his neck. For a moment, there was only silence as Aizen hovered over him while Ichigo glared up at him, refusing to let any fear show in his eyes despite the danger their positions presented him.

Ichigo was all too painfully aware of how close their bodies were but the chasm in their shattered relationship made it feel like Aizen was as far away as if he were standing a thousand miles away. Bilnking when he realized Aizen wasn't meeting his eyes, he followed the older man's gaze to his slightly heaving chest where a small piece of silver peeked out shyly from beneath his robe. Heart clenching agonizingly, Ichigo looked away, keeping his gaze firmly fixed to the side as he adamantly refused to acknowledge the fact that despite everything that had happened, he hadn't been strong enough to throw away the stupid ring.

"You kept it."

There was no mockery in Aizen's tone, he was only stating a fact and Ichigo only snorted before muttering sullenly, "Yeah so you can go ahead and laugh at my stupid sentimentality." The blade pressed against his neck fell away and Ichigo felt fingers dance across his collarbone before dipping into his robe and gently pulling out the chain which the ring was attached to, the small gift glimmering in the light majestically, Aizen's violet reiatsu swirling in the small crystal on it. Glancing down at the body beneath him, Aizen asked softly, "Why would I laugh when I still have mine?"

And Ichigo wanted so very badly to believe that Aizen genuinely meant those words. At the same time, he desperately hoped the bastard was lying because he wasn't sure he would be able to kill the man if he still retained a part of the Sousuke that he had cared for.

He could break free. Aizen was distracted and he was only being held down with one hand and the other man's body which was only a bit bigger than his. It would only take a burst of reiatsu and a hard shove to make some distance between them and then they could go back to trying to kill each other in this world where it seemed only the two of them existed.

But he didn't,

He couldn't.

Especially not when Aizen released his ring and used his hand to pull out an identical one hidden in his white robes, black reiatsu swirling in the little crystal that matched the one on his. His breath caught and Ichigo had to swallow past a lump lodged in his throat as his gaze inadvertently fixed itself on the ring. "Wh- I don't understand you… you keep doing all these things that hurt me and then… and then you do something like this-"

He could feel his control slipping and he fervently clung to whatever self-preservation and dignity he still possessed as he stared up in helpless bafflement at the man who refused to either fully reject him or embrace him. Ichigo just didn't know what to think anymore.

Aizen's expression was unreadable but his tone when he spoke was as affectionate as when they had laid in each other's arms in what felt like so long ago. "I meant it when I said I only wanted to protect you Ichigo." Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against Ichigo's in a light brushing movement as he closed his eyes and murmured, "But I can't do that without hurting you."

And then he was sitting up, his blade raised, and Ichigo only stared with wide, disbelieving eyes before the blade plunged down, piercing his chest just below where the ring rested.

* * *

><p>He had lost momentary control.<p>

It was a mistake to get so close to Ichigo when he was fully aware that he was already testing his tenuous self-preservation. But dammit, when Aizen saw the small piece of jewelry that still tied them together and kept their love alive hanging around Ichigo's neck, he couldn't refrain from pulling out his own matching ring. It was as much of a reminder of precious moments as it was a tangible representation of what they had meant to each other, of what they _still_ meant to each other.

He could see the confusion in Ichigo, the perplexed thoughts in the vaizard's head as he tried to understand Aizen's contradicting actions. He just wished he could convey everything he wanted to say without actually speaking. But Aizen knew there were limitations even for him. He understood that beyond ripping Ichigo apart from the seams of his soul, he had no other options save for what he had already planned out.

Would it cause Ichigo pain? Yes, inevitably and cruelly so. But he wouldn't break. Crack undoubtedly but he would find the strength to piece himself together enough to continue his life. If there was one thing Aizen knew about his terribly young lover, it was that he possessed an inner power that very few if any could ever hope to obtain.

He touched his forehead to Ichigo's.

So many things to say but not enough words, time, and emotions to express them. Love didn't seem a strong enough word to represent his feelings toward Ichigo. There was something far more profound, something that touched his soul in a way that not even his zanpakuto could and it was so incredibly precious that there was nothing that he wouldn't do to protect this one special person.

He wouldn't let Central 46 destroy the purity in Ichigo's soul. He wouldn't let them chain him down in their prison of haughty superiority where a single whimsical decision could end Ichigo's life. Instead, he would burden Ichigo with the title of a hero. Because being worshipped and idolized and carrying stained hands for the 'greater good' was far better than being watched with suspicion and malevolence.

_'My strong protector. My beautiful, strong, and so very cursed protector. If fate insists on shouldering you with the lives of people from three different worlds, then I shall protect you with every bit of my power no matter what. Despise me, hate me, curse my selfishness..._

_Just know that I love you, more than anyone else in all the worlds of the universe combined.'_

* * *

><p>It didn't hurt.<p>

That was the first thing that registered in Ichigo's head as he felt Aizen's sword pierce him.

It was actually sort of like when Rukia had stabbed him in order to transfer her power to him.

And he felt a cold, sinking feeling coil in his stomach when he felt something enter him, a faint cry echoing in his mind before it slipped away and joined the other murmurs in the dark recesses of his conscious where his spirits were still trapped. Aizen pulled his sword out of him, not even a speck of blood dotting the blade, as he smiled forlornly and said softly, "Take care of her Ichigo. I don't want her to be destroyed because of my actions." He stood, releasing Ichigo from his hold and backing away as Ichigo slowly got to his feet, looking completely and utterly lost.

"You…"

His sword was suddenly back in his hands, as if Aizen had never knocked it away and he realized with a jolt that their roles were reversed: now he was the one with a sword, Aizen's nowhere in sight. Now he was the one who wielded the decision of life and death and Aizen was the one who would be victim to his choice. The white clad man slowly approached him and Ichigo fought with everything he had to not back away. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. And he didn't want to do it.

Aizen's voice was soft but clear as he murmured, "This war -and this illusion- won't end unless someone dies Ichigo. You're a clever man, I'm sure you've figured out who. You're the only one I trust to do this right."

_No. _

He shook his head furiously, hands trembling slightly though he kept his sword raised. He felt nauseous and sick and it was a wonder that his sword didn't slip from his clammy hands.

"I'm not Rangiku-san."

Aizen smiled. "I know. You're much stronger than she was. And you are far stronger than me." He was now only a foot away from the tip of the blade and Ichigo felt the tremors in his hand muscles increase.

_No. Not this._

"You're being selfish."

Another serene smile but it looked more like defeat and resignation than anything and Ichigo hated it. Aizen wasn't Gin. Aizen wasn't the same defeated man Gin had been. He was more than that. He had to be. But even as he thought this, Ichigo knew he was wrong deep down. Aizen's voice was so calm, so tranquil even as he walked closer to what they both recognized as his impending doom. It was the voice of a man who was prepared to die.

"It is the weakest people who are the most selfish Ichigo. And it is the strongest who bear the burden of being compassionate and selfless." Another couple steps and Aizen's chest was pressed against the blade, the sharp tip resting directly over where his heart was.

_Please, anything but this._

"I can't…"

But both of them knew that was a lie. Aizen merely smiled gently. "It's never a matter of whether you can or can't Ichigo. You have to and thus you shall." He didn't move and for a moment, Ichigo foolishly allowed himself to think that Aizen wouldn't do what he clearly intended to do. His hands steadied slightly and he was just about to lower his sword when-

"Ichigo... I love you."

And then, Aizen's arms were wrapped around Ichigo, Zangetsu's blade jutting out of his back. The black metal was stained with viscous crimson and Ichigo watched with petrified fascination as drops of the red liquid slid down the length of his blade and down onto the cool cement roof they were standing on. The only thing he could hear was the thudding of his own heart in his chest, the despaired wail in the far recesses of his mind, and the lingering echoes of Aizen's words. Blood was slowly spreading like some sort of infectious disease from where his zanpakuto punctured skin and large splotches of it were beginning to stain his trembling hands red.

Cracks began forming around them, signifying the slow disintegration of the powerful illusion but Ichigo paid no heed to this, only stared blankly behind Aizen as they slowly sank to the ground, a pool of blood beginning to form around them.

"A-Aizen…?"

He heard a weak chuckle that quickly morphed into a bloody cough. "Be patient… Ichigo. Once I die… the illusion… will fade… and you will… be free…"

But this wasn't what he wanted. Clutching white robes that were growing a horribly delicate pink at the bottom where the blood was beginning to dye them, Ichigo choked out desperately, "You- you can't die! You haven't… haven't told me anything…"

Aizen smiled though it was slightly pained, a trickle of red liquid spilling out of the corner of his mouth as he murmured weakly, "And that... is for the best... I do not wish... to torment you... any more... than I already... have."

He couldn't process things fast enough. Hurt, confusion, emptiness; everything was flashing through his mind too quickly and it felt like the world was spinning at a dizzying speed. He wanted to say something but he couldn't form the words and it was Aizen who broke the almost tragically peaceful silence as the illusory world continued to collapse around them.

"Will you… call me… by my name… one last… time… Ichigo?"

He shook his head furiously, voice shaking as he cried desperately, "Use the Hyougoku, _please_! It- it grants you a wish right? So-"

His pleading died away at the barely existent chuckle from Aizen as his lover mumbled through bloody lips, "It… can only… grant… my truest wish… Ichigo… And that… has already… been granted…"

Further away, several buildings were disintegrating so much like the rapidly depleting time Aizen had left but the man still managed to shakily touch Ichigo's cheek with his cooling fingers, eyes beginning to cloud over as he whispered softly words that were meant for Ichigo's ears alone.

"I… met you… and fell… in love… And you… gave me… precious memories… of a love… I have… always… want… ed…"

The hand on his cheek was slowly becoming colder and colder but Sousuke resolutely held it there, as if the few seconds of life he had left were meant to maintain contact with Ichigo for as long as possible.

"Thank… you… Ich… i… go…"

A large rupture cracked the sky above them and all the surrounding buildings were crumbling away but all Ichigo could focus on was the man who lay dying in his arms.

"S- Sousuke."

And like a dam, all the emotions he had been trying to force back spilled over, melting into each other and rolling down his cheeks as slow drops of tears from his heart and leaving behind only anguished desperation as he tried to cling to the last bit of life this man, no, his lover had left. The selfish man smiled in contentment as he said so faintly it was only because Ichigo had buried his face into his shoulder that he heard him. "You… cried… for… me…" Th sheer gladness in his voice made the tears come harder as Ichigo clutched him closer to him.

"Sousuke…"

He couldn't breathe. Sousuke wasn't responding. Sousuke wasn't saying anything. Sousuke... was _dying_.

"Sousuke…"

He could barely hear the heartbeat he had heard so strongly only mere moments ago. And it was only getting fainter and fainter.

"Sousuke…"

There was an overwhelming feeling of loss, an aching in his chest that transcended the pain he had experienced when his mother died. His lover's arms were no longer touching him, instead they lay lifelessly at his sides as he supported the dying man's body with his own.

"_Sousuke_!'

A humongous crack could be heard and then the illusory world completely shattered and Ichigo found himself back in the real world, everything about the decaying dream world erased and replaced by the sounds of battle and raging reiatsus except for the man who lay clutched in his desperate arms.

He was still crying but he could feel his emotions dying like withered flowers as the tears slowed to an occasional trickle, empty and dull honey brown eyes looking down at his lover whose blood was now coating both of them.

His tears suddenly stopped and it was at that moment that Ichigo knew that that strong heartbeat was completely gone, that Aizen Sousuke truly and honestly was no longer a part of the living. And it was also that precise moment when he painfully realized that he had not been able to say those three little words he now knew in his heart to be true.

As if everyone had heard the complete destruction of the part in his heart where Sousuke had been, all battles ceased as attention was directed to where Ichigo sat, staring blankly at nothing, with Aizen's body slumped against his, a bloody sword protruding from his body.

There was a brief moment of disbelieving silence before the hollows burst into action. Gargantas were opened in a hasty attempt to flee while all the espadas abruptly vanished into thin air, not a trace of them remaining as though they had never been real in the first place. Orders were shouted as shinigamis dealt the final blows to the fleeing hollows and tried to hunt down the missing espada while others hurried to help tend to the injured.

But all Ichigo could see was a small smile and lots and lots of blood.

A hand gently touched Ichigo's shoulders and it took a moment before blank honey brown orbs met the worried violet ones of Rukia who had a couple injuries but nothing life-threatening. Beside her, Renji was bleeding from a nasty gash on his head and his arm looked like it had suffered a particularly ugly encounter with a hollow's blade but he too seemed less concerned about his injuries and more worried about their orange-haired friend.

"Ichigo? Are you… are you okay?" Rukia asked quietly.

No, he wasn't. He had his lover's blood staining every inch of his body and soul, he could hear the soft cries of who he now recognized as Kyoka Suigetsu somewhere in his mind as she mourned the loss of her master, and above all, there was a gaping hole in his chest that no hollow hole could ever hope to match in emptiness.

He had killed Aizen Sousuke.

He had also killed something deep inside him that he knew would never heal.

Meeting her gaze again, he somehow mustered up the strength to give her something that was supposed to be a smile but came out as a defeated look as he replied quietly, "I killed him." The two shinigamis exchanged worried glances before Renji said cautiously, "Uh yeah, we got that part. But that's not what Rukia asked berry."

When the insufferable nickname didn't even garner an irritated twitch, they got even more worried. Ichigo looked away but they didn't need to see the heaviness in his eyes to hear the enormous amount of pain straining his voice as he murmured emptily, "I'm fine."

Small arms suddenly wrapped around him and he blinked when Rukia's voice, thick with regret, whispered next to his ear, "I'm sorry Ichigo. This was our war but we made you, a sixteen year old human, the head executioner. We gave you… such an awful task…" Her small frame was trembling, he could feel it from where she was pressed against his back, her small delicate hands curled around his bankai robes, and he knew she really meant her apology. Squeezing one of her hands, he replied softly, "It's okay Rukia." It really was- he didn't care if he had to fight to the death to protect his friends. What she was apologizing for was something he could forgive, something he never really held against anyone in the first place. The one he couldn't forgive was himself for killing one of the people he should have tried harder to protect.

The chain around his neck was so terribly heavy, the ring burning with a scorching heat against his chest. He wanted, so very much, to reach up and claw it off, to throw it away somewhere where he would never be able to find it again so that he would have one less thing chaining him down from moving forward.

But he couldn't.

The ring was one of the last reminders he had of fleeting memories and of Sousuke. The only thing aside from the spirit that was weeping in his mind that proved Sousuke had existed. Because something told him that Soul Society would all but burn everything and anything that had to do with the traitor except for his division.

Rukia and Renji looked like they were about to extract Sousuke's body from him but then he heard them move closer together behind him, as if shielding him, as Renji said sharply, "I, Abarai Renji, fukutaicho of the sixth division, have verified that the traitor Aizen Sousuke is dead. Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo successfully eliminated him but he requires time to compose himself."

A male voice, unfamiliar, said gently, "At ease Abarai-fukutaicho. No need t' be so formal, I think we're all a bit too tired t' try an' keep up fronts. Does the young substitute shinigami require any medical attention?" Rukia replied this time, her voice seeming relieved at the understanding of the captain as she said gratefully, "The blood seems to mostly be Aizen Sousuke's Sagi-taicho. He may need to stop by Unohana-taicho for a brief check-up but I believe he is overall, physically unharmed." The man hummed his approval before saying kindly, "If ya need any help, just give a shout. I'm sure there are plenty of people who will come flyin' at the ready." Murmuring their gratitude, Ichigo heard the man leave but several others approaching.

The clatter of clogs hitting the surface of the roof and a pair of skinny legs belonging to the leader of the vaizards alerted him to the two people he really needed right now. "Urahara-san… Shinji…" The former carefully pried the dead body out of his limp arms, sliding Zangetsu out of Ichigo's lover as he clicked his tongue softly and murmured, "You're getting yourself covered with blood Kurosaki-kun." Suddenly seeing the red staining the front of his robes, huge splatters of crimson liquid that also covered his hands, Ichigo had to resist the urge to throw up as his hands started shaking, twitching violently as his eyes widened and his breathing quickened.

Blood.

Oh god, so much blood.

And all of it from one man who meant more to him than any other.

Warm, bony hands covered his suddenly as Shinji spoke in a surprisingly soothing manner, "Ichigo calm down. Breathe, ya hear me?" Calloused fingers tilted his chin to look at serious brown eyes and Ichigo almost thought Sousuke was alive again. But Shinji's awful haircut was hard to mistake for anyone else and that fleeting hope was crushed like a shard of glass beneath an iron hammer. Something covered his head and he was about to turn to see who had put what on him in his semi-hysterical confusion and sense of loss but Urahara murmured quietly, "It's just my hat Kurosaki-kun. It's quite a useful thing when one doesn't want anyone to see their face no?"

His tone was light but full of meaning and Ichigo couldn't speak past the gratitude clogging his throat as he felt his eyes well up again with renewed tears.

He could still feel slick cold blood on his hands and clothes but Shinji's warm hands were still on his and it made the feeling just a bit more bearable. The only thing that was really hurting was his heart but he could force that down by drowning in the emptiness that seemed to fill his entire being. Sounds could still be heard all around him as shinigamis tried to approach him, held back by Urahara, Renji, and Rukia but all he could hear and see were memories.

His first personal confrontation with Sousuke by himself, their deals, Orihime, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Starrk, Lilynette, Tousen, Gin, the ring, the night he and Sousuke made love, and then Sousuke's final moments.

When he collapsed into Shinji's startled arms, the last thing he saw was Sousuke's smile and dark crimson blood that stained his murderous hands.

It was only then that snow began to drift down from the for boding clouds, gently and mercilessly touching everything with an icy coldness like death with its beautiful white purity and he faintly wondered if he would ever feel warmth like his sinful love had given him ever again.

* * *

><p>AN: I hope the little snippets of Aizen's personal perspective added to the angst and drama I was gunning for. Let me know if I succeeded or if I only managed to detract from the story~

On another note, I took a few liberties with Aizen's abilities seeing as how our dear Tite Kubo-san has not informed us of his bankai. I tried to make this clear in this chapter but in case it was a bit difficult to figure out:

1. Aizen's bankai does _not_ require visual exposure to work on his targets. The only reason why he didn't use it before he betrayed was because it would be too easy to trick Soul Society with it and he wanted to see how far he could get with shikai alone.

2. His bankai's illusions can last longer than shikai due to his huge reiatsu but in the case of this battle, he was using a supremely complex illusion and so it was a taxing feat even for him to last until his ultimate demise. He avoided using any offensive attacks throughout the battle because that would require using energy that he couldn't afford to waste. The aftereffects of his bankai span for several minutes after his death because when he transferred Kyoka Suigetsu over to Ichigo, Ichigo's immense reiatsu unconsciously supported the illusion for a brief while.

3. Lastly, his illusions are not restricted to a single object (like how in shikai, his sword can only take the form of one thing). He can conjure several illusions of various shapes and forms and he can twist people's perceptions of reality enough for it to seem like nothing has changed or that they are in a separate dimension (i.e. Aizen's and Ichigo's little isolated time that the shinigamis couldn't see).

With his enormous reiatsu combined with the hyougoku, I hope these three effects seem plausible and not too mary-suish. And Aizen's transfer was slightly different from what Rukia did. Rather than send power into him, it was more like Aizen severed his own connection to his zanpakuto before forcing her spirit into Ichigo. So while Ichigo will harbor Kyoka Suigetsu's spirit inside him, since he does not share the same partnership/bond with her, he is not able to utilize her abilities and he never will be able to. He is essentially just housing another spirit inside his funhouse inner world of multiple spirits.

In any case, the next chapter will hopefully wrap things up and if not, I'll extend it into two chapters.

Almost at the end! Bear with me and keep the reviews coming~ I would love any and all feedback/questions although certain things will either be explained in the final chapter or later in the future sequel.


	29. Epilogue: Of Mourning and Surprises

_Someone please tell me... is it more painful to die by the hands of your love who knows nothing? Or is it more painful to live with the blood of your love on your hands, forever wondering what went wrong?_

_Which is worse?_

_Tell me, please..._

* * *

><p><em>"<em>Child..."<em>_

_Ichigo remained sitting curled into a ball, his entire body soaked with icy cold rain. Pitiful couldn't even begin to describe his star of being._

_So lonely. Just like how her master had been as a child. So very, very sad. The sight pulled at her heart, twisting a knife into it even though she could barely endure the loss of half her entire being already. Her master's beloved needed support. Whereas she had lost half her soul, he had lost half his heart. They were both broken but she was the one with thousands of years of experience to help her get through the loss of a partner. This child... had a meager sixteen years. _

_The gentle voice called softly again, her own pain evident even as she attempted to ease his._

"_Dear child... Do not despair. This was my master's choice. Do not blame yourself for something you could do nothing to stop. He wished for your happiness and health. Please do not let his efforts go to waste."_

_Some rational part of him understood what she was saying, that Sousuke had planned everything so that he was the only one to die, indicating that he had wanted Ichigo to live and move on because he believed in his ability to keep going forward. But the part of him that was so _weak_ drowned in misery and self-loathing. _

_Kyoka Suigetsu's slim pale hand reached out to him, her damp shimmering robes decorated with majestic violet flowers swaying in violent gusts of turbulent winds as she hesitated and then retracted her hand._

_They were both silent now, drops of pain and grief pelting them with a ferocity that hurt and yet didn't hurt enough. The building they stood upon was smeared with a crusty brown substance but as the rain continued to pour upon it, it slowly began melting into a crimson liquid that slid over the edges of the building and fell into the black abyss below._

_He was so terribly tormented by her master's death. And as much as she wished to, she could do nothing to erase his agony. She no longer had the power to draw up beautiful dreams to temporarily shield him from his grisly reality. And she no longer had the power to protect the young guardian her master had so dearly loved enough to die for._

_Water that did not belong to the drops falling from the sky slid down her porcelain cheek as she bowed before the two entities that stood behind her new master, their mouths shut but eyes hard._

"_Forgive me."_

_The rain fell harder, almost bruising her skin but she paid little heed to this as she covered her face with her hands and whispered the same words over and over again._

"_Forgive me."_

_A window cracked, joining the many others that had webs of delicate white lines stretched out across obscure glassy surfaces._

"_Forgive me for not stopping my master."_

_The rain continued to poor, an odd red glint in it that made it seem eerily as though it were raining blood._

"_Forgive me..."_

* * *

><p>"How long until he wakes up?"<p>

Unohana closed her eyes briefly before fixing a gentle but stern gaze upon the thirteenth division's soon-to-be-promoted lieutenant as she murmured, "Kuchiki-san, the wounds Kurosaki-kun bears are not something I can heal with my powers. It is up to him to decide when, and perhaps even if, he will awaken."

The elder shinigami hated seeing the look of utter desolation on the younger woman's face. Beside Rukia's small frame, Renji clapped a reassuring hand onto her shoulder and said hoarsely, "He'll wake up Rukia. He just needs some time to pull himself together y'know?" The tired bags under his eyes and his weak grin made it seem like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Nonetheless, Rukia twitched her lips into a meager smile at him before bowing before the healer and stating in a forced calm voice, "I apologize for bothering you Unohana-taicho. It's just... it's been four days. Ichigo he- he's never stayed down like this for so long and... it's just a bit unnerving."

The wise shinigami smiled slightly in understanding. "I know Kuchiki-san. It bothers me as well and I have known our courageous substitute shinigami for far less time than you two. But as it is, we can do nothing except simply wait."

The two nodded before quietly excusing themselves and leaving. It was painful seeing two normally strong-willed and proud shinigamis walking out with shoulders slumped and reiatsus flickering dully. It was a sight she was becoming accustomed to seeing among several shinigamis. They had won the war and yet for many, it seemed to have been a bitter victory despite the fact no one, save the enemy, had died.

Kaname Tousen, upon his own request, had been slain by Komamura-taicho and Hisagi-fukutaicho. He had give no explanations, no apologies for his actions, but there had been a sense of peace around him when his lieutenant's sword cut him down. His death had been mercifully quick and quiet but it had greatly affected the two who had respected him the most.

The two stoic shinigamis were dealing with their loss privately but it was clear that it was taking its toll on them. A very alarmed Kira-fukutaicho had burst into her office the other day with a collapsed Hisagi-fukutaicho in his arms and it had taken only a quick check-up to see that he had over-worked himself on top of dealing with abnormal levels of stress.

On a significantly brighter note, Hinamori-fukutaicho had handled Aizen's end surprisingly well. She had shed only one night's worth of tears in the fourth division before she animatedly began socializing with Hitsugaya-taicho who still had not quite gotten over the loss of his first shinigami friend and lieutenant.

Unfortunately, her improving state was one of very few. Things were in disarray in Seireitei and Unohana knew that it would be quite a while until things settled down again. Central 46 was demanding answers to clarify the details of what had transpired, the divisions were still in battle-ready mode and were thus, frightening the latest wave of new recruits from the academy, and promotions lay ahead in the near future amidst the chaos of paperwork and lingering sadness.

And through it all, their young hero's eyes remained shut, his ears deaf to the concerned voices of the people waiting for him to awaken.

Unohana was not a fool. She knew what someone who went through their first kill behaved like. Entering a coma-like state with reiatsu writhing and twisting as though in great pain to the point that even her own naturally soothing reiatsu did nothing to help was not normal. No, Kurosaki Ichigo was behaving much like Kuchiki Rukia had after she had slain Shiba-fukutaicho many, many years ago. For all that she had claimed and denied, a small part of the Kuchiki clan's princess had felt more than simple admiration for the gallant lieutenant.

And for all the speculation of what had been happening in Hueco Mundo during Kurosaki-kun's absence, Unohana knew only one plausible theory that best explained the current state of the distressed young man.

It made the fact that they had drawn him into their issues that much more tragic.

Resting a smooth hand on his cheek, Unohana murmured, "Kurosaki-kun, please... wake up. Your friends are greatly worried about you. They refuse to rest properly until they have seen that you are well. I know you are hurt, unimaginably so, but there are still people here who love you and whom you care deeply for in turn."

She received no response, not that she had been expecting one in the first place. Sighing softly, the healer stood from the chair beside his bed, exiting the room and closing the door behind her with a quiet thud.

Ichigo continued to sleep.

* * *

><p>"<em>He must wake up."<em>

_An indelicate snort. "Tell me somethin' we don't already know."_

"_They are worried about him hollow."_

_Golden irises surrounded by obsidian black glared at her as his white lips curled into a condescending sneer. "Not enough t' keep 'im outta their shit illusion bitch."_

_As the two spirits hissed and spat at each other like territorial cats, Zangetsu cast a glance at their master and partner who still had not moved from his spot of misery. Thoroughly drenched robes clung to Ichigo's slumped frame and for a moment, Zangetsu could truly see the child his master once, and still in some ways, was._

_The elderly spirit loathed seeing his powerful and strong-willed partner so vulnerable. _

_Gliding silently across a couple chipped buildings away from the squabbling duo who had had the decency to fight out of Ichigo's hearing range, Zangetsu slowed to a stop when he was beside his partner's curled wet form. He hesitated before speaking, assessing what words would most likely be the most beneficial given the situation._

_Anger, betrayal, frustration... they were emotions he could gauge accurately and respond to with ease. Sadness, grief, and loss were unfortunately not quite as simple. __Converting weakness into power was something that anyone could do provided they had enough determination to do so. __Turning such profound grief into strength was something he wasn't sure could even be done properly._

_But he would try. For Ichigo's sake, he would try to guide him back to being the person he once was even if his partner didn't want to. Because no matter the anguish and pain he had to face, Ichigo would always be a protector and to allow him to fall into a pit of weakness and self-pity would be the equivalent of Zangetsu abandoning him._

_And that was something Zangetsu refused to do no matter the consequences._

"_Ichigo."_

_Said person didn't even twitch._

"_Ichigo."_

_Zangetsu felt as if there was another barrier between them, blocking his voice from reaching Ichigo. It was far too similar to how disconnected they had been when Ichigo first obtained his powers. In some ways, it angered Zangetsu. In others, it frightened him._

"Ichigo_."_

_His voice had hardened without his intent but at the very least, Ichigo's shoulders flinched imperceptibly. That meant he was listening. Good._

"_Ichigo how long do you intend to stay like this?"_

_The rain poured down even harder than before._

"_Are you bringing that man back to life while you grieve in here?"_

_Ichigo didn't respond again but Zangetsu knew that was part of it. The building they were on contained some of Ichigo's memories. __Memories of deep brown eyes and warm smiles and ghostly touches that he would never get again. __Memories of crimson red spilling onto the ground and tainting his hands and blade with their rich, cruel color._

_This stash of memories was both a precious container of things lost as well as a curse that punished him by reminding him over and over again why they were gone in the first place._

_It was an intoxicating drug of pleasure and pain that blatantly told Zangetsu that this was something that couldn't continue to go on._

"_So in order to satisfy yourself, you will simply abandon everyone else you hold dear?"_

_That particular statement garnered a noticeable flinch and though he knew his words would be harsh, Zangetsu grimly plowed on._

"_Do their feelings for you truly mean so little to you? While you sit here, wallowing in your misery, they are doing everything in their power to help you. The shinigamis have lied to their superiors, withholding information about the vaizards, the sexta espada, and your powers. Should their lies ever be exposed, more than just your life will be in danger. Will you let their efforts be in vain?"_

_He hated to use the guilt card on someone who was already being eaten away by it but it was the only way to motivate Ichigo. His concern for others would always come before his own desires. That was what made his partner so well-loved. It was also what made his partner suffer so much. __A part of Zangetsu wished Ichigo would be a tad bit more selfish. Selflessness was good but only up to a certain point. Ichigo had long since crossed that line, fighting battles he really should have never needed to fight in but fighting them all the same because he would never turn his back on those he wanted to protect._

_Yes, Ichigo could do with being more selfish. But not in this case. This was something he couldn't be self-indulgent about. Zangetsu could deal with letting his partner grieve for his losses. Sadness was an important and precious emotion, especially for people who were constantly surrounded by death and violence. It made them stronger, made them appreciate the value of those around them which in turn compelled them to get stronger to protect those people._

_What he absolutely could not do was let the grieving destroy Ichigo._

"_Your human friends have been healed and are waiting to return home with you" He hadn't wanted to use his final card but it was the only sure-fire way to get Ichigo to stand. _

"_Your family is waiting for you to return."_

_For a moment, Ichigo was motionless. But slowly, his head lifted from where it had been buried in the crook of his arm on top of his knees. He looked like a mess. Pale, wet, and utterly miserable were the best words to describe his face. But his red-rimmed eyes were the absolute worst. Never had Zangetsu seen such anguished sadness, especially on the face of someone as fortified as Ichigo._

_He could almost feel the sharp daggers crushing and slashing at his heart in the same manner Ichigo probably felt only his partner was undoubtedly feeling far worse. The rain did him no justice. It was highly likely that the torrent lashing down upon them simply could not be strong enough to match the emotions Ichigo felt without destroying his inner world._

_But Ichigo couldn't be coddled. Zangetsu knew the difference between helping someone and simply offering them pretty words that meant little to nothing. His partner didn't need a pity party. He needed his guidance, as his partner and mentor, to pull him back to his feet._

_Zangetsu offered an aged and wrinkled hand._

_He would always pull Ichigo back up, no matter what was weighing him down. Because he cared far too much to let go of the hand that reluctantly reached up and grasped his._

* * *

><p>Two days later...<p>

Urahara sipped a cup of tea, momentarily reveling in the delicious taste that could only be found in Ukitake's private garden. Beside him, Yoruichi was downing riceball after riceball as though she hadn't eaten in days. Both were sprawled on wooden chairs supplied by the fourth division looking for all the world as if they had just returned from a drinking session though they had yet to drink even a sip of alcohol.

Despite the playful couple's antics, their attention was fixed on Ichigo who, to the joy of friends and the private relief of many others, had awoken yesterday. If any of Ichigo's visitors had been caught off guard by the weariness and emotional pain reflected in every part of his body, they wisely hadn't mentioned it, choosing instead to repeatedly ask him how he was feeling or regaling him with words of gratitude and praise. There were even shinigamis he didn't know, fresh recruits from the academy who were desperate to see the hero of the battle against the evil Aizen Sousuke. The tired young man had dealt with several visitors before Unohana had scared them all away to let the poor vaizard get some more rest.

Urahara and Yoruichi had visited briefly then but they had booked the entire afternoon today in order to have a clearly needed conversation with their student that they hadn't had the time to have the other day.

"Ya sure know how to worry all o' us enough to turn us into a bunch o' panickin' headless chickens Ichigo."

Yoruichi's rich, silky voice elicited what was probably supposed to be a small smile that looked more like a very subtle twitch of Ichigo's lips.

"Sorry."

She waved his apology off, a coco-colored hand ruffling his orange locks affectionately despite his slight scowl of displeasure as she said lightly, "Y'know I was just teasin'." Her cat-like golden eyes stared intently at him as she then asked, "You holdin' up okay?" She knew he wasn't okay, that he was from being okay, but she did want to know if he was handling everything as best as he could. Ichigo broke away from her gaze, choosing to look down at his lap where his hands were idly playing with his blanket. Pausing, he shuddered a bit before hastily stuffing them under the warm linen as he muttered, "I don't need to be stuck in bed anymore."

They both knew that wasn't what she meant and his actions told them more than enough that his healing process was shaky at best. Yoruichi pursed her lips together but didn't push the issue. Instead, she glanced at Urahara before leaning in closer and murmuring quietly, "Shinji wanted us to pass on a message to ya."

Pleased that she had his eyes meeting hers again albeit warily, she continued, "He's sorry he couldn't be here to help ya through this but we're lucky enough as it is that the captains left their involvement in the battle out o' their report. He said not to worry 'bout the kitty. They took 'im in an' they promised to keep 'im potty-trained since you won't be able to." Ichigo's smile managed to at least look like a grimace this time. It was a minor improvement from the slight twitch of lips they had been getting since yesterday.

"Shinji also says to take care o' yourself and that even if ya don't see each other again, yer still a part o' their family."

Finally, Ichigo graced them with something that bore the greatest resemblance to a tiny smile but it was soon gone, disappearing as quickly as if it had never existed in the first place. It was slightly disheartening to say the least.

They sat in a semi-uncomfortable silence for a while. Ichigo had withdrawn into himself again, his gaze resolutely fixed on anywhere but where his hands were hidden until he finally settled with looking outside his window at the lines of rooftops of Seireitei's buildings. He could see shinigamis running back and forth, responding to or shouting out orders and though it was chaotic, there was an underlying feeling of lightness and socialness.

The sight was both familiar and yet foreign. He had spent the past few days and nights reliving his private affair with his lover beneath the dark skies of the empty and lifeless world of Hueco Mundo that seeing the much more lively Seireitei was a bit unnerving.

He missed Sousuke's calm attitude and composure already.

"What did they do with So- with his body?"

His barely audible inquiry was answered by Urahara, his sudden change in wording going unmentioned. "His sword was confiscated by Soifon-taicho's division where they're trying -with minimal luck- to figure out why his zanpakuto is no different than an ordinary katana." The shopkeepers sounded mildly intrigued by this but then said in complete seriousness, "His body is being held in the twelfth division's barracks however Mayuri-san has been strictly forbidden from even so much as looking at his body."

His reassurance relieved some of the tension that had stiffened Ichigo's shoulders. Swallowing past the guilt that still threatened to strangle him, Ichigo looked at his mentor with conflicting eyes as he asked hesitantly, "Can I...?" The shopkeeper hated the crestfallen look on his face when he shook his head and replied, "Unfortunately, only the soutaicho and members of the Central 46 are allowed into his holding room."

Jaw clenching for a moment, Ichigo looked back out the window as he asked in a tight voice, "Why didn't you tell me about the new Central 46?" He missed the slightly embarrassed expressions on the two exiled shinigamis' faces as Yoruichi said apologetically, "Honestly Ichigo, it slipped our minds. When the kitty brought ya to the shop, we were more concerned about healin' ya an' seein' if you were willin' to fight in the war still. Then you disappeared to train with the vaizards and we got occupied with explainin' things to some people and deflectin' the attention of the rest. An' then the war rolled around and we were fighting' an' then we were gonna let the three new captains take over the fight for a while so e could pull you over to talk, see if we could somehow salvage the situation even at that point, but Aizen pulled that illusion stunt o' his an' before we knew it, everything' was over."

She stared intently at him, eyes and voice attempting to communicate the absolute truth of her words as she said, "I know those just sound like excuses but we really didn't mean to hide their existence from ya."

He was obviously still somewhat angry but most of his heat had disappeared at her admission. For the two craftiest shinigamis he knew to have forgotten something so important meant that they had been really distressed by his condition and then by fabricating reasons behind his absent presence to the shinigamis, and then from fighting for the same people who had so easily discarded them many years ago. It was hard to stay mad at people who, at the time, only had his best interests and concern for those involved in the war in mind.

But still...

He just didn't understand why things had gone the way they did. Yes, the new Central 46 was undoubtedly the same prejudiced and idiotic morons its predecessor was and Sousuke had probably only meant to protect him an their secret affair from their judging glares but...

Why the extreme measures he had taken?

Why kill people he cared about just to make him hate him?

Why make him want to kill him at all?

Why did one of them have to live and the other perish?

Ichigo hated how, in the end, he still didn't understand Sousuke as well as he felt he should have. It felt like he was betraying the man in some way and he wished, more than ever before, that he had done something differently. Or at the very least, somehow get a better grasp of who his lover had been.

"Kurosaki-kun."

Snapping out of his thoughts and struggling to focus on the shopkeeper when he said his name, Ichigo was surprised when the other man scooted closer and conspiratorially slipped a small indigo book onto his lap. It was old and slightly frayed with a thin layer of dust sticking to parts of it. Looking at it with muddle befuddlement, Ichigo hesitantly pulled his hands out from beneath his covers to lift the slim book up.

"Thanks I guess but... what is it Urahara-san?"

He made to open it but the enigmatic man stopped him. Smiling secretively, Urahara said, "It's one of the records from Soul Society's special library chambers. Technically, no one but those granted with special permission can go in and absolutely no one is allowed to take something out but well..." His smile became impish with mischief.

"If the intruder is too fast to be seen, then they can't complain. We also may or may not have fiddled with security a tiny bit~"

Ichigo's lips twitched into an amused smile weakly before he frowned again and said pointedly, "But that doesn't really tell me what it is." Yoruichi tapped an elegant coco finger on the book's faded front cover page as she said softly, "Its a record book of notable individuals. Every outstanding shinigami gets put into one of the many volumes they've got stored in there. There is a photo of their face and then a complete listing of the person's accomplishments and abilities along with a brief biography." Her gaze met his, a twinkle in her eyes.

"Every person who's been able to become a captain is inside there. This particular volume contains all thirteen original captains before a certain three deserted."

Eyes widening, Ichigo vaguely felt Urahara's hands guide his into opening the book to one particular page and for a moment, he couldn't breathe. Faintly, he felt Kyoka Suigetsu stir in the recesses of his mind, her unbridled joy seeping into his as they stared down at a painfully precious sight.

There, on the smooth off-white page, was Sousuke. He had those dorky huge glasses on and that awful fake smile plastered to his face and a barely noticeable calculating gleam in his eyes but it was _Sousuke_. Lightly touching the image with his fingertips as though it would shatter if he pressed any harder, words could not even begin to describe Ichigo's gratitude.

This was the only concrete image he had of Sousuke. Hueco Mundo hadn't had any cameras and everything that had transpired made finding a camera the last thing on his mind. He had had only memories and dreams and nightmares to rely on in order to see Sousuke's face.

But not anymore.

Looking back up at his mentors, Ichigo struggled to form the right words but in the end, settled for a pitiful, "Thank you." It felt far too weak, too insignificant, to truly represent the magnitude of his gratitude but the two older shinigamis gave him identical pleased looks. They understood what he was trying to convey.

Looking back down, he traced the familiar contours of Sousuke's face, wishing so very desperately that he could touch the actual thing but finding small satisfaction in just the picture alone. This was as close to Sousuke as he could get aside from the ring dangling from his neck and for now, it was enough.

He read through the description beneath, amused when he noticed the switch from the elegant author's writing to the messy scrawl of Urahara as the shopkeeper had taken the liberty of adding things about Sousuke that Soul Society hadn't known at the time. His writing was far more personal than the detached author and it was strange but not wholly unpleasant to learn about the man he loved through the eyes of another who regarded Sousuke as more of a rival in intellect than anything else.

Emotion was welling up inside him, threatening to become tears but he forced them away. Instead, he took a deep breath and murmured, "I'm not okay. I won't be for a really long time. I can't even look at my hands without seeing his blood on them... but I'll try. That's what this is really about right?"

Urahara feigned hurt, clasping a hand to his chest as though mortally wounded before saying in a sing-song voice, "I have no idea what you mean~" Shaking his head in mild amusement, Ichigo looked at the two exiled shinigamis and wondered briefly if this was what it was like to have parental figures: people who the could talk to about any and all sorts of things without having to worry about being judged. The two were hardly role-model material but they had helped him grow up in ways no one else had and for that, he was eternally grateful. His hands curled around the edges of the book. They said, with careless laughs, to just rip out the pages he wanted so that people wouldn't realize they were down one less record book in their catacombs.

After he had done so and Yoruichi returned the book, he talked to them for a while longer, relaxing in their comforting presences until Unohana slipped in and asked if he wanted to rest. The scary gleam in her eyes stated she had no qualms about 'gently persuading' the two shinigamis to leave if he needed sleep.

As the two grown up shinigamis cowered behind their chairs, Ichigo shook his head and said, "Actually Unohana-san, I was wondering if... if I could go home in a couple days." Shrinking back slightly in case she slipped into scary demon mode to keep him in bed, he blinked in surprise when she simply smiled and said amiably, "If that is what you want Kurosaki-kun, then you may. I believe the Human World may be the best place for you to fully recover. Soul Society unfortunately does not hold many happy memories for you."

Looking at the wise healer, Ichigo shook his head. "That's not true Unohana-san. I'm... really grateful to you guys. There are lots of things that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't met Rukia and then all of you. It's just... I want to see my sisters and my dad again. I wanted to see the others before I go so..."

Nodding in understanding, Unohana turned a bit as she said, "Then I will inform the soutaicho of your request," before she exited the room as quietly as she had entered.

Ichigo had noticed Urahara stiffen slightly at the mention of his dad and he was about to ask what that was about when his door banged open and Renji, Rukia, Ishida, and Chado came into the room. They swiftly began bombarding him with questions that he hastily tried to answer before they settled down and began talking animatedly about things he had missed: Rukia's promotion, a proper telling of the three new captains and the Central 46, the amount of paperwork that they had needed to do and still had to do, homework he had missed, and more.

He didn't notice Urahara and Yoruichi slipping sneakily out the door.

* * *

><p>His return home was postponed for a significantly longer time than he had initially planned since after he was discharged from the fourth division, he was dragged left and right by people to visit and attend parties. He never really could work up the effort to make real smiles but only those who knew him well noticed and they mercifully didn't comment. Rukia had smacked him on the shoulder, told him to take as long as he needed to get through whatever he was struggling with so long as he came to her if he needed help, and then proceeded to drag him off to another gathering of his friends.<p>

He had also taken a personal day to let himself come to terms with things and to try to force himself to get his act together to keep moving forward. Zangetsu silently promised his full support and though Shiro threatened him, the hollow's malice was far more mellow. Communicating with each other briefly during the unpredictable days spent in Hueco Mundo had bridged some of the gaps in their relationship though Shiro insisted otherwise. And Kyoka Suigetsu had spent the rest of that day telling him about her master in quiet, wistful tones.

By the time he was ready to leave, he was tired of, but internally happy, for the constant attention and presence of his friends; and he now felt he understood, at least a little bit more than before, that he knew who his lover had been. The former had prevented him from wallowing in despair, the latter had allowed him to address some internal issues with the guidance of his spirits. It was, more or less, the best way he could have coped with his loss.

It wouldn't be until the day when he and Ishida and Chado were saying their goodbyes at the mouth of the senkaimon that he vaguely recalled Urahara's strange behavior regarding his dad.

And it wouldn't be until several days after he returned home to see a teary Yuzu, a relieved Karin, and a idiotic happy Isshin sporting a mostly healed black eye that he learned that everything in his life was far from returning to normal.

That winter, it was cold and dreary and the weather did little to improve as days passed. Snow fell, blanketing the world in pearly whiteness and for a while, Ichigo had nightmares of that white being stained by red.

It had been a normal day, a week and a half after he returned home. Karin and Yuzu had gone out, leaving just him and Isshin in the house. He had been pulled away from gazing forlornly at the picture of Sousuke he had hidden in one of his favorite Shakespeare books, ironically _Romeo and Juliet_, when his dad had called him downstairs where he had been met with an unusually serious Isshin.

"Ichigo... we need to talk."

And just like that, the illusion that he lived a perfectly normal life with a relatively normal family was completely and utterly destroyed.

* * *

><p>Several people arranged themselves in various postures before the single chair in the room where one person sat. The bright screen of a phone resting on the chair's arm barely illuminated the features of his face, its light not strong enough to penetrate the darkness of the room. Deep, purple eyes stared piercingly at everyone present behind the faint glow as he asked in a deceptively quiet manner, "The boy is gone?"<p>

A voice crackled on the other end. "Yeah. I doubt he'll be back in Soul Society anytime soon."

Luscious lips curled into a smirk as a voluptuous woman murmured silkily in a husky, throaty voice, "Then shall we begin the first stage of the plan?"

Another male, short in stature but in possession of a great maturity, said sharply, "Not yet. We need to wait until Soul Society returns to a state of complete peace. Two or three years should suffice but no earlier than that." The woman shrugged carelessly but beside her, a childish voice rang out sullenly, "No fair! I don't wanna wait that long! I wanna play now!"

Someone pet her head on the head soothingly before saying quietly, "Patience. You can wait just a little bit longer." Robes swished as she adjusted a bundle in her arms while the child pouted and grumbled, "You can say that 'cause you're not the one still hiding."

Through the phone, the man spoke up again, his voice tinged with amusement, "We're gonna need ya t' come back soon by th' way. Yer 'headache' is startin' t' send yer lieutenant into a panic an' I think he's gonna run t' the fourth division soon."

Sighing, Nigami tossed her long blue hair back before straightening up, letting the white bundle in her arms unfold. "Tell Kira-san I just need another hour and then I'll be fine. I will be back by in Soul Society by then." Slipping her captain's cloak back on, she added after a moment of speculation, "When do you intend to begin Sagi?"

There was a moment where the faint sound of static was the only thing that could be heard before he replied casually, "I'm gonna start the game in two years. Just a li'l thing, nothin' major. An' then eventually, it'll all build up into somethin' more on it's own and that's when the rest o' ya can begin t' make yer own moves."

Collective sighs were heard throughout the room before the voluptuous woman asked lightly, "And our master's soul?"

They could practically hear the grin from the other side of the line.

"Central 46 has it nice an' hidden away from sight. Nobody's gonna notice when it vanishes sometime in the next couple o' years." Pausing, he then added, "We might be in a wee bit o' trouble if he still has some o' his memories when he wakes up though. Should I do anythin' about that?"

The question was directed at their temporary leader who, up until that point, hadn't spoken a word except for his initial question. Fingers deftly toying with the hilt of his blade, the man ordered crisply, "Take whatever measures you deem necessary Sagi. Just make sure it does nothing to impede our goals."

Sagi gave a cheerful "Yes sir!" before he addressed their final issue.

"And what of the boy?"

The man gripped his blade. "Keep an eye on him. We will be needing his power soon." He paused and then added, "Ah, just a moment, I think I have a rather... beneficial idea." His handsome face twisted into a wicked smirk.

"If we play our cards right, the boy will give us what we want with little trouble. And then," the room thrummed with dark ominous power, "we will finally claim all three worlds and rule them with our master."

Sagi chuckled before saying lightly, "Whatever floats yer boat Leader-san~ Imma gonna return to my work before Hisa-tan flips out again an' gets his ass sent to the fourth division again. I'll be in touch~" The line went dead and the faint beeping sounds from it echoed loudly in the quiet, restless room.

Just a little while longer.

Two more insignificant years of waiting and then they would finally be able to make their move. The humans were weak, the hollows lost and broken. They would take the next step and annihilate the shinigamis, the last obstacle that still stood between them and their goals. And then Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and the Human World would all be within their grasp. The situation was ideal, the chess pieces almost in their places.

The shinigamis were foolish to think their worries were over after the Winter War.

Things were far from finished.

The end was only just beginning.

* * *

><p><em>~Owari~<em>

* * *

><p>AN: And that marks the end of True Wish! I will probably not start working on the sequel until 2013 begins (assuming the world still exists by that point) since I predict I will be very busy with school work and I want to take some time to work on my other stories.

The sequel will be much more different since it will involve significantly more characters than TW and there will be a greater variety of relationships and characters explored throughout it. It will be long, it will be hard T^T I hope people are interested and that all my wonderful readers are looking forward to it~ (wishful thinking but a writer can dream). I will vehemently refuse to answer any questions regarding it since I don't want to ruin anything (or say something I might change later) but I will post some mini-previews of the sequel on my profile if you want to check those out.

Many thanks to everyone who took the time to read this! It is my first completed multi-chapter fanfic and I feel an incredible amount of happiness (and a healthy dose of pride) that it was so well-received. I've worked out certain chinks (such as my inability to judge chapter lengths) and I've still got to work on others (like regularly updating). But thank you to all of you who put up with my inexperience and who took the liberty to review, favorite it, criticize it, etc~

I enjoyed reading each and every email I received that notified me of new readers or new reviews. Without them, I may not have been able to pull through with writing this.

Okay, I'm done babbling now. Again, thank you for reading True Wish and I hope you check out the sequel!

~Diamond Snowflake


End file.
